WE’RE ALL HUMAN (EVEN REPUBLICANS)

For those who pay little attention to American politics, the name of attorney Michael Avenatti may be unfamiliar, but most of you have no doubt heard of his famous client, the porn star and ex-Trump hookup, Stormy Daniels. I bring Avenatti up because I have often wondered why Democrats don’t more vehemently challenge GOP complicity when President Bully Boy acts as if the country were his own personal fiefdom to ru(i)n as he damn well pleases. On August 10, Avenatti addressed that very question:

Now, I fully recognize that the Republican faithful (at least, a fair number of them) are human and, as such, susceptible to being sold a bill of goods and/or being evangelized by a vainglorious pied piper. As an ex-Catholic, I know what it’s like to be vulnerable to vested interests in positions of authority. They seem to have all the answers at a time answers are hard to come by, but you haven’t yet grown to realize that, to those who claim to have the answers, you are part of their agenda, another recruit to their cause/beliefs. Easy pickings.

So, while I can empathize with being gullible (because I’ve been there, done that), there is a bigger issue at stake here, and that is what kind of country are we becoming? When will it prove too late to undo the divisiveness, to blue pencil the Orange Man who debases the dark place that was once The White House? What in the name of civility and integrity has become of our standards of leadership?

America has never been “a perfect union”–far from it–but in a world where almost everything is relative, we are at a new low in my lifetime. For all the faults and failings of past Presidents, has there ever been one so self-obsessed, so megalomaniacal, so utterly incapable of reflection and putting himself in the place of those who come from a different place (both literally and figuratively)?

I started this post intending to intersperse some humor into a sober matter, but despite all the Trump satire and jokes that serve as a sort of laugh-to-keep-from-crying palliative (I plead guilty to occasionally getting in on the relief act), there’s really nothing funny about this President in the long run. At the end of the day, the joke is on us….and we brought it on ourselves. Now it’s up to us–we, the voters–to get serious about an act of contrition.

November 6, 2018 would be a good time to start.

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THIS IS JEP-R-DO!

As a big fan of JEOPARDY! (or JEP-R-DO!, as I like to call it), it caught my attention a few days ago that July 22 will be Alex Trebeck’s birthday (July 22, 1940). His upcoming birthday got me to thinking about doing a post relating to the program and/or its host, but I was doing little more than piddling around with the idea….until I saw this clip:

My immediate reaction was I had no clue that any member of the Trump clan had the intellectual chops to watch a program which invites seeing if your pool of knowledge is deeper than a piddle. After getting past that shock, I realized that if a Trump can be more than a bump on a log where watching JEOPARDY! is concerned, surely I can count on my followers being more players than naysayers where JEP-R-DO! (my version) is concerned.

Therefore, I have spared no expense to consult the world’s greatest know-it-alls (with the lamentable exception of the President) to put together a list of ten answers guaranteed to challenge even the amazing, incredible, great, terrific, tremendous, yuge reservoir of knowledge collectively held by you, my faithful readers. You will then have thirty seconds to come up with the correct questions. Since your time is limited, it is only fair that I use a matching format, listing the questions from 1 to 10 so all you need do is match the numbered questions in the second list with the lettered answers in the first list. Ready? Go!!!

a. The greatest businessman, politician and showman/spin meister/hoax promoter in American history (famous initials P.T.)
b. Playboy of the Western World
c. Master of the Universe
d. Disaster of the Universe
e. Demander in Chief
f. Liar, liar, rants on fire
g. Pathological Narcissist
h. Super Dupe-r
i. Bully Boy
j. Putin Patsy

1. Who is President Trump?
2. Who is President Trump?
3. Who is President Trump?
4. Who is President Trump?
5. Who is President Trump?
6. Who is President Trump?
7. Who is President Trump?
8. Who is President Trump?
9. Who is President Trump?
10. Who is President Trump?

That wasn’t too hard now, was it?

 

DUBIOUS PROPOSITIONS

I’m a big fan of old sayings, but even I concede that some sayings could no more pass the proverbial smell test than a rodent could pass a spell(ing) test. They may seem innoscent enough, but smellegant isn’t the same as elegant, and you must admit that a proverb like A turd in the hand is worth two in the tush is less than elegant. Really, close encounters of the turd kind could leave you holding your nose….if not checking your rear-view mirror.

That said, are such askew old sayings any less farcical than the twisted tweets America’s Tweeter-in-Chief oft twitters? “Fake news!”…”fake news!”…”fake news!” And if ANYONE can smell (like) a rat when it comes to fake news, it is obviously President Tweety Turd.

Leaving the President’s behind for a moment, here are some classic old sayings. Can you make out the fakeout — aka smell the rat — in these venerable gems?

If it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, and mocks like a mocking bird, duck — it’s The Donald.

A watched pot never boils….but it may get a bit peeved.

A rolling stone gathers no animosity.

A fool and his honey are soon parted.

Faint heart ne’er won bare lady.

Oil and water don’t mix — got that, Slick?

You can’t get blood out of a turnip, but you can get honey out of two-lips.

Monkey pee pee, monkey do do (easy come, easy go).

Dead men tell no tales, but some may leave a will which does.

Friends and would-be heirs, some of the above were almost enough to make me gag, but I can assure your butt that not every old phrase strays in dubious ways. For example:

….and this:

….and this:

Oh….and I almost forgot this old saying: HAPPY NEW YEAR!