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  • mistermuse 3:05 pm on February 3, 2014 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: axioms, expressions, , , lightbulbs, maxims, , , Seeing is believing, , , turnips, ,   


    Time once again for another exciting episode of SO THEY SAY, so let’s get back to where Part Two left off, and continue putting the right slant on some questionable old axioms. My readers deserve nothing less, because….well, they just don’t.


    The best things in life are free.
    Nevertheless, donations are acccepted for this and all previous and future posts.

    She will talk to a wooden Indian.
    That’s why I keep a wooden Indian around the house.

    You can’t get blood out of a turnip.
    Try praying harder.

    The bigger they are, the harder they fall.
    Try praying harder, but only for small turnips. If they fall hard enough, the big turnips should bleed on their own.

    It is better to light one candle than to curse the darkness.
    Or, you could pay your electric bill or replace that burned-out bulb.

    Six of one, half dozen of another.
    The correct Jeopardy! answer is: How many Ricardos and Dons does it take to change a lightbulb?

    Seeing is believing.
    How true. I see much better now, after turning on the candle in the light socket.

    She can’t help being ugly, but she could’ve stayed home.
    Maybe she had to run out and buy a thesaurus.

    There’s no fool like an old fool.
    I prefer to think of it as being special.

    Say what you mean and mean what you say.
    But don’t be mean when you say it.

    • arekhill1 11:17 am on February 4, 2014 Permalink | Reply

      Are you just checking if I’m reading, Sr. Muse? As a writer, I am capable of changing a lightbulb by myself, but only after it goes on an emotional journey.


    • Don Frankel 4:46 pm on February 4, 2014 Permalink | Reply

      Since it takes 12 government employees to change a light bulb you can have both of us. Then you might need a few others as the 12 government employees would have a meeting to change the light bulb. That would not necessarily get the bulb changed. In which case you might be sitting in the dark until you lit a candle or hired a private contractor to change the light bulb.


    • mistermuse 5:01 pm on February 4, 2014 Permalink | Reply

      Ricardo, would I ever doubt your loyalty? (Don’t answer that).

      Actually, you and Don were the unfortunate victims of desperation on my part with regard to “Six of one, half dozen of another.” Rejoinders to the other axioms came to me fairly readily, but try as I may, that one had me stumped until I thought of the old joke about how many Polacks does it take to change a lightbulb?

      Apologies to you, Don and any Polacks who may be tuned in.


    • Michaeline Montezinos 10:03 am on February 7, 2014 Permalink | Reply

      I accept your apology since I knew you were jesting. My brother called me a “Polack,” and I was upset. Of course, he was in his cups and he is Polish, too. I enjoyed your revisions of these common mottoes or cliches. Please include me in future bulb changing episodes as I am not as sensitive as others can be and not easily offended. Funny stuff mistermuse. I always enjoy your writing. 🙂


    • mistermuse 4:48 pm on February 7, 2014 Permalink | Reply

      Thanks, Michaeline. I was almost hoping that you wouldn’t see my “Polack” explanation, as I remembered that you’re part Polish, and I didn’t want to offend, though I agree it shouldn’t offend. There are lots of jokes about drunken Irishmen, for example, but I’m not sensitive about them although I’m part Irish. Maybe it’s because Irishmen can laugh at themselves.


  • mistermuse 7:36 pm on January 31, 2014 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , course of true love never runs smooth, cure is worse than the disease, death and taxes. pen is mightier than the sword, left hand doesn't know what the right hand is doing, maxims, , , squeaky wheel gets the grease, , , way to a man's heart is through his stomach   


    How time flies. It seems like only yesterday that I posted Part One of SO THEY SAY. Time to get back to work. Time’s a-wasting. Time to bite the bullet. Time is stranger than fiction. Etc.

    In Part One, as you will fail to recall, I did what I will continue in Part Two, so rather than repeat the original intro, I’m sitting here trying to think of another one even more brilliant….

    Sorry, I can’t do the impossible. Just scroll down to that post to get the idea. They say time waits for no one, but I’ll wait. Take your time.


    The left hand doesn’t know what the right hand is doing.
    As if it cared.

    The squeaky wheel gets the grease.
    Hold the fries.

    There may be snow on the roof, but there’s still fire in the furnace.
    I suppose that beats fire on the roof and snow in the furnace.

    The course of true love never runs smooth.
    What’s the rush?

    The cure is worse than the disease….
    nless the side effects put you mercifully out of your misery. Just sayin’.

    The only sure thing is death and taxes.
    That’s two things (unless you can afford a very creative accountant).

    The pen is mightier than the sword.
    and just as obsolete.

    The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.
    OK, I’ll bite….as long as I don’t get heartburn and there’s a rear exit.

    The truth shall set you free.
    My truth — not the other guy’s. Trust me.

    The more things change, the more they remain the same.
    Sounds to me
    like there may be
    a Part Three.
    We shall see.

    • Don Frankel 4:33 pm on February 1, 2014 Permalink | Reply

      I think a third one should be a lead pipe cinch. So long as the Creek don’t rise.


    • mistermuse 6:07 pm on February 1, 2014 Permalink | Reply

      You got it, Don.

      Come hell or high water,
      I’m up to working harter.
      #3 may not be better,
      But it’s shore to be wetter.


  • mistermuse 12:04 am on January 29, 2014 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , maxims, , ,   


    In some lost past post of mine somewhere in the blogosphere, I asserted that what you don’t know can’t hurt you  is one of the dumbest well-known sayings ever said. Don’t get me wrong — I love a good old adage as much as the next good old adage lover, but not all old adages are created equal. I think we’re often inclined to take such supposed wisdom at face value, when a second look might give us pause — second thoughts, so to speak.

    I have over the years acquired over a dozen books of old sayings, truisms, maxims, aphorisms, expressions, etc. Here is a selection from my collection which, upon further inspection, may warrant further reflection:

    Water, water everywhere, but not a drop to drink.
    That didn’t seem to bother W. C. Fields, Dean Martin or Homer Simpson.

    Where there’s smoke, there’s fire.
    And yet, very few smokers carry fire extinguishers.

    We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.
    Easy now. What did that bridge ever do to you?

    Truth is stranger than fiction.
    In fact, so strange you can only find it in the Rare Books section.

    Oh, what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive.
    So much for practice makes perfect.

    What goes up must come down.
    Try telling that to all the kites and balloons caught up in trees.

    When the going gets tough, the tough get going.
    But when the meek get tough, they get dis-blessed and disinherit the earth.

    When it rains, it pours.
    One word: drizzle.

    When you lie down with dogs, you get fleas.
    My dog resembles that remark (or at least he would, if he had fleas).

    And that’s just scratching the surface. There’s plenty more where they came from, so I’m thinking there’s a Part II in your future, you lucky dog.

    • Don Frankel 7:29 am on January 29, 2014 Permalink | Reply

      All good things come to he who waits.
      All good things come to an end.
      Go figga.


    • mistermuse 8:49 am on January 29, 2014 Permalink | Reply

      Good (two for) one, Don….more than good enough to use in upcoming Part II, but that post will have to wait long enough for readers to forget that you thought of it first.


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