Updates from October, 2020 Toggle Comment Threads | Keyboard Shortcuts

  • mistermuse 4:10 pm on October 7, 2020 Permalink | Reply  

    FIGURATIVELY BLEEPING 

    Speaking of bleeping: I’m a writer who delights in wordplay; far be it from me to fart around with gratuitous profanity. You may say I’m passé, but the writers I count among my favs are witty, not vulgar…. which isn’t to say that innuendo goes out the window when it floats my boat, so to speak. I’m simply more on board riding with a dry wit than with a vulgar boatman.

    But right now, I’m about to cuss up a storm because WordPress is still messing with me (and many others, no doubt), as I find myself back in block editor (from classic) every time I go to start a new post, or resume writing a post (such as this one) which I’d started the day before. So pardon me for tripping out while I have a bleeping fit: *#@*#*%*#@*@!!!!!!! Aaaaargh!

    I don’t know what more I can say along these lines….so I’ll turn to a few of those witty writers to put in their true sense worth:

    “In certain trying circumstances, urgent circumstances, desperate circumstances, profanity furnishes a relief denied even to prayer.” –Mark Twain

    “The average man has a vocabulary of 10,000 words — until he misses the nail and hammers his thumb.” –Evan Esar

    “Swearing was invented as a compromise between running away and fighting.” —Finley Peter Dunne

    “American professional athletes are bilingual: they speak English and profanity.” –Gordie Howe

    “Sacrilege or not, I want to crap.” –Aristophanes

    Now there’s a man after my own….heart. I’ve had about enough of this crap for a while, so I’m going to take a posting break for a week or two….or until I find a way to block “block” from screwing with me at every turn.

     
    • Rivergirl 4:14 pm on October 7, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      I’ve had the same problem, it’s beyond annoying. I blog from my phone now, one click and it’s back to classic. Easy peasy. With all the people complaining you’d think the WordPress gods would relent..

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 5:53 pm on October 7, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        Thanks, Rg. It’s almost enough to make me want to break out of my 20th century cell (phone) and get a 21st century smart phone. Luckily, my horse and buggy are in quarantine, so I don’t have to make any such rash decision until the 1918 flu pandemic has run its course.

        Liked by 4 people

        • Rivergirl 6:14 pm on October 7, 2020 Permalink

          Then I guess I’ll wait to tell you about this marvelous new invention that reheats your food quickly….

          Liked by 2 people

    • magickmermaid 4:43 pm on October 7, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      hehe I’ve hummed that tune when housecleaning. Curse and eat chocolate! The cure-all for annoying technology! 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

    • Catherine Haustein 5:39 pm on October 7, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      I’m not sure why they fixed something that wasn’t broken but for what it’s worth, I gave in and accepted the dreaded block

      Liked by 2 people

      • mistermuse 6:31 pm on October 7, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        NEVER! Thank goodness I’m too old of a dog to learn new tricks, because when I was younger, I didn’t have that excuse.

        Liked by 1 person

    • D. Wallace Peach 5:57 pm on October 7, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      WP just switched me over too. The quotes are great. You’ve encouraged me to partake in a little foul language. 😀

      Liked by 3 people

    • JosieHolford 7:45 pm on October 7, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Agreed. It’s an effing nightmare. And allegedly you can continue with classic with the plug-in. Not so fast. You can use Classic but you can’t do your usual Private. You can’t add tags or images in a user friendly way and the whole thing is royally messed up. One wonders whether WordPress has been taken over by tRumpists it’s so bad.

      Liked by 2 people

      • mistermuse 8:25 pm on October 7, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        I never thought of that, Josie, but you may be right. Who else but King tRrump and his tRumpists could take something that had been in working order and screw it up so royally?

        Liked by 1 person

    • obbverse 9:54 pm on October 7, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Easy to manage, say WP. The blockity blocking block has done a better job of stopping me getting back into the fray than writers block. Enjoy the time out and when you’re ready to return let nothing block your path (Sorry. Too early?)

      Liked by 3 people

      • mistermuse 12:14 am on October 8, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        At this point, I want to let some time pass before I even think about when I’ll post again. When frustrated, one can make decisions which the passage of time teaches were premature, so I’m….

        Like

    • obbverse 12:38 am on October 8, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Yep, bide it. I’m about ready to toss more tosh out into the cruel cold blogosphere. Ain’t we suckers for punishment? But do we really need the travails of blocks, WP? Enough already!

      Liked by 2 people

    • Garfield Hug 2:40 am on October 8, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      You made me laugh so hard! Sorry I do not mean to laugh at how WordPress is annoying you with blocks. But you make it sound funny and yes, you are classy!

      Liked by 2 people

    • masercot 8:37 am on October 8, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      When I hear the word “sh*t”, I see a hammer in my imagination. I blame my father…

      Liked by 3 people

      • mistermuse 12:20 pm on October 8, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        My vision isn’t as good as it used to was, so when I first read “hammer,” I thought it said “hangover”….but I don’t know that it makes much difference. 😉

        Like

    • Garfield Hug 9:42 am on October 8, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Love it! Love it! Thank you MisterMuse.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Rosaliene Bacchus 2:09 pm on October 8, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Know the way you feel. Can’t blame you. As Gordie Howe observed among American professional athletes, my father was also bilingual. The day I had the courage to ask him why he used so much profane language, he told me that it was the only language the dock workers understood. At the time, he was the person in the firm where he worked tasked with clearing imported goods at the Georgetown Port in Guyana.

      Liked by 2 people

      • mistermuse 6:09 pm on October 8, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        Very interesting. I hope the dock workers didn’t get their pay docked for using bad language. Luckily, I can’t get my pay docked for using bad puns, because I do them for nothing.(even so, I’m probably overpaid). 😉

        Liked by 2 people

    • josephurban 9:25 pm on October 8, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Ah yes, modern times. Whenever I almost master some new technology, it is “improved” by a 23 year old. Then I can learn new things all over again. I still cling to my flip phone as modern enough. Every new Windows makes me want to throw my computer out the window. Sometimes the “block” come on, sometimes it doesn’t. And sometimes after single finger typing for half an hour my pinky accidentally grazes some key and my blog disappears. Ah, yes, modern times.

      Liked by 2 people

      • mistermuse 11:20 pm on October 8, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        Joseph, those are my sentiments exactly. I’m glad WP didn’t take away the option to stay with Classic, but they might as well have, for all the complications that come up when you try to use it….and even then, the next time you go to write a new post, it has reverted back to block and you have to deal with it all over again. It’s like Classic is a sham option, otherwise it would be a straightforward, no-problems choice. AAAAAARGH!

        Liked by 1 person

    • Elizabeth 12:48 pm on October 9, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      I hope you got to watch the Garfield video above if only for the priceless quip from the scale “you are either 20 pounds overweight or 9 inches too short.” Works for me. I am able to use the new editor and finally realized that for what I need it is working fine.

      Liked by 3 people

      • mistermuse 2:37 pm on October 9, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        Love the overweight quip. Speaking of which, I went on a diet once, but I got fed up with it. And then there’s the one about the restaurant on the moon: great food, but no atmosphere. 😉

        Liked by 1 person

    • Paulie 1:34 am on October 10, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      The general consensus seems to be that nobody likes the new editor. The only thing that keeps me from bailing on WP is that I can’t imagine starting from scratch with another platform.
      My gut tells me that the block is the brainchild of a consultant. Consultants are the only people I know of who can take the lame ideas that got them fired from a previous job and pawn them off on another company at an exorbitant price.

      Like

      • mistermuse 8:11 am on October 10, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        I agree. As much as I am frustrated with WP, putting up with it seems the lesser of two evils. When a tech-challenged person like me thinks about “starting from scratch” — well, I don’t even want to think about it. As for block editor, I don’t know if it’s the brainchild of a consultant or some recently-employed ‘whiz kid(s)’ who came to WP with bright ideas but no regard for how their bright ideas will play in the world of people like us. Either way…..Aaaaaargh!

        Like

    • Ricardo 2:27 pm on October 10, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Weebly often sucks too, Sr. Muse, as Aristophanes once noted as well.

      Liked by 2 people

    • mistermuse 5:55 pm on October 10, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      I’m pretty wobbly as far as knowing much about Aristophanes, but if he lived now, I doubt he’d be one of Trump’s many suckers.

      Liked by 1 person

    • annieasksyou 11:02 am on October 11, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Aristophanes probably would have tweeted that all this technical crap is for The Birds.

      I don’t know how long I’ll get away with this, but when I open a new post, I press the plus sign, click on classic, and a block bar appears. I ignore it and go on as usual, and all has been ok. But I know I gotta learn blockblog. First, I have to finish my work defeating trump. Handwriting wordy persuasive postcards to voters every week cramps my hand and my style, so it must be doing some good!

      Liked by 3 people

    • mistermuse 1:24 am on October 12, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      I’ve been doing a little experimenting, and I’ve found that clicking “My Site” (top left) and then “Posts” on the drop down menu below “My Site” gets me to either “Add new post” or “Drafts” (of already-started new posts) with the least amount of hassle. I’m not sure if I’m in Classic or Block, but whichever it is, it seems to be something I can handle (barring complications which will probably arise just when I think all is well).

      Liked by 1 person

    • Rachel McAlpine 4:14 pm on October 12, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Your blog is a secret cafe where I eavesdrop on your crowded table and try to stifle my guffaws. Meanwhile I find Classic is one choice among many inside the block ed. and we are cautiously getting to understand each other this way. Rock on.

      Liked by 2 people

      • mistermuse 7:24 pm on October 12, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        My cafe is secret because I mistakenly got a clicker license instead of a liquor license, so I can only offer links instead of drinks. Here’s one on the house, courtesy of…..

        Liked by 1 person

        • Rachel McAlpine 7:40 pm on October 12, 2020 Permalink

          darned if I can get the link to work but I assume you sent me a margharita or anice cop of tea

          Liked by 1 person

        • mistermuse 8:32 pm on October 12, 2020 Permalink

          Sorry about that, Rachel. The link is to my SECRET AGENT MAN (theme song of one of my fav TV shows in the early 1960s). Here’s another clip of the same song — hope this one works for you.

          Like

    • Gibberish 3:35 pm on October 13, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Enjoyed the blog…but the comments section is even better I’d say😛👍

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 10:17 pm on October 13, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        I’ll take that as a compliment and a half because about half the comments are mine. 😉

        P.S. I would’ve said I’d take the comments as my better half, but my wife already claims that honor.

        Liked by 1 person

    • Gibberish 2:08 am on October 14, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Haha…well said😛😛

      Liked by 2 people

    • Carol A. Hand 10:24 pm on October 15, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      I’m not sure how long it will last, but so far I have been able to get around being forced to use the block editor. I click on WP Admin and copy my WORD document into Quick Draft, then go the the menu, choose all post and pick the one I want to edit. I have the option to use classic editor. I can keep choosing it if I want to make changes after I preview and post. I’m not sure if you have tired this… I hope this makes sense and works for you. It makes me sad to think your wit will be blocked forever!

      Liked by 2 people

    • mistermuse 12:44 am on October 16, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Thank you, Carol. In my reply to annieasksyou several comments ago, I mentioned that I’ve found a way around the issues I was having, and so far, so good..I’ve published one post since then, and am about to publish another, with no problems. Hooray!

      Liked by 2 people

    • Kally 11:49 am on October 31, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Sorry I am laughing too hard to type properly.

      Liked by 1 person

  • mistermuse 4:19 pm on September 28, 2020 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , hair styling, , , tax wrtie-offs   

    STYLING FOR DOLLARS 

    Have you heard about The Donald’s $70,000 hair-styling tax write-off, as reported in Trump’s tax return data published by The New York Times on Sept. 27? In case you missed it:

    https://www.thecut.com/2020/09/trump-taxes-trump-wrote-off-usd70-000-in-hairstyling-expenses.html

    Now, “everyone knows” (as King Donald is fond of saying about things nobody knows) that his Highness is vain, but $70,000 for hair styling? Even my Vanity Fair-reading wife would consider $70,000 a rather extravagant sum to pay for getting her hair ‘done’ (would that women were ever ‘done’ getting their hair done). Just kidding, ladies — I keep forgetting I might do the same in your place if I had hair on my head, but my head is done with hair).

    The moral of my story is that a hair in the head is worth two in the brush.

    In any case, since all is fair in love and vanity, be warned there is a caterpillar that looks like Donald Trump’s hair — and, just like Donald’s hair, contact should be avoided under pain of….well, see for yourself:

    That’s all I have to say off the top of my head. This post was brought to you as a public service announcement by the makers of Baldy’s Hair Tonic.

     
    • arekhill1 4:24 pm on September 28, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      I spend about thirty bucks a year on razor blades to shave my head, Sr. Muse. Didn’t realize until now they were deductible.

      Liked by 3 people

      • mistermuse 5:14 pm on September 28, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        With Trump, anything he claims is deductible, is deductible. Let’s hope he doesn’t deduct the cost of his lies — that alone would give him a multi-billion dollar write-off

        Like

    • Rivergirl 4:34 pm on September 28, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      I have to say I think the Donald wasted his money. $70,000 for THAT?
      🤣

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 5:29 pm on September 28, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        Some people think he wears a wig, so at least this proves it’s really his hair….but to complete
        The Look, he should wear a vanity license plate on his forehead.

        Liked by 2 people

    • Hannah Gandhi 4:40 pm on September 28, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      $70,000 for his hair?! What a selfish thing to do, that money could be used for so much more 💖

      Liked by 1 person

    • magickmermaid 4:46 pm on September 28, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      He paid so much money and his hair still looks so horrible?!?!?

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 7:06 pm on September 28, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        Horrible as the hair on his head may be, it’s not half as horrible as the megalomania inside his head.

        Like

    • calmkate 5:48 pm on September 28, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      geeze I must be highly allergic then … I get all those symptoms just hearing the dreaded name or seeing that corrupt mane!

      Liked by 2 people

    • Rosaliene Bacchus 7:56 pm on September 28, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      What vanity!!!

      Liked by 1 person

    • JosieHolford 9:15 pm on September 28, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      He is a bad parody. And soon we will be done with him. All power to the SDNY.

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 10:50 pm on September 28, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        All power to the SDNY….AND to the election watchdogs who must fight with all diligence to make sure Trump doesn’t steal the election by any means he can employ. There’s no doubt in my mind than Biden will win IF it’s a fair election.

        Liked by 2 people

    • D. Wallace Peach 11:47 pm on September 28, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Ugh. And I’m not surprised at all.

      • mistermuse 12:44 am on September 29, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        Likewise. I’m not even surprised that Trump’s base continues to support him no matter how much evidence of his corruption, lying, and disregard for the law and for the welfare of others is revealed.

        Liked by 1 person

        • D. Wallace Peach 11:02 am on September 29, 2020 Permalink

          It says something about how far apart our realities are. I think they know he’s horrible, but for some reason they think Dems are worse. I saw a sign by the road yesterday that said, “I’d rather get the virus and die than vote for a Democrat.” It’s twisted.

          Liked by 2 people

        • mistermuse 11:44 am on September 29, 2020 Permalink

          Cults aren’t about reason (or right or wrong) — they’re only about unquestioning loyalty to their leader. The cult of Trump is no exception (no matter that he would turn on any of them in a millisecond who began to think for him-or-herself).

          Like

    • Eliza 1:32 am on September 29, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      This made me laugh. Can I have the money for a down payment?

      Liked by 1 person

    • masercot 6:00 am on September 29, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Seventy thousand for THAT hair? He was overcharged.

      Like

    • Rawclyde! 4:04 am on September 30, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      I’ve always thought Nancy Pelosi’s hair was nicer than Trumps and now I know for sure…

      Liked by 2 people

    • calmkate 3:56 am on October 2, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      ouch could this be karma …

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 9:46 am on October 2, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        Trump has now tested positive for Covid 19 and has been quarantined. If that’s not KARMA, I don’t know what is.

        Liked by 1 person

        • calmkate 7:05 pm on October 2, 2020 Permalink

          exactly … I wish him no harm but could be best political move he’s ever made!
          eg the less he says the better + sympathy vote 😦

          Liked by 1 person

        • mistermuse 10:47 pm on October 2, 2020 Permalink

          I agree that the less he says the better, but I question why he should get any more symphony than he’s shown for the millions of other covid 19 victims (especially the 200.000+ of his fellow Americans who have died).

          Like

    • annieasksyou 10:11 am on October 4, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Interesting that that caterpillar is also venomous.

      Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse 11:59 am on October 4, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      The problem is that hundreds of millions more people are exposed to Trump than to the caterpillar.

      Like

    • Ashley 7:56 am on October 16, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      I couldn’t resist reading this post, even without the video! You have such a way with words. Were you ever on the stage?

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 9:05 am on October 16, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        Only for a poetry reading, Ashley…..and that was decades ago. I’m not suited to be a stand-up comic (I don’t even like to wear suits at funerals).

        It’s the writer’s life for me….
        And that’s the way it has to be.

        Liked by 1 person

  • mistermuse 8:47 am on September 19, 2020 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , election, evangelicals, , , Kamala Harris, , , , ,   

    HYPE-OH-WHAT-A-MESS 

    The following meaning comes courtesy of the ghostwriter of THE DEVIL OF A DICTIONARY, a book of definitions and proverbs by the late Ambrosius Beericus, who died adages ago but is still with us in spiritus:
    HYPE-OH-WHAT-A-MESS (not to be confused with HIPPOPOTAMUS, a thick-skinned, fat-bodied, hairless member of the genus mammalis): a cross between a hype-ochrondriac and a hypocrite, as exemplified by Donaldo Trumpotomus, a thin-skinned, fat-headed, hairbrained member of the genus ignoramus politicus.

    In other news, The President of THE NATIONAL TRIFLE ASSOCIATION, Wayne La Peeinthehair, has announced that a contribution in the trifling amount of 99 bizillion dollars and two cents has been made to the re-election campaign of Donaldo Trumpotomus because the nation cannot afford four years of sanity, competence, and integrity under Josephus Bidenopus and Camelus Would Harassus. This news was immediately applauded by the nations evangelical leaders, who believe in the separation of church and state of government led by people who don’t have faith in Jesus Televangelicus Miraculous.

    Mean-while, back at the White House, Donaldo Trumpotomus has granted an interview to that Randymous guy. Let’s listen in….

    And there you have it. Sorry, no refunds.

     
    • calmkate 9:09 am on September 19, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      lol you are the master of word play … he is a better singer than he is a comedian, pink tie not hairy hippo!

      Liked by 3 people

      • mistermuse 10:44 am on September 19, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        That isn’t one of Randy Rainbow’s better parodies, but then Trump isn’t one of our better Presidents (actually, i can’t think of a worse one, but the poor guy has had a hard life, so I feel as sorry for him as he does for those he views as losers).

        Liked by 4 people

    • magickmermaid 12:49 pm on September 19, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Hilarious! 😀

      Liked by 2 people

    • Rosaliene Bacchus 2:54 pm on September 19, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      After yet another tough week under smoke-filled skies here in Los Angeles and “ignoramus politicus,” I thank you for making me laugh out loud with your masterful word play. Randy Rainbow’s song parodies are also a delight to watch 🙂 🙂 🙂

      Liked by 3 people

    • obbverse 5:20 pm on September 19, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Redolent of Great wordplay again, MM. Sadly todays parody becomes tomorrows all too real tragedy. So if you can, vote!
      Line up, line up despite the sleet, snow or hail,
      Bypass Lousy DeJoys dysfunctional USless mail,
      Vote bright and early and let’s cast no doubt
      Lest the Postmaster General try bailing Don out.

      Liked by 5 people

      • mistermuse 6:09 pm on September 19, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        I can and will vote, probably by mail because my state has online vote tracking so I can make sure my vote has been received. With one or two exceptions, I haven’t noticed longer-than-usual mail delivery here.

        Liked by 2 people

    • Elizabeth 3:56 pm on September 20, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Bloated Cheeto. Exactly.

      Liked by 2 people

    • mistermuse 6:21 pm on September 20, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      I call him THE CHEETO CHEATER.

      Like

    • masercot 8:53 am on September 21, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Say what you like about the interviewer, you’ve got to love those specs!

      Liked by 2 people

    • literaryeyes 10:17 pm on September 21, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      I laughed at the mailbox thing in the video (I will build a hundred more).

      Liked by 4 people

      • mistermuse 12:25 am on September 22, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        I fear that Trump’s Postmaster General Louis DeJoy would remove the mailboxes as fast as Randy Rainbow can build them. Unfortunately, Louis is trying to take all De Joy out of voting by mail, and it’s up to us thwart him by removing Trump from office.

        Like

    • Carol A. Hand 9:29 pm on September 22, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      I didn’t think it was possible after days of such ongoing disheartening news, but you made me laugh, Mister Muse. Thank you!

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 11:58 pm on September 22, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        Much appreciated, Carol, but the joke will be on us if Trump is re-elected. He is by far the most devious person ever to become President, and I believe it will only be by devious means (on many fronts) that he can beat Biden…..and we know he will stop at nothing to do so.

        Liked by 1 person

        • Carol A. Hand 12:07 am on September 23, 2020 Permalink

          I agree, Mister Muse. I also fear he will stop at nothing. I saw one of the vile lie-filled fliers being mailed out to registered republican voters. The USPS mail carrier delivered it to my address by mistake (not a hopeful sign of things to come) – or maybe it was delivered here on purpose because of the Biden sign in my front yard… 😎

          Liked by 1 person

  • mistermuse 1:02 am on September 15, 2020 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , Charles Schulz, Erma Bombeck, , , , , John Lewis, , , , Saint Augustine   

    DON’T ASK 

    You Asked For It (according to my previous post) — but this post is a different story, so….

     

    By a weird coincidence, ASK ME NO QUESTIONS AND I’LL TELL YOU NO LIES (a quote attributed to 18th century Irish novelist, playwright and poet Oliver Goldsmith) is my springboard for this post of “Don’t Ask” quotes — thus sparing you the fate of my last post, which subjected you to some questionable poems.

    Let’s plunge right in with perhaps the most famous DON’T ASK quote (at least in America):

    “Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country.” –John F. Kennedy

    Here’s another famous one (in jazz circles), leveled at squares:

    “If you have to ask what jazz is, you’ll never know.” –Louis Armstrong

    If you have a humorous bone in your body, the next three should bring a smile to your face:

    “Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask, Why me? Then a voice answers, Nothing personal, your name just happened to come up.” –Charles M. Schulz

    “Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people see things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don’t have time for all that.” –George Carlin

    “When your mother asks, “Do you want a piece of advice?’, it is a mere formality. It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no. You’re going to get it anyway.” –Erma Bombeck

    Now for some serious stuff:

    “What then is time? If no one asks me, I know what it is. If I wish to explain it to him who asks, I do not know.” –Saint Augustine

    “If you ask me whether the election of Barack Obama is the fulfillment of Dr. King’s dream, I say, ‘No, it’s just a down payment.” –John Lewis

    To close, here’s a quote I like which is a stretch to fit the category, but since it’s the birthday of the author, don’t ask me to re-think its inclusion here:

    “Thinkers think and doers do. But until the thinkers do and the doers think, progress will be just another word in the already overburdened vocabulary.” –Francois de La Rochefoucauld (9/15/1613–3/17/1680)

    I think that does it for now. How’s that for progress?

     

     

     
    • rawgod 2:39 am on September 15, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      If you don’t want to know the answer, please, don’t ask the question.

      Liked by 2 people

      • mistermuse 6:51 am on September 15, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        That would seem to be the badge of honor for Trump followers: you don’t want to know the answers because he already has them all.

        Liked by 2 people

        • rawgod 7:58 am on September 15, 2020 Permalink

          Pretty much.
          I just completed a musical rewrite of an old song. I’m not publishing it yet, but if you send me an email I will let you be the first to tell me what you think of it. g-e-w-c-o-l-o-@-g-m-a-i-l-.-c-o-m. I think they call them parodies.

          Liked by 2 people

    • calmkate 2:45 am on September 15, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      lol left me scratching my head, good one … love the song with the accordion!

      Now what is jazz? and what is time?
      must be the cue for a new rhyme …

      Liked by 4 people

      • mistermuse 7:21 am on September 15, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        Lawrence Welk must be turning over in his grave at such accordion blasphemy!

        This DON’T ASK post means mistermuse needn’t address such questions….
        However & nonetheless, Kate, if in distress, I’m open to readers’ suggestions.

        Liked by 2 people

        • calmkate 7:36 am on September 15, 2020 Permalink

          Well not being one to miss opportunities … the best female jazz artists? thank Mr M

          Liked by 2 people

        • mistermuse 6:56 pm on September 16, 2020 Permalink

          Kate, when it comes to “best female jazz artists,” I’ll start with a name almost all jazz lovers agree on: ELLA FITZGERALD. The rest of my (personal opinion) list will be names you’ve probably never heard of, belonging as they do to the long-past Golden Age of Popular Music: Mildred Bailey, The Boswell Sisters, Bea Wain, Midge Williams, Helen Forrest, Ethel Waters, Martha Tilton and of course, Billie Holiday (who you probably have heard of). A bit later (but still ancient history to those under 60), Peggy Lee and Dinah Washington were probably my post-WWII favorites.

          I sure I’ve left out a few names I should include, but the above will have to do for now..

          Like

    • JosieHolford 7:18 am on September 15, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Nice haunting bit of accordion there.

      And then there’s this from Alice. B.Toklas on the last words of Gertrude Stein:
      In a letter she wrote about those last words

      “She said upon waking from a sleep—What is the question. And I didn’t answer thinking she was not completely awakened. Then she said again—What is the question and before I could speak she went on—If there is no question then there is no answer.”

      Liked by 2 people

      • mistermuse 7:47 am on September 15, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        Thanks for that thought-provoking comment, Josie. I’m thinking there is no answer, question or no question. Perhaps that’s why my favorite quote in the post is that of Charles M. Schulz (of PEANUTS fame).

        Liked by 2 people

    • Rivergirl 7:56 am on September 15, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Excellent selection. The down payment Lewis quote is sadly relevant again.

      Liked by 3 people

    • masercot 8:47 am on September 15, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      I see you’ve mastered the new interface…

      Liked by 2 people

    • arekhill1 10:36 am on September 15, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      The answer to Kennedy has been rendered simple by recent history–what you can do for your country is vote Trump and all his enablers out of office.

      Liked by 3 people

      • mistermuse 3:15 pm on September 15, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        If there’s any justice left in this world, nothing less than “out of office” and into prison will suffice (but I’ll settle for just “out of office”).

        Liked by 2 people

    • magickmermaid 10:55 am on September 15, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Love the video! And the quotes!

      Liked by 2 people

      • mistermuse 3:23 pm on September 15, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        Thanks, mm. I wasn’t looking for that video — I stumbled across it while looking for something else, so it was a ‘happy accident.’

        Liked by 2 people

    • Don Ostertag 1:39 pm on September 15, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Great quotes Another answer to Charlie Brown: Because there’s just something about you that pisses me off.

      Liked by 2 people

    • Rosaliene Bacchus 2:33 pm on September 15, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Enjoyed your post 🙂

      Liked by 3 people

    • mistermuse 9:12 am on September 16, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Thank you, my friend. 😉

      Like

    • Elizabeth 7:05 pm on September 16, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      “Ask not what you can do for your country, ask what your country can do for you,” attributed to Jared Kushner(probably apocryphal)

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 10:57 pm on September 16, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        I don’t know if Jared Kushner was quoted correctly, but we know that JFK was:

        Liked by 1 person

        • Elizabeth 12:09 pm on September 18, 2020 Permalink

          Yup. I remember that speech. I am that old.

          Liked by 1 person

        • mistermuse 3:48 pm on September 18, 2020 Permalink

          Likewise, Elizabeth. At our age, it’s like humorist Fred Allen (remember him?) once said: “I always have trouble remembering three things: faces, names, and — I can’t remember what the third thing is.”

          Like

    • annieasksyou 5:00 pm on September 18, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      I think the Jared Kushner quote was “Ask not what your country can do for you because it’s not your country; it belongs to us.”

      I found the video chilling but enjoyable.

      The John Lewis quote made me teary.

      A very thought-provoking post, mistermuse! And a VERY belated happy birthday to your friend Francois (I’m too lazy to type his full name, but I’m pondering his thought).

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 7:21 pm on September 18, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        I think the John Lewis quote is even more chilling (than the video) in the context of the Trump presidency, because Trump is doing his best to take back the “down payment.”

        Like

  • mistermuse 1:05 am on September 10, 2020 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , , , , Peter Pan, , , , ,   

    YOU ASKED FOR IT! YOU GOT IT! 

    My last post featured poetry which one of you commented that you wanted more of. So, it is by popular demand (who am I to deny my adoring readers?) that my Fats friend and I are bound to reply:

    The initials of that reader are mm. No, mistermuse isn’t the mm who asked for more. If you must know, it was magicmermaid, who I assume is a real person (not that mistermuse isn’t real — as real, at least, as magicmermaid….or as you, for that matter). You are real, aren’t you? — if not, just pretend you are, because mistermuse can use the reassurance.

    THE FAUX PAS OF POSITIVE THINKING

    “Doubt is not a pleasant mental state, but certainty is a ridiculous one.” –Voltaire

    I can live with
    Uncertainty and doubt —
    It’s know-it-alls
    I have my doubts about.

    THE PETER PRINCIPLE

    “I am not young enough to know everything.” –Sir James M. Barrie (author of the play subtitled The Boy Who Wouldn’t Grow Up)

    Sorry that things didn’t quite Pan out
    (except in Neverland….or thereabout).

    HOW TO BETTER CULTIVATE KNOWLEDGE

    “Scholars esteem knowledge not for its use in attaining other values, but as a value in itself.” –Max Eastman

    Know,
    Weigh,

    Hoe
    Say.

    KNOW PROBLEM

    “If reality wants to get in touch, it knows where I am.” –Phil Proctor

    But if reality says,
    “Hello there, it’s me” —
    How would you know
    Absent a show of real ID?

     

     

     

     

     

     

     
    • Notes To Ponder 2:14 am on September 10, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Most excellent. 🙂

      Liked by 3 people

    • obbverse 3:03 am on September 10, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Enjoyed the wordplay muchly. May I add an offering on Peter Pan?
      See Ya Late-
      Pity poor pre-adolescent Peter Pan,
      Never fated to become a full grown man-
      Sadly remembered as a smart-mouthed juvenile,
      NOW he’d say ‘kids, don’t ever bait the crocodile.”

      Liked by 2 people

    • Rivergirl 7:15 am on September 10, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      “I’m not young enough to know everything” is a wonderful quote!

      Liked by 3 people

    • magickmermaid 10:34 am on September 10, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Thanks, MisterMuse! I wish everyone would follow my suggestions so readily. 😀
      Yet another reason why I don’t have a webcam. All and sundry would have seen me hopping around the livingroom to the Fats Waller tune! If he can’t make you dance, no one will!

      Liked by 4 people

    • Rosaliene Bacchus 3:13 pm on September 10, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Love them all, MisterMuse, especially “The Faux Pas of Positive Thinking” 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

      • mistermuse 3:36 pm on September 10, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        Likewise, Rosaliene. I was kind of partial to “Know Weigh Hose Say”….but when José say “No way!”, I changed my mind.

        Liked by 1 person

    • annieasksyou 11:11 pm on September 10, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      When magickmermaid, the Siren
      Called mistermuse to play
      The result was a fun environ
      So, “yes way,” I say.

      Liked by 3 people

      • mistermuse 12:47 am on September 11, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        I didn’t know you’re a poet —
        Or should I say, a poetess.,,,
        But any way you weigh it,
        You’re no damsel in distress.

        Liked by 1 person

    • calmkate 2:14 am on September 11, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      very clever … I’m sure I’ve asked for more overtime … guess I dont have the magic touch!

      Liked by 1 person

    • Elizabeth 4:56 pm on September 12, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      I am not sure if I like the first one best or not. Better not be sure!

      Liked by 2 people

    • mistermuse 6:09 pm on September 12, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      I’m not sure how to respond to that, Elizabeth — but I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt. 😉

      Like

    • masercot 8:45 am on September 14, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      The outcome is most obscure
      unless I’m sure

      When my confidence is at its height
      I probably haven’t done anything right…

      Liked by 2 people

    • mistermuse 11:42 am on September 14, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Compared to Trump,
      you’re ahead of the game —
      he NEVER does anything right
      and he’s never ever to blame.

      Liked by 1 person

    • arekhill1 10:32 am on September 15, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      If there ever was a year that reality got in touch, it’s this one, Sr. Muse.

      Liked by 2 people

    • mistermuse 3:49 pm on September 15, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      I fear the worst of the year is yet to come after Nov. 3, no matter the election results.

      Like

    • Ana Daksina 11:41 pm on October 5, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Really is as really does, so I’m really glad I’m not really sure that I’m real. But here’s some reassurance anyway, for ya: “There, there, dear…” 🤤

      Liked by 1 person

  • mistermuse 1:01 am on September 5, 2020 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: groundhog, , , platitudes, , , ,   

    FOR THE TIME BEING 

    It’s been some time since I laid some poetry on you, but all good things must end (i.e., your luck has run out). What I’m getting at is, I’ve decided to resurrect a few old poems, as well as come up with a new one or two. If you object, you have the right to remain Soylent* because….

    *Soylent: foodstuff made of soybeans and lentils

    A POEM OF EXCEPTIONAL TASTE

    Soybeans and lentils — what a treat!
    I can think of nothing I’d rather eat!*
    Just savor the flavor — they can’t be beat*….
    But then, I’m a groundhog, so I don’t eat meat.

    *except for watermelon: https://riversworld.live/2020/09/04/summer-means-watermelon/

    I’LL TAKE A BRAINCHECK

    “The difference between intelligence and wisdom is that intelligence is knowing half of what you hear or read is garbage, and wisdom is knowing which half.” –Seymour Fisher

    From dilemmas of that class,
    You’ll have to exempt me —
    I’m still stuck on “Is the glass
    Half full or half empty?”

    WISE-ASS PLATITUDES

    Utmost is the wisdom of the platitude —
    But most, sadly, are lacking in latitude.
    Is there never need for deviance?
    I think I shall file a grieviance!
    The grounds? Let’s just say they have an ATTITUDE.

    LONG TIME, NO SEE

    Youth is the stuff of time and place
    The race of years cannot erase,
    Seen through eyes too unwise to see
    That all was not what it seemed to be.

    Age is the stuff of hedging bets,
    Of things undone and old regrets,
    Seeing ourselves as others do,
    Thinking “And so, what else is new?”

     

     
    • blindzanygirl 1:17 am on September 5, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Brilliant. I love ‘em

      Liked by 5 people

    • calmkate 2:48 am on September 5, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      give me lentils and soybeans any day … love SFs quote, says it all!
      Like the clip 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

      • mistermuse 6:56 am on September 5, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        That’s not the first time I’ve used that song. Here’s the clip of I DON’T CARE (sung by Judy Garland) in a post from Jan. 2019:

        Liked by 2 people

    • rawgod 4:03 am on September 5, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      • Just curious, was the soylent green? or just silent?

      And might I suggest ATTITUDE with an ATTTITTUDDE, dude?

      Liked by 2 people

      • mistermuse 7:17 am on September 5, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        Maybe this answers your first question:

        Your second question is a bit of a stretch, in my HUMBLE opinion.

        Like

    • Rivergirl 7:05 am on September 5, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Ode to a woodchuck?
      Love it!

      Liked by 2 people

      • rawgod 9:38 am on September 5, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        Actually, Owed to a Woodchuck! But as usual for non-humans, the woodchuck never got the royalties…

        Liked by 1 person

        • mistermuse 10:00 am on September 5, 2020 Permalink

          Rivergirl did share her watermelon with the woodchucks, to whom I’m sure watermelon in the paws is worth royalties in the bush.

          Like

    • Rivergirl 7:13 am on September 5, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Immortalized in poem?
      The woodchucks are honored.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Eliza 5:35 pm on September 5, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      This made me smile
      I like the definition of wisdom…

      Liked by 2 people

    • magickmermaid 6:19 pm on September 5, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      One of the worst films I’ve ever seen was that terrible one called Soylent Green.
      I didn’t know I had a theme song. 🙂
      More poetry, please!

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 6:56 pm on September 5, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        “More poetry”? You talked me into it, mm — more poetry coming up (but I won’t say how soon, as I don’t want to lose any readers who haven’t recovered from this post yet).

        As for your “theme song,” here’s an alternative in case you want to upgrade from I DON’T CARE:

        Like

    • arekhill1 4:39 pm on September 6, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Nicely written, Sr. Muse.

      Liked by 2 people

      • mistermuse 6:19 pm on September 6, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        Gracias, Ricardo. As the lyrics of the above song say, “I should care — and I do.”

        Like

    • Ana Daksina 1:41 pm on September 15, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      I have no grieviance with this work!

      PS — The reader who wants “more poetry” is a keeper

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 4:11 pm on September 15, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        Thanks, Ana. Actually, all my readers (including you) are keepers….and even though I enjoy my job as a “you” keeper and get well paid in Likes and Comments, I wouldn’t object to an occasional cash bonus! 😉

        Liked by 1 person

        • Ana Daksina 9:17 pm on September 15, 2020 Permalink

          You’d have no greviance with it? 🤣

          Liked by 1 person

        • mistermuse 10:09 pm on September 15, 2020 Permalink

          If by “it”, you mean my previous comment, I do have second thoughts, in that (unlike “grieviance” in the WISE-ASS PLATITUDES poem in the post) it didn’t come off as well as I intended. Even so, I won’t turn down an “additional cash bonus” for trying.

          Like

    • masercot 11:47 am on September 16, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      That first one had Rivergirl written all over it…

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 12:34 pm on September 16, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        You got that ‘write’ — her SUMMER MEANS WATERMELON post of Sept. 4 was my ‘inspiration’ for the first poem.

        Like

  • mistermuse 9:45 pm on August 28, 2020 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: A.A. Milne, , , Clifford Odets, , , , Jack Warner, movie memories, , , , ,   

    IT’S ABOUT A QUOTER TO NINE 

    Several days ago, one of my readers said she’s partial to humorous quotes, so I’ve been thinking about spending a whole lot of time thinking about devoting a post to things others have said which are funnier than what I say….but after searching high (brow) and low (brow), eye gave up. See what I mean?

    Ha ha! Just kidding. Believe it or not, I was able to find nine selections funnier-than-mine (well, maybe somewhat funnier), though I’m sure I would’ve said them first if I’d thought of them first. Some of the nine guys & gals I’m about to quote said what they said before I was even born, thus taking unfair advantage of circumstances beyond my control. But this is my blog, so as a quoter of quotes, I at least get to determine the subject matter of the quotes I quote, and the quotes I’ve chosen to quote are quotes about quotes….and I quote:

    “A quotation is a handy thing to have about, saving one the trouble of thinking for oneself – always a laborious business.” –A. A. Milne

    “I googled the quote ‘Power means not having to respond.’ Nothing happened.” –John Alejandro King [what “Power means” sounds like something Trump might say, except nothing Trump says is worth quoting]

    “Quotation: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.” –Ambrose Bierce

    “There are two kinds of marriages: where a husband quotes the wife, and where the wife quotes the husband.” –Clifford Odets

    “You can tell a really wonderful quote by the fact that it’s attributed to a whole raft of wits.” –Anna Quindlen

    “I have made it a rule that whenever I say something stupid, I immediately attribute it to Dr. Johnson, Marcus Aurelius or Dorothy Parker.” –George Mikes

    “That woman speaks eighteen languages and can’t say ‘No’ in any of them.” –Dorothy Parker

    “You can always depend on children to quote you correctly, especially when it’s something you shouldn’t have said.” –Evan Esar

    “I can’t see what Jack Warner [Warner Bros. movie mogul] can do with an Oscar – it can’t say Yes.” –Al Jolson

    :

     
    • calmkate 2:05 am on August 29, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      I must remind myself not to eat whilst reading your posts … I nearly choked to death!

      Those women look far more sexy in those slinky dresses than most gals these days in next to nothing!

      … see you at 8.30, I don’t want to miss anything 😉

      Liked by 2 people

      • mistermuse 9:00 am on August 29, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        I’m kind of partial to “next to nothing” (especially when I’m next to my wife when she’s wearing nothing), Kate — not that I have anything against sexy women in slinky dresses. 😉

        As for “see you at 8:30,” I don’t know what time zone you’re in, but in 45 minutes it’ll be 12 hours since I posted this post (note the time at the top of this post). Can you guess my time zone?

        Liked by 1 person

        • calmkate 10:14 am on August 29, 2020 Permalink

          no idea, I though the states?

          Liked by 1 person

        • mistermuse 11:41 am on August 29, 2020 Permalink

          Eastern Standard (Eastern Daylight) time.
          BTW, I neglected to apologize for causing you to nearly choke to death. That would’ve been hard for me to swallow, knowing that my puns are killers (I thought the worst they might do is make some readers ill).

          Like

    • rawgod 3:32 am on August 29, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      I can agree with phrase one of this quote, “There are two kinds of marriages: where a husband quotes the wife, and where the wife quotes the husband.” –Clifford Odets, but my take on the rest of it is, “those that end indivorce, or those that end in death.” Which is your preference?

      As for the A.A. Milne quote, I can truthfully say my fafourite person to quote is myself. That way, if I misquote myself, it is not a misquote, but merely a change of time.

      Liked by 2 people

      • mistermuse 9:28 am on August 29, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        I’ll have to take a paincheck on choosing between those two alternatives, as I’ve never experienced either one.(though I suspect that avoiding the second would prove more difficult).

        I can’t disagree about your favorite person to quote, although I sometimes wonder if I was myself when I said what I said (in which case, the George Mikes quote might prove useful).

        Like

        • rawgod 11:40 am on August 29, 2020 Permalink

          Say it, own it, live with the consequences. It’s not really that hard.
          The main thing is be true to yourself. Say what you mean, mean what you say (maybe you can tell me who first said that?).
          If someone midreads you, or misinterprets you, that is beyond your control.
          The hard part is using sarcasm. You are purposely writing to mislead to make a point. Many readers, unfortunately including myself, miss sarcasm. We read it straight up. Then where do we go? My above quote about marrige/death/divorce is full of sarcasm, but can still be read straight up. Ooooohhh, wny do we write in the first place?
          Because we have to!

          Liked by 1 person

        • mistermuse 12:57 pm on August 29, 2020 Permalink

          I Don’t Know WHO FIRST SAID THAT — but I do know Who’s on first and I Don’t Know is on third….not to mention What’s on second. If you ask the name of the shortstop, I Don’t Give a Damn. The rest of That routine, I don’t remember. The rest of your comment: Thumb’s up!

          Like

        • rawgod 2:06 am on September 4, 2020 Permalink

          Funny, but Bud and Lou never once mentioned the right fielders’ name. Here is a good example, https://youtu.be/4t4PzWSLhqQ of them at their greatest. BTW, I know who is in right field, but I made them a promise never to reveal his name, so, I can’t tell ya.

          Liked by 1 person

        • mistermuse 7:46 am on September 4, 2020 Permalink

          Something tells me the right fielder’s name is Lefty. I hope Lefty’s right, or Something’s in big trouble!

          Like

    • Rivergirl 8:09 am on August 29, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Quotes about quotes … very circular, that. And you can’t beat Dorothy Parker!

      Liked by 3 people

      • mistermuse 9:32 am on August 29, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        Agreed! If it weren’t for the fact that I’d be dead by now, I would love to have been within earshot of the Algonquin Round Table when Dorothy and her fellow wits had at each other.

        Liked by 1 person

    • tubularsock 1:33 pm on August 29, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Tubularsock has always found that a quotable quote carries no risk. So where’s the fun in that?
      Great post.

      Cheers.

      Liked by 5 people

      • mistermuse 3:23 pm on August 29, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        With some quotes, there’s the risk of an insight which may cause a reader to THINK (if he or she can stand the strain)….but granted, “where’s the fun in that?”
        Whatever the case, thanks for the “Great post” compliment, which is fun (for me, at any rate) to quote.

        Liked by 2 people

    • Susan 2:24 pm on August 29, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Good selection!

      Liked by 4 people

    • arekhill1 2:38 pm on August 29, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      “There are no stupid questions, just stupid people asking questions everybody else already knows the answer to.”

      Liked by 4 people

      • mistermuse 3:27 pm on August 29, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        ,,,,and then there’s Trump, who never asks questions, which is why he’s stupid (or, more accurately, ignorant).

        Like

    • Eliza 2:20 am on August 30, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      💕 Number 3 and 8 made me giggle.
      Thank you………….

      Liked by 3 people

      • mistermuse 8:49 am on August 30, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        Number 3 is from Ambrose Bierce’s THE DEVIL’S DICTIONARY, which is definitely funnier than Webster’s Dictionary (although it’s much less ‘weighty’ than Webster’s….and takes up less room on the bookshelf too). 😉

        Liked by 1 person

    • magickmermaid 12:02 pm on August 30, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      I was surprised that Lauren Bacall wasn’t in the video. Funny quotes! I think your own writing is extremely funny. (You may quote me.) 😀

      Liked by 2 people

      • mistermuse 6:11 pm on August 30, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        Thanks, mm. I have to be funny as long as Trump is King — I mean, President — otherwise, I’d lose my sanity (and if Trump is any example of what becomes of a man, I certainly don’t want to lose my sanity).

        Liked by 1 person

    • Elizabeth 4:47 pm on August 30, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Can I quote you on that?

      Liked by 3 people

    • masercot 9:57 am on September 1, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      So, quotes about quotes?

      Shame on you!

      Liked by 2 people

      • mistermuse 2:19 pm on September 1, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        It would be shame on me if I quoted Trump (& his supporters’) quotes about quotes, but I will only stoop so low.

        Liked by 1 person

    • Marietta Rodgers 11:35 am on September 2, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      You can absolutely depend on children repeating something you shouldn’t have said and constantly forgetting the things you want them to remember.

      Liked by 2 people

      • mistermuse 2:58 pm on September 2, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        Very true. The first part of your comment is reflected in a number of DENNIS THE MENACE cartoons (still appearing every day in the local newspaper) which show Dennis repeating discomfiting things his father or mother had said about people (now, in their presence). As for forgetting things, I find that to be more manifest in old age — at least, I personally DON’T REMEMBER it being a problem as a child!

        Liked by 2 people

  • mistermuse 1:01 am on August 25, 2020 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , epithets, , , , , name calling, nicknames, , ,   

    DON THE DISAGREEABLE (A tRump Roast for the Ages) 

    Today is the birthday of IVAN THE TERRIBLE (Aug. 25, 1530-March 28, 1584). For those of you who weren’t around back then and may not remember how terrible he was, here’s a refresher:

    Which brings us to DON THE DISAGREEABLE, aka Donald Trump. For those who believe DISAGREEABLE doesn’t begin to do justice to Don’s place in posteriority, I would’ve titled this post DON THE DOUCHEBAG or DON THE DUCK-BILLED FATTYPUSS….but then I might be accused of gratuitous name-calling, which would be odiously unbecoming of an obviously objective observer of the Pres — a worthy calling indeed, coming, as it does, from he who any follower of this blog can vouch for; (s)he who disagrees is obviously a fatuous fart-face.

    So the only fair way to do justice to Don’s legacy is to limit ignominious epithets to those names he has called others — particularly in view of the penchant he has for labeling many of them what he is himself. Examples of such may be found among this compilation of takes-one-to-know-one insults (object of insult(s) in parenthesis):

    JEFF BOZO (Jeff Bezos)
    CHEATIN’ OBAMA (Barack Obama)
    PUNCHY (Robert De Niro)
    MORNING PSYCHO (Joe Scarborough)
    SLIMEBALL (James Comey)
    WACKY AND DERANGED OMAROSA (Omarosa Manigault Newman)

    FAT JERRY (Jerry Nadler)
    LITTLE MARCO (Marco Rubio)
    POCAHONTAS/THE INDIAN (Elizabeth Warren)
    DUMMY BETO (Beto O’Rourke)
    SHIFTY SCHIFF/ADAM SCHITT (Adam Schiff)
    CUTIE PIE (Jonathan Karl)

    CRAZY/CROOKED HILLARY (Hillary Clinton)
    CRAZY/NERVOUS NANCY (Nancy Pelosi)
    CRAZY/SLEEPY JOE (Joe Biden)
    CRAZY BERNIE/BASICALLY BRAINDEAD BERNIE (Bernie Sanders)
    CRAZY ARNOLD (Arnold Schwarzenegger)
    CRAZY MEGYN (Megyn Kelly)

    As you can see, you don’t have to be CRAZY to make Trump’s wanton list….but it helps.

     

     

     

     

     

     
    • Rivergirl 8:12 am on August 25, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      I can’t even. We tried to watch some of the Republican convention last night, just to be fair. We tried.

      Liked by 4 people

      • mistermuse 9:16 am on August 25, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        Trump takes advantage of those who try to be fair, because that’s what bullies do. Biden and Harris mustn’t take any guff from Trump, but they also need to not let Trump’s insults become a distraction because that would be playing into his hands. Talk about a balancing act!

        Liked by 1 person

    • masercot 8:45 am on August 25, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Those were some crazy people.

      Oh me, oh MY!

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 9:27 am on August 25, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        They ain’t got nothin’ on Trump, but at least their craziness didn’t hurt anyone but themselves (though the little dancing gal didn’t hurt herself, and she was a riot!).

        Liked by 1 person

    • mlrover 9:13 am on August 25, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Where do you find this stuff? So fascinating! And that’s some fine singing. The craziness is a distraction from their excellence.

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 9:33 am on August 25, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        The Boswell Sisters were the finest girl singing group of their era….or, arguably, any era, in my opinion. I’m glad you appreciate them!

        Like

    • Don Ostertag 12:08 pm on August 25, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      That person really acts like a 6 year od with his stupid name calling. He must have really been a bully back in school.

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 12:48 pm on August 25, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        From what I’ve read, Trump is”‘his father’s son” — or, as another old saying has it, “Like father, like son.” All I can say is that millions of American voters must like bullies.

        Like

    • D. Wallace Peach 1:12 pm on August 25, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Ugh. I tried to watch the Republican “convention” last night and just couldn’t take all the fear-mongering. I guess I’m going to join a mob and wipe out a suburban neighborhood this winter. Or I’m going to turn my neighbor’s kids into drug-using communists. I turned it off after ten minutes. 🙂
      Here’s to peace, kindness, and truth – may it ultimately prevail.

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 4:31 pm on August 25, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        Diana, if you do plan to join a mob or turn your neighbor’s kids into drub-using communists, I suggest you make a big fat donation to Trump’s re-election campaign and publicly kiss his butt. That will surely get you a Presidential pardon if you’re arrested (unless he’s not re-elected, in which case I never heard of you and you’re on your own). 😉

        Liked by 1 person

    • JosieHolford 3:59 pm on August 25, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Don the Dotard works well too. (Best thing to ever come out of North Korea.)

      Or Don the Demented, Deranged, Disturbed, Dangerous, Disturbed, Depraved, Disgusting, Dirty and yes Deplorable.

      So many dire choices.

      Liked by 2 people

      • mistermuse 4:46 pm on August 25, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        All delicious choices, Josie. Or, how about a non-D name to go along with IVAN THE TERRIBLE: DONALD THE UNBEARABLE

        Liked by 1 person

    • magickmermaid 4:56 pm on August 25, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Hilarious videos! 😀 A so-called adult who behaves like a petulant child bully should be sitting in the corner wearing a dunce cap; not occupying the corner office.

      Liked by 2 people

      • mistermuse 5:42 pm on August 25, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        Actually he belongs in prison….but I’ll settle for the corner wearing a dunce cap, if the corner is in a cave on another planet.

        Liked by 1 person

    • magickmermaid 6:10 pm on August 25, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Al Capone went to prison for tax evasion. So maybe all is not lost if his tax returns are investigated.

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 7:12 pm on August 25, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        Thankfully, (as i understand it) possible tax evasion is being investigated by the State of New York. If it were a federal case, Trump’s Attorney General, Wm. Barr, would see to it that Trump gets away with it.

        Liked by 1 person

    • Elizabeth 4:16 pm on August 26, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      I think “nasty” is in competition for his favorite attack word. At least for women. As for that newsreel–those weight loss machines look x-rated!

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 5:15 pm on August 26, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        Trump called Kamala Harris “nasty” almost as soon as Biden named her his VP choice, and it has indeed become one of his favorite attack words (most, if not all, of the epithets listed in my post are not as recent). As for that “x-rated” weight loss segment: please spread the word, Elizabeth, so that more people may be enticed to check out this post and my blog. 😉

        Liked by 1 person

    • annieasksyou 3:28 pm on August 27, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Don the Despicable works for me. Glad you brought some fun to this ugliness.

      I so wish Biden would listen to Tom Friedman, who suggested Biden should agree to debate ONLY if trump releases his tax returns first AND there’s an on-site fact-checker.

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 10:55 pm on August 27, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        I’d especially like to see the debates contingent upon an on-site fact checker. Although Biden wouldn’t have a problem with it, but I’m sure Trump would refuse and probably call the idea part of a socialist conspiracy against him. That’s what despots like Trump do when they’re afraid of the truth.

        Like

    • Marietta Rodgers 5:42 pm on August 27, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      I tried to watch a little of the RNC but I kept having to hurl in a bucket.

      Liked by 3 people

  • mistermuse 1:01 am on August 18, 2020 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: Don Redman, , Jo Trent, Lazy Weather, luxury, Peter DeRose, relaxation, , Thomas More,   

    RELAX REDUX / IN THE LAP OF LUX 

    After my last post (“RELAX”), the title of a possible sequel (“RELAX REDUX”) came to me….however, further inspiration waned, leaving me a title in search of a post. But fear not. We artistes are too artiste-tic to give up a half-asinine idea without a fight….and, in time, a way forward hit me: if RELAX REDUX became the asinine half of a whole post, the whole post would be half-asinine if the second half of the whole were also half-asinine. In other words, the second half of the whole must be better than half-asinine, or the whole post is half-asinine.

    In short, to half or not to half — that was the question. The answer came to me when I asked myself what can be logically paired with relaxation to buttress a less asinine whole, and I answered myself: luxury, that’s what. Hence I appoint IN THE LAP OF LUX to serve as my better half….whether my wife likes it or not.

    So, Weather* you’re weady or not, it’s time to welax — er, RELAX. That’s half the battle.

    *LAZY WEATHER was one of a number of songs written by white composer Peter DeRose and black lyricist Jo Trent in the late 1920s (a time when such bi-racial collaboration was almost unheard of)

    * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

    Now on to IN THE LAP OF LUX:

    “Living in the lap of luxury isn’t bad, except that you never know when luxury is going to stand up.” –Orson Welles

    “If your neighbor has it, a luxury immediately becomes a necessity.” –Evan Esar

    “The older I get, the more I realize that the ultimate luxury is time.” –Michael Kars

    “Someone loving you back with all they’ve got is perhaps the greatest luxury of this rotten modern times, when lovers are easy but love is rare.” –Nitya Prakash

    “Contentment is natural wealth; luxury [is] artificial poverty.” –Socrates

    “Authentic luxury flourishes in the untying of self-worth from popular opinion.” –Ann Brasco

    “Utility is when you have one telephone, luxury is when you have two, opulence is when you have three — and paradise is when you have none.” –Doug Larson

    “It is only to the happy that tears are a luxury.” –Thomas More

    So….

     

     

     

     

     

     
    • calmkate 2:12 am on August 18, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      great quotes and love the music … the last is even this century, most unusual 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

      • mistermuse 2:44 am on August 18, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        That song is actually late 20th century, but still more recent than most of the music clips I post. In any case, who could “Don’t Worry Be Happy” as long as Trump is President!!!!

        Liked by 1 person

        • calmkate 5:18 am on August 18, 2020 Permalink

          well at least you are trying to stay more upbeat despite the current disaster!

          Liked by 1 person

    • equipsblog 9:34 am on August 18, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Punultimate luxe-out.

      Liked by 2 people

    • D. Wallace Peach 11:24 am on August 18, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Great song!
      Awesome quotes too. 🙂
      Thanks for starting my day with a smile.

      Liked by 3 people

      • mistermuse 12:06 pm on August 18, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        Tbanks, Diana. I didn’t think I’d find that many great quotes about luxury, so you might say it turned out to be an unexpected luxury of riches.

        Liked by 1 person

    • annieasksyou 11:55 am on August 18, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      I like your artiste tic! A fine affliction. But it sounded as though you were settling into your wife’s lap, so I hope the weight difference isn’t too deluxe ( in ad-speak).

      The a capella arrangement was great, though there were times when the burden of singing seemed to outweigh the ability to look happy. Not to stereotype, but all these guys look alike. Was this a tricky solotet (solo quartet)— or was it just my aging eyes?

      Liked by 2 people

      • mistermuse 12:28 pm on August 18, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        Actually, it might be a bigger deal if my wife sat on my lap — but let’s keep that to ourselves, shall we?

        After playing that A Cappella clip again, I can’t answer your question definitively, but I don’t think they’re all the same guy. I used another video by the same group (or guy) in a post months ago, but I don’t remember which one, or I’d check it out.

        Liked by 1 person

    • Don Ostertag 2:32 pm on August 18, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Great quotes and music. To Kars, “The older I get, the more I realize that the ultimate luxury is time”, I would like to add ‘and health’

      Liked by 2 people

    • Rosaliene Bacchus 2:45 pm on August 18, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Enjoyed the musical clip by Cappella. Amazing how we can use technology today to clone ourselves! Randy Rainbow uses the technique to great effect in his song parodies.

      Liked by 4 people

      • mistermuse 4:12 pm on August 18, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        Indeed. i would use technology to clone myself but I inflict enough suffering as it is.

        Love Randy Rainbow. They should play one of his song parodies of Trump ‘virtually’ every night of the Democratic convention.

        Liked by 1 person

    • Elizabeth 8:18 pm on August 20, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      I was delighted by the video and more so with the Randy Rainbow “Gee, Dr. Fauci,” sung to Officer Krupke from West Side Story.

      Liked by 2 people

  • mistermuse 1:02 am on August 15, 2020 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , , , Leon Redbone, Relax, Relaxation Day, Take It Easy,   

    RELAX 

    Today being RELAXATION DAY, I’m of a mind to put as little effort into this post as possible. Now that I think of it, I should probably stop right here….but then, how could I relax, knowing I’d short-changed my countless faithful followers. After all, our President never ceases to model being a ‘word’-class genius, so who am I to act less nobly than he — am I not duty-bound to follow his lead, even if I have to hold my nose? Of course snot.

    In any case, let us proceed….to RELAX:

    Well, that looked more like an example of do as they sing, not as they do. Here’s something a bit more in the spirit of the day:

    Now that we’ve boned up on how to properly relax, we can truly….

    But just in case you’re still not at ease with taking it easy today, I suggest that this demonstration of the lotus position warts — I mean, warrants — serious consideration (if you’re so inclined):

    https://quotesgram.com/img/funny-quotes-about-relaxing/2098415/

    Now that’s what I call a croaker who knows how to croak — I mean,       relax     .

     
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