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  • mistermuse 12:00 am on May 12, 2020 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , , , Immanuel Kant, Karl Marx, Machiavelli, , , , , satire, ,   

    PHILOSPHER STONED 

    If there’s one thing I think we can all agree on about Donald Trump, it’s that he isn’t a philosopher. If, however, he can be said to have one guiding precept remotely resembling a philosophy, it has to be IT’S ALL ABOUT ME….or, secondarily, DON’T BLAME ME (which happens to be the title of a song I was going to link here until — faster than you can say Niccollo Machiavelli — Google removed share, embed & copy from their music clips, leaving technologically-challenged mistermuse at a loss as to how to post them).

    Be that as it may, I got to thinking that if THE DONALD were a lit-wit (rather than a nitwit) who wished to appear philosophical, there must be any number of wise philosophical quotes he might plagiarize to his greater glory (or, if he were stoned, learn from). Here are some I drug up which could fill the (Duck’s) bill:

    There is nothing so absurd that it cannot be believed if repeated often enough. — William James, American philosopher

    Philosophy teaches us to bear with equanimity the misfortunes of others. –Oscar Wilde, Irish wit, poet and playwright

    Any man can be a philosopher if he only thinks enough about his own foolishness. –Edgar Watson Howe, American novelist and editor

    Philosophers have only interpreted the world. The point, however, is to change it. –Karl Marx, German philosopher, political theorist and socialist revolutionary

    If I killed everyone who was stupid, I wouldn’t have time to sleep. –Tamora Pierce, American fantasy fiction writer

    Wise men speak because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something. –Plato, Greek philosopher

    Always recognize that human individuals are ends, and do not use them as means to your end. — Immanuel Kant, German philosopher

    Philosophers before Kant had a tremendous advantage over philosophers after Kant, in that they didn’t have to spend years studying Kant.  –Bertrand Russell, British philosopher, writer and social critic

    Only one philosopher in history had a perfect alibi for doing nothing, and his name was I. Kant. –Evan Esar, American humorist

     
  • mistermuse 12:04 am on May 6, 2020 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , satire, , stable genius,   

    THE INDISPENSABLE (OLD) MAN 

    “It’s possible there will be some [deaths as a result of reopening the country now].” –President Donald Trump in response to ABC’s David Muir on May 5, 2020.

    • * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

    In 1963, President John F. Kennedy proclaimed May as Senior Citizens Month (changed in 1965 to OLDER AMERICANS MONTH). Judging by Trump’s desperation to get the economy humming again before the election — and before the Covid-19 danger (especially to our most vulnerable citizens) is well under control — May seems destined to become Expendable Older Americans Month.

    I dare say that, although Trump may consider his fellow senior Americans like Joe Biden, mistermuse, and (perhaps) you expendable, he doesn’t see himself in that category. After all, the country can ill afford to lose a stable genius at a time like this — or at any other time (such as November 3, 2020, for example).

    Now, I hate to be the bearer of bad tidings to The Indispensable Man, but it’s just minutely possible that he may lose the upcoming election despite his stable pomposity — er, geniosity. However, in the unlikely event that that happens, His Stable Highness can take consolation in the fact that, like the rest of us put-out-to-pasture patriarchs, he can still be King (Emeritus) of his castle:

     
    • blindzanygirl 12:13 am on May 6, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Yep. Same here. Our lot want to get rid of us.

      Liked by 2 people

    • Rebecca Wallick 12:31 am on May 6, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Thank you, I needed that laugh, old man. You the man!

      Liked by 3 people

    • calmkate 1:10 am on May 6, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      brilliant clip … you the man, coz he sure ain’t!

      Liked by 3 people

      • mistermuse 7:46 am on May 6, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        I may be de man, but de wife demands to wear de pants in de family….which I let her do, because when I want to be de boss, I put on de dress.

        Liked by 2 people

        • calmkate 8:07 am on May 6, 2020 Permalink

          lol ah what an unattractive visual, thank heavens I’ve eaten or it may have been regurgitated! What colour do you prefer? Lace or buttons?

          Liked by 1 person

        • mistermuse 11:34 am on May 6, 2020 Permalink

          I prefer see-through on my wife, so I see myself in the same fashion, Kate. As for lace or buttons, I’m a zipper man because it’s easier to open on the fly.

          Like

        • annieasksyou 10:29 pm on May 7, 2020 Permalink

          I didn’t expect to be laughing at the end of the grim truism you started with. This was just right!—and your comment above is de-lightful!

          Liked by 1 person

    • obbverse 1:57 am on May 6, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Here it is,in a nutshell. Wealth over health, every damned time. ‘Its possible there may more deaths thanks to opening up the ‘conomy.’ Fatuous shrugged.

      Liked by 4 people

      • mistermuse 7:50 am on May 6, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        The GOP has been the party of wealth over health since Warren Harding was President….and to think, it was once the party of Lincoln.

        Liked by 2 people

    • Rivergirl 9:13 am on May 6, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      His lack of empathy shouldn’t surprise us. He was playing Live and Let Die at the Arizona I love me trip yesterday.
      🤨

      Liked by 2 people

    • magickmermaid 11:30 am on May 6, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Love the video! 😀 The poor and the elderly are merely collateral damage in the orange one’s war.

      Liked by 2 people

    • Yeah, Another Blogger 11:30 am on May 6, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      I never get tired of saying this: Donnie’s the worst.

      Liked by 2 people

    • Rosaliene Bacchus 2:43 pm on May 6, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Thanks for lifting my spirits with those two video clips.

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 5:45 pm on May 6, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        You’re very welcome, Rosaliene….but did you have to say there could be worse presidents yet to come? God forbid! You just ruined my day. 😉

        Liked by 1 person

    • Elizabeth 6:15 pm on May 6, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      That is the perfect video to go along with the Trumpster.

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 10:06 pm on May 6, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        Let’s hope voters throw the Trumpster in the dumpster on November 3.

        Liked by 1 person

        • Elizabeth 5:03 pm on May 7, 2020 Permalink

          Thank you for appropriately linking Trumpster and dumpster for me. I think on a subconscious lever they were linked, but it took your comment to make it explicit.

          Liked by 1 person

    • arekhill1 1:58 pm on May 7, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      You can’t bullshit a virus, Sr. Muse. Even a Bullshit Terminator (a thin layer of human skin covering a mound of bullshit) like Trump can’t. Stay safe.

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 7:16 pm on May 7, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        You do the same, Ricardo.

        P.S. I hear that Trump’s personal valet has just been diagnosed with Covid-19. Wouldn’t it be fitting if the thin-skinned bullshitter, who won’t social-distance or wear a mask because it would detract from his appearance, caught the virus from his valet? In any case, I’ve got news for the Pres — a mask is about the only thing that might IMPROVE his appearance.

        Like

  • mistermuse 12:00 am on March 15, 2020 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , Carole Lombard, , , , , , , , , , , , , , satire, , , , , Yoko Ono   

    BEWARE THE BRIDES OF MARCH 

    March 15 being THE IDES OF MARCH (but still winter), I thought I’d work on a post I’d call THE BRRRR-IDES OF MARCH — however, it hasn’t been very winter-like where I live, so it’s no weather for snow jobs. Thus I’ll settle for a post about The Brides of March, of whom there have been some blushing ones, some gushing ones, some rushing ones, and a mother lode of if-at-first-you-don’t-succeed-try-try-again ones….such as singing star Peggy Lee, whose marriage to jazz guitarist Dave Barbour was her first of four such gigs.

    Here are twenty March brides who gave it the old collage (French for to stick together) try, listed by March wedding day (along with the names of the grooms, just for the wreck of it):

    March 1, 1968   JUNE CARTER / Johnny Cash
    March 8, 1952   NANCY DAVIS / Ronald Reagan
    March 8, 1943   PEGGY LEE / Dave Barbour
    March 9, 1796   JOSÉPHINE de BEAUHARNAIS / Napoléon Bonaparte
    March 13, 1946 MARY WELSH / Ernest Hemingway

    March 15, 1964 ELIZABETH TAYLOR / Richard Burton (again)
    March 16, 2002 LIZA MINNELLI / David Gest
    March 17, 1905 ELEANOR ROOSEVELT / Franklin D. Roosevelt
    March 18, 1869 HARRIET TUBMAN / Nelson Davis
    March 19, 1918 DAISY PARKER / Louis Armstrong (who recorded this song 3/2/1932):

    March 20, 1969 YOKO ONO / John Lennon
    March 21, 1945 LAUREN BACALL / Humphrey Bogart
    March 21, 1963 BARBRA STREISAND / Elliott Gould
    March 21, 1984 SARAH BRIGHTMAN / Andrew Lloyd Webber
    March 23, 1985 CHRISTIE BRINKLEY / Billy Joel

    March 24, 1950 INGRID BERGMAN / Roberto Rossellini
    March 27, 1916 GLORIA SWANSON / Wallace Beery
    March 28, 1920 MARY PICKFORD / Douglas Fairbanks
    March 28, 1939 CAROLE LOMBARD / Clark Gable
    March 28, 1957 BILLIE HOLIDAY (LADY DAY) / Louis McKay

    All but three of those ladies married multiple times, and one of the three (Daisy Parker) died soon after her divorce from Louis Armstrong. Lost passion being the fashion, this quote seems a fitting way to call it a day:

    “I guess the only way to stop divorce is to stop marriage.” –Will Rogers

    So ladies, this be your day to be given away. Gents, beware the BRIDES OF MARCH (apologies to Shakespeare) — not to mention, pity your poor (after the divorce) befuddled comrades-in-arms who married them.

     

     

     

     

     
    • calmkate 12:46 am on March 15, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      lol I think some women like the white wedding bit but can’t quite engage in the marriage commitment thing! I took Will’s advice and avoided the whole darned thing … a barrister friend took me to divorce court and that was it 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

      • mistermuse 1:07 am on March 15, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        Frankly, it sounds like you could render your gender’s version of Sinatra’s I DID IT MY WAY in grand style, Kate. 😉

        Liked by 1 person

    • obbverse 12:56 am on March 15, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      First ring out the wedding bells then all too soon ring the lawyer. Happily ever nah-ah.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Rivergirl 9:05 am on March 15, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Ha! Love it.
      Although Liz Taylor probably hit every month. She was a busy bride.
      😉

      Liked by 1 person

    • Ashley 9:44 am on March 15, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Great post! However, in just a week’s time it will be the Spring Equinox (20th March), the halfway point of spring!

      Liked by 1 person

    • linnetmoss 10:17 am on March 15, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      What an amazing list of brides! The ones that caught my eye were June Carter, Yoko Ono, and of course the immortal Liz. But she is in a category by herself as a bride.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Don Ostertag 3:13 pm on March 15, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Very clever post,

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 3:29 pm on March 15, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        Thanks, Don. Nonetheless, I’m not showing it to my wife, because I don’t want to give her any ideas. Who would cook my meals if she divorced me?

        Liked by 2 people

    • Moushmi Radhanpara 10:01 am on March 16, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Oh, you gave me a good laugh 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    • tubularsock 2:23 pm on March 16, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Now, now, now. It works two ways.
      So, if you first don’t succeed, try, try, try again.

      But usually one should marry “up” each time because after the first divorce you usually have nothing left!

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 5:26 pm on March 16, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        “Divorce is a legal separation when a man stops bringing the money home to his wife and starts mailing it.” –Evan Esar
        In that scenario, a man would have to marry WAY up because, unless the next wife is independently wealthy, he’d probably still have to send her his money after the second divorce. 😉

        Like

    • mlrover 11:21 am on March 18, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      I never planned to marry again after divorcing the first one, who was and is a horrible person. There was no resisting my second marriage, and even with all its ups, downs, and difficulties, it was wonderful. The “Second Time Around” turned out to be true for me.

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 12:13 pm on March 18, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        Liked by 1 person

        • mlrover 7:44 am on March 19, 2020 Permalink

          Thank you. It was Frankie’s rendition that came to mind. And my “.second time” happened on St. Patty’s Day. And we married in March. Forgot to mention that.

          Like

    • arekhill1 1:56 pm on March 18, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Just missed being a March groom myself, Sr. Muse. Married on my birthday, April 12th. Bride insisted on the date so I would remember our wedding anniversary. Only had to remember it once, though.

      Liked by 2 people

    • mistermuse 6:02 pm on March 18, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      At least you can be thankful your birthday isn’t on April 1st, Ricardo — you don’t need that kind of reminder every April Fools Day. 😉

      Like

    • Rebecca Wallick 8:53 pm on March 18, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Great post!
      Thankfully I got my starter marriage out of the way between the ages of 18-20.
      I then went to college and law school. I became a divorce lawyer.
      Oh, the horrors. No more marriages for me!
      Just wish I’d known of the Will Rogers quote when I was still practicing law. I would have turned it into a big sign to hang in my office. Maybe some of my clients would have resisted walking down the aisle a second (or third) time. Maybe, but probably not.
      I did appreciate the repeat business 😉

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 9:41 pm on March 18, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        I like your term “starter marriage,” Rebecca. Wouldn’t it be great if, like a starter home, you could sell it when you ‘outgrow’ it and use the proceeds to acquire a better fit for your current needs?

        Hmmm. “Maybe, but probably not.” 😉

        Like

    • Bryntin 4:49 pm on March 19, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Hello, I’m not commenting on your post exactly, just letting you know I visited here – and so might others who hadn’t before now – on my latest BLT (Blog Leap Tour). You may see a pingback link if you want to see how it went.
      Anyway, sorry to intrude.
      Carry on… 🙂

      Like

      • mistermuse 6:06 pm on March 19, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        I was about to “carry on” (recalling the old British “Carry On…” film series) when I noticed a follow-up Bryntin comment (something about a virus) which gave me pause. I’m therefore refraining from approving the second comment pending clarification, as I’m not presently in the mood for a virus…even of the “carry on” kind.

        Like

        • Bryntin 6:09 pm on March 19, 2020 Permalink

          Ah, that was probably in the text of my post and carried into the link… and of course at the moment a lot of posts encompass the word ‘virus’. Sorry to give you the squeaky bottom but I am real and safe as far as I know… as far as any of us knows even.

          Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 10:04 pm on March 19, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        As you can see, your “carry on” has now passed inspection — but my post is under quarantine, along with everyone who has been in contact with it since 4:49 pm today, until further notice (or until that certain everyone sends my inspection fee — preferably sanitized — whichever comes first). 😉

        Like

    • equipsblog 8:53 am on March 28, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Very clever post. Maybe next you can actually riff you way through the Brrrr-ides of March.

      Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse 12:17 pm on March 28, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      My bride and I tied the knot in the month of September, so I’m not rife for a riff (or a raff, for that matter) through the Brrr-ides of March….but since we’re heading from March into April, here’s a jazzman’s riff on the transition:

      Like

  • mistermuse 12:08 am on February 16, 2020 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: A Night at the Opera. Duck Soup, , , , satire, ,   

    A NIGHT AT THE (SOAP) OPERA – Act IV 

    As the curtain rises on Act IV, we pick up where we left off in Act III:

    We’ve come at long last to the denouement (aka the point in the presentation where it’s time to wrap up the plot before the popcorn runs out): Fiorello and Tomasso abduct and gag lead tenor Alasprairie during the onstage uproar and take him to a site out of sight, where he’s fit to be tied. Gottliebchen is in a bind: a replacement tenor is needed to quiet the affronted audience, as well as those seated in the rear. Ricardo Macaroni happens to be handy. Gottliebchen gives in. Ricardo and the lovely Rosa Grossa sing an aria. The audience is enthralled. Miraculously, everything has worked out in….

    THE END?

    But as we all know, it’s not the end until the fat lady sings — a requisite which is unaccountably missing in this opera. Fortunately for our fannies, the fat lady who doesn’t sing in this opera did sing to end this earlier opera, which will serve our purpose here:

    Now that’s what I call leaving on borrowed time.

     

     
    • mlrover 8:58 am on February 16, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      I love that they aimed the fruit over her head. My favorite was always when Harpo played.

      Liked by 2 people

      • mistermuse 10:56 am on February 16, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        Harpo’s playing always provided just the right balance of “catch-our-breath” between what would otherwise have been non-stop zaniness — not to mention that his playing was excellent in itself.

        Liked by 1 person

      • tubularsock 1:50 pm on February 16, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        Tubularsock loved that as well and found it interesting how she showed such confidence they’d miss. Wonder how many times they had to run through that without a mistake hit.

        Liked by 2 people

        • mistermuse 9:23 pm on February 16, 2020 Permalink

          They did hit their initial target (Trentino) several times without noticeable effect before turning their attention to her, so I suspect that the “fruit” was made of something relatively soft (I was going to say foam rubber, but I checked and found that foam rubber wasn’t invented until 1937 — 3 years after DUCK SOUP was filmed). In any case, it does look like they missed her on purpose.

          Liked by 1 person

    • magickmermaid 6:17 pm on February 16, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      The Marx Brothers were unequaled! Still just as funny today. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 9:43 pm on February 16, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        Absolutely! And A NIGHT AT THE OPERA lends itself perfectly to being satirized like a soap opera. I can’t think of another film which could as easily “inspire” the writing of these posts.

        Liked by 1 person

    • masercot 8:22 am on February 17, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Just leave out the sanity clause next time…

      Liked by 1 person

    • JosieHolford 8:45 pm on February 18, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Not for nothing they were known as comic genius.

      Liked by 1 person

    • barkinginthedark 10:26 pm on February 19, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      love the Marx bros…the first Beatles. continue…

      Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse 12:58 am on February 20, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      I guess you could make that comparison, though I’ve never thought of the Beatles’ films in that way before.

      Like

  • mistermuse 12:00 am on February 15, 2020 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , , satire,   

    A NIGHT AT THE (SOAP) OPERA – Act III 

    When last we met, leaving our three stowaways on the good ship Lollipoop, Tomasso had cut the beards off of three Russian aviators, and he, Fiorello and Ricardo had assumed their identities….or so you were left to assume. But you don’t have to take my word for it….

    Having escaped from the speakers’ platform outside City Hall with plainclothes detective Henderson in pursuit, the stowaways and Driftwort take refuge in a nearby hotel, where they have a flat and retire. In the a.m., they have room service send up their breakfast.

    Just when you thought the opening night of the opera season would never arrive, it does….and so does Driftwort, only to learn that he has been fired by Missis Playpool for associating with riffraff (how riffraff got into the act, I’ll never know). Not to be denied, Driftwort (together with Tomasso and Fiorello) goes to Gottliebchen’s office, locks him in a closet, replaces Gottliebchen as Missis Playpool’s escort, and delivers the opening night address, which is the same as the day address, but not as easy to see:

    Is there no end to this madness? For the answer to that question, you will have to return for Act IV. Until then….

     
    • calmkate 5:34 am on February 15, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      thanks for finally revealing why my father would Never let us watch the Marx Bros … but I enjoyed a good giggle. They are obviously cousins to Abbott and Costello 😎

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 7:39 am on February 15, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        You’re welcome, Kate. A & C’s heyday started when the Marx Brothers’ best years ended in the 1940s. A & C may have been the ‘successors’ to the Marxes, though in my opinion, their films didn’t reach the level of madcap originality and wit of the Marx Brothers. But all due credit to A & C for one of the classic routines of all time, WHO’S ON FIRST?

        Liked by 2 people

    • masercot 9:23 am on February 15, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      I’ve repeated Chico’s story of crossing the Atlantic to people just for the blank stares I get.

      “We getta close… a maybe a three feet… and what dya think, we run outta gas and we gotta go back…”

      Liked by 2 people

    • Ashley 9:39 am on February 15, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Crazy, crazy, crazy! Only the Marx Brothers could get away with such idiocy! It’s good to laugh just for the hell of it!

      Liked by 1 person

    • barkinginthedark 3:00 am on March 24, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      ‘O for the lyrics and lyricists of yore.
      They don’t make too many like them anymore
      Since ol’ Yip and Porter and Brecht
      Said adieu
      The clever and worldly are far ‘tween and few.

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 11:50 am on March 24, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        You’re not a bad “lyricist” yourself — though setting your lyrics to music might stand no more than a “Ghost Of A Chance” (a 1933 hit composed by Victor Young, lyrics by Ned Washington)! 😉

        Like

    • barkinginthedark 9:54 pm on March 24, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      i almost forgot what a terrific crooner Der Bingle was. thanks MM. continue…

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 10:29 pm on March 24, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        I love the early Crosby’s voice. After about 1935, he gradually changed from being the emotional crooner of that 1933 clip to being, in my opinion, a less appealing and more commercially oriented (for lack of a better term) singer — still good, but not “terrific.” I own many recordings from both stages of his career, and the difference is obvious.

        Like

  • mistermuse 7:39 pm on February 13, 2020 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , Allan Jones, , Kitty Carlisle, satire,   

    A NIGHT AT THE (SOAP) OPERA – Act II 

    SCENE: A ship sailing from Wherever to New Yurt
    TIME:   A day or two after Whenever
    CAST:   The usual suspects (same characters as Act I)

    As the curtain opens on Act II, we find Opus E. Driftwort, Missis Playpool, Hermano Gottliebchen, renowned tenor Rodolpho Alasprairie, and beautiful soprano Rosa Grossa, who has been selected as the leading lady, onboard the good ship Lollipoop (which was pirated from an earlier opera set in the deep South titled BRAT EYES, starring Surly Temper as the leading child). The ship is about to depart for New Yurt, where the famous New Yurt Opera House is believed to be located.

    Sadly, tenor Ricardo Macaroni (Allan Jonesboro), who is in love with Rosa (and her with he), is being left behind on the dock, leading to this heart-breaking parting of the ways:

    Shortly thereafter, Driftwort enters his cabin and proceeds with the tusk of opening his trunk, only to find it packed with hungry stowaways Fiorello and Tomasso Marxista and Macaroni.

    Later, following much more merrymaking, music, and muddled madness, the stowaways are caught and confined to quarters for a change. Fiorello subsequently tires of listening to Tomasso’s kazoo and tosses it out the porthole. Tomasso leaps after it into the ocean, from which a lifeline lifts him into the stateroom of three bearded Russian aviators taking a nap. Tomasso then takes to his scissors, leaving three Russian aviators beardless and three stowaways becoming bearded Russian aviators Chicoski, Harpotski and Baronoff.

    Bear with us — we’re off until Act III.

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     
    • Yeah, Another Blogger 11:43 pm on February 13, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      This is complicated!

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 12:24 am on February 14, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        If you’ve never seen the movie A NIGHT AT THE OPERA (1935), I don’t blame you for finding this hard to follow. I’ve seen it probably half a dozen times over the years, and it hardly makes sense to me — but then, it’s the Marx Brothers, so it’s not supposed to make sense. Chaos reigns in all their films, especially in their two best films, A NIGHT AT THE OPERA and DUCK SOUP.

        BTW, for the benefit of those who aren’t old time movie buffs, the reference (in the first paragraph) to BRAT EYES starring Surly Temper, is wordplay on the 1934 film BRIGHT EYES starring Shirley Temple. If any of my readers made that connection, I salute you (but don’t call me Shirley).

        Liked by 1 person

    • masercot 8:10 am on February 14, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      “Would you like your nails long or short?”

      “Better make it short, it’s getting pretty crowded in here”

      Liked by 1 person

    • magickmermaid 12:32 pm on February 14, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      HAHAHA! I’m enjoying this new Night at the Opera! 😀

      Liked by 1 person

    • Silver Screenings 7:15 pm on February 23, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Haha – I love that scene in the crowded cabin. It never gets old.

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 7:47 pm on February 23, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        That scene and the “sanity clause” scene are my favorites in A NIGHT AT THE OPERA — two classic scenes in a classic film!

        Liked by 1 person

  • mistermuse 12:03 am on February 12, 2020 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , , satire,   

    A NIGHT AT THE (SOAP) OPERA 

    SCENE: Wherever
    TIME: Whenever

    CAST:

    Groucho Marxisto        OPUS E. DRIFTWORT
    Chico Marxisto             FIORELLO BLOWHARDO
    Harpo Marxisto           TOMASSO PASTO
    Margaret Dontmont    MISSIS PLAYPOOL
    Sig Rumanboardo       HERMANO GOTLIEBCHEN
    Kitty Carlisimo            ROSA GROSSA
    Allan Jonesboro          RICARDO MACARONI
    Walter Wolf Kink        RODOLPHO ALASPRAIRIE
    Roberto O’Connor      POLICE DETECTIVE BANDITO MUSOLINI HENDERSON

    ACT 1

    Missis Playpool , millionaire dowager and high-society wannabe, has been stood up for dinner at a fancy restaurant by Opus E. Driftwort, gold-digging entrepreneur. After being discovered dining with a gorgeous blond at the next table, Driftwort worms his way out of the situation and sits down with Missis Playpool for a second dinner, during which he professes his undying love for her. Repulsed, he then proposes a plan to get her into society by investing $200,000 (in round figures) in the New Yurt Opera Company.

    Hermano Gotliebchen, impresario of the opera, happily accepts Missis Playpool’s money with intent to hire celebrated Italian tenor Rodolpho Alasprairie, who beats his valet, Tomasso Pasto, for trying on one of Rodolpho’s costumes before the opera which Missis Playpool attends, after which she and Gotliebchen agree to sign the tenor to a contract. Got that?

    Enter Fiorello Blowhardo, who claims to represent the “greatest tenor in the world” (Ricardo Macaroni, a little-known singer in the chorus). Driftwort, thinking Blowhardo represents Alasprairie, tries to get Blowhardo to sign a contract in which Driftwort gets $990 of the $1,000-a-week contract for the “greatest tenor’s” services….but the contract has too many disagreeable clauses, which they agree to rip out until they’re down to the last clause, which happens to be the sanity clause. Of course, Blowhardo claims there ain’t no Sanity Claus, and that’s the end of Act One.

    There will now be a short intermission, during which you are free to check out the commercials, or go to the fridge for a beer, before we resume with Act Two.

     

     

     
    • tref 2:06 am on February 12, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      … patiently waiting in my seat for act two.

      Liked by 1 person

    • masercot 6:42 am on February 12, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      “I’ll hold your seat ’til you get there. After you get there, you’re on your own”

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 3:35 pm on February 12, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        I don’t know how that Rufus T. Firefly quote got into this soap opera, but it’s just ducky with me — in fact, it’s Ducky Soupy.

        Like

    • calmkate 7:10 am on February 12, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      ooh powerful play writer too …

      Liked by 2 people

      • mistermuse 3:44 pm on February 12, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        I don’t know about “powerful,” Kate, but I do have to play right, or my wife will spank me

        Like

    • magickmermaid 5:03 pm on February 12, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      The party of the first part (i.e. me) thinks the party of the second part (i.e. you) should throw party for all parties of the third part 😉

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 6:39 pm on February 12, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        Chico (Fiorello) didn’t like the first part — especially the first part of the party of the first part — and I have a feeling I may not like the the second or third part, so I’m thinking about skipping to the fourth part. If I don’t like that, I’ll take the fifth amendment and go home. Wait — I’m already home. Well, that certainly was a long way to go to be back where I started.

        Like

    • David Redpath 8:38 pm on February 12, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Harpo’s performance left me speechless🙊
      But Groucho gets my vote, being a marxist😎

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 11:54 pm on February 12, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        Sounds like you’re saying that Groucho took the “Red path” (sorry if I took the low road with that pun).

        Like

    • barkinginthedark 4:57 pm on February 29, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      the original Beatles. continue…

      Liked by 1 person

  • mistermuse 7:21 pm on February 5, 2020 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , robocallers, satire,   

    ROBOCALLERS FOR TRUMP 

    Your phone rings for the umpteenth time today. You pick it up.

    YOU: “Trump re-election campaign headquarters. How much would you like to donate today?”

    ROBOCALLER: Hangs up. Dials again.

    YOU: “Trump re-election campaign headquarters. How much would you like to donate today?”

    ROBOCALLER: “Are you sure this is Trump re-election campaign headquarters?”

    YOU: “No, THIS is Trump re-election campaign headquarters. Man, are you mixed up. But that’s OK — we love people like you. Now, how much would you like to donate today?”

    ROBOCALLER: “Blankety-blank-blank-blank-blank!!!!”

    YOU: “Maybe you’re right. Maybe you’re Trump re-election campaign headquarters — who else could be so clueless? But if you think I’d help re-elect a President who hires ignoramuses like you, you’ve got another think coming. And you can tell your boss I said so.”

    You hang up. Two minutes later, your phone rings again. Another robocaller?

    YOU: “Trump re-election campaign headquarters. How much would you like to donate today?”

    CALLER: “YOU’RE FIRED!

     
    • Carmen 7:34 pm on February 5, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Who woulda thought Mitt Romney was thinking just that, eh? . 🙂

      Liked by 4 people

      • mistermuse 8:16 pm on February 5, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        As a Mormon in a Mormon state, Mitt was probably the only GOP senator who could safely buck Trump (but he did vote with the Repubs on the second charge).

        Liked by 1 person

    • magickmermaid 8:01 pm on February 5, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Hilarious! 😀

      Liked by 4 people

    • obbverse 9:37 pm on February 5, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Think back three less-than-great years ago The joke won, and that is a sad verified fact. Four more years would be hysterical, but in a bad bad way. To quote Franknfurter ‘my face hurts to smile.’

      Liked by 3 people

    • Brian Lageose 10:18 pm on February 5, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Good on ya!

      Like

    • mistermuse 10:26 pm on February 5, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      To quote Yogi Berra, “It ain’t over ’til it’s over.” Trump still faces continuing investigation from the Democrat-controlled House of Representatives and New York State, pending court cases, and (hopefully) defeat by the voters in November.

      Liked by 4 people

    • calmkate 2:38 am on February 6, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      such a shame he didn’t hear those two last words!
      He’s sacked his fair share … come on karma!

      Liked by 3 people

      • mistermuse 3:09 pm on February 6, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        “You’re fired” isn’t good enough for Trump. Not even adding “and sentenced to prison for the rest of your life” would be adequate justice.

        Liked by 1 person

        • calmkate 6:20 pm on February 6, 2020 Permalink

          I wouldn’t wish that on the prison staff … can you imagine the riots he’d start with his hatred and violence … I shudder!

          Liked by 1 person

    • masercot 6:49 am on February 6, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      And, his followers are okay with giving their hard-earned money to a billionaire…

      Liked by 3 people

      • mistermuse 3:16 pm on February 6, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        Like P.T.Barnum said, “There’s a sucker born every minute”….as well as an enabler and a partner in crime.

        Liked by 1 person

    • Ashley 6:55 am on February 6, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      I watched some of the speech on the “news” here. Some of the pictures reminded me of the conventions seen in North Korea or in China, where there is no opposition, all clapping until they have blisters on their hands, all afraid of being “fired”.

      Liked by 3 people

    • GP Cox 8:32 am on February 6, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Cute. Funny thing, last election, Trump was the only one I did NOT get calls from.

      Liked by 2 people

    • Rivergirl 8:47 am on February 6, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      I’m still reeling from Rush Limbaugh getting the Congressional Medal of Freedom. WTF????
      😳

      Liked by 3 people

      • mistermuse 3:41 pm on February 6, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        I can hardly wait for the next one: Sean Hannity? William Barr? Rudy Giuliani? Donald Trump Jr.? I wouldn’t be surprised if The Donald even awards one to himself.

        Liked by 1 person

        • Rivergirl 4:10 pm on February 6, 2020 Permalink

          I thought he wanted the Nobel Peace Prize….?

          Liked by 1 person

        • mistermuse 4:21 pm on February 6, 2020 Permalink

          Unfortunately for Trump, he didn’t (and ain’t gonna) get the Nobel Peace Prize….but that won’t stop him from seeking other medals. Personally, I think he should get the Congressional Medal of Dishonor.

          Like

    • D. Wallace Peach 11:54 am on February 6, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      I’m so glad I don’t get these calls.
      There were some Trumpies campaigning at my husband’s workplace yesterday. My husband is a union electrician, and he said (in a very calm voice, I might add) that he can’t support Republicans because they want to dismantle unions. The Trumpy sighed and said, “Your right.”
      He told the TRUTH. We were shocked. 😀

      Liked by 2 people

      • mistermuse 3:56 pm on February 6, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        A union electrician was shocked? I hope he didn’t have to turn in his union card! 😉

        Seriously though, I would’ve been shocked too — and I’d be even more shocked if your husband’s response caused the Trumpy to stop supporting Trump.

        Thanks for relating that very “current” episode, Diana.

        Liked by 1 person

        • D. Wallace Peach 4:15 pm on February 6, 2020 Permalink

          Ha ha ha. You always “get me good.”
          No, the Trumpie likes some nebulous Trump News fantasy about America being great again.

          Like

        • mistermuse 4:31 pm on February 6, 2020 Permalink

          That’s what you get for being such a good sport, Diana. But seriously (again), I very much appreciate your comments and promise that if I ever cross the line, it won’t be a union picket line.

          Like

    • Elizabeth 12:40 pm on February 6, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Great one. I like the innovative way you answered the phone. I like to pretend I am deaf and keep going what, what, what.

      Liked by 2 people

    • arekhill1 4:12 pm on February 9, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      I always answer, “I’ve already canceled my Social Security number,” Sr. Muse. That way I don’t have to use the T-word.

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 5:12 pm on February 9, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        I’d like to cancel Mr. Tweet’s twitter account, but I’ll settle for his defeat in November and a long imprisonment shortly thereafter.

        Like

    • barkinginthedark 4:08 am on February 13, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      The House must continue to hold televised hearings…about emoluments, about Trump retaining his ownership interests in his family business while he is in office, about the multiple foreign officials who have stayed at his properties while lobbying his administration, about.China approving multiple trademarks for his family’s brands while negotiating trade policies, about how every time he goes to golf at a Trump property he funnels taxpayer money into his family business—violating the Domestic Emoluments Clause – and about the fact that to date, Trump has spent over $100 million taxpayer dollars to golf and vacation at his own properties. And the Dem candidates must hold up Trump’s proposed “budget” to show the working class what he is all about for real – as opposed to what he says he’s about. .
      He belongs behind bars. Sorry to bend your ear MM. continue…

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 10:06 am on February 13, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        No problem. Trump is the problem. Your comment just touches the surface of all the unlawful and inhumane things he has done since taking office..

        Liked by 1 person

    • Catherine Haustein 11:08 am on February 16, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      So obnoxious. You probably heard about them clogging the phone lines and perhaps other things during the Iowa caucus. Don’t ever rush to declare anything with these guys around.

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 12:25 pm on February 16, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        That’s why extreme vigilance and action are needed to prepare for and defend against every underhanded means Trump and Company will surely use to subvert the upcoming Presidential, Senate, and Congressional elections in November. If we’ve learned anything about the Trump (formerly the Republican) Party, it’s that there are NO lengths to which they won’t go to retain and gain power.

        Liked by 1 person

    • Carol A. Hand 8:19 pm on February 17, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      A deep and hearty laugh, indeed!

      Liked by 1 person

    • atheistmilitantsrising 5:55 pm on February 22, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      I get those calls and I tell them all the time the only money I will donate? Is to Traitor Trump and the Russian Repugnants is the cost of the bullets to pay to have them executed for High Treason against the United States. And they do not like that.

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 7:26 pm on February 22, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        I agree that Traitor Trump is guilty of high treason, but execution is too good for him. I think he should be sent on a one-way rocket to another planet where he can rule a domain where no one will be disloyal to him.

        Like

        • atheistmilitantsrising 9:34 am on February 23, 2020 Permalink

          I tell them that to piss them off. My mode of executing this pos would not involve bullets let me tell ya. I got other ways I would love to put this pos to a righteous, deserving death.

          Liked by 1 person

        • Carmen 9:37 am on February 23, 2020 Permalink

          The problem with that idea is that it would make him a martyr to his supporters; there’d be armed uprisings galore. . . nope, he needs to get his arse kicked at the ballot box.

          Liked by 1 person

        • atheistmilitantsrising 10:52 am on February 23, 2020 Permalink

          Yeah the King just said he will do at least 12 more years. Talk about a Fascist. But we are supposed to lay down for this right? Allow this psychotic Dicktater wanna be to just take over and be scared of his psychotic Trumpanzees huh? Screw that shit. They want a martyr? Let’s give them one. They want a Civil War over Traitor Trump and the Russian Republicans? I say let them drop their micronuts and start one. Cause many of us? Are sick and tired of these scumbags. And while we will NOT start it? We sure the hell will finish it. And teach these scumbags another history lesson.

          Liked by 1 person

        • Carmen 12:04 pm on February 23, 2020 Permalink

          I admire your passion but I think it ought to be directed at convincing Americans to vote Bernie in. 🙂

          Liked by 1 person

        • atheistmilitantsrising 1:01 pm on February 23, 2020 Permalink

          I know Bernie from when I lived in Burlington VT and he was mayor. I voted for him the last time. This time I voted for Mayor Pete in the primaries. But if Bernie is the chosen nomination for the Dems? I will vote for him. I like him, I saw him do something one day for a homeless man who had no boots in the middle of winter that blew my mind. But no one really knows the story or talks about it.

          Liked by 1 person

        • Carmen 1:10 pm on February 23, 2020 Permalink

          I’m a Nova Scotian and there was a story in the newspaper several years ago about Bernie and his wife, who were visiting here. Bernie apparently struck up a long conversation with a local about our Health Care system; he came across as a genuinely nice man and was intrigued with universal health care. Of course, most of us here are socialists as heart so it warms us to Bernie. 🙂 (To many Americans, it seems, the word ‘socialist’ is synonymous with ‘communist’, however.)

          Liked by 1 person

    • atheistmilitantsrising 5:55 pm on February 22, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Reblogged this on Atheist Militants Rising and commented:
      I get those calls and I tell them all the time the only money I will donate? Is to Traitor Trump and the Russian Repugnants is the cost of the bullets to pay to have them executed for High Treason against the United States. And they do not like that.

      Like

    • mistermuse 12:57 pm on February 23, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      I don’t think that “middle America” is yet ready to vote for a self-proclaimed socialist as President (though I would vote for Bernie if he ends up as the Dem candidate). Far left Democratic voters should take a hard, DISPASSIONATE view of the only thing that matters here (defeating Trump) and not be blinded by emotion. Do they HONESTLY believe that a socialist can carry such states as Ohio, Pennsylvania, Michigan and Wisconsin that Trump won in 2016? I live in one of those states, and I don’t see Bernie as having a chance here.

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 10:29 am on February 25, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        Thanks for the “Like”, Kee C. I’d Like to add a P.S. to my previous comment: While I don’t see Bernie as winning those four states (especially my state of Ohio) at this time, things can change in a hurry in politics, and anything can happen that could effect how voters vote. For example, if yesterday’s 1,000+ drop in the Dow continues and/or is repeated shortly before the election, portending a possible downward spiral in the economy, Trump could be in big trouble and be voted out, no matter who the Democratic nominee is.

        Like

    • equipsblog 4:42 pm on February 25, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      This is way too delicious.

      Liked by 2 people

  • mistermuse 8:15 pm on January 23, 2020 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , neck pain, satire,   

    A PAIN IN THE NECK 

    PAIN IN THE NECK: Someone or something that is annoying or difficult to deal with –Cambridge English Dictionary

    • * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

    Friends, we all know someone who is a pain in the neck (or, at the bottom end of the species, a pain in the ass)….as distinguished from someone who HAS a pain in the neck. Unfortunately, mistermuse (aka me) HAS a pain in the neck, so today I went to see an orthopedist, who took X-rays and diagnosed my affliction as….a pain in the neck!

    Naïve soul that I am, I was hoping to learn the cause of my weeks-long pain in the neck, but at least my self-diagnosis was confirmed, so I suppose I should feel good about myself….at least, that part of myself that doesn’t hurt like crazy (like the part that grew out of my neck). Fortunately, it only hurts when I’m up and when I’m in bed, so it could be worse.

    Anyway, to make a long neck story short, I’ve been prescribed a muscle relaxant and an appointment with a physical therapist in the same building….and ‘there a pissed’ mistermuse will return next week for treatment. I may be sticking my neck out, but I’m hoping for relief at slightly less than break-neck speed.

     

     
    • magickmermaid 8:20 pm on January 23, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Sending you some healing energy! I know exactly how you feel. I’ve been having a war with my pillows; which I am sure are the cause of my pain in the neck.

      Liked by 1 person

    • blindzanygirl 8:40 pm on January 23, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Oh dear! I am so sorry about your affliction. But I laughed so hysterically at this that I have put my neck out of jointl

      Liked by 1 person

    • calmkate 9:17 pm on January 23, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      take care and get well soon … at least your pain may be a distraction from the real pain in the neck who is carrying on like a 3yo!

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 10:43 pm on January 23, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        Thanks, Kate….but you have just defamed 3 year-olds everywhere. And, unlike most 3 year-olds, Trump gets away with his temper tantrums….but then, most 3 year-olds don’t have an entire political party kissing his ass instead of spanking it.

        Liked by 1 person

    • Carmen 10:04 pm on January 23, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Be thankful it isn’t a pain in the arse as well, as you’d be a pain sitting down. .. errr. . . any doobies around to smoke? Not that it’s a guarantee to take your pain away but you just won’t care anymore. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 10:52 pm on January 23, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        I’ll have to take your word for that, Carmen, but I appreciate the suggestion. I haven’t smoked a joint since my mother set our old house on fire baking hash in a pot (or was it baking pot in a hash — my memory is a bit hazy about this).

        Like

    • Yeah, Another Blogger 10:37 pm on January 23, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Feel better!

      Liked by 1 person

    • Garfield Hug 11:25 pm on January 23, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Aaaww sorry you have a pain in the neck! The last time I had a pain in the neck, I ended up with titanium rods and screws! Blah! Take care and physio will help. Take care Mistermuse and Garfield hugs…sending you healing rays💕🤗🤗

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 1:06 am on January 24, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        Thanks, GH. Garfield is such a lovable little bugger — er, hugger — that I hope you’ll give him a big fat kiss for me!

        Like

    • obbverse 12:08 am on January 24, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Doctors eh? Check out your neck, charge an arm and a leg and kick your ass out the door. Still, could be worse if he’d probed a little further.

      Liked by 2 people

      • mistermuse 1:01 am on January 24, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        This isn’t the first time a doctor couldn’t (or wouldn’t take time to) find the cause of a health problem, so I’ve learned not to go in with high expectations and hope that whatever is prescribed helps, or at least does no harm. At least, if it kills me, I’ll know not to go to him again.

        Liked by 2 people

    • tubularsock 4:07 am on January 24, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Hmmmm. Dr. Tubularsock would say that your atlas is out of place and thus your entire spine follows its error.

      The cause, of course, is Donald Trump.

      Tubularsock’s diagnosis is only $350.00 cash in small unmarked bills in a brown paper lunch bag placed under the bus bench at 3rd Street and Prospect Ave.

      Paying on time will prevent future broken kneecaps.

      Cheers, and hope you feel better soon.

      Liked by 2 people

      • mistermuse 8:19 am on January 24, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        Thanks for the diagnosis. Coincidently, I’ve found that the fine for practicing medical guesswork without a liquor license is also $350, so by not reporting you to the improper authorities, I’m saving you the same amount as your bill. I believe that makes us even. If you disagree, I’ll see your broken kneecaps threat and raise you a spot on Trump’s enemies list (which may be cool and unusual punishment, but all’s unfair in war and Trumpland).

        Liked by 2 people

        • tubularsock 2:25 pm on January 24, 2020 Permalink

          Now, now mistermuse, there is no need to jump off the deep end with threatening retribution using the unconstitutional actions of “cool and unusual punishment”!

          Tubularsock can be cool and unusual without your assistants, thank you!

          And just for your information Tubularsock does not need a liquor license issued by the deep state to consume large amounts of organic alcohol for medical enhancement purposes.

          And ALMOST finally, Tubularsock would highly recommend you staying away from those who are “practicing” medicine ON YOU and pay more attention to your pal Tubularsock that can get you discount rates on all types of opioids from this guy Tubularsock knows on the corner.

          And NEARER finally, Tubularsock herein removes the suggestion of the threat to your knee caps. Tubularsock may have been a little hasty there.

          FINALLY, take care of yourself and good luck!

          Liked by 1 person

    • Ashley 6:57 am on January 24, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      This is a “cracker” of a post! I first read this at 4 o’clock in the morning; you see I have a pain in my foot and ankle which my doctor tells me is caused by the pain in my backside! My right but.tock to be exact. “You’ve got sciatica!”
      That was in December and I haven’t been out of the house since! All I can say is that I’m looking forward to the spring, which according to the old traditional calendar, begins in a few weeks time.
      I hope your visit to the physiotherapist improves things for you. I always come away from mine feeling positive.

      Liked by 2 people

      • mistermuse 8:32 am on January 24, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        Thanks, Ashley. Your comment gives me something to chew on, and it’s definitely not crackers. I appreciate your good wishes, and wish I could relieve your pain. Take care.

        Like

    • masercot 7:08 am on January 24, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Medical science has reached the point where doctors can diagnose that you have a pain in the neck within minutes of you telling them that you have one. THE FUTURE IS NOW!!!

      I hope you feel better…

      Liked by 2 people

      • mistermuse 8:41 am on January 24, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        Thanks, m. Too bad medical science has not reached the point of finding a cure for the Trump virus, which has already infected almost half the nation and looks to have long-lasting (if not permanent) effects.

        Liked by 1 person

    • Rivergirl 8:36 am on January 24, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      I’m sure you had plenty of friends who could have diagnosed you as a pain in the neck… free of charge!
      Sorry, it was begging to be said.
      😈

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 8:54 am on January 24, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        Rg, you cut me to the quick (wherever and whatever that is). Nonetheless, I won’t hold it against you because….because….there must be SOME reason. OK, because you’re so cute and adorable. Now aren’t you ashamed of your canard (wherever and whatever that is)?

        Liked by 2 people

    • smbabbitt 9:28 am on January 24, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Best wishes for the days when only the current monstrocracy will cause you pain, and then for the days when that burden will also be lifted!

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 12:58 pm on January 24, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        Thank you, smb. Between my sore neck and Trump’s swelled head, I don’t know which causes me more pain. But at least there’s hope for my neck; there’s no cure for Trump contagion (at least, not until November).

        Like

    • D. Wallace Peach 11:30 am on January 24, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      I recommend messages, Mr. Muse. Great for the pain in the neck and luxurious at the same time. 🙂 My husband started with a pain in the lower back, which moved to a pain in the shoulder, then a pain in the upper back, and finally a pain in the neck. I think he likes his weekly treatments a little too much! Lol. I hope you feel better soon.

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 1:25 pm on January 24, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        Thanks, Diana. I get the “messages” to get massages (I’ve made far worse typos, so I can relate to the misspelling, and wouldn’t blame you if you ring — I mean wring — my neck for calling attention to it).

        Anyway, I appreciate the recommendation, and imagine that massages will be on the agenda when I see the physical therapist next week.

        Liked by 1 person

    • charlypriest 11:59 pm on January 24, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      A fun read, made me smile so you made my day. Thanks for your writing

      Liked by 1 person

    • Elizabeth 4:15 pm on January 25, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      I have found that each body part is in fact connected to each other just like the song we used to sing with “Dem Bones.” You ought to post that song here since as one place relaxes another one seems to step right up.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Carol A. Hand 5:27 pm on January 26, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Even in pain, you lighten others’ day with your wit and humor, Mister Muse. Sending my best wishes and healing thoughts. 💜

      Liked by 1 person

    • scifihammy 6:43 am on January 28, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Although you write with your usual amusing flare, I am sorry about your Pain in the Neck and hope you can get some relief soon. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 3:28 pm on January 28, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        Thanks, scifi. I just got back from my first physical therapy session, which I am happy to report did not kill me. Hopefully, the next sessions will build upon that accomplishment and result in some relief soon.

        Liked by 1 person

        • scifihammy 12:09 pm on January 31, 2020 Permalink

          Here’s hoping. 🙂
          And if all else fails – there’s always a good whisky! 😀

          Liked by 1 person

    • barkinginthedark 7:55 pm on January 30, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      MM Aleve always works for me. hope by now you feel better. continue…

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 10:25 pm on January 30, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        Thanks — after the muscle relaxant prescribed by my orthopedist runs out, I’ll keep your suggestion in mind if I still need pain relief.

        Like

    • JosieHolford 9:00 pm on February 18, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      All the best as you weave your way though the byzantine heath care system of the USA. I hope your particular discomfort is identified and dealt with.

      But just as an FYI – I don’t think you will ever qualify as a genuine PITN. Or PITA for that matter.

      All the very best.

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 9:34 pm on February 18, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        Thanks, Josie. Physical therapy hasn’t solved my neck problem, so tomorrow I’m getting an MRI which will hopefully reveal the cause of my pain, which is a real pain in the neck (pun intended)!

        Like

    • parkermccoy 12:58 am on February 20, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      So you really stuck your ass out there. Or I mean, your neck was in the fire. No, wait. Reverse that. Haha. Having a beer and hoping your neck returns to normal with a quickneck. I mean, quickness!

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 1:38 pm on February 20, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        MRI showed nothing worse than arthritis, so at least I don’t need surgery. At my age, it will probably continue to deteriorate, but PT and meds will hopefully keep it in check (and keep me writing checks to pay for it).

        Liked by 1 person

    • beetleypete 2:32 pm on February 23, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      I hope your neck gets better soon.
      And many thanks for following my blog. 🙂
      Best wishes, Pete.

      Like

  • mistermuse 12:00 am on January 11, 2020 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , FDR, , Happy Days Are Here Again, , , Presidential campaign, satire   

    MISTERMUSE FOR PRESIDENT! 

    So, ladies and gentlemen, I am officially running for President of the United States, and we are going to make our country great again.” –Donald Trump, June 16, 2015

    • * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

    That was then; this is now.

    Fringe, Morons, Countrymen, lend me your rears. I am officiously running for President of the Disunited States, because I feel like it….and who isn’t in favor of doing what they feel like? Now, we know that The Donald feels likewise, but let’s face it — he’s an asshole.

    I can hear some of you Trumplodytes saying, “He may be an asshole, but at least he’s my asshole.” Sir — or ma’am, as the base may be — I admit that you’re entitled to your own asshole, but if you don’t mind my saying so, your asshole is full of shit….and after three-plus years of the shit fitting the man, enough of him is too much (and vice versa).

    Friends, you and I both realize that, though the Dems’ heart may be in the right place, they’ve been letting the bullying GOP kick their cajones from here to South America for too long. That is why, in addition to slumming for Pres, I am announcing the formation of a new political party called The Fair And Respectful Treatment Party (or FART for short), because that’s what the American people deserve — and when I become President, they will get the FART they’re entitled to.

    It’s not going to be easy, friends. I’m getting a late start, and the dollar three twenty five I have in the bank is just enough to cover my ass until my unemployment compensation kicks in. So I’ll be counting on your support and the support of my billions of blog followers to finance my campaign. If you can’t afford to send money, other assets will be gratefully accepted so long as they pass the smell test.

    And although the Democratic party may no longer be the party of kick-ass Presidents like FDR, his campaign theme song is still just the ticket for me:

    P.S. Highest donor gets to head my campaign and handle the money (just keep it under your hat).

     
    • Notes To Ponder 12:23 am on January 11, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Outstanding! 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

      • mistermuse 1:14 am on January 11, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        My first endorsement! Can more be far behind!

        Liked by 1 person

        • Notes To Ponder 1:17 am on January 11, 2020 Permalink

          Well you’re going to need 65,000 people to donate to the campaign and favourable ranking in national polls to score a chair in the next televised Democrat debate. 🙂

          Like

        • mistermuse 1:39 am on January 11, 2020 Permalink

          Details, details! The Donald doesn’t sweat the details, and he got elected. Of course, he was born with a silver spoon in one of his holes and had Putin’s help, but I have billions of followers, so “We’ll see what happens” (to borrow one of Trump’s fav pearls of faux wisdom).

          Like

    • obbverse 1:34 am on January 11, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      At last! A breath of fresh air on the political front. So to speak. After the ‘great job’ -HUGE- Trump’s done, the window of opportunity has been left wide open. As it should be.

      Like

    • calmkate 2:05 am on January 11, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      I’d vote for you!

      trying to start WWIII was a great distraction … what happened to the impeachment???

      Liked by 2 people

      • mistermuse 12:22 pm on January 11, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        Kate, obviously Trump thinks A DISTRACTION A DAY KEEPS IMPEACHMENT (and every other accountability) AWAY. And he may be right, considering that his base and GOP sycophants support him, no matter what.

        Liked by 2 people

        • calmkate 6:47 pm on January 11, 2020 Permalink

          I think you’ll find Murdoch and Packer will do everything possible to keep him there too!

          Like

    • The Whitechapel Whelk 4:08 am on January 11, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Just like Mr Trump’s administration, I hope your campaign runs like ‘a finely-tooned machine’

      Liked by 2 people

      • mistermuse 12:30 pm on January 11, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        Calling Trump “Mr” is like calling a baboon “Sir” — except that a baboon has more integrity. Nontheless, I thank you for your good wishes, because I know your fart (like mine) is in the right place.

        Liked by 1 person

    • blindzanygirl 7:04 am on January 11, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Lol. Love the assholes. This is really funny! But I’ll vote for you!

      Like

      • mistermuse 12:33 pm on January 11, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        Thank you, my friend. Vote early and often (or at least, often).

        Liked by 1 person

        • blindzanygirl 12:52 pm on January 11, 2020 Permalink

          Lol. I will have to throw my vote across the pond 😀

          Like

        • mistermuse 9:38 pm on January 11, 2020 Permalink

          I’d like to throw Trump across the pond to your country, Lorraine, but your country has enough problems without the orange dis-ass-ter landing in your midst.

          Liked by 1 person

    • Rivergirl 9:09 am on January 11, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      You’ve got my vote.
      And besides there’s so much foul air in Washington these days they won’t even notice the difference.

      Like

      • mistermuse 12:41 pm on January 11, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        Thanks, Rg. That reminds me to be sure to call in the fumigators before I enter the White House (the rest of Washington probably won’t bother, they’re so used to the stench).

        Liked by 1 person

    • masercot 9:13 am on January 11, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      You’ve got all three of the votes I normally cast… I’m even writing you in for a member of the Fairfax County school board…

      Like

      • mistermuse 12:58 pm on January 11, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        The more (votes), the merrier, I always say (beginning now).
        As for the school board, I won’t be eligible because one of my first acts as Pres will be to decree that all school boards be comprised only of students. Thus, any adult who want to run for school board will first have to go back to school. Hopefully, that will greatly reduce the number of ignoramuses running our schools.

        Like

    • Ashley 11:12 am on January 11, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      You’ve got my vote! Do you still allow postal votes? The Fair and Respectful Treatment Party is something we could do with over here! Can you send me a copy of the manifesto?

      Like

      • mistermuse 1:28 pm on January 11, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        Thanks, Ashley. I will allow votes by any method except tweet, a means of transmission which Trump has irreparably despoiled for all eternity.

        Manifesto-wise, I have yet to put one in writing and hesitate to do so, because it could be evidence my enemies might use against me. On the other hand, it may be unavoidable — like manifesto destiny.

        Like

    • tubularsock 1:07 pm on January 11, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Check’s in the mail!

      And remember some POT for EVERY CHICKEN!

      Liked by 1 person

    • arekhill1 1:13 pm on January 11, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      I hope you do better than I did, Sr. Muse. https://www.richardcahill.net/home/-gop-for-me-i-will-run-in-2016

      Like

      • mistermuse 1:58 pm on January 11, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        I’m sure you would’ve won the nomination if Donald Turd hadn’t entered the race the following month, Ricardo. When I am Pres, I will appoint you to the Supreme Court so you will have the chance to confirm his guilt for this and every other dastardly deed he will be convicted of, so help me God (sorry about that, Ricardo, but I’m not an atheist….yet).

        Like

    • Elizabeth 6:32 pm on January 11, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Can you pick Steven Colbert as your running mate? If so, you have my vote.

      Like

      • mistermuse 9:24 pm on January 11, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        Will CLAUDETTE COLBERT do? As you can see (40 seconds into this clip), she starred in a film called THE PHANTOM PRESIDENT, which is what I am at this point. She may be dead, but at least that will keep her from misspeaking or making any wrong moves.

        Like

        • Elizabeth 6:50 pm on January 12, 2020 Permalink

          Good substitution. And maybe his fans will be confused enough to vote for you with her on the ticket.

          Like

    • D. Wallace Peach 9:22 pm on January 11, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      I’d vote for you over Trump. I’d vote for a fart over Trump. At least farts don’t try to take away healthcare, they don’t try to wreck the planet, and they don’t try to start wars. We’d all be a lot happier and safer with a fart in the Whitehouse. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse 9:48 pm on January 11, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Thank you, Diana. What more can I say? Anyone who would vote for a fart over Trump obviously has her priorities in the right place.

      Like

    • jilldennison 4:23 am on January 12, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Alright, sir … you have my vote, and I will even volunteer as your campaign speech writer, if you don’t already have one! I cannot send money, but as you said other assets would suffice, I am sending you 2 of our 5 kitties! One is mean as Attila the Hun and should be good for guarding you during campaign rallies. The other will warm your heart in times of trouble. I also love the name of your new party … now get out there and win some votes!

      Like

      • mistermuse 9:52 am on January 12, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        I plan to write my own speeches, Jill, but I thank you for the kitties because I need the support of independents, and no one is more independent-minded than cats (well, except for my wife and daughters). I think I’ll call them (the kitties, not my wife and daughters) “EX-DEMOCRATS NOW COOL DEMOCATS FOR MISTERMUSE” to inspire other Dems to join the growing FART party. I can feel a surge in the making!

        Liked by 1 person

        • jilldennison 4:53 pm on January 12, 2020 Permalink

          You’re on the right track, my friend! You need to come up with a logo for your FART Party!

          Like

        • mistermuse 7:11 pm on January 12, 2020 Permalink

          I’d use Trump’s face, but that would be promoting him and the GOP instead of FART. Besides, I’m already so sick of seeing his face, I could PUKE.

          Like

    • mlrover 10:00 am on January 14, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Go for MM!!! You’ll know you’ve made it when Randy Rainbow does your parody.

      Like

      • mistermuse 1:53 pm on January 14, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        I say with all sincerity that such a rarity would be a model of hilarity if there’s no disparity between my parody and the temerity of R.R.’s G & S parody:

        Liked by 1 person

    • barkinginthedark 6:34 pm on January 22, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      FDR one of my heroes flaws and all. continue…

      Liked by 2 people

    • barkinginthedark 6:35 pm on January 22, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      P.S. i can’t wrap my head around the fact that i’ve gone from FDR to this.

      Liked by 2 people

      • mistermuse 4:19 pm on January 23, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        If it’s any consolation, we won’t go from FDR to Trump to Mike Pence, because there’s no chance the GOP will terminate Trump’s term, with Pence taking over as Pres.

        Liked by 1 person

    • barkinginthedark 4:16 am on January 25, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      too sadly true – in many many ways too numerous to list. continue…

      Liked by 2 people

    • Henry Lewis 10:12 pm on February 9, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      You can count on my FART!

      Liked by 1 person

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