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  • mistermuse 1:01 am on December 30, 2017 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: Donald O'Connor, Easy come easy go, , Fit as a fiddle, , , , If it looks like a duck, , old sayings, , , , , , Tweety Bird,   

    DUBIOUS PROPOSITIONS 

    I’m a big fan of old sayings, but even I concede that some sayings could no more pass the proverbial smell test than a rodent could pass a spell(ing) test. They may seem innoscent enough, but smellegant isn’t the same as elegant, and you must admit that a proverb like A turd in the hand is worth two in the tush is less than elegant. Really, close encounters of the turd kind could leave you holding your nose….if not checking your rear-view mirror.

    That said, are such askew old sayings any less farcical than the twisted tweets America’s Tweeter-in-Chief oft twitters? “Fake news!”…”fake news!”…”fake news!” And if ANYONE can smell (like) a rat when it comes to fake news, it is obviously President Tweety Turd.

    Leaving the President’s behind for a moment, here are some classic old sayings. Can you make out the fakeout — aka smell the rat — in these venerable gems?

    If it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, and mocks like a mocking bird, duck — it’s The Donald.

    A watched pot never boils….but it may get a bit peeved.

    A rolling stone gathers no animosity.

    A fool and his honey are soon parted.

    Faint heart ne’er won bare lady.

    Oil and water don’t mix — got that, Slick?

    You can’t get blood out of a turnip, but you can get honey out of two-lips.

    Monkey pee pee, monkey do do (easy come, easy go).

    Dead men tell no tales, but some may leave a will which does.

    Friends and would-be heirs, some of the above were almost enough to make me gag, but I can assure your butt that not every old phrase strays in dubious ways. For example:

    ….and this:

    ….and this:

    Oh….and I almost forgot this old saying: HAPPY NEW YEAR!

     

     

     

     
    • Garfield Hug 6:30 am on December 30, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      Happy New Year Mistermuse! Love your “old” sayings🤗

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 9:27 am on December 30, 2017 Permalink | Reply

        Thank you. Here’s an “old” saying that’s so bad, it goes without saying: A GARFIELD HUG AROUND THE TUSH IS WORTH TWO IN THE BUSH. Sorry about that — especially if you mind Garfield hugging you around the tush. 🙂

        Like

    • Carmen 7:41 am on December 30, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      As hubby’s grandmother used to say (referring to the first video), “Those fellas are SOUP-le”. 🙂
      Great videos as usual, mistermuse! (Although the second one wasn’t available -in my country, I assume)
      Meanwhile, here in the Maritimes, we are bringing in the brass monkey at night. Brrrrr. . Happy New Year, eh? 😉

      Liked by 2 people

      • mistermuse 9:44 am on December 30, 2017 Permalink | Reply

        “SOUP-le” sounds like French for “supple.” I’d supple-ment that with something witty, but it’s not supple-meant to be.

        The second video is a 1939 song titled SNUG AS A BUG IN A RUG, which I hope you and your hubby are staying in this “Brrrrr” weather.

        Warmest wishes for the New Year.

        Like

        • Carmen 9:57 am on December 30, 2017 Permalink

          That was the joke. She meant to say ‘supple’, as in ‘can bend easily’ but it came out mispronounced. It was one of those endearing things she said which no one ever corrected – she was a character! 🙂
          We’ve got fires in both the furnace and the kitchen wood range. . . we’re managing! Even took the kids on a not-exactly-sleigh-ride yesterday (it was a balmy minus 8 C) — a trailer hooked to an old tractor, complete with straw bales and blankets. Seventeen children, eight on down to eight months, thought it was a great time!

          Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse 11:01 am on December 30, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      That “sleigh ride” sounds like a blast (of cold air), but who cares about the cold when you’re “eight on down.” It’s a different story when you’re eighty on up….but it beats the alternative of being six feet under. 😦

      Liked by 1 person

    • manoloprofe 1:16 pm on December 30, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      Happy New Year & thanks a lot for being in the observation post…! 🙂 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 5:33 pm on December 30, 2017 Permalink | Reply

        It has been my pleasure. Hopefully 2018 will be another good year of observation and posting for both of us.

        Liked by 1 person

    • RMW 2:27 pm on December 30, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      Still in love with Gene Kelly after all these years…

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 5:37 pm on December 30, 2017 Permalink | Reply

        And well you should….after all, Gene Kelly danced almost as well as I (in my dreams). 🙂

        Like

    • Don Frankel 7:52 pm on December 30, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      Happy New Year Muse!

      Remember ‘Actions Speak Louder Than Words’.

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 8:25 pm on December 30, 2017 Permalink | Reply

        B.B. King must’ve thought he was indeed a king, singing “You don’t do as I tell you, baby” in that song — apparently her INaction spoke louder than words, as far as he was concerned. The nerve of the woman, not doing as he told her!

        Don, if you’re heading for Times Square tomorrow night to ring in the New Year, stay warm and sober (or at least warm). 🙂

        Like

        • Don Frankel 9:28 am on December 31, 2017 Permalink

          Muse I’m just going to post last year’s picture from last year. I’m not going out of the house today.

          Liked by 1 person

    • Superduque777 8:05 pm on December 30, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      Liked by 1 person

    • inesephoto 4:47 pm on January 1, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      Happy New Year! Love your blog ❤

      Liked by 1 person

    • lexborgia 11:32 pm on January 2, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      You can’t get blood out of a turnip…..leave a will which does.

      Liked by 1 person

  • mistermuse 12:00 am on September 28, 2017 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: black cat, , , , , old sayings, ,   

    CONFUCIUS SAY HERE TODAY, GONE TOMORROW 

    Today is birthday of Chinese philosopher Confucius, born September 28, 551 BC (not to be Confucius-ed with Chinese philosopher who long Ago Too Young die like fool, choking on egg). Confucius, of course, left us even more wise old sayings than the inscrutable Charlie Chan, which was pen name of writer called None the Wiser (not to be Confucius-ed with his agent — a gent named Ah So).

    In any case, in the interest of being fair and balanced and sly as a Fox, we herewith present selection of Confucius sayings to go along with those in CHARLIE CHAN post of Sept. 15. No matter which you prefer, may you benefit from their wisdom, and may all your male children be wise guys.

    I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.

    The hardest thing of all is to find a black cat in a dark room, especially if there is no cat.

    Real knowledge is to know the extent of one’s ignorance.

    Only the wisest and stupidest of men never change.

    He who knows all the answers has not been asked all the questions.

    The funniest people are the saddest ones.

    Sad to say, my work here is dumb….make that done. On second thought, maybe right first time.

     

     
    • Garfield Hug 12:56 am on September 28, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      Mistermuse you have outdone yourself in the humor category….I laughed so loudly!!😂😂

      Liked by 1 person

    • Richard Cahill 9:33 am on September 28, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      In the spirit of your previous blog, I’ll be sure to raise a stein to the memory of Confucius this weekend, Sr. Muse.

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 9:55 am on September 28, 2017 Permalink | Reply

        And in spirit of comment to previous blog post, Sr. Muse happily return Salud to you, Ricardo.

        Like

    • Forestwoodfolk 7:25 pm on September 28, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      Great minds think alike. Thanks for visiting me and commenting on my blog post about quotes and their meanings. Funny that we should do Confucius at the same time
      And it was his birthday!!

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 8:25 pm on September 28, 2017 Permalink | Reply

        I used to visit your blog fairly often but somehow got off track, which was my loss. Now that I’ve come across your blog again, I’ll try to keep up more regularly.

        Like

    • Don Frankel 4:21 pm on September 29, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      Nice Muse but I’m beginning to think that Confucius might be like Yogi in that he might not have said all the things he said.

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 4:37 pm on September 29, 2017 Permalink | Reply

        I got the same feeling when I read the “black cat” quote, Don. That one in particular seems suspect, in my opinion.

        Like

    • markscheel1 4:56 pm on September 30, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      Muse,

      My favorite is “Only the wisest and stupidest of men never change.” But it left me with the question, how do we tell the difference?

      Mark

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 7:56 pm on September 30, 2017 Permalink | Reply

        Good question, Mark. I’d say the answer is BY COMPARISON: Confucius with Trump, for example (though Trump does seem to have made some “cosmetic” changes over the years).

        Like

  • mistermuse 12:00 am on September 30, 2016 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: Chinese proverbs, , , , old sayings, , , , USA! USA! USA!,   

    CONFUCIUS, PRO AND CON 

    Yesterday, Sept. 29, was CONFUCIUS DAY. Confucius say: Mistermuse perfect pundit to write Sept. 30 CONFUCIUS DAY post because he always a day late and a yuan* short. Mistermuse say: I not a day late, Confucius Day a day too soon — besides, everyone know yuan is actually Spanish/Latino name (as in Don Juan), not Chinese. Latinos say: Whatever. Just don’t Confuci-us with the Japanese, who have the yen. Anyway, before yuan thing lead to another, what counts is the way we Americans say it: “A day late and a dollar short.”  USA! USA! USA!

    *Chinese currency

    Now that we’ve cleared that up, let us get down to the business at hand, which happens to be a selection of profound proverbs by Confucius, followed by an equal proportion of proverbial conclusions by Contrarius (which happens to be the pun name of Anonymous).

    Choose a job that you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.
    Learning without thought is labor lost; thought without learning is perilous.
    To see and listen to the wicked is already the beginning of wickedness.
    He who speaks without modesty will find it difficult to make words good.
    Only the wisest and stupidest of men never change.
    The superior man understands what is right; the inferior man understands what will sell.

    Man who stand on toilet may be high on pot.
    Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.
    Passionate kiss like spider web: leads to undoing of fly.
    People who eat too many prunes get good run for money.
    War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.
    Man who jump off cliff jump to conclusion.

    THE END (and not a moment too soon)

     

     

     

     
    • Cynthia Jobin 12:07 am on September 30, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Man who fly airplane upside down have crack up.

      Liked by 2 people

      • mistermuse 7:26 am on September 30, 2016 Permalink | Reply

        Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok. 😦

        Liked by 1 person

        • Michaeline 9:14 am on September 30, 2016 Permalink

          Woman with dress on walking though airport doing handstands reveals cock pit.

          Bunnies making love in bushes can be seen by their cotton balls.

          OLDER WOMEN ALLOWED TO SAY NAUGHTY JOKES, IF THEY CAN REMEMBER THEM.

          Liked by 1 person

        • Cynthia Jobin 10:40 am on September 30, 2016 Permalink

          As the youngsters say: LOL! I heard a lot of those from my Dad. We used to watch old Charlie Chan movies….

          Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse 9:30 am on September 30, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      But younger women have no such excuse, Michaeline, so your husband should wash your mouth out with soap. 🙂

      Like

    • arekhill1 11:18 am on September 30, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      This post gave me a bad case of deja moo, Sr. Muse. I’ve heard this bull before.

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 11:31 am on September 30, 2016 Permalink | Reply

        Sorry about that, Ricardo (and, according to your latest post, you’re not even a Taurus!).

        Like

    • Carmen 6:19 am on October 1, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      I see you are being your a-MUSE-ing self. . . 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse 7:24 am on October 1, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Thanks, Carmen, but one thing in my post confuses, as much as it amuses, me: what do the Japanese have a yen for (of course, I could guess, but I don’t yuan-na).

      Like

    • Don Frankel 2:51 pm on October 1, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Great, wise and funny stuff here Muse. But I must take umbrage with the one about not listening to wicked people. I mean if I had done that in life, I wouldn’t have any friends.

      Liked by 2 people

      • mistermuse 8:21 pm on October 1, 2016 Permalink | Reply

        Well, you’d still have me for a friend, Don (unless you count me among the wicked). 🙂

        As for the wise and funny stuff, I think perhaps the wisest proverb is actually one that’s listed with the funny ones: “War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.” How true that is!

        Like

    • Don Frankel 1:27 pm on October 2, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Think Winston Churchill got there first. “History is written by the victors.” Has a slight different bent but it’s the same thought.

      Like

    • mistermuse 3:19 pm on October 2, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      I think “war determine who is left” could also be taken in ‘the last man standing’ sense, regardless of the naïve belief that ‘the good guys are bound to win because they’re ‘right.’ But you’re probably right that it’s just a different take on the same thought.

      Like

    • BroadBlogs 2:22 pm on October 3, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Man who jump off cliff jump to conclusion.

      Hope you don’t do that with Trump.

      Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse 7:11 pm on October 3, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Sorry, but I’ve already jumped to the conclusion that Trump is the worst excuse for a Presidential candidate in my lifetime. I’d go back before that, but that would be jumping to another conclusion. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    • Forestwoodfolkart 7:18 am on November 27, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      I do like the Confucian sayings. They contain such wisdoms.

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 9:40 am on November 27, 2016 Permalink | Reply

        Absolutely! And to think that he said them 2,500 years ago! If most people haven’t taken them to heart by this time, will they ever?

        Liked by 1 person

  • mistermuse 12:00 am on August 15, 2016 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , , inspiration & perspiration, old sayings, , , song titles,   

    SAY WHAT AGAIN? 

    The use of wordplay in the titles of my last two posts (ROMANCE WASN’T BUILT IN A DAY and ALL’S FARE IN LOVE AND FOUR) doesn’t cancel the reservations I expressed in my 6/1/15 post (SAY WHAT?); i.e., it’s chancy to ‘pun’ old sayings because most people today don’t know them….and if they don’t know the sayings, they won’t get the wordplay.

    Now, granted that some party-poopers may have known the actual sayings (ROME WASN’T BUILT IN A DAY and ALL’S FAIR IN LOVE AND WAR) behind those titles, but pooh-poohed the wordplay as hardly worth the strain my brain went through to get the end result. Be that as it may, my purpose here is to be ‘test assured’ that my readers are more familiar with once-familiar old sayings than “most people” in the first place — so, if you’re game, here’s a list of 4 old sayings, 4 song titles, and 4 made-up idioms. If you can pick — out of the dozen — 3 of the 4 old sayings, consider yourself a genius. If you get all four right, I will consider you a genius.

    1.  FAINT HEART NE’ER WON FAIR LADY

    2.  A PRETTY GIRL IS LIKE A MELODY

    3.  DISCRETION IS THE BETTER PART OF VALOR

    4.  ANY PLACE I HANG MY HAT IS HOME

    5.  GOOD FECES MAKE GOOD NEIGHBORS

    6.  FISH AND VISITORS STINK AFTER THREE DAYS

    7.  ANY TIME’S THE TIME TO FALL IN LOVE

    8.  DON’T CHANGE CORPSES IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREAM

    9.  DON’T THROW COLD WATER ON THE FLAME OF LOVE

    10. GO TO BED WITH THE CHICKENS, WAKE UP WITH THE ROOSTERS

    11. WHILE THE CAT’S AWAY, THE MICE WILL PRAY*

    12. GENIUS IS ONE PERCENT INSPIRATION AND 99 PERCENT PERSPIRATION

    *Apparently they’re church mice.

    So, how do you think you did? If you can’t stand the suspense, hold on to your pants, because I will keep you in suspenders no longer — the old sayings are #1, #3, #6 and #12. Speaking of #12, if you weren’t right at least 3 times of 4, obviously you don’t perspire enough to be a genius.

    As for the other two categories, I made up #5 (“feces” for “fences”), #8 (“corpses” replaces “horses”), #10 and #11 (“pray” is a play on “play”), and the song titles are #2, #4, #7 and #9. What’s that you say — #9 sounds like something I made up, not a song? Well, I hate to throw cold water on your hot tamales, but the proof is in the pudding:

    In  closing, take pride, ye geniuses who passed the test and could dig the rest; let the record show, The wordplay’s the thing.

     

     

     

     
    • renxkyoko 12:18 am on August 15, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Good ” feces” and don’t change corpses ….. I was sure they were mistakes. lol

      Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse 3:40 am on August 15, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      I admit they’re not old sayings, but I still think they’re good advice. 🙂

      Like

    • linnetmoss 7:44 am on August 15, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      I got the four old sayings! The fish and visitors is a rule to live by, and I do. I believe it has been attributed to Ben Franklin. The first two sayings have a Shakespearean ring. As for the songs, I recognized a couple. Especially A Pretty Girl is Like a Melody, from the Ziegfeld Follies. And now… once more unto the beach.

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 8:34 am on August 15, 2016 Permalink | Reply

        True to my word, I hereby recognize you as A Pretty Girl — I mean, a genius….well, both actually.
        The first saying definitely has a Shakespearean ring, which is probably why I remember it as I posted it — although when I Googled it that way, all the sites came up FAINT HEART NEVER instead of FAINT HEART NE’ER….but, since I’m a helluva lot older than Google, I decided to take my word for it rather than Google’s.

        Liked by 1 person

        • linnetmoss 6:46 am on August 16, 2016 Permalink

          And the “discretion” one comes from Falstaff, though in slightly different form. Maybe it was already a proverb in the Bard’s day.

          Liked by 1 person

    • Don Frankel 8:23 am on August 15, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      I got all the old sayings as well I’m old. Missed one or two of the songs, especially don’t throw cold water on the flame of love. But I got all the word play because that is where we catch the conscious of The Muse.

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 8:44 am on August 15, 2016 Permalink | Reply

        I’m delighted to crown another genius, Don — if this keeps up, that should prove I have the most literate followers this side of F. Scott Fitzgerald.
        As for the song you missed, that was a tough one (which is why I included the “proof is in the pudding” link).

        Like

    • Cynthia Jobin 10:33 am on August 15, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Well, MisterMuse, I’m guessing it’s being old that allows me to identify those sayings, because I already know I am not a genius. I remember “Faint heart ne’er won fair lady..” from Gilbert and Sullivan’s IOLANTHE, though I doubt it originated there. And “Discretion…etc.” was spoken by Shakespeare’s Fallstaff in HENRY IV. “Inspiration…perspiration” is definitely Thomas Edison, and I always heard that business about fish and visitors came from Ben Franklin.

      The songs are all familiar, too…except for the last one, which you were kind enough to provide a video of…

      I wonder what Robert Frost would say about your removing the letter “n” from his famous line? Maybe that would make a good sign posted near a dog park as a reminder to pooper scoopers.

      And last, but not least, though I realize it has become accepted in popular parlance, I still scream at the TV every time I hear “the proof is in the pudding”…no, no no! It’s “The proof of the pudding is in the eating.”

      This was a lot of fun!

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 2:37 pm on August 15, 2016 Permalink | Reply

        As it happens, I own a 1941 book edited by Deems Taylor, titled A TREASURY OF GILBERT & SULLIVAN, which includes the music of IOLANTHE. In that book, I find that G & S titled the song FAINT HEART NEVER WON FAIR LADY, so if my memory of NE’ER (rather than NEVER) is correct, it must indeed have originated earlier, as you suggest. Otherwise, my memory is going the way of all flesh, ne’er to be trusted again. 🙂

        As for “the proof is in the pudding,” I suspect that’s W. C. Fields’ take on the saying, though whether he spiked the pudding with 100 proof, or whatever, probably depended on what was available. Quoting him: “I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food.”

        Liked by 1 person

        • Cynthia Jobin 3:30 pm on August 15, 2016 Permalink

          Well, if that’s the kind of “proof” we’re talking about, I have to say I finally understand “the proof is in the pudding.” Thanks for the enlightenment. 🙂

          Liked by 1 person

    • arekhill1 1:40 pm on August 15, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      1,3,6 and 12. Didn’t cheat

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 2:46 pm on August 15, 2016 Permalink | Reply

        Calling again on W. C. Fields, one of his films was titled YOU CAN’T CHEAT AN HONEST MAN. I assume that includes not being able to cheat oneself — which, of course, makes you an honest man….which, of course, I already knew. Honest!

        Like

    • eths 8:33 pm on August 15, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Fun!

      Liked by 1 person

    • GP Cox 1:53 pm on August 16, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      I’ll pick 3, 4, 7 & 12 as the old sayings.
      [okay – how stupid am I ?]

      Liked by 1 person

    • BroadBlogs 3:50 pm on August 17, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      FYI, here are the one’s I’m familiar with — including those wordplayed:

      3. DISCRETION IS THE BETTER PART OF VALOR

      5. GOOD FECES MAKE GOOD NEIGHBORS

      6. FISH AND VISITORS STINK AFTER THREE DAYS

      8. DON’T CHANGE CORPSES IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREAM

      11. WHILE THE CAT’S AWAY, THE MICE WILL PRAY*

      12. GENIUS IS ONE PERCENT INSPIRATION AND 99 PERCENT PERSPIRATION

      I’m still wondering at 3, 8, 11.

      Like

    • mistermuse 9:06 pm on August 17, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Not knowing quite what to say about your comment, I’ll “go” with #3. 🙂

      Like

  • mistermuse 4:57 pm on June 1, 2015 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , old sayings, phrases,   

    SAY WHAT? 

    When I make use of old sayings or adages (such as the title of my last post, DOLLARS TO DOUGH-NUTS), I sometimes hesitate to do so because I’ve observed that (unlike my generation)  many people these days don’t know them….which, in turn, means that the reader probably “doesn’t get it” and my wordplay didn’t work. You might claim that’s because my generation was around when most of these old sayings originated, so naturally I’m familiar with them. Very funny.

    DOLLARS TO DOUGHNUTS, for example, is a 19th century pseudo-betting phrase implying short odds (dollars are valuable but doughnuts aren’t), as in this sentence in a February 1876 Nevada newspaper: Whenever you hear any resident of a community attempting to decry the local paper…it’s dollars to doughnuts that such a person is either mad at the editor, or is owing the office for subscription or advertising.

    Well, I’ve got news for you — I wasn’t around in 1876, but I still knew the phrase. How familiar are you with old sayings such as these (just to make it interesting, all but one of the following have a slightly altered word or two; if you can make the appropriate corrections, I’ll admit that you came up smelling like a tokus — I mean, like a rose):

    1. A bird in the hand is worth two in the blue.
    2. It ain’t over, still the fat lady sings.
    3. It’s all over but the shooting.
    4. The best laid plans of mice and men oft go oy vey.
    5. A stitch in time saves a dime.

    6. A picture is worth a thousand turds.
    7. All good things come to those who can’t wait.
    8. All is fair in love and divorce.
    9. Behind every Dodge Stratus there’s a Silverado.
    10. Better late than whatever.

    11. He who hesitates is last.
    12. Neither rhyme nor treason.
    13. Blood is thicker than liquor.
    14. Don’t change houses in the middle of the storm.
    15. No rest for the wicked.

    And now, if you’ll pardon me, it’s time for my nap.

     

     

     

     

     
    • DoesItEvenMatterWhoIAm? 5:31 pm on June 1, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Nice lol! 😂

      Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse 8:15 pm on June 1, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      I guess you’ll just have to settle for a cigar! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • DoesItEvenMatterWhoIAm? 9:18 pm on June 1, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        Damned if I don’t have two of them growing mold in my humidor… I hate living in an apartment that makes me hike out to the street to smoke. I don’t want to sit on the curb to enjoy a good cigar…

        Like

    • mistermuse 10:41 pm on June 1, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Ever ready to come to the aid of a damsel in distress, my suggestion is to buy cheap cigars so that when they grow moldy and unsmokable, you’ve saved money.

      Like

    • BroadBlogs 2:00 pm on June 2, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      I have heard the phrase before. But I’d never known what it meant. Interesting! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse 4:33 pm on June 2, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Thanks. Perhaps I should take this occasion to report the correct words to replace the alterations I made in the first 14 sayings (just in case anyone’s curious about any they didn’t know):

      1. bush (instead of blue) 2. till (instead of , still) 3. shouting (instead of shooting) 4. awry (instead of oi vey) 5. nine (instead of a dime)

      6. words (instead of turds) 7. wait (instead of can’t wait) 8. war (instead of divorce) 9. cloud (instead of Dodge Stratus); silver lining (instead of Silverado) 10. never (instead of whatever)

      11. lost (instead of last) 12. reason (instead of treason) 13. water (instead of liquor) 14. horses (instead of houses); stream (instead of storm)

      Like

    • Don Frankel 7:22 pm on June 2, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      The Opera may not be over until the Fat Lady sings and the best laid schemes of mice and men Gang aft agley but nice guys finish, somewhere.

      Like

    • mistermuse 9:21 pm on June 2, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      “Nobody goes there anymore. lt’s too crowded.” –Yogi Berra

      Like

    • Don Frankel 4:58 am on June 4, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      “Some guys don’t like to swing on a 3 – 0 pitch because they swing.” Yogi Berra. Unlike a lot of Yogisms that he may or may not have actually said, I heard him say that one.

      Like

    • mistermuse 6:38 am on June 4, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      That reminds me of this Yogism: “I never said most of the things I said.” You gotta love it!

      Like

    • arekhill1 6:02 pm on June 10, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      With the price of a decent doughnut well over a buck nowadays, it’s no wonder no one uses that old saw anymore.

      Like

    • mistermuse 7:03 pm on June 10, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      There’s not a hole lot I can say about that….and probably it’s just as well.

      Like

  • mistermuse 3:40 pm on January 23, 2015 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , By George!, Honesty is the best policy, , , , old sayings, Rex Harrison,   

    GEORGE (STILL) ON MY MIND 

    I wonder how many readers of my previous post realized that its title was an old expression dating back over 300 years. According to grammarphobia.com, BY GEORGE dates from a 1694 translation of a comedy by Platus: “By George, you shan’t be a Sowce the better for what’s in it”….but “George” was used in an expression even earlier, as here (from a 1598 Ben Johnson play): “Well! he knowes what to trust to, for George.” Here is a more recent (1964) example of “By George!” by Rex Harrison in the above-average film MY FAIR LADY, starring Harrison and Audrey Hepburn:

    My larger point: the small percentage of people who know old adages and expressions  — at least, that is my impression from watching game shows like JEOPARDY!, where supposed broadly-knowledgeable players almost invariably don’t know a familiar (to me) old saying when the question arises. You may say That’s easy for me to say, an old codger who was probably around before most old sayings started. Very funny. I resemble that remark — and I’m not the only one:

    So much for idle rumors. If you’re so smart, let’s see how many of these old sayings you know at your tender age. No cheating. Remember, honesty is the best policy (why give insurance companies a legitimate excuse not to pay — they’ll give you a hard enough time on general principles). But just to keep you on your tokus, I’ll throw in several dishonest — I mean made-up — old aphorisms to see if you can separate the wheat from the shaft:

    A fool and his money are soon parted.

    A day late and a dollar early.

    A man who is his own lawyer has a fool for a client.

    Abstinence makes the heart grow fonder.

    All work and no play makes Jack an ass.

    Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies.

    Better late than never.

    Blood is thicker than tomato soup.

    Close but no cigar.

    Close only counts in horseshit.

    Curiosity killed the cat.

    Do unto others before they do unto you.

    The rest is yet to come….

    ….if I do a Part Two.

     
    • arekhill1 3:47 pm on January 23, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      You forgot “virtue is its own remorse.”

      Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse 4:05 pm on January 23, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      I soitenly did (but I didn’t forget that Curly often said “soitenly”).

      Like

    • Don Frankel 5:40 pm on January 23, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      1 P.T. Barnum 2 Fraud Alert 3 Clarence Darrow 4 Fraud Alert 5 Fraud Alert 6 W.C. Fields 7 Anonymous 8 Fraud Alert 9 Fidel Castro 10 Fraud Alert 11 Lassie 12 Julius Caesar then he said Et tu Brute 13 Fraud Alert.

      Like

      • mistermuse 7:11 pm on January 23, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        Don, I know you got the Fraud Alerts and Lassie right. I’ll take your word for the rest.

        Like

    • ladysighs 5:43 pm on January 23, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      My favorite in your list is: Abstinence makes the heart grow fonder.
      It also makes the heart to wander yonder. 😦

      Like

      • mistermuse 7:19 pm on January 23, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        Having been happily married to the same woman for only 46 years, I’ll have to take your word for it, ladysighs. 🙂

        Like

    • Michaeline Montezinos 5:51 pm on January 23, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      I am not as “old” as some people I know but I do recall those adages, mistermuse. You did not fool me with those fake ones either, by George!

      Like

    • mistermuse 7:28 pm on January 23, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Curses! Foiled again! 🙂

      Like

    • Don Frankel 2:29 pm on January 24, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Do I win anything? I mean I just took this 12 question world history test on Facebook and got them all right and I asked did I win anything? And, well I got no answer.

      Like

    • mistermuse 5:44 pm on January 24, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Don, I got to thinking that Lassie, being a dog, couldn’t be the right answer to #11 – it had to be a horse. So even if you got the rest right, the answer to your question is literally #11.

      However, I won’t let that be the end of it – here’s some info that’s straight from the horse’s mouth, and even better than a prize: I checked Wikipedia’s “List of historical horses” and found that a horse named FRANKEL is listed as the “Highest rated horse in history” (undefeated in 14 career starts). So now, if anyone ever calls you a horse’s ass (not that anyone ever would), you can tell them to kiss your rear just like all the other losers wound up doing.

      Liked by 1 person

    • carmen 5:16 am on December 21, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      You might be interested to know that NOEL Harrison had a 300-acre farm not far from where I live, in the early 70’s; he was a well-known figure in these parts. I believe he was here for about 10 years.

      Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse 7:33 am on December 21, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Thanks for the info. I didn’t know that, so I checked Wikipedia for the details. Turns out he bought a farmhouse & moved to Mt. Hanley, Nova Scotia, in 1972. The house burned down in the winter of 1974, but he built a new one (without electricity, would you believe) and didn’t return to England until the late 1990s. His photo shows a distinct resemblance to his father (Rex).

      Like

      • carmen 10:34 am on December 21, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        I graduated High School in 1975. The parties over there were lengendary by that time; many teenagers were attracted to him and the ‘characters’ he befriended. At that time, I had no idea what the big deal was about the guy. . .interested in other things, I guess. It wasn’t until years later that I finally figured out, “OH! THAT’s who he is” 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  • mistermuse 7:39 pm on February 9, 2014 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , bed humor, hit the hay, hit the sack, , old sayings, , wrong side of the bed   

    SO THEY SAY (PART FOUR-POSTER) 

    Have you heard the one about the best cure for insomnia? Get more sleep.
    In order to do that, it might help if you go to bed instead of staying up late reading….unless, of course, you’re reading this post, in which case, all beds are off. You can’t get (revised) wisdom like this in your dreams, you know:

    Gone to bed with the chickens.
    Mr. Rooster says it’s a hard life, but somebody’s got to do it.

    You’ve made your bed, now lie in it.
    Like you don’t lie enough when you’re awake?

    She got up on the wrong side of the bed.
    Buy a bed that doesn’t have two wrong sides.

    She looks like an unmade bed.
    Makeup-wise, face it — the bed can wait. It’s not going anywhere.

    I hate to be a wet blanket, but it’s time to hit the hay….or the sack, if it’s a good night.
    Good night.

     
    • Don Frankel 6:35 am on February 10, 2014 Permalink | Reply

      “Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy wealthy and wise.”
      So why am I broke?

      Like

    • mistermuse 10:31 am on February 10, 2014 Permalink | Reply

      Don, along with being healthy and wise, no doubt you’re also handsome and saintly, so be happy with 4 out of 5….just like I have to be satisfied with my 4 bed-sayings (if I’d thought of yours, my piece wouldn’t be a FOUR-POSTER, and a FIVE-POSTER wouldn’t work here – though it would definetly be a novelty).

      Like

  • mistermuse 3:05 pm on February 3, 2014 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: axioms, expressions, , , lightbulbs, , old sayings, , Seeing is believing, , , turnips, ,   

    SO THEY SAY (PART THREE) 

    Time once again for another exciting episode of SO THEY SAY, so let’s get back to where Part Two left off, and continue putting the right slant on some questionable old axioms. My readers deserve nothing less, because….well, they just don’t.

    *****************************************************************************

    The best things in life are free.
    Nevertheless, donations are acccepted for this and all previous and future posts.

    She will talk to a wooden Indian.
    That’s why I keep a wooden Indian around the house.

    You can’t get blood out of a turnip.
    Try praying harder.

    The bigger they are, the harder they fall.
    Try praying harder, but only for small turnips. If they fall hard enough, the big turnips should bleed on their own.

    It is better to light one candle than to curse the darkness.
    Or, you could pay your electric bill or replace that burned-out bulb.

    Six of one, half dozen of another.
    The correct Jeopardy! answer is: How many Ricardos and Dons does it take to change a lightbulb?

    Seeing is believing.
    How true. I see much better now, after turning on the candle in the light socket.

    She can’t help being ugly, but she could’ve stayed home.
    Maybe she had to run out and buy a thesaurus.

    There’s no fool like an old fool.
    I prefer to think of it as being special.

    Say what you mean and mean what you say.
    But don’t be mean when you say it.

     
    • arekhill1 11:17 am on February 4, 2014 Permalink | Reply

      Are you just checking if I’m reading, Sr. Muse? As a writer, I am capable of changing a lightbulb by myself, but only after it goes on an emotional journey.

      Like

    • Don Frankel 4:46 pm on February 4, 2014 Permalink | Reply

      Since it takes 12 government employees to change a light bulb you can have both of us. Then you might need a few others as the 12 government employees would have a meeting to change the light bulb. That would not necessarily get the bulb changed. In which case you might be sitting in the dark until you lit a candle or hired a private contractor to change the light bulb.

      Like

    • mistermuse 5:01 pm on February 4, 2014 Permalink | Reply

      Ricardo, would I ever doubt your loyalty? (Don’t answer that).

      Actually, you and Don were the unfortunate victims of desperation on my part with regard to “Six of one, half dozen of another.” Rejoinders to the other axioms came to me fairly readily, but try as I may, that one had me stumped until I thought of the old joke about how many Polacks does it take to change a lightbulb?

      Apologies to you, Don and any Polacks who may be tuned in.

      Like

    • Michaeline Montezinos 10:03 am on February 7, 2014 Permalink | Reply

      I accept your apology since I knew you were jesting. My brother called me a “Polack,” and I was upset. Of course, he was in his cups and he is Polish, too. I enjoyed your revisions of these common mottoes or cliches. Please include me in future bulb changing episodes as I am not as sensitive as others can be and not easily offended. Funny stuff mistermuse. I always enjoy your writing. 🙂

      Like

    • mistermuse 4:48 pm on February 7, 2014 Permalink | Reply

      Thanks, Michaeline. I was almost hoping that you wouldn’t see my “Polack” explanation, as I remembered that you’re part Polish, and I didn’t want to offend, though I agree it shouldn’t offend. There are lots of jokes about drunken Irishmen, for example, but I’m not sensitive about them although I’m part Irish. Maybe it’s because Irishmen can laugh at themselves.

      Like

  • mistermuse 7:36 pm on January 31, 2014 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , course of true love never runs smooth, cure is worse than the disease, death and taxes. pen is mightier than the sword, left hand doesn't know what the right hand is doing, , old sayings, , squeaky wheel gets the grease, , , way to a man's heart is through his stomach   

    SO THEY SAY (PART TWO) 

    How time flies. It seems like only yesterday that I posted Part One of SO THEY SAY. Time to get back to work. Time’s a-wasting. Time to bite the bullet. Time is stranger than fiction. Etc.

    In Part One, as you will fail to recall, I did what I will continue in Part Two, so rather than repeat the original intro, I’m sitting here trying to think of another one even more brilliant….

    Sorry, I can’t do the impossible. Just scroll down to that post to get the idea. They say time waits for no one, but I’ll wait. Take your time.

    *****************************************************************************

    The left hand doesn’t know what the right hand is doing.
    As if it cared.

    The squeaky wheel gets the grease.
    Hold the fries.

    There may be snow on the roof, but there’s still fire in the furnace.
    I suppose that beats fire on the roof and snow in the furnace.

    The course of true love never runs smooth.
    What’s the rush?

    The cure is worse than the disease….
    u
    nless the side effects put you mercifully out of your misery. Just sayin’.

    The only sure thing is death and taxes.
    That’s two things (unless you can afford a very creative accountant).

    The pen is mightier than the sword.
    ….
    and just as obsolete.

    The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.
    OK, I’ll bite….as long as I don’t get heartburn and there’s a rear exit.

    The truth shall set you free.
    My truth — not the other guy’s. Trust me.

    The more things change, the more they remain the same.
    Sounds to me
    like there may be
    a Part Three.
    We shall see.

     
    • Don Frankel 4:33 pm on February 1, 2014 Permalink | Reply

      I think a third one should be a lead pipe cinch. So long as the Creek don’t rise.

      Like

    • mistermuse 6:07 pm on February 1, 2014 Permalink | Reply

      You got it, Don.

      Come hell or high water,
      I’m up to working harter.
      #3 may not be better,
      But it’s shore to be wetter.

      Like

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