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  • mistermuse 12:00 am on September 30, 2016 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: Chinese proverbs, , , , , Proverbs, , , USA! USA! USA!,   

    CONFUCIUS, PRO AND CON 

    Yesterday, Sept. 29, was CONFUCIUS DAY. Confucius say: Mistermuse perfect pundit to write Sept. 30 CONFUCIUS DAY post because he always a day late and a yuan* short. Mistermuse say: I not a day late, Confucius Day a day too soon — besides, everyone know yuan is actually Spanish/Latino name (as in Don Juan), not Chinese. Latinos say: Whatever. Just don’t Confuci-us with the Japanese, who have the yen. Anyway, before yuan thing lead to another, what counts is the way we Americans say it: “A day late and a dollar short.”  USA! USA! USA!

    *Chinese currency

    Now that we’ve cleared that up, let us get down to the business at hand, which happens to be a selection of profound proverbs by Confucius, followed by an equal proportion of proverbial conclusions by Contrarius (which happens to be the pun name of Anonymous).

    Choose a job that you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.
    Learning without thought is labor lost; thought without learning is perilous.
    To see and listen to the wicked is already the beginning of wickedness.
    He who speaks without modesty will find it difficult to make words good.
    Only the wisest and stupidest of men never change.
    The superior man understands what is right; the inferior man understands what will sell.

    Man who stand on toilet may be high on pot.
    Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.
    Passionate kiss like spider web: leads to undoing of fly.
    People who eat too many prunes get good run for money.
    War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.
    Man who jump off cliff jump to conclusion.

    THE END (and not a moment too soon)

     

     

     

     
    • Cynthia Jobin 12:07 am on September 30, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Man who fly airplane upside down have crack up.

      Liked by 2 people

      • mistermuse 7:26 am on September 30, 2016 Permalink | Reply

        Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok. 😦

        Liked by 1 person

        • Michaeline 9:14 am on September 30, 2016 Permalink

          Woman with dress on walking though airport doing handstands reveals cock pit.

          Bunnies making love in bushes can be seen by their cotton balls.

          OLDER WOMEN ALLOWED TO SAY NAUGHTY JOKES, IF THEY CAN REMEMBER THEM.

          Liked by 1 person

        • Cynthia Jobin 10:40 am on September 30, 2016 Permalink

          As the youngsters say: LOL! I heard a lot of those from my Dad. We used to watch old Charlie Chan movies….

          Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse 9:30 am on September 30, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      But younger women have no such excuse, Michaeline, so your husband should wash your mouth out with soap. 🙂

      Like

    • arekhill1 11:18 am on September 30, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      This post gave me a bad case of deja moo, Sr. Muse. I’ve heard this bull before.

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 11:31 am on September 30, 2016 Permalink | Reply

        Sorry about that, Ricardo (and, according to your latest post, you’re not even a Taurus!).

        Like

    • Carmen 6:19 am on October 1, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      I see you are being your a-MUSE-ing self. . . 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse 7:24 am on October 1, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Thanks, Carmen, but one thing in my post confuses, as much as it amuses, me: what do the Japanese have a yen for (of course, I could guess, but I don’t yuan-na).

      Like

    • Don Frankel 2:51 pm on October 1, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Great, wise and funny stuff here Muse. But I must take umbrage with the one about not listening to wicked people. I mean if I had done that in life, I wouldn’t have any friends.

      Liked by 2 people

      • mistermuse 8:21 pm on October 1, 2016 Permalink | Reply

        Well, you’d still have me for a friend, Don (unless you count me among the wicked). 🙂

        As for the wise and funny stuff, I think perhaps the wisest proverb is actually one that’s listed with the funny ones: “War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.” How true that is!

        Like

    • Don Frankel 1:27 pm on October 2, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Think Winston Churchill got there first. “History is written by the victors.” Has a slight different bent but it’s the same thought.

      Like

    • mistermuse 3:19 pm on October 2, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      I think “war determine who is left” could also be taken in ‘the last man standing’ sense, regardless of the naïve belief that ‘the good guys are bound to win because they’re ‘right.’ But you’re probably right that it’s just a different take on the same thought.

      Like

    • BroadBlogs 2:22 pm on October 3, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Man who jump off cliff jump to conclusion.

      Hope you don’t do that with Trump.

      Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse 7:11 pm on October 3, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Sorry, but I’ve already jumped to the conclusion that Trump is the worst excuse for a Presidential candidate in my lifetime. I’d go back before that, but that would be jumping to another conclusion. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    • Forestwoodfolkart 7:18 am on November 27, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      I do like the Confucian sayings. They contain such wisdoms.

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 9:40 am on November 27, 2016 Permalink | Reply

        Absolutely! And to think that he said them 2,500 years ago! If most people haven’t taken them to heart by this time, will they ever?

        Liked by 1 person

  • mistermuse 4:57 pm on June 1, 2015 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , , phrases, Proverbs   

    SAY WHAT? 

    When I make use of old sayings or adages (such as the title of my last post, DOLLARS TO DOUGH-NUTS), I sometimes hesitate to do so because I’ve observed that (unlike my generation)  many people these days don’t know them….which, in turn, means that the reader probably “doesn’t get it” and my wordplay didn’t work. You might claim that’s because my generation was around when most of these old sayings originated, so naturally I’m familiar with them. Very funny.

    DOLLARS TO DOUGHNUTS, for example, is a 19th century pseudo-betting phrase implying short odds (dollars are valuable but doughnuts aren’t), as in this sentence in a February 1876 Nevada newspaper: Whenever you hear any resident of a community attempting to decry the local paper…it’s dollars to doughnuts that such a person is either mad at the editor, or is owing the office for subscription or advertising.

    Well, I’ve got news for you — I wasn’t around in 1876, but I still knew the phrase. How familiar are you with old sayings such as these (just to make it interesting, all but one of the following have a slightly altered word or two; if you can make the appropriate corrections, I’ll admit that you came up smelling like a tokus — I mean, like a rose):

    1. A bird in the hand is worth two in the blue.
    2. It ain’t over, still the fat lady sings.
    3. It’s all over but the shooting.
    4. The best laid plans of mice and men oft go oy vey.
    5. A stitch in time saves a dime.

    6. A picture is worth a thousand turds.
    7. All good things come to those who can’t wait.
    8. All is fair in love and divorce.
    9. Behind every Dodge Stratus there’s a Silverado.
    10. Better late than whatever.

    11. He who hesitates is last.
    12. Neither rhyme nor treason.
    13. Blood is thicker than liquor.
    14. Don’t change houses in the middle of the storm.
    15. No rest for the wicked.

    And now, if you’ll pardon me, it’s time for my nap.

     

     

     

     

     
    • DoesItEvenMatterWhoIAm? 5:31 pm on June 1, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Nice lol! 😂

      Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse 8:15 pm on June 1, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      I guess you’ll just have to settle for a cigar! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • DoesItEvenMatterWhoIAm? 9:18 pm on June 1, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        Damned if I don’t have two of them growing mold in my humidor… I hate living in an apartment that makes me hike out to the street to smoke. I don’t want to sit on the curb to enjoy a good cigar…

        Like

    • mistermuse 10:41 pm on June 1, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Ever ready to come to the aid of a damsel in distress, my suggestion is to buy cheap cigars so that when they grow moldy and unsmokable, you’ve saved money.

      Like

    • BroadBlogs 2:00 pm on June 2, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      I have heard the phrase before. But I’d never known what it meant. Interesting! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse 4:33 pm on June 2, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Thanks. Perhaps I should take this occasion to report the correct words to replace the alterations I made in the first 14 sayings (just in case anyone’s curious about any they didn’t know):

      1. bush (instead of blue) 2. till (instead of , still) 3. shouting (instead of shooting) 4. awry (instead of oi vey) 5. nine (instead of a dime)

      6. words (instead of turds) 7. wait (instead of can’t wait) 8. war (instead of divorce) 9. cloud (instead of Dodge Stratus); silver lining (instead of Silverado) 10. never (instead of whatever)

      11. lost (instead of last) 12. reason (instead of treason) 13. water (instead of liquor) 14. horses (instead of houses); stream (instead of storm)

      Like

    • Don Frankel 7:22 pm on June 2, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      The Opera may not be over until the Fat Lady sings and the best laid schemes of mice and men Gang aft agley but nice guys finish, somewhere.

      Like

    • mistermuse 9:21 pm on June 2, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      “Nobody goes there anymore. lt’s too crowded.” –Yogi Berra

      Like

    • Don Frankel 4:58 am on June 4, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      “Some guys don’t like to swing on a 3 – 0 pitch because they swing.” Yogi Berra. Unlike a lot of Yogisms that he may or may not have actually said, I heard him say that one.

      Like

    • mistermuse 6:38 am on June 4, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      That reminds me of this Yogism: “I never said most of the things I said.” You gotta love it!

      Like

    • arekhill1 6:02 pm on June 10, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      With the price of a decent doughnut well over a buck nowadays, it’s no wonder no one uses that old saw anymore.

      Like

    • mistermuse 7:03 pm on June 10, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      There’s not a hole lot I can say about that….and probably it’s just as well.

      Like

  • mistermuse 3:10 pm on January 26, 2015 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , , , , , Proverbs   

    REIGNING CATS & DOGS TODAY 

    According to a recent article in the Cincinnati Enquirer, “Frank, a cat, lay sick as a dog” and “in critical need of care”at a local boarding kennel a few years ago, while the cat’s owners were out of the country. They could not be reached, so the kennel’s owner rushed Frank to a 24-hour facility “which is like the Mayo Clinic for animals” instead of his regular veterinarian.

    The “Mayo Clinic” saved Frank (so-named after Ol’ Blue Eyes, Frank Sinatra), but when his owners returned home and went to pick him up, the bill was $2,600+ more than their regular vet would’ve charged. Long story short, owners hired attorney, sued kennel owner. Case finally comes to a hearing January 2015. Verdict: kennel had acted reasonably. Frank’s owners not only lost the case, they lost Frank, who had died in the meantime. They now have a dog.

    What am I make to of all this? Another post about old sayings and proverbs, of course….but limited to cats and dogs — though human readers are welcome to tag along too. This being a pet-friendly site, there will be some doggone purrfect quotes but no trick sayings thrown in (as was the case in my Jan. 23 post GEORGE (STILL) ON MY MIND). Today, cats and dogs reign!

    The dog may be wonderful prose, but only the cat is poetry. –French proverb

    Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. —Jeff Valdez

    Cats were put into the world to disprove the dogma that all things were created to serve man. –Paul Gray

    No mater how much the cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens. —Abraham Lincoln (who apparently didn’t feel free to say the same of humans)

    The cat loves fish, but is loath to wet her feet. –English proverb

    The man who carries a cat by the tail learns something that can be learned in no other way. —Mark Twain

    You own a dog but you feed a cat. –Jenny de Vries

    A cat is the only domestic animal I know who toilet trains itself and does a damned impressive job of it. –Joseph Epstein

    In order to keep a true perspective of one’s importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him. –Dereke Bruce

    The cat is domestic only as far as suits its ends. –Saki

    Speaking of ends….

     

     

     

     

     
    • arekhill1 3:30 pm on January 26, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      No one who sends me an unexpected $2600 bill can expect me to act reasonably.

      Liked by 2 people

      • Joseph Nebus 11:28 pm on January 26, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        I have to agree there. My unexpected-bill-reasonableness tops out pretty well below $2600. I say this after an unexpected-bill for about $600 in car repairs a few months ago that I’m still twitching over. (We saved the car.)

        Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse 5:54 pm on January 26, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      I don’t know who’s picture is on a $2600 bill (maybe Frank Sinatra’s?), but I’d investigate — it might be counterfeit.

      Like

    • Michaeline Montezinos 6:59 pm on January 26, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      I thought the quotes were funny and cute. Especially since I have such ‘fond’ memories of all the cats and dogs my daughter brought home. Not to mention the gerbils, a hamster, a guinea pig, and a blue parakeet cleverly named “Birdie.” The reason I remember Birdie is when he finally dropped dead in its cage (literally,) my daughter was so inconsolable. So I proceeded to pretend to give the bird CPR. I guess she thought I could bring the poor thing back to life. Sigh!

      Like

    • mistermuse 9:08 pm on January 26, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Well, there are men named Manny, so it seems perfectly logical to call a bird Birdy….or, for that matter, call a gerbil Gertie or Billy, a hamster Hammy, and a guinea pig Piggy. I don’t know about a fish, however – that might sound Fishy.

      Like

    • Don Frankel 9:20 am on January 27, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      I would say this is purrfect.

      Muse, Sinatra is on the $2,000 dollar bill.

      Like

    • mistermuse 11:10 am on January 27, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Thanks, Don. I should point out, just for the record, that the “Mayo Clinic for animals” bill was $3,800. $2,600 was the amount over and above the $1,200 Frank’s regular vet testified he would’ve charged for the same procedure. But the Sinatra angle is pertinent because the cat had blue eyes, which is why his owners named him Frank, and since there was no $2,600 bill for Sinatra to be on, I’m glad to know he’s on the $2,000 bill.

      Like

      • Michaeline Montezinos 9:09 pm on January 27, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        I thought your renaming of the exotic pets was special, Muse. I know you are more into jazz and the good songs of the 20’s and 30’s. This is not a fish tail but a true story linked to a “famous musical icon” of the past century.

        We had five goldfish we inherited from illegal aliens who were evicted. Eventually they shared the aquarium with the turtle and some tropical fish. My daughter took the aquarium to her house after we got tired of cleaning it.

        Later she discovered one of the goldfish had turned completely white but his brothers remained the same color. Thereafter, they were known as the Jackson Five. The white fish was tagged as Michael Jackson. When that fish (not named Wanda) died years later, we did not bury him in a sacred cat fur blanket. Michael would’ve hated that.

        Like

    • mistermuse 10:42 pm on January 27, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Good story. For those not familiar with it, “A Fish Called Wanda” was a very funny early ’80s movie starring a Cleese called John, a Curtis called Jamie Lee, and a Kline called Kevin. As for a Jackson named Michael, the best I can say is, to each his own.

      Like

    • imaginenewdesigns12 1:19 am on January 31, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Thank you for liking “The Blue Hour,” “Twilight,” and “Snowstorm.” I like your post, especially the quotes. My cats are demanding pets, but at least they give me a lot of affection in return. I can see in their eyes how grateful they are that I take care of them (except when I take them to the vet for shots and medical treatment). 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  • mistermuse 5:41 pm on February 2, 2014 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: beggars, epigrams, love of words, Ovid, passersby, , Proverbs,   

    WILL WORK FOR SMALL PRAISE 

    Beggars can’t be choosers. –Ancient proverb

    Like an exiled Ovid

    turned itinerate street beggar

    a poet must love words although

    knowing that few passersby

    will love words the same way.

     
  • mistermuse 7:28 pm on February 5, 2013 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: Proverbs   

    PROVERBS I LIKE 

    A lie becomes true when one believes it. –German proverb

    The more one knows, the less one believes. –Italian proverb

    Some have been thought brave because they were afraid to run away. –English proverb

    If you would call the dog to you, do not carry a stick. –West African proverb

    We should weep for men at their birth, not at their death. –French proverb

    What little Hans didn’t learn, big Hans doesn’t know. –German proverb

    It is necessary to start from a truth in order to teach an error. –French proverb

     

     
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