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  • mistermuse 12:00 am on September 24, 2017 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: Bat Masterson, , female Marshals, , , , lawbreakers, , My L:ittle Chickadee, Philadelphia, , saloons, , six-shooter, U.S. Marshals, W. C. Fields, Wild Bill Hickok, Wild West,   

    MARSHAL LAW and SOILED DOVES 

    I have often not been asked who my favorite Old West marshal is. Just as often, I have not replied: “I have not often given it any thought.” I suppose that if, for some desperate reason (such as drawing a blank for something to write about for this post) I had given it any thought, I would’ve come up with Wyatt Earp, Wild Bill Hickok or Bat Masterson. Don’t ask me to name other famous marshals. Were there any other famous marshals?

    Today is the 228th anniversary of the creation of the U.S. Marshal Service, so I decided to marshal my resources, round up a posse, and pursue my query. Unfortunately, it wasn’t posse-ble to corral volunteers for such a questionable undertaking; I will have to go it alone. If I don’t come out of this post alive, please pray that I have gone to a better place. Philadelphia will do.

    As you may have noticed in the above clip, Mae West was mighty handy with a six-shooter….but in yesteryear’s wild and wooly West, female marshals were scarcer than beer and whiskey drinkers on the wagon in a one-horse town with two saloons — a sobering thought, indeed. Thus, it mae be necessary to put up wanted posters in order to uncover additional famous marshals (preferably female).

    Well, that didn’t take long; there WERE female marshals in the Old West. Here they be:

    https://glitternight.com/tag/female-marshals/

    That appears to be the extent of their ranks — out of hundreds of marshals/deputy marshals, only four were of the fair sex. But that seems only fair. After all, 99% of the ‘bad guys’ were just that — ‘guys’ — so why should women be charged with maintaining law and order in the Wild West when almost all of the lawbreakers were men….though it’s no stretch to assume that certain upstanding citizens weren’t above regarding certain ladies as ‘hardened’ offenders:

    As Jesus and mistermuse not often say (therefore it bares repeating):  Let he among you who is without sin cast the first stein.

    Needless to say, I’ll drink to that!

     

     
    • Carmen 6:11 am on September 24, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      “Needless to say, I’ll drink to that!”
      On this fair Sunday morning, that’s a benediction worthy of discipleship. 🙂
      (Think you’d down a Sour Toe Cocktail?).

      Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse 7:59 am on September 24, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      Sorry, I’m not a cocktailer, Carmen….but I wouldn’t be above a sweet finger-lickin’ good. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    • arekhill1 1:12 pm on September 24, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      Salud, Sr. Muse.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Don Frankel 6:55 pm on September 24, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      Muse I was trying to get the picture to copy directly but my computer doesn’t want to cooperate so this will have to be opened but least we forget Josephine Sarah Marcus aka Mrs. Wyatt Earp. And, she’s not wearing a bra here.

      http://richardelzey.com/kaloma.html

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 7:55 am on September 25, 2017 Permalink | Reply

        Very interesting, Don. That period of time in American history is unique. No doubt thousands of stories could be told.

        Like

        • Carmen 9:17 am on September 25, 2017 Permalink

          Don, that’s a fascinating story! I love the picture, too! Thanks for the share. 🙂

          Liked by 1 person

    • literaryeyes 1:11 pm on September 25, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      Calamity Jane was a wild one too, and I suspect on both sides of the law. It’s said by some historians that communities of men out West, for instance, the gold-miners, were out of control until the women came. That is, wives and no-nonsense types. Women have been a civilizing influence, but I rankle at giving them the whole burden of keeping the humanity in human beings.

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 4:09 pm on September 25, 2017 Permalink | Reply

        The Creator seems to have put superior physical strength in the wrong hands when He/She/It gave men that advantage over women. On the other hand(s), human nature being what it is, who’s to say women wouldn’t be the ones “out of control” if their positions were reversed? Nonetheless, women could hardly do a worse job than men running things over the course of recorded history, so why not?

        Like

    • barkinginthedark 12:34 am on March 30, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Fields’ “It’s A Gift” is truly a comic masterwork. continue….

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 8:21 am on March 30, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        They don’t make comic geniuses like Fields, Chaplin, Keaton, and Laurel & Hardy anymore. Today we have “stable” geniuses like Trump. It’s enough to make a groan man cry.

        Like

  • mistermuse 12:00 am on September 8, 2017 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , Borscht Belt, , Carl Reiner, , , Dancing In The Dark, , Howard Dietz, , Imogene Coca, Isaac Newton, , , , Sid Caesar, television, W. C. Fields, , Your Show of Shows   

    A LAUGH AND A SONG AND DANCE 

    If I have seen further, it is by standing on the shoulders of giants. –Sir Isaac Newton

    Comedian Sid Caesar, in his autobiography, CAESAR’S HOURS, quotes the above and adds, “I too stand on the shoulders of giants. Nobody does anything alone.”

    To me, to call Sid Caesar (born 9/8/22) a comedian is akin to calling Newton a physicist — accurate, yes, but hardly adequate. In a down-to-earth way, I might even say that what Newton was to gravity in the 1680s, Caesar was to levity in the 1950s. The bottom line is, I was in my teens then (the 1950s, not the 1680s), and still reasonably sentient at the time; thus I can bear witness to the comic genius that I, as a geezer, still see in Caesar.

    And just who were those giants on whose shoulders Caesar stood? He tells us in his book: “I always wanted to be Charlie Chaplin. He was one of my earliest comedic heroes, along with Buster Keaton, Laurel and Hardy, and W.C. Fields. Most of their comedy came from their character. They each believed in what they did, and I believed them.”

    Caesar was an up-and-coming comic performing mainly in the so-called Borscht Belt in New York’s Catskill Mountains when this opportunity arose in the infancy of network TV:

    It was called YOUR SHOW OF SHOWS, and what an innovative show it was. It premiered live on 2/25/50 with writers like Mel Brooks, Max Liebman (who also produced) and (later) Woody Allen. Said Caesar: “For nine years, I presided over what was arguably the best collection of comedy writers ever assembled in the history of television, and possibly in the history of the written word — unless you think the U.S. Constitution is funny.”

    Add co-stars Imogene Coca, Carl Reiner and Howard Morris, and the show was both a commercial and artistic success from Hour One. Here, they show you why:

    Again quoting Caesar: “Until that time, the only big things on television were bowling, wrestling and Charlie Chan. [Max Liebman] wasn’t interested in the American public’s lowest common denominator. He wasn’t going to dumb down. His goal was that the quality of the show would drive its popularity and ultimately elevate taste.”

    As Charlie Chan might say: Noble goal like chasing rainbow — beautiful while it lasts.

    • * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

    Originally, I came to this post with the idea of making it a birthday (9/8/1896) tribute to Howard Dietz, one of my favorite lyricists, whose autobiography (titled DANCING IN THE DARK) I also commend. Then I learned that Sept. 8 is the birthday of Sid Caesar as well as Howard Dietz, and I thought I GUESS I’LL HAVE TO CHANGE MY PLAN.

    Hold on — it wouldn’t be right not to dance with the dude what brung me, so rather than ditch Dietz, I’ll sing his praises here too….starting with his first big hit (above), then an excerpt from early in the book, closing with a realization of the song which titles his story.

    The following is quoted from the book’s forward by Alan Jay Lerner: As for that quality of life known as charm, I can only shrug sadly and chalk it up as another victim of that creeping nastiness called modern civilization. I think about the man whose reminiscences are contained in this book. They come to mind because of that special gift of charm that is so characteristic of his lyrics. Howard [Dietz]  is the Fred Astaire, the Chevalier, the Molnar, the Lubitsch of lyric writers.

    Dancing in the dark
    Till the tune ends
    We’re dancing in the dark
    And it soon ends
    We’re waltzing in the wonder
    Of why we’re here
    Time hurries by we’re here
    And gone

     
    • scifihammy 2:41 am on September 8, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      I don’t know Sid Caesar too well but I have seen that hilarious clock clip. 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

    • Ricardo 9:44 am on September 8, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      Your talent for bringing back things I barely remember from childhood continues unabated, Sr. Muse. My dad was a big fan of “Show of Shows.”

      Liked by 2 people

      • mistermuse 4:31 pm on September 8, 2017 Permalink | Reply

        I can still remember seeing that Bavarian Clock piece when they first did it in the early 1950s. It made such an impression on me that I still think it ranks as one of the most original and funniest skits ever done on TV….especially when you consider how ‘primitive’ television was back then.

        Liked by 1 person

    • Jay 12:17 pm on September 8, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      Hardly adequate: you’ve got that right.

      Liked by 2 people

    • mistermuse 4:39 pm on September 8, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      That makes it absolutely certain, because two rights can’t make a wrong. 😦

      Liked by 1 person

    • linnetmoss 8:40 am on September 9, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      I was a little too young for that show and then it didn’t get syndicated, or at least we didn’t see it where I lived. I only heard about Sid Caesar later, but of course I knew of Mel Brooks and Carl Reiner. Speaking of Mel Brooks, I just watched “Young Frankenstein” last night and could not stop laughing.

      Liked by 2 people

      • mistermuse 10:19 am on September 9, 2017 Permalink | Reply

        In his autobiography, Sid Caesar has some very interesting and funny things to say about Mel Brooks when Brooks was a 20-something year old CHARACTER (that’s character with a capital CHARACTER) working for YOUR SHOW OF SHOWS. I have a feeling you would enjoy the autobio (CAESAR’S HOURS) tremendously if you have time to read it (Amazon has it in both hardcover and paperback).

        Liked by 2 people

    • Mark Scheel 10:05 pm on September 9, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      Muse,

      Wow! That takes me back all right. You’ve got a great talent for bringing back the blast from the past! Thanks for the memories.

      Mark

      Liked by 2 people

    • Don Frankel 5:17 pm on September 10, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      Muse most people are familiar with Sinatra’s upbeat version of Dancing in the Dark but he also sang it like this from time to time a little slower and more poignant.

      Liked by 2 people

      • mistermuse 10:40 pm on September 10, 2017 Permalink | Reply

        Thanks, Don — I hadn’t heard this version before, and must say I prefer it to the upbeat version. I usually prefer Frank’s older & more mature voice, but in this case, I think he’s more in tune with the way the song should be sung and no doubt the way the songwriters (Dietz and Arthur Schwartz) envisioned it.

        Liked by 1 person

    • Jadi Campbell 3:02 am on September 14, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      Thanks for a grreat post! I had the incredible good luck to see Sid Cesar and Imogene Coca together on stage. They did a piece without any words and it was amazing. I knew I was watching legends at the height of their gifts. Still shake my head at the memory, all these years later.

      Liked by 2 people

      • mistermuse 7:31 am on September 14, 2017 Permalink | Reply

        That was indeed incredible good luck, Jadi — and it was an incredible pleasure to do this post, bringing back such recollections as the “Bavarian Clock” sketch which I hadn’t seen in decades.

        Thank you for sharing your memories.

        Liked by 1 person

    • restlessjo 4:38 am on September 19, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      LOVE a song and dance man 🙂 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

      • mistermuse 9:28 am on September 19, 2017 Permalink | Reply

        Song and dance men don’t come any better than Fred Astaire!
        I especially love the DANCING IN THE DARK dance with Cyd Charisse — so sensual, so effortless, so perfect.

        Liked by 1 person

    • moorezart 11:43 am on September 28, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      Reblogged this on From 1 Blogger 2 Another.

      Liked by 2 people

  • mistermuse 12:00 am on August 17, 2017 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , , Diamond Lil, , Henry Fonda, , , , , , W. C. Fields   

    EAST IS EAST AND WEST IS BEST? 

    Hat-check girl in Mae West’s first film: “Goodness, what beautiful diamonds.”
    Mae West: “Goodness had nothing to do with it, dearie.”

    • * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

    Some actors and actresses (and I don’t mean this pejoratively) basically play themselves in their films, while others are so believable and natural in varied roles and genres, they completely inhabit whatever given character they portray. An example of the latter, going back to Hollywood’s Golden Age, is Henry Fonda (if you think he played only serious parts, you haven’t seen the classic 1941 comedy, THE LADY EVE, in which he co-starred with Barbara Stanwyck — another of the most versatile players of that era).

    Mae West was of the first category, very much the Diamond Lil character she created. Today being her birthday (8/17/1893), it’s her day to sparkle:

    It has been said that “Mae West literally constituted a one-woman genre.” Basically playing herself, she was one of the country’s biggest box office draws in the 1930s, despite being almost 40 years old when offered her first movie contract (by Paramount) in 1932. Previously, she’d appeared in a number of rather risqué plays, including Diamond Lil and her first starring role on Broadway (appropriately titled Sex), which she wrote, produced and directed. As with all the plays she wrote and performed in, there was much controversy and publicity, and it was only a matter of time before Hollywood came calling.

    Her first film (see opening quote) was NIGHT AFTER NIGHT, making such an impression that co-star George Raft reportedly said, “She stole everything but the cameras.” Her next film, SHE DONE HIM WRONG (1933), featured Cary Grant in one of his first major roles, and was nominated for a Best Picture Academy Award. It was such a big moneymaker that it saved Paramount from bankruptcy in the midst of the Great Depression.

    West went on to make six more movies in the 1930s, but in 1934, the Production Code began to be strictly enforced, and censors doubled down on her double-entendres. By today’s standards, such censorship seems ludicrous, but those were moralistic times, and after her last ‘naughty’ picture for Paramount in 1937, they thought it best to terminate her contract if they knew what’s good for them. She did manage to make one more hit movie, co-starring with W. C. Fields in My Little Chickadee for Universal Pictures in 1940.

    Unbawdied and unbowed, when asked about puritanical attempts to impede her career, West wisecracked, “I believe in censorship. I made a fortune out of it.” Not for nothing was one of her nicknames “The Statue of Libido.” She died in 1980 at the age of 87.

    • * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

    Coincidentally, August 17 is also the birthday of my mother, who passed away 17 years ago. Happy Birthday, Mom — YOU WERE THE BEST.

     
    • Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, MCC, SCAC 12:25 am on August 17, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      Happy Birthday to one of my favorites – and risque she was. In the elevator, a man said to her (as she was nearest the console), “Ballroom, please.” Her reply? “Oh, I didn’t know I was crowding you.”

      I’m sure your mother was a great deal more appropriate, but I’ll bet she was just as memorable. Raise a birthday toast to her for me.

      FUN post!
      xx,
      mgh
      (Madelyn Griffith-Haynie – ADDandSoMuchMORE dot com)
      ADD/EFD Coach Training Field founder; ADD Coaching co-founder
      “It takes a village to educate a world!”

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 4:50 am on August 17, 2017 Permalink | Reply

        That’s a great quote, Madelyn — I hadn’t heard it before…. And thank you for the “memorable” thoughts concerning my mother: much deserved by her and appreciated by me.

        Liked by 1 person

        • Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, MCC, SCAC 4:53 am on August 17, 2017 Permalink

          Have you heard the one about her climbing a staircase lined with young men in one of her films? She never lifted her eyes above their belts and, at one point she paused and said, “Oh, a new one!” Outrageous always.

          You are most welcome, btw, for my comment about your mother. After all, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.
          xx,
          mgh

          Liked by 1 person

    • The Muscleheaded Blog 12:42 am on August 17, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      Outstanding tribute to Mae !

      Liked by 1 person

    • Don Frankel 7:47 am on August 17, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      Too bad she never made a movie with Groucho Marx. They wouldn’t have needed a script.

      Liked by 2 people

      • mistermuse 11:18 am on August 17, 2017 Permalink | Reply

        That would’ve been one hell of a movie, Don. Throw in Dorothy Parker (even though she never acted), and we wouldn’t have been able to ‘keep up’ with the double-entendres.

        Like

      • literaryeyes 9:31 pm on August 24, 2017 Permalink | Reply

        She wrote her own material. I bet grouch did too. Geniuses like that are rare these days.

        Liked by 1 person

        • mistermuse 11:44 pm on August 24, 2017 Permalink

          I can appreciate why you might think Groucho wrote his own stuff. However, having read several books on the Marx Brothers, the fact is that Groucho didn’t write the scripts for their movies; the Marx’s were so zany and hard to hold to script that their ad libs/antics usually took precedence over what was written for them (even though very good writers, such as George S. Kaufman and Morrie Ryskind, worked on their films).

          Like

    • moorezart 8:25 am on August 17, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      Reblogged this on From 1 Blogger 2 Another.

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 11:26 am on August 17, 2017 Permalink | Reply

        I re-thank you for another public service (or disservice, depending upon one’s point of view) on my behalf. Remind me to give you a raise if you keep this up. 😦

        Like

        • moorezart 12:07 pm on August 17, 2017 Permalink

          LOL – I find what you do most engaging. I simply can’t help myself. Even as a child I couldn’t help sharing with my friends whatever treasure I had found in my Cracker Jack’s Box.

          Liked by 1 person

        • mistermuse 10:01 pm on August 17, 2017 Permalink

          I remember Cracker Jacks well — I think they’ve been around even longer than I have, if that’s possible (not that I liked them all that much). I vaguely recall a time or two, as a boy, buying a box just for the “treasure” and throwing away the Cracker Jacks. Too bad I don’t still have the treasures — I could take them on Antiques Roadshow and find out if they’re worth thousands today. One never knows, do one?

          Like

    • Carmen 8:38 am on August 17, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      I wonder if she was the inspiration for the, “Did you get your ears lowered?” comment. I use it regularly at school and get lots of blank stares in response – from High School folk. 🙂 Once in awhile I get, “Hey! My grandparents say that!” (which gives me pause, as you would think)

      Nice post, mister, from the East ‘girl’! 😉

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 11:31 am on August 17, 2017 Permalink | Reply

        For those who aren’t familiar — make that ACQUAINTED — with Carmen, she lives on EAST-HER ISLAND, hence the last sentence of her comment. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

    • Ricardo 12:17 pm on August 17, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      Fulsome praise for the filthy-minded, Sr. Muse. We hear it so infrequently. Muchas gracias.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Carmen 2:00 pm on August 17, 2017 Permalink | Reply

        “Fulsome praise for the filthy-minded” – excellent – ha, ha! 🙂 (the mister is hesitant in replying; he’s having a hard time with a rejoinder, methinks)

        Liked by 1 person

        • mistermuse 2:24 pm on August 17, 2017 Permalink

          Carmen, contrary to unpopular belief, I don’t sit in front of my computer for hours at a time (except when I fall asleep) waiting for comments to pop up that I can shoot down….though I will admit that in the hours after I post, I wish I didn’t have to get up from my chair to go to the john every 15 minutes (just kidding, of course — and now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go see a man about a horse). 😦

          Like

        • Carmen 2:29 pm on August 17, 2017 Permalink

          Ha, ha! Well, I’ve been making Barbie clothes for several days so every time the computer dings I welcome the interruption. 🙂

          Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 2:32 pm on August 17, 2017 Permalink | Reply

        No problem, Ricardo. I’d say more, but I’m having female problems (not that Carmen isn’t well worth it — haha).

        Liked by 1 person

    • restlessjo 2:38 pm on August 17, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      Queen of the one-liners 🙂 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 4:42 pm on August 18, 2017 Permalink | Reply

        Speaking of which, here’s one of her quotes: “I’ve no time for broads who want to rule the world alone — without men, who’d do up the zipper on the back of your dress?” 🙂

        Liked by 2 people

    • literaryeyes 9:29 pm on August 24, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      I’m a Mae West fan and have been known to binge on her movies. In one she does a naughty dance that was so naughty they filmed her from the waist up! Seriously, she was a pioneer in promoting women as sexy AND intelligent. She put gays and transvestites in her plays. She didn’t do it just to shock, she did it because she believed in respect for people no matter what their sexuality or gender orientation, and especially for women.

      Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse 4:56 pm on August 25, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      Although I own a number of biographies/autobiographies of Hollywood Golden Age movie stars, I’ve never read one by or about Mae West, so I didn’t know some of what you describe. Thanks for the info.

      Like

    • Mél@nie 3:43 pm on August 28, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      Salvador Dali was also fascinated by her… she was a FREE woman – une avant-gardiste!!! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 5:02 pm on August 30, 2017 Permalink | Reply

        Indeed! Mae was both a woman of her time (1920s-early 1930s) and too much woman for highly puritanical times (from 1934 on, when rigid censorship curtailed, and subsequently ended, her freedom to make the movies she wanted to make).

        Like

    • scifihammy 3:02 pm on August 30, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      Mae West was an amazing woman! As I’m sure was your Mother too. Always nice to remember our loved ones on special days.

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 5:09 pm on August 30, 2017 Permalink | Reply

        Thank you. Personality-wise, my mother was as much the opposite of Mae as East is from West, but as they say, variety is the spice of life. Life would be very dull if everyone were the same!

        Liked by 1 person

  • mistermuse 12:00 am on April 5, 2017 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , , , , , , , , , Tina Fey, Virginia Woolf, W. C. Fields,   

    FOR YOU, MORE HUMOR 

    N’yuk-n’yuk-n’yuk! –Curly Howard, The Three Stooges

    April being NATIONAL HUMOR MONTH, I thought I’d humor you with humor-us woids of wisdom from some of my favorite humor-ists. I’d have begun with a self-sample, but thought it best to start on a higher plane — and who in comedic history soared higher than Curly when it comes to debonair comedy? So it is written that I must take second place in my own post (third, if you count comedienne Joan Rivers’ intro to my poem):

    THE DIVINE COMEDY CLUB

    Humor is God’s gift to all of us.
    –Joan Rivers

    Thank God for funny
    because seriously
    we could be
    dying out there.

    Being a comedian is a lonely occupation; you stand on the stage talking to yourself, being overheard by audiences. –Fred Allen

    Humor is merely tragedy standing on its head with its pants torn. –Irvin S. Cobb

    Humor is just another defense against the universe. –Mel Brooks

    When humor works, it works because it’s clarifying what people already feel. It has to come from someplace real. –Tina Fey

    Humor is the first of the gifts to perish in a foreign tongue. –Virginia Woolf

    Start every day off with a smile and get it over with. –W. C. Fields

    The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow; there is no humor in Heaven. –Mark Twain

    Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is. –Francis Bacon

    I don’t want to run for office; there’s already too many comedians in Washington. –Will Rogers

    Without a sense of humor, I don’t know how people make it. –Marlo Thomas

    • * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

    We close on an upbeat note from this laughing-at-life jazz great whose birthday is April 7:

     

     
    • Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, MCC, SCAC 12:13 am on April 5, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      I love Will Rogers – and his is my fav among the quotes above. I clicked here expecting funnies, but finding the quotes was even better. Thanks for sharing.
      xx,
      mgh
      (Madelyn Griffith-Haynie – ADDandSoMuchMORE dot com)
      ADD Coach Training Field founder; ADD Coaching co-founder
      “It takes a village to transform a world!”

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 7:42 am on April 5, 2017 Permalink | Reply

        Thanks for commenting, Madelyn. When searching for good quotes, it usually pays to look in Mr. Rogers’ neighborhood.

        Liked by 1 person

    • Mél@nie 3:22 am on April 5, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      MERCI, Mr Muse: you’ve made my mornin’… 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

    • linnetmoss 7:05 am on April 5, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      If there is no humor in heaven, I hope at least there is wit…

      Liked by 3 people

    • Garfield Hug 9:11 am on April 5, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      👍👍👍

      Liked by 1 person

    • arekhill1 11:15 am on April 5, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      As a dabbler in the humor field for some years now, Sr. Muse, the mystery of it to me is how nobody laughs at the same jokes. Some people love clever puns, others refuse to laugh unless they are watching an old lady being pushed down the stairs.

      Liked by 2 people

    • D. Wallace Peach 11:40 am on April 5, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      Will Rogers always cracks me up. The Twain one is pretty evocative too. Thanks for the smiles. 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

    • mistermuse 1:31 pm on April 5, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      Some of the quotes (like Twain’s) aren’t exactly humorous, but are just as pungent (such as Bacon’s). Needless to say (so why am I saying it?), I like them all. 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

    • Don Frankel 4:30 pm on April 5, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      “Look at yourself if you had a sense of humor..”

      Liked by 2 people

      • mistermuse 5:23 pm on April 5, 2017 Permalink | Reply

        Thanks for the clip, Don. Until I checked, I didn’t realize (or had forgotten) that this is a Rodgers & Hart song. In all honesty, though, Billie sounds to me like she was past her prime when she sang this. Too bad she didn’t record it when R & H wrote it back in 1937.

        Liked by 1 person

    • Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, MCC, SCAC 9:30 pm on April 8, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      FINALLY was home long enough to insert a link here from the Friday Funnies about writers.
      xx,
      mgh

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 10:59 pm on April 8, 2017 Permalink | Reply

        Thanks for the Friday Funnies link, Madelyn. I hope to get the work week off to a funny Monday start with my next post.

        Liked by 1 person

        • Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, MCC, SCAC 11:30 pm on April 8, 2017 Permalink

          I shall look forward to it – and you are most welcome for the link. Next time, drop it with your comment and I’ll move it up – meanwhile it will be there for anybody wanting a bit more humorous inspiration.
          xx,
          mgh

          Liked by 1 person

    • BroadBlogs 12:08 am on April 9, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      These are some insightful quotes on humor.

      Lately I’ve been looking at the political humor of Saturday Night Live and some of the other shows and thinking of them as court fools of old who spoke truth to power.

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 6:17 am on April 9, 2017 Permalink | Reply

        Nowadays we might think of them as speaking truth to TOWER (Trump Tower). 😦

        Like

    • Lavinia Ross 12:08 pm on April 9, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      That is a great Billie Holiday song!

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 2:43 pm on April 9, 2017 Permalink | Reply

        Agreed! Billie recorded that song (LAUGHING AT LIFE) June 1940, accompanied by such jazz greats as Teddy Wilson on piano and Lester Young on tenor sax.

        Liked by 1 person

  • mistermuse 12:01 am on April 15, 2016 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , commercialization, , , , Napoleon Bonaparte, , , , , , W. C. Fields, ,   

    HUMOR INCORPORATED 

    Humor must both teach and preach if it would live forever; by forever, I mean 30 years.
    –Mark Twain

    If Webster’s definition of humor as the “quality of imagination quick to perceive the ludicrous or express itself in an amusing way” is on the mark, Twain underestimated the staying power of his humor by nigh onto 100 years (and counting). But “staying” is just one of humor’s possible powers, and because (as Lord Acton famously observed) power tends to corrupt, humor cannot absolutely avoid Acton’s axiom.

    My musing on this subject is occasioned by April being National Humor Month — so proclaimed in 1976 by Larry Wilde, Founder/Director of The Carmel Institute of Humor: http://www.larrywilde.com/

    As you might expect, The Carmel Institute of Humor is not without serious competition. A similar entity I’ve come across is The Humor Project, Inc., founded by Joel Goodman in 1977 “as the first organization in the world to focus full-time on the positive power of humor” — a claim that suggests a merger of Norman Vincent Peale’s “The Power of Positive Thinking” with funny business. And, from such appealing funny businesses as Goodman’s, have big businesses grown (judging by their “power” promotions): https://www.humorproject.com/

    Now, far be it from me to regard the corporatizing of humor as a phony business — hey, there are worse things to make of humor than a commodity, and worse ways to earn a buck than to commercialize the process. But, purist that I am, I see making humor in the same light as making love: much to be preferred on a human level than as an industry (the virtues of consumer capitalism notwithstanding). Nonetheless, I’m not so doctrinaire as to deny either humor or sex to potential customers when free(?) enterprise comes a-courting.

    Unlike Larry Wilde and Joel Goodman, mistermuse does not have a Speaker’s Bureau, a three-day Annual Conference (discounted fee for early registration), a five-point humor program, seminars or workshops. But mistermuse does offer an every-five-days discourse on subjects of interest (his, if not yours) — usually with tongue in cheek, and never with hat in hand. Dis course today concludes with ten humorous quotes, which come with a funny-back guarantee if he doesn’t think they’re priceless:

    Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.Oscar Wilde (not to be confused with Larry – or Curly or Moe, for that matter)
    Conference: a meeting held to decide when the next meeting will take place. –Evan Esar
    You can’t study comedy; it’s within you. –Don Rickles (the Donald Trump of insult-comics)
    Start every day off with a smile and get it over with. –W.C. Fields
    Everything is funny, as long as it’s happening to somebody else. –Will Rogers
    Culture is roughly anything we do and monkeys don’t. –Lord Raglan
    In politics, an absurdity is not a handicap. –Napoleon Bonesapart (I’ve been waiting a long time for the opportunity to butcher that name)
    Politicians do more funny things naturally than I can think of doing purposely. –Will Rogers
    Humor is just another defense against the universe. –Mel Brooks
    Wit – the salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out. –Ambrose Bierce

    Over, and out.

     

     
    • Cynthia Jobin 9:52 am on April 15, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Why do some people have to ruin the best things in life by turning them into a National Month or an institution/organization of some sort? I thoroughly enjoyed this post, and being partial to the more sardonic (sarcastic? satirical?) edges of humor, was glad to see some of my favorites featured…Oscar Wilde, W.C. Fields, Ambrose Bierce, and of course, Mark Twain.
      On the distaff side, one of my favorites is Dorothy Parker. I offer this bon mot of hers when she was hanging out with her fellow wits challenging each other to compose a funny sentence using the word “horticulture”….Parker’s contribution was: “You can lead a horticulture but you can’t make her think.”

      Liked by 2 people

    • mistermuse 10:28 am on April 15, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      I love Dorothy Parker’s wit and probably should have included a Parker quote, but I’d set myself a limit of ten and liked the ten I’d chosen (plus, I think I already used that great quote before, though it certainly would’ve fit well here, and I thank you for offering it).

      To me, the quote that surprised me the most (in that I didn’t expect such profundity from the likes of Mel Brooks – what’s more, in so few words) was his “Humor is just another defense against the universe.”

      Liked by 2 people

    • D. Wallace Peach 11:03 am on April 15, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      I like the Rickles quote. Well, I like all of them, but that one has always struck me as true. I would love to be funny, but just don’t have the gene. Fortunately, we don’t have to be funny ourselves to enjoy good wit and a belly laugh 😀

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 12:13 pm on April 15, 2016 Permalink | Reply

        Fat people take heart – the bigger the belly, the more capacity to laugh! No wonder Santa Claus is so jolly! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

    • arekhill1 11:09 am on April 15, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Humor is what separates humans from animals. That, and making tools. And not being afraid of vacuum cleaners.

      Like

      • mistermuse 12:21 pm on April 15, 2016 Permalink | Reply

        Such separation is fortunate indeed, otherwise animals would be laughing themselves silly at what fools we humans be.

        Like

    • Garfield Hug 11:26 am on April 15, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Great share 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse 12:23 pm on April 15, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Share and share a like, I always say. 🙂

      Like

    • Michaeline Montezinos 8:42 pm on April 15, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      One good belly laugh extends human life by one year ( My daughter the nurse .)

      Liked by 1 person

    • Todd Duffey Writes on Things 11:21 am on April 16, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Why do witticisms always come from people at least two generations before ours? Those people were way ahead of their time…

      Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse 2:06 pm on April 16, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      As one of those people born more than two generations before this one, I thank you for the tribute. 🙂 Seriously, though, I think there still are such people – they just don’t get the recognition they did in the days before mass instant gratification “re-conditioned” us and became the norm. Wit demands at least a bit of reflection. Who does that anymore?

      Like

    • Don Frankel 11:30 am on April 17, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      “Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.” Mark Twain. My hero.

      Like

    • mistermuse 6:30 pm on April 17, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Don, I would stand corrected if I didn’t happen to agree (well, except for politicians – they’ve been withstanding the assault of laughter since most of them evolved from baboons).

      Like

    • Don Frankel 7:03 am on April 18, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      No Muse you’re right. Laughing at elected officials is actually a healthy sign of a society and poking fun is a good thing too. But when they are cooked and ushered off the stage laughter is the last thing they hear. Think Anthony Weiner here and Nixon too.

      Like

    • mistermuse 7:42 am on April 18, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Good point, Don. We in the West take our freedom to laugh at politicians for granted. Any North Korean who dared so much as think about laughing at President Kim Jung-un wouldn’t live to think again.

      Like

  • mistermuse 12:00 am on April 5, 2016 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: Billy Gilbert, , , , Grady Sutton, Hattie McDaniel, , , , , , , , W. C. Fields,   

    A PAST OF CHARACTERS 

    For some time, I’ve had it in the back of my mind to do a post on one-of-a-kind character actors from Hollywood’s Golden Age, most of them long forgotten except to old film buffs like myself. There are familiar exceptions, of course — non-starring actors who appeared in classic films which continue to be shown today, such as Margaret Hamilton (the Wicked Witch of the West in THE WIZARD OF OZ) and Peter Lorre and Sydney Greenstreet (Ugarte/Joel Cairo and the fat man, respectively, in CASABLANCA and THE MALTESE FALCON). But today I want to focus on the rule, not the well-remembered exceptions.

    It was while researching April 5th birthdays for notables born on this date (and finding the likes of Spencer Tracy, Bette Davis and Gregory Peck) that I saw among them a long forgotten character actor whose name (Grady Sutton, born 4/5/1906) rang a bell….so I decided to do such a post today and include him among those I pay tribute to. To make it a bit (player) more interesting, I’ll list six names, followed by clips (not in the same order) of scenes in which they separately appear. Can you spot one of the six in each clip?

    1. Eric Blore
    2. Margaret Dumont
    3. James Finlayson
    4. Billy Gilbert
    5. Hattie McDaniel
    6. Grady Sutton

    a. 

    b.

    c.

    d.

    e.

    f.

    How many could you identify? Hint: the names match the clips in reverse order; e.g.,
    1. Eric Blore is the British valet being “summoned” in “f.” For more on Blore, click here:
    Eric Blore: What a Character!

    2. Margaret Dumont (clip “e”) should pose no recognition problem for Marx Brothers fans. For those who aren’t Marxists, mark this: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0241669/bio

    3. James Finlayson (clip “d”) should pose no recognition problem for Laurel & Hardy fans. When you can’t imagine any other actor in his L & H roles, you know he was truly unique: http://www.wayoutwest.org/finlayson/

    4. Billy Gilbert is the man (Pettibone) in the middle in this clip (“c”) from HIS GIRL FRIDAY (1940). Like Finlayson and Dumont, another one-of-a-kinder: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0317970/

    5. Hattie McDaniel (clip “b”) plays Aunt Tempy and sings “Sooner or Later” opposite James Baskett (as Uncle Remus) in this scene from Walt Disney’s SONG OF THE SOUTH (1946). Best known role: Mammy, in GONE WITH THE WIND (1939): http://www.biography.com/people/hattie-mcdaniel-38433

    6. Grady Sutton (clip “a”) plays new assistant (Chester) to W.C. Fields in this scene from YOU CAN’T CHEAT AN HONEST MAN (1939). He was also a Fields foil in MAN ON THE FLYING TRAPEZE (1935) and THE BANK DICK (1940).

    Yes, my friends, there were great character actors in the land of make-believe in those days. If some were but “bit” players, they made their small parts singularly indispensable. We shall not see their like again.

     
    • Don Frankel 7:39 am on April 5, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      You know I was thinking Hattie McDaniel is well known. I mean she has an Academy Award and she had her own TV show… and then I realized, no I’m just old enough to remember. But these are those great actors that would pop up in all those old movies and they were very believable in all their roles.

      There’s another actor in the Billy Gilbert clip and wasn’t he the Judge in Miracle on 34th Street?

      Like

      • mistermuse 9:43 am on April 5, 2016 Permalink | Reply

        Don, you’re right about the Judge in Miracle on 34th Street being the same actor (Gene Lockhart) as the sheriff (the man with no hat) in the Billy Gilbert clip. Lockhart appeared in many films and was interesting in his own right, but Gilbert and the other guy in that clip (Clarence Kolb) steal the scene. Their fast-paced exchange, especially in the last 20 seconds or so of the clip, is hilarious.

        Like

    • arekhill1 9:22 am on April 5, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      I’ll just take my “F,” please.

      Like

      • mistermuse 10:00 am on April 5, 2016 Permalink | Reply

        In my classroom, you get an “A” just for showing up (or, if you prefer, an “a” for “arekhill1”). You also deserve an “A” for Attendance (as in perfect attendance).

        Like

    • Mél@nie 1:53 am on April 6, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      wonderful and emotional tribute to those non-starring actors of several classic films(“films-culte in French!) – we call them “personnages secondaires”(secondary roles)… they play small parts, but most of the times they’re great actors who have contributed to the success of the film…

      • * *

      I’ve seen all these movies, but I must have watched “Casablanca” 4-5 times, and I’ve never been tired of it!!! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 9:12 am on April 6, 2016 Permalink | Reply

        For those of us who either grew up with, or later came to appreciate, those old movies and the essential part the non-starring actors played in them, we know the part they have played in making our lives richer. Vive le Casablanca and all the rest! 🙂

        Like

    • linnetmoss 6:36 am on April 6, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      I love Erik Blore, whom I know from the Astaire-Rogers films. Another brilliant comic actor along these lines is Erik Rhodes (“Your wife is safe with Tonetti! He prefer spaghetti!”)

      Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse 9:21 am on April 6, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Coincidentally, I was going to include Erik Rhodes in my “cast of characters,” but decided to limit the number to six in order to keep the post to a reasonable (however arbitrary that may be) length. Rhodes was absolutely wonderful in that role, and I well remember the lines you quote!

      Like

    • RMW 11:33 pm on April 8, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      “Character” actors make a very good living without all the hassles of being “stars.” If I had another life to live that is one of the careers I think would be very satisfying to me. Would not want to be a “star” for any amount of money.

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 7:41 am on April 9, 2016 Permalink | Reply

        I agree. A few of the stars in the old days (like Greta Garbo) sought to be virtual recluses outside the studios, but I’m sure even trying to avoid the spotlight was a hassle.

        Liked by 1 person

  • mistermuse 12:01 am on February 24, 2016 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , Christopher Marlowe, , , , , Patrick Henry, , , , , , W. C. Fields, ,   

    MISTER MUSE AND MISS QUOTES 

    I have made it a rule that whenever I say something stupid, I immediately attribute it to Dr. Johnson, Marcus Aurelius or Dorothy Parker. –George Mikes, British author

    • * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

    Fellow and female Americans: In case you’re not old enough — as I am — to remember the Father of our Country, George Birthington’s washday was February 22nd. OK, I admit that after all these years, I may have a hard time recalling names and certain words correctly, but what does it matter? As Christopher Shakespeare (or was it William Marlowe) famously wrote, a ruse by any other name would smell anyway.

    Anyway, my point is that quotes may frequently get mis-attributed, but Miss Attributed couldn’t care less, so why should we? Well, I’ll tell you why — because we’re righters, that’s why, and we righters deserve credit where credit is dubious. Therefore, with the aid of my busty — I mean, trusty — aide, Miss Quotes, the objective here was to do an extensive investigation into the subjective and dig up our quota of misquotes (our quota being whenever we decided to quit) . You are now about to be the beneficiary of our research, which we bent over backwards to have ready for this post (just to make it a bit more fun, I’ll throw in a few correctly-attributed quotes; can you pick them out of the pack?):

    1. “I cannot tell a lie.” –George Washington
    2. “Give me liberty, or give me death.”  –Patrick Henry  
    3. “The British are brave people. They can face anything except reality.” –George Mikes
    4. “Anybody who hates dogs and children can’t be all bad.” –W.C. Fields
    5. “Our comedies are not to be laughed at.” –Samuel Goldwyn
    6. “I never said most of the things I said.” –Yogi Berra
    7. “Let them eat cake.” –Marie-Antoinette
    8. “There are three kinds of lies: lies, damn lies, and statistics.” –Mark Twain
    9. “Elementary, my dear Watson.” –Sherlock Holmes (in the stories of A. Conan Doyle)
    10. “I am the greatest!” –The Donald

    Here are the misattributions:

    1. The quote itself is a lie. An Anglican minister, Mason Locke, ascribed it to our first President in his pietistic biography of Washington as part of the made-up ‘Who chopped down the cherry tree’ story: “I can’t tell a lie, Pa; I did cut it with my hatchet.”
    2. Possibly another biographical fiction, though not as clear-cut as the cherry tree story. Biographer Wm. Wirt based his attribution on the memory of two Henry contemporaries. The phrase resembles a passage from CATO, a 1713 play written by Joseph Addison.
    4. Actually said by humor writer Leo Rosten in introducing Fields at a dinner.
    5. An old Hollywood gag, not said (at least originally) by Goldwyn.
    7. By all accounts, Marie-Antoinette never uttered those words. Several years before she supposedly said them, they appeared in Jean-Jacques Rousseau’s THE CONFESSIONS.
    8. Although Twain used this quote in his autobiography, he credited it to Benjamin Disraeli.
    9. Doyle never put those words in the great detective’s mouth in any of his four novels and 56 short stories about Holmes between 1887-1927.  It was actor Basil Rathbone, playing Holmes in the late 1930s-1940s, who spoke those words and made them famous.
    10. Donald Trump may think it, but it was Muhammad Ali who said it.

    As a bonus, I leave you with this quote:

     

     

     

     
    • mistermuse 12:04 am on February 24, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      NOTE: By virtue of February having less than 30 days (even in this year of the leap), my post-every-fifth-day schedule is doomed to run into “the best laid plans of mice and men” by the end of the month. Thus, my last Feb. post will be on the 29th, and I’ve opted to move this post up to Feb. 24.

      Liked by 2 people

      • Joseph Nebus 1:37 am on February 24, 2016 Permalink | Reply

        Coincidentally, the old Roman calendar treated the 24th as the leap day. That is, in a leap year, they had two days that were both what we’d call the 24th of February. This sounds confusing, but it’s honestly better than what they had before, which was to in some years stick a whole extra month in between the 24th and 25th of February.

        Anyway, point being, having a post on the 24th so that you have a post timed for Leap Day works nicely. Somehow.

        Liked by 2 people

    • Don Frankel 8:56 am on February 24, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      I knew that was Ali at the end there as I’m not only old enough to remember but I know Trump said. “It’s huge.” Which is now being pronounced as Yyyyuge. But it might get miss quoted or I might be miss quoting as Bernie Sanders also says Yyyuge as does Larry David and well most of us here in New York City.

      My favorite miss quote is General Sherman’s. “War is all hell.” He didn’t say it but when he found out he said it, he kept saying it, till he said it.

      Liked by 1 person

    • arekhill1 10:44 am on February 24, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      “When in trouble, when in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout.” That’s my favorite quote. Google can’t really tell us its origin, although some people attribute it to the neo-Nazi science fiction author Robert Heinlein.

      Liked by 2 people

    • mistermuse 11:25 am on February 24, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Don, when Trump said “It’s huge,” I thought he was referring to his ego (or the unbelievable gullibility of his followers).
      Good comment about Sherman. He certainly turned Atlanta into hell when he burned it.

      Liked by 3 people

    • mistermuse 11:33 am on February 24, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      I like the quote, Ricardo….though I must admit I haven’t heard it before and don’t know who said it. It couldn’t have been The Donald, because he’s never in doubt about anything (& wouldn’t admit it if he was).

      Liked by 2 people

    • Mél@nie 11:08 am on February 27, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      over here, in “old Europe”, we just can’t imagine the fair-wigged ignorant racist as the POTUS!!! same for ted cruz(doesn’t deserve capitals!!!)

      • * *

      oh, it seems that Marie-Antoinette never stated that sentence… it’s been invented, as the French people didn’t like “the snobbish Austrian waster”… 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

    • tomorrowdefinitely 1:51 pm on March 4, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Nice one! I especially like the quote at the top 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

    • Mark Scheel 12:40 am on June 16, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      mistermuse,
      Now that was educational. I knew only a few for certain. Makes you wonder if anybody ever really says anything! Ha.

      Mark

      Liked by 2 people

    • mistermuse 7:20 am on June 16, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      Mark, all my posts are educational — even those expose that, unlike quote #10, I’m not the greatest (just the 3rd greatest, behind The Donald and Muhammad Ali). 😦 😦 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    • dbmoviesblog 12:16 pm on August 25, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      Thought-provoking post. The number nine made me smile because most people will swear they read it in the novel haha. I kinda always hoped that people know that the quote “There are three kinds of lies: lies, damn lies, and statistics” belongs to Disraeli, and I also know that there are so many things that Marie-Antoinette allegedly said which are not just not true. The whole French Revolution seems to have a bunch of slogans and quotes which were simply made up afterwards to heighten the effect.

      Liked by 1 person

  • mistermuse 12:05 am on July 1, 2015 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: ethnic humor, French cuisine, , , , Somerset Maugham, W. C. Fields   

    NO JOKE – IT’S INTERNATIONAL JOKE DAY 

    July 1 is International Joke Day, one of those days when I get to pilfer humor from others rather than strain my brain for something original. Hence, if you find any of the following jokes offensive to your ethnicity, they’re not my jokes, so don’t shoot the messenger. Yes, I’m posting them, but the devil made me do it (just so you know who to blame). Thus pre-absolved, off we go around the world:

    What do you name a retarded Chinese baby?
    Sum Ting Wong.

    What’s the difference between an Irish wake and an Irish wedding?
    There’s one less drunk at the wake. (Or, as I would’ve said, one less Irish stewed.)

    A French chef, Monsieur H. Cuisine, tired of being a glorified cook, decided to retire and raise rabbits to sell to Paris’s finer restaurants. After searching all over the city for a place to raise his rabbits, an old priest at the cathedral agreed to rent him a small plot behind the rectory. The venture proved so successful that one restaurant owner asked where he got such tasty rabbits. Monsieur H. Cuisine smiled and replied, “I raise them myself, near the cathedral. Actually, I have a….hutch back of Notre Dame.”

    If you want to eat well in England, eat three breakfasts daily. –W. Somerset Maugham

    A New Zealander, hoping to immigrate to Australia (which was largely a British penal colony until the 1850s), was questioned by a customs officer upon arrival: “What is your business in Australia?”
    “I wish to immigrate.”
    Customs officer: “Do you have a conviction record?”
    Confused, the New Zealander answered, “I didn’t think you still needed one.”

    Why do Italian men have mustaches?
    They want to look like their mama.

    It’s almost impossible to do inventory in Afghanistan because of the tally ban.

    My next door neighbor is loud and obnoxious. Now I know how Canada feels.

    January 19th was Martin Luther King Jr. Day in America….or, as it’s known in the south, Monday.

    The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive. –W.C. Fields

     

     

     
  • mistermuse 9:54 am on March 19, 2015 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: Africa, David Livingstone, , Dr. Livingstone, Henry Stanley, , , , Stanley and Livingstone, W. C. Fields,   

    “Dr. Livingstone, I presume?” 

    The above title is one of the most famous, fascinating quotes in history. It was, of course, uttered by Sir Henry Stanley upon finding Dr. David Livingstone near Africa’s Lake Tanganyika in November, 1871, after an arduous 8 month search. If you’re not familiar with the details, here’s a refresher:

    http://www.eyewitnesstohistory.com/stanley.htm

    I bring this up because today is Livingstone’s birthday (March 19, 1813), and one can hardly imagine a more droll, understated salutation than Stanley’s under the circumstances at the time. Stanley had been sent by the New York Herald to find Livingstone, the explorer who for several years had been out of contact with the outside world and was feared lost. To say it was an adventure which captured the world’s imagination would itself be an understatement. Almost 70 years later, in 1939 (a year of epic movies, such as GUNGA DIN and GONE WITH THE WIND), the story was still powerful enough to inspire an on-location biopic titled STANLEY AND LIVINGSTONE, starring Spencer Tracy.

    As a lover of dry wit, it made me wonder what other droll quotes and witticisms are out there waiting to be discovered….so I set out in search thereof. You may presume I found the following to be the most telling (even though I don’t know who told some of them):

    I have not yet begun to procrastinate.

    You can observe a lot by just watching. -Yogi Berra

    I’m sorry, but I never apologize.

    Always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise they won’t come to yours. -Yogi Berra

    A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs help with his luggage. He says, “No, I’m traveling light.”

    The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep. -W. C. Fields

    Being able to predict the future is nothing like I thought it would be.

    You’d be surprised how much it costs to look this cheap. -Dolly Parton

    I used to think I was indecisive, but I’m not so sure now.

    Nonetheless, I think this is THE END.

     

     
    • arekhill1 10:12 am on March 19, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      In addition to “The End,” how about a link to a video of a fat lady singing, to further honor Yogi?

      Like

      • mistermuse 12:17 pm on March 19, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        Thanks for the suggestion, Ricardo, but though Yogi said “It ain’t over till it’s over,” I don’t think he said “It ain’t over till the fat lady sings” – at least, it ain’t on this clip of Yogi-isms:

        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pJ8t7fUoXGA

        Maybe I can squeeze the fat lady into a future post.

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    • ladysighs 10:56 am on March 19, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      I can’t think of any but I am reminded of some warnings on appliances etc. Something like: Do not use this chainsaw while sleeping or in the bathtub or performing some other activity.

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    • mistermuse 12:23 pm on March 19, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      I’ve come across a number of numbskull warnings like that from time to time, ladysighs. That’s another possibility for a future post.

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    • Life in the moment 11:38 pm on March 19, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Love it 😊

      Like

    • mistermuse 8:10 am on March 20, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Not just for the moment, I hope! 🙂

      Like

    • Joseph Nebus 9:45 pm on March 20, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      I had always wondered about the search for Dr Livingstone, and how Stanley went about it. My best guess was he just poked into Africa and started asking, “Hi, see any other white guys around?” And then I found out from someone who read Stanley’s memoirs that this is, in fact, more or less what he did.

      Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse 11:17 pm on March 20, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Kinda makes one wonder if Stanley would’ve found him faster if he had asked, “Hi, see any Living stones around?” Probably not. More than likely, the natives would’ve led him to a gathering of turtles.

      Like

  • mistermuse 9:21 pm on October 3, 2014 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: Charles Laughton, , films, Gary Cooper, , , , , W. C. Fields   

    ONE MORE TIME 

    A year ago today, I noted the birthday of one of my favorite directors, a man whose best films you can’t forget (unless, of course, you’ve never seen them) — even if you don’t remember who directed them. At the time, I’d just resurrected this blog after a bad experience blogging for another site, so the “theater” for that October 3rd screening was all but empty. I am therefore going to do a remake, beginning with the question, Who was that man who directed those movies, including the Marx Brothers’ DUCK SOUP? Here’s another clue: his first name is Thomas.

    OK, I doubt that last clue was helpful, as he didn’t go by Thomas. His full name was Thomas Leo McCarey, and here is a clip from DUCK SOUP (1933):

    Meanwhile, back at the ranch, here are some other goodies McCarey directed and/or wrote:

    THE COWBOY AND THE LADY (1938) – Romantic comedy starring Gary Cooper
    THE AWFUL TRUTH (1937) – Academy Award winner for Best Director
    MAKE WAY FOR TOMORROW (1937) – “One of the most exquisitely sad motion pictures ever made” -Robert Moses
    RUGGLES OF RED GAP (1935) – One of McCarey’s best comedies. Charles Laughton did it (starred as the butler)
    BELLE OF THE NINETIES (1934) – A Mae West classic, despite heavy cutting by censors
    SIX OF A KIND (1934) – Cast includes W. C. Fields, George Burns, Gracie Allen and Charles Ruggles. Need I say more?

     
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