Tomorrow being the birthday (June 24, 1842) of DEVIL’S DICTIONARY lexicographer AMBROSE BIERCE, I thought I’d peruse perforce his pernicious perversion of delicious definitions and post a savory sampling of selections for your edification and enjoyment. Seriously.
For those who aren’t familiar with this deviously devilish dictionary, here’s the lowdown:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Devil%27s_Dictionary
With that introduction the hell out of the way, what say we delay no further….starting with Bierce’s definition of Introduction, n. A social ceremony invented by the devil for the gratification of his servants and the plaguing of his enemies. [It] attains its most malevolent development in this country being, indeed, closely related to our political system.
Abasement, n. A decent and customary mental attitude in the presence of wealth or power.
Aborigines, n. Persons of little worth found cumbering the soil of a newly discovered country. They soon cease to cumber; they fertilize.
Accomplice, n. One associated with another in a crime, having guilty knowledge and complicity, as an attorney who defends a criminal, knowing him guilty. This view of the attorney’s position in the matter has not hitherto commanded the assent of attorneys, no one having offered them a fee for assenting.
Air, n. A nutritious substance supplied by a bountiful Provider for the fattening of the poor.
Arena, n. In politics, an imaginary rat-pit in which the statesman wrestles with his record.
Bait, n. A preparation that renders the hook more palatable. The best kind is beauty.
Brain, n. An apparatus with which we think that we think.
Cannon, n. An instrument employed in the rectification of national boundaries.
Conservative, n. A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal, who wishes to replace them with others.
Corporation, n. An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility.
Cynic, n. A blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be. Hence the custom among the Scythians of plucking out a cynic’s eyes to improve his vision.
Now that you’ve learned the ABCs of it, I commend continuing through the D through Zs of it by virtue of going to The Devil’s Dictionary….preferably by honest means, like online or at your local bookstore. If you dare ask me to procure a copy for you, don’t say “The devil made me do it.” I’m not buying it.
Printer Drivers 2:00 pm on July 2, 2022 Permalink |
Forgotten days have often happened, I also often forget
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Ashley 2:23 pm on July 2, 2022 Permalink |
I’d forgotten about the Waikiki. Thanks for reminding me! Now where was I? 🤔
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mistermuse 3:02 pm on July 2, 2022 Permalink |
I don’t know where you are, but you probably wish you were on the beach at Waikiki. 😀
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The Coastal Crone 4:25 pm on July 2, 2022 Permalink |
Every day is I Forgot Day for me! Thanks for reminding me.
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mistermuse 6:06 pm on July 2, 2022 Permalink |
When I was a boy many, many moons ago, my mother would say to me, “You’d forget your head if it wasn’t attached to your shoulders.” If she were still alive, she’d probably think I had ‘the memory of an elephant’ compared to now.
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JosieHolford 5:19 pm on July 2, 2022 Permalink |
Really enjoyed the “Gloves”. Had to play it twice.
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mistermuse 6:13 pm on July 2, 2022 Permalink |
I’m especially glad that you like that song, Josie, because it’s a favorite of mine…right up there with the best that Cole Porter, Irving Berlin, and other great songwriters of that era wrote.
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magickmermaid 5:24 pm on July 2, 2022 Permalink |
I saw this post in my mailbox this morning but I forgot to read/listen to it until now. 😉 I like these songs and hopefully I won’t forget them!
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mistermuse 6:19 pm on July 2, 2022 Permalink |
I was going to say something really clever in response, mm, but I forget what it was. Maybe it’s just as well, because you might have been so impressed that you’d remember it and forget the songs! 😉
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Rivergirl 7:37 pm on July 2, 2022 Permalink |
I’d like to post a comment, but I forgot what I wanted to say.
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mistermuse 8:51 pm on July 2, 2022 Permalink |
I think you wanted to say that this post is sheer genius — or maybe it was sheer disingenuous (my mind-reading powers aren’t at their sharpest due to the distance between us). 😉
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Rivergirl 7:48 am on July 3, 2022 Permalink
Yes. That must have been it…
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Kara Aharon 8:00 pm on July 2, 2022 Permalink |
What a bummer for anyone whose birthday or anniversary is July 2nd!
I think you recently posted “I Rememeber it Well” but that also would have been a nice addition.
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mistermuse 8:58 pm on July 2, 2022 Permalink |
Actress Lindsay Lohan was born on this day, so she has a good excuse if she forgets her lines. 😀
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Lynette d'Arty-Cross 10:10 pm on July 2, 2022 Permalink |
I never knew about I Forgot Day, but since I forget a lot of things, maybe I forgot about it.
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mistermuse 12:43 am on July 3, 2022 Permalink |
Be thankful you don’t have a memory like an elephant, Lynette, because who wants a trunk attached to their face to keep their memories in? 😀
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Don Ostertag 11:52 am on July 3, 2022 Permalink |
High on the list of my forgotten songs is ‘I Forgot To Remember To Forget’.
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mistermuse 3:23 pm on July 3, 2022 Permalink |
Irving Berlin’s I FORGOT TO REMEMBER is one of the songs I thought about (but decided against) including in this post The song high on your list is, I’m sure, well known to those who suffer from PTSD or anyone (including me) who’d like to forget unhappy memories.
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