THE INDISPENSABLE (OLD) MAN

“It’s possible there will be some [deaths as a result of reopening the country now].” –President Donald Trump in response to ABC’s David Muir on May 5, 2020.

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In 1963, President John F. Kennedy proclaimed May as Senior Citizens Month (changed in 1965 to OLDER AMERICANS MONTH). Judging by Trump’s desperation to get the economy humming again before the election — and before the Covid-19 danger (especially to our most vulnerable citizens) is well under control — May seems destined to become Expendable Older Americans Month.

I dare say that, although Trump may consider his fellow senior Americans like Joe Biden, mistermuse, and (perhaps) you expendable, he doesn’t see himself in that category. After all, the country can ill afford to lose a stable genius at a time like this — or at any other time (such as November 3, 2020, for example).

Now, I hate to be the bearer of bad tidings to The Indispensable Man, but it’s just minutely possible that he may lose the upcoming election despite his stable pomposity — er, geniosity. However, in the unlikely event that that happens, His Stable Highness can take consolation in the fact that, like the rest of us put-out-to-pasture patriarchs, he can still be King (Emeritus) of his castle:

DYING FOR DOLLARS

Some of you may remember a long-running (1950s to early 1990s) TV program called DIALING FOR DOLLARS in which the host (after announcing the password(s) at the start of the show) randomly picked a phone number to call. If the person being called gave the password, he or she would win prize money; an incorrect answer would increase the prize money for the next call, and so on. Here’s SCTV’s take on the program:

Nowadays, it seems there’s a new game on TV:  a daily game in which the host is President/Scientific Genius Donald Trump, the password is nominally COVID-19, and the payoff is whatever he says it is in order to re-start the economy at any price — ranging from billions of dollars for big business and big banks, to ingesting disease-killing disinfectants. Regarding the latter, you may be tempted to say, “You first, Mr. President.” Too late! The next day, he said he was just kidding and didn’t mean it. Hahahahahahaha.

It’s Not Fake News: Trump Did Actually Suggest That Injecting Bleach Could Be a Cure for COVID-19

Sorry, Mr. Desperate President, the joke is on you, because you’re sicker than the sickest Covid-19 patient, and there’s no cure for your virulent virus except the resounding defeat you must suffer on Nov. 3.

HAIKU!….GESUNDHEIT!

Pardon me while I celebrate INTERNATIONAL HAIKU POETRY DAY. Haiku, as you know, is a three-line poem of 5, 7, and 5 syllables, which happens to total 17, which happens to be this day of the month, which happens to be INTERNATIONAL I-Already-Told-You-What DAY. So, here are a few lowbrow examples of haiku, guaranteed to ruin your appetite for haiku for the for-eatable future. If you have trouble swallowing any of these, feel free to wash it down with a swig of your favorite beverage, followed by a quart of milk of magnesia. If that doesn’t relieve your groan, you’re on your own.

ONE TOO MANY (syllables)

Excuses may be
easy to make…but they don’t
make up for your mistake.

A NEAR MYTH

Once upon a time
I tried to make a haiku
rhyme. Maybe next time.

HAIKU ON THE HUSTINGS

Politician beams,
waves to crowd of strange faces…
he’s been here before.

Had enough? Believe it or not, it could always be worse:

 

 

 

A HELLUVA WAY TO RUN A WORLD

“This is a helluva way to run a railroad.” –from a 1906 speech by Leonor F. Loree, railroad executive, to a committee of creditors who asked him to take charge of the Kansas City Southern Railroad, which was described as two streaks of rust; its engines lost steam; the men were disheartened; and the stations were shacks.

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Since first said in 1906, the above quote has famously become a catchphrase for the high-and-mighty mentality of any commercial, governmental, military, or other top-down entity operating in a fashion oblivious to SNAFU (Situation Normal, All Fucked Up). I (and maybe you too) have had occasion to view SNAFU close-up and personal, having served as a draftee in the military and as a 30-year “soldier” in the corporate milieu before retiring to savor domestic life anew (and rue honey-do). But at least I’m the boss of my own blog (though still at the mercy of invisible forces somewhere out there in the blogosphere).

Anyway, being of a philosophical bent, this got me to thinking about helluva railroads and SNAFU, writ LARGE –as in, dude: how did this whole woebegone world come to be so SNAFUed? Do we have a clue? Perhaps a few of us do.

It’s a story we can’t stop telling ourselves. Once, humans were benighted by superstition and irrationality, but then the Greeks invented reason. Later, the Enlightenment enshrined rationality as the supreme value. Discovering that reason is the defining feature of out species, we named ourselves the “rational animal.” But is this flattering story rational? From sex and music to religion and war, irrationality makes up the greater part of human life and history. –from a reference to IRRATIONALITY (subtitled A HISTORY OF THE DARK SIDE OF REASON), a book by Justin E. H. Smith, a professor of history and the philosophy of science.

Well, if that isn’t food for thought, I don’t know what is. The problem, of course, is what it has always been: those most in need of reflecting on and applying such appraisal to oneself wouldn’t be caught dead doing so. It’s Greek to them. The Trumps of the world live in their own little world where big money talks….and it speaks power.

Oh well. So much for funny money.

 

PREACHING TO THE LIAR

Mr. President:

Why did you lie when you said….

in September 2018 (addressing the United Nations), “My administration has accomplished more than almost any administration in the history of our country”….adding, “So true” as laughter broke out among the foreign dignitaries.

in October 2018 (when there were still about 1,000 troops in Syria) , “Look, we have no soldiers in Syria. We’ve won.”

in February 2019, “And when I look at what’s happened in California with the votes — as you know, there was just a case where they found a million fraudulent votes.”

in April 2019, “If you  have a windmill near your house, congratulations, your house just went down 75% in value. And they say the noise causes cancer.”

in May 2019 (about Veteran’s Choice, a bill co-authored by John McCain which President Obama signed into law in 2014), “I disagree with John McCain on the way he handled the vets, because I said you got to get Choice. He was never able to get Choice. I got Choice.”

in October 2019, “They heard a whistleblower who came out with a false story. What the whistleblower said bore no relationship to what the call was.” (The whistleblower’s primary allegations were proven correct, including by the rough transcript Trump himself released.)

Etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., ad infinitum….

Why, Mr. President — WHY, WHY, WHY, WHY, WHY?

 

ROBOCALLERS FOR TRUMP

Your phone rings for the umpteenth time today. You pick it up.

YOU: “Trump re-election campaign headquarters. How much would you like to donate today?”

ROBOCALLER: Hangs up. Dials again.

YOU: “Trump re-election campaign headquarters. How much would you like to donate today?”

ROBOCALLER: “Are you sure this is Trump re-election campaign headquarters?”

YOU: “No, THIS is Trump re-election campaign headquarters. Man, are you mixed up. But that’s OK — we love people like you. Now, how much would you like to donate today?”

ROBOCALLER: “Blankety-blank-blank-blank-blank!!!!”

YOU: “Maybe you’re right. Maybe you’re Trump re-election campaign headquarters — who else could be so clueless? But if you think I’d help re-elect a President who hires ignoramuses like you, you’ve got another think coming. And you can tell your boss I said so.”

You hang up. Two minutes later, your phone rings again. Another robocaller?

YOU: “Trump re-election campaign headquarters. How much would you like to donate today?”

CALLER: “YOU’RE FIRED!“

TRUMP AIN’T NOTHING BUT A GROUNDHOG

I wasn’t going to do a Groundhog Day post, but then I came across this Feb. 1, 2017 clip and, though I had second thoughts, decided (on third thought) to pass it on. Who said I ain’t nothing but a gentleman?

Hey, nothing said (or sung) about Trump could be more vulgar (not to mention obnoxious and disgusting) than Trump himself, right?

HOLLYWOOD’S GOLDEN AGE: END OF THE TRAIL

Just as all good things must come to an end, so too must all bad things (even Trump’s evil rule will run out of recourse eventually — e.g., the fat lady’s last aria at the opera seems to go on forever; will it end short of becoming a hoarse opera?). What it all a-mounts to is….

Meanwhile, back at the ranch , we bid happy trails to “bad” actors not named Trump, and end our HOLLYWOOD’S GOLDEN AGE series with a roundup of some of the era’s great song & dance stars, starting with this incomparable pair whose magic outlasted their time:

When it comes to high-energy dancing, no one outshined Gene Kelly. Here he is in THE PIRATE (1948), clowning around with the fabulous Nicholas Brothers:

I do have one regret about this retrospective: so many musical stars, so little time and wherewithal for them all. Perhaps, as time goes by, I will use a favorite star’s birthday as an occasion to do an occasional post.

In closing (speaking of when A STAR IS BORN), if ever someone was born to be one, it’s this star-crossed girl/woman with whom we bring down the curtain on this series:

SCREENINGS FOR ELLA

“….any day with Ella Fitzgerald is a grand day. ….that song [is] another one I hadn’t heard before.” –from a June 13 comment to my last (June 6th) post by Silver Screenings (a blog published by ‘Ruth’)

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In my reply to Ruth, I noted that with June 15 nearing (the 23rd anniversary of Ella’s death), I’d use the occasion to post a remembrance, including clips of other songs she may not have heard Ella sing. Over the years, I’ve probably done over a dozen Ella clips, including a half dozen in my April 25th post titled THE FIRST LADY OF SONG. After screening a few previous Ella posts to try to avoid repetition, hopefully the songs that follow will fall fresh on Ruth’s ‘Ella-fan-true’ ears (as opposed to mistermuse’s Elephant ears).

Let’s start with an early Ella (as ‘girl’ vocalist with Chick Webb’s Orchestra in April 1936):

Next, we turn from the swinging Ella to a more dreamy Ella:

Before you tune out, I know some of you guys aren’t fans of my kind of music (or the songbirds who warble it), so next time I’ll consider a return to posting about your (and Mexico’s) favorite tweeter of note, Donaldo el Trumpo — mean-o-while, I bid you a fond….

NO BRAINER DAY

I think, therefore I am. –René Descartes 
I overthink, therefore I post. –mistermuse

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Lately, I’ve been burning too much mental energy cooking up posts to roast Trump (e.g., I almost said toast rump); the heat is turning my face red and giving me the thinking blues:

Frankly, friends, I think I need to cool it before the strain becomes a drain on my brain and gives me a pain. Fortunately, Feb. 27 is NO BRAINER DAY — a perfect day to post a post which requires little or no thinking. But before you Trump reprobates snidely ask how that would make this post any different from my previous posts, answer me this: how much thought do you think The Donald gives his tweets? Even a smart-ask Trumpite should allow that mistermuse be entitled to one day of devoting the same paucity of gray matter to his post that your Orange Oligarch devotes to his tweets every day.

With that in mind, I’m giving the rest of this tome over to posting what others thought when they thought about thinking/not thinking. Do I think their thinking will make you think you’re thinking what I’m thinking about thinking/not thinking? Just a thought.

So, let’s get quoting before I change my mind and start thinking again:

I think that I think; therefore, I think I am. –Ambrose Bierce

[I think that I think, therefore] I yam what I yam. –Popeye the Sailor Man

There is no expedient to which a man will not go to avoid the labor of thinking. –Thomas Edison

Ours is an age which is proud of machines that think, and suspicious of men who try to. –Howard Mumford Jones

The best way [for a woman] to win a man is to make him think you think as much of him as he does. –Evan Esar

In America, we say what we think, and even if we can’t think, we say it anyhow. –Charles F. Kettering

In closing, did you know Rodin’s THE THINKER was originally called THE POET:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Thinker

I happen to know that THE POET didn’t appreciate the name change, thus this reaction:

Mused The Poet to a passing skunk,
“What good is being called The Thinker?
To some day convey the aura of a President,
It should Don the wrap, like you, of The Stinker.”