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  • mistermuse 1:05 am on September 10, 2020 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , , , , Peter Pan, poetry, , , ,   

    YOU ASKED FOR IT! YOU GOT IT! 

    My last post featured poetry which one of you commented that you wanted more of. So, it is by popular demand (who am I to deny my adoring readers?) that my Fats friend and I are bound to reply:

    The initials of that reader are mm. No, mistermuse isn’t the mm who asked for more. If you must know, it was magicmermaid, who I assume is a real person (not that mistermuse isn’t real — as real, at least, as magicmermaid….or as you, for that matter). You are real, aren’t you? — if not, just pretend you are, because mistermuse can use the reassurance.

    THE FAUX PAS OF POSITIVE THINKING

    “Doubt is not a pleasant mental state, but certainty is a ridiculous one.” –Voltaire

    I can live with
    Uncertainty and doubt —
    It’s know-it-alls
    I have my doubts about.

    THE PETER PRINCIPLE

    “I am not young enough to know everything.” –Sir James M. Barrie (author of the play subtitled The Boy Who Wouldn’t Grow Up)

    Sorry that things didn’t quite Pan out
    (except in Neverland….or thereabout).

    HOW TO BETTER CULTIVATE KNOWLEDGE

    “Scholars esteem knowledge not for its use in attaining other values, but as a value in itself.” –Max Eastman

    Know,
    Weigh,

    Hoe
    Say.

    KNOW PROBLEM

    “If reality wants to get in touch, it knows where I am.” –Phil Proctor

    But if reality says,
    “Hello there, it’s me” —
    How would you know
    Absent a show of real ID?

     

     

     

     

     

     

     
    • Notes To Ponder 2:14 am on September 10, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Most excellent. 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

    • obbverse 3:03 am on September 10, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Enjoyed the wordplay muchly. May I add an offering on Peter Pan?
      See Ya Late-
      Pity poor pre-adolescent Peter Pan,
      Never fated to become a full grown man-
      Sadly remembered as a smart-mouthed juvenile,
      NOW he’d say ‘kids, don’t ever bait the crocodile.”

      Liked by 1 person

    • Rivergirl 7:15 am on September 10, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      “I’m not young enough to know everything” is a wonderful quote!

      Liked by 2 people

    • magickmermaid 10:34 am on September 10, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Thanks, MisterMuse! I wish everyone would follow my suggestions so readily. 😀
      Yet another reason why I don’t have a webcam. All and sundry would have seen me hopping around the livingroom to the Fats Waller tune! If he can’t make you dance, no one will!

      Liked by 3 people

    • Rosaliene Bacchus 3:13 pm on September 10, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Love them all, MisterMuse, especially “The Faux Pas of Positive Thinking” 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 3:36 pm on September 10, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        Likewise, Rosaliene. I was kind of partial to “Know Weigh Hose Say”….but when José say “No way!”, I changed my mind.

        Liked by 1 person

    • annieasksyou 11:11 pm on September 10, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      When magickmermaid, the Siren
      Called mistermuse to play
      The result was a fun environ
      So, “yes way,” I say.

      Liked by 2 people

      • mistermuse 12:47 am on September 11, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        I didn’t know you’re a poet —
        Or should I say, a poetess.,,,
        But any way you weigh it,
        You’re no damsel in distress.

        Liked by 1 person

    • calmkate 2:14 am on September 11, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      very clever … I’m sure I’ve asked for more overtime … guess I dont have the magic touch!

      Liked by 1 person

    • Elizabeth 4:56 pm on September 12, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      I am not sure if I like the first one best or not. Better not be sure!

      Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse 6:09 pm on September 12, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      I’m not sure how to respond to that, Elizabeth — but I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt. 😉

      Like

    • masercot 8:45 am on September 14, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      The outcome is most obscure
      unless I’m sure

      When my confidence is at its height
      I probably haven’t done anything right…

      Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse 11:42 am on September 14, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Compared to Trump,
      you’re ahead of the game —
      he NEVER does anything right
      and he’s never ever to blame.

      Liked by 1 person

    • arekhill1 10:32 am on September 15, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      If there ever was a year that reality got in touch, it’s this one, Sr. Muse.

      Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse 3:49 pm on September 15, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      I fear the worst of the year is yet to come after Nov. 3, no matter the election results.

      Like

  • mistermuse 1:01 am on September 5, 2020 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: groundhog, , , platitudes, poetry, , ,   

    FOR THE TIME BEING 

    It’s been some time since I laid some poetry on you, but all good things must end (i.e., your luck has run out). What I’m getting at is, I’ve decided to resurrect a few old poems, as well as come up with a new one or two. If you object, you have the right to remain Soylent* because….

    *Soylent: foodstuff made of soybeans and lentils

    A POEM OF EXCEPTIONAL TASTE

    Soybeans and lentils — what a treat!
    I can think of nothing I’d rather eat!*
    Just savor the flavor — they can’t be beat*….
    But then, I’m a groundhog, so I don’t eat meat.

    *except for watermelon: https://riversworld.live/2020/09/04/summer-means-watermelon/

    I’LL TAKE A BRAINCHECK

    “The difference between intelligence and wisdom is that intelligence is knowing half of what you hear or read is garbage, and wisdom is knowing which half.” –Seymour Fisher

    From dilemmas of that class,
    You’ll have to exempt me —
    I’m still stuck on “Is the glass
    Half full or half empty?”

    WISE-ASS PLATITUDES

    Utmost is the wisdom of the platitude —
    But most, sadly, are lacking in latitude.
    Is there never need for deviance?
    I think I shall file a grieviance!
    The grounds? Let’s just say they have an ATTITUDE.

    LONG TIME, NO SEE

    Youth is the stuff of time and place
    The race of years cannot erase,
    Seen through eyes too unwise to see
    That all was not what it seemed to be.

    Age is the stuff of hedging bets,
    Of things undone and old regrets,
    Seeing ourselves as others do,
    Thinking “And so, what else is new?”

     

     
    • blindzanygirl 1:17 am on September 5, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Brilliant. I love ‘em

      Liked by 5 people

    • calmkate 2:48 am on September 5, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      give me lentils and soybeans any day … love SFs quote, says it all!
      Like the clip 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

      • mistermuse 6:56 am on September 5, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        That’s not the first time I’ve used that song. Here’s the clip of I DON’T CARE (sung by Judy Garland) in a post from Jan. 2019:

        Liked by 2 people

    • rawgod 4:03 am on September 5, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      • Just curious, was the soylent green? or just silent?

      And might I suggest ATTITUDE with an ATTTITTUDDE, dude?

      Liked by 2 people

      • mistermuse 7:17 am on September 5, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        Maybe this answers your first question:

        Your second question is a bit of a stretch, in my HUMBLE opinion.

        Like

    • Rivergirl 7:05 am on September 5, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Ode to a woodchuck?
      Love it!

      Liked by 2 people

      • rawgod 9:38 am on September 5, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        Actually, Owed to a Woodchuck! But as usual for non-humans, the woodchuck never got the royalties…

        Liked by 1 person

        • mistermuse 10:00 am on September 5, 2020 Permalink

          Rivergirl did share her watermelon with the woodchucks, to whom I’m sure watermelon in the paws is worth royalties in the bush.

          Like

    • Rivergirl 7:13 am on September 5, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Immortalized in poem?
      The woodchucks are honored.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Eliza 5:35 pm on September 5, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      This made me smile
      I like the definition of wisdom…

      Liked by 2 people

    • magickmermaid 6:19 pm on September 5, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      One of the worst films I’ve ever seen was that terrible one called Soylent Green.
      I didn’t know I had a theme song. 🙂
      More poetry, please!

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 6:56 pm on September 5, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        “More poetry”? You talked me into it, mm — more poetry coming up (but I won’t say how soon, as I don’t want to lose any readers who haven’t recovered from this post yet).

        As for your “theme song,” here’s an alternative in case you want to upgrade from I DON’T CARE:

        Like

    • arekhill1 4:39 pm on September 6, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Nicely written, Sr. Muse.

      Liked by 2 people

      • mistermuse 6:19 pm on September 6, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        Gracias, Ricardo. As the lyrics of the above song say, “I should care — and I do.”

        Like

    • Ana Daksina 1:41 pm on September 15, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      I have no grieviance with this work!

      PS — The reader who wants “more poetry” is a keeper

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 4:11 pm on September 15, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        Thanks, Ana. Actually, all my readers (including you) are keepers….and even though I enjoy my job as a “you” keeper and get well paid in Likes and Comments, I wouldn’t object to an occasional cash bonus! 😉

        Liked by 1 person

        • Ana Daksina 9:17 pm on September 15, 2020 Permalink

          You’d have no greviance with it? 🤣

          Liked by 1 person

        • mistermuse 10:09 pm on September 15, 2020 Permalink

          If by “it”, you mean my previous comment, I do have second thoughts, in that (unlike “grieviance” in the WISE-ASS PLATITUDES poem in the post) it didn’t come off as well as I intended. Even so, I won’t turn down an “additional cash bonus” for trying.

          Like

    • masercot 11:47 am on September 16, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      That first one had Rivergirl written all over it…

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 12:34 pm on September 16, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        You got that ‘write’ — her SUMMER MEANS WATERMELON post of Sept. 4 was my ‘inspiration’ for the first poem.

        Like

  • mistermuse 1:06 am on August 20, 2020 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , poetry, ,   

    TRUMP IN A NUTSHELL 

    He can’t bother to feel his fellow man’s pain —
    It means nothing to him, if there’s nothing to gain.

    He has no need to keep track of his legion of lies —
    Who can keep up with/swat down ceaseless swarms of flies?

    He doesn’t believe that certain ‘difFerEnt’ people belong —
    He doesn’t even see difference between right and wrong.

    What does he believe? That’s easy to see —
    He believes above all that “It’s all about ME.”

     

     

     
  • mistermuse 12:08 am on April 17, 2020 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , poetry,   

    HAIKU!….GESUNDHEIT! 

    Pardon me while I celebrate INTERNATIONAL HAIKU POETRY DAY. Haiku, as you know, is a three-line poem of 5, 7, and 5 syllables, which happens to total 17, which happens to be this day of the month, which happens to be INTERNATIONAL I-Already-Told-You-What DAY. So, here are a few lowbrow examples of haiku, guaranteed to ruin your appetite for haiku for the for-eatable future. If you have trouble swallowing any of these, feel free to wash it down with a swig of your favorite beverage, followed by a quart of milk of magnesia. If that doesn’t relieve your groan, you’re on your own.

    ONE TOO MANY (syllables)

    Excuses may be
    easy to make…but they don’t
    make up for your mistake.

    A NEAR MYTH

    Once upon a time
    I tried to make a haiku
    rhyme. Maybe next time.

    HAIKU ON THE HUSTINGS

    Politician beams,
    waves to crowd of strange faces…
    he’s been here before.

    Had enough? Believe it or not, it could always be worse:

     

     

     

     
  • mistermuse 12:01 am on January 31, 2019 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , homelessness, , poetry, regret, , turning points,   

    READ MY LIPS POEM 

    Here in the American Midwest, waking up to sub-zero lows the past few mornings reminded me of a poem I wrote one January more than two dozen frozen winters ago, titled WINTERDREAM….so I dug the poem out of cold storage, blew the snow (or was it dust?) off it, and re-read it for the first time in some time. As I did, it dawned on me that, although published before (both in paper journals and online), perhaps it could stand one more exposure. Then, near poem’s end, I re-came upon the word “lips”….and that settled it (reference the last two sentences of my last post, LIPS SERVICE). Here, then, one last time, is….

    WINTERDREAM

    Suppose a homeless man
    found a tattered hat,
    abandoned, like himself,
    to the elements….
    and in that tattered hat,
    tucked inside the band,
    a winning lottery ticket
    could transform his life;

    but first, he must see it –
    and then, seeing it,
    not toss it to the wind,
    as life had tossed him.
    Let us further suppose
    the deadline to claim
    its prize came at midnight
    of that very day.

    That night, in winter’s turn,
    the man had a dream
    that he could live his life
    starting all over again,
    knowing as much at birth
    as he knew this moment,
    so that all the choices
    and hidden chances
    of wasted turning points
    lay exhumed ahead….

    but the thought made him
    cringe: regret was a fire
    that gave pain without heat.
    He awoke in cold sweat
    to the taste of blown snow
    on the cracks of his lips,
    and pulled down the brim
    of yesterday’s fortune.
    What luck to have found
    a buffer against fate.

     

     

     
  • mistermuse 1:04 pm on August 28, 2018 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: cowards, deal with the devil, , Hamlet, , , , poetry, , slings and arrows,   

    TO SEE OR NOT TO SEE, THAT IS THE QUESTION* 

    To see or not to see, that is the question:
    Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to look past
    The slings and arrows of outrageous tweets
    And excuse the lies and insults of our imperial Don,
    So long as such doth advance our noble cause
    And lead us back to the glory of righteous times,
    Devoutly to be wish’d. Ay, there’s the rub:
    For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
    Th’opressor’s wrong, the proud man’s contumely,
    The pangs of dispriz’d love, the law’s delay,
    The insolence of office, and the unworthy spurns,
    And makes us rather bear those ills we have
    Than fly to others that we know not of?
    Thus devil-deals doth make cowards of us all
    And enterprises of great pitch and moment
    Lie paraded, bare and exposed for all but us to see.

    *with appreciation, but no apologies, to Shakespeare

     

     

     

     
    • masercot 1:14 pm on August 28, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      You spoke that trippingly on the tongue…

      Liked by 4 people

    • Carmen 1:48 pm on August 28, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      Agreed, mistermuse. His lies doth offend the nose. (If not the GOP’s)

      Liked by 2 people

    • The Coastal Crone 5:19 pm on August 28, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      I think he “doth protest too much!” Well done & no tweet needed.

      Liked by 2 people

      • mistermuse 11:31 am on August 29, 2018 Permalink | Reply

        I thank one and all for your comments, as we look forward to the day when “that’s all he (me) wrote” re a deposed Lyin’ King.

        Like

    • Richard A Cahill 4:34 pm on August 29, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      May he receive all the slings and arrows of misfortune he merits, Sr. Muse.

      Liked by 3 people

    • restlessjo 5:49 pm on August 29, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      I think the Bard would approve. He made a living from being forthright, while staying on the ‘right side’. 🙂 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

    • Paul Sunstone 10:40 pm on August 29, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      Not my favorite subject, the Don, these days. But well done. A very clever idea well executed.

      Liked by 2 people

      • mistermuse 9:14 am on August 30, 2018 Permalink | Reply

        Thanks, Paul. I hope I have applied Shakespeare to more learned purpose than this:

        “To know the force of human genius we should read Shakespeare; to see the insignificance of human learning we may study his commentators.” –William Hazlitt

        Liked by 1 person

  • mistermuse 1:13 pm on June 23, 2018 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , , , , , poetry,   

    TIME FLIES 

    It is said that “Time flies when you’re having fun.” As for me, time flies when you can’t believe a certain young woman and I will celebrate our 50th wedding anniversary this fall, and next year on June 23, the oldest of our two daughters (Big One and Little One) will celebrate(?) her 50th birthday. How is it possible that one day the young woman and I got married, and the next thing we know, our girls are older than my oldest clothes (though not by much). Time and fun fly when ‘hangers-on’ in the closet look the same as decades ago….but the reflection in the mirror looks like Methuselah’s grandfather. 😦

    The moral of the story?

    Gather ye rosebuds while ye may,
    Old Time is still a-flying;
    And this same flower that smiles today
    Tomorrow will be dying.

    Then be not coy, but use your time
    And while ye may, go marry;
    For having lost but once your prime,
    You may forever tarry.

    –Robert Herrick (from his poem TO THE VIRGINS, TO MAKE MUCH OF TIME, 1648)

    In other words, take the advice of legendary songwriter Irving Berlin (1888-1989) and….

    Oh….I almost forgot: Happy 49th Birthday, Big One!

     

     

     
    • arekhill1 2:05 pm on June 23, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      I’m the eldest of seven, Sr. Muse, and a honeymoon baby like Big One. My mother is continually startled by how old I am.

      Liked by 3 people

      • mistermuse 4:03 pm on June 23, 2018 Permalink | Reply

        I lost my mother years ago, Ricardo, but I’m sure she would react the same as yours if she were still alive.

        Like

    • calmkate 3:34 pm on June 23, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      lol wow 50 years is most impressive! Well done both of you, love the song …

      Liked by 2 people

      • mistermuse 4:07 pm on June 23, 2018 Permalink | Reply

        Thank you, Kate. The song is one of Irving Berlin’s lesser-known ones but, I think, one of his best, despite (or maybe because of) its simplicity.

        Liked by 1 person

    • scifihammy 8:17 am on June 24, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      Time does fly!
      Happy Golden Anniversary for later this year. 🙂

      Liked by 3 people

    • Don Frankel 9:51 am on June 24, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      Happy Anniversary Mister and Mrs Muse. Guess it is safe to say…

      Liked by 2 people

      • mistermuse 11:02 am on June 24, 2018 Permalink | Reply

        Thanks, Don. I guess, having made it through the first 50 years, Mister and Mrs. Muse can make it through the next 50….and then we’ll be in better position to see if we can handle Everlasting.

        Like

    • pjlazos 6:46 am on June 25, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      So many milestones! Have fun!! Oh, and time is all happening at once so re-live it at your leisure. 😘

      Liked by 2 people

    • D. Wallace Peach 2:53 pm on June 25, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      Time does fly, doesn’t it? I went to my grandson’s 5th birthday party yesterday. He’s starting school in the fall. How did that happen? He was just born last week. 🙂
      An early Happy Anniversary, and Happy Birthday to the Big One.

      Liked by 2 people

      • mistermuse 6:39 pm on June 25, 2018 Permalink | Reply

        How lucky can you be, to have a grandchild of that age (or any age), Diana. Enjoy his childhood “while ye may,” because TIME FLIES! And thank you for the Anniversary and Birthday wishes.

        Liked by 1 person

    • RMW 12:50 am on June 29, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      Fifty years of wedded bliss…. congrats…. that’s a lot of cat lifetimes. I actually had to use the calculator to figure out what year that was… 1968. For me, life is a lot better now.

      Liked by 1 person

    • barkinginthedark 1:20 am on July 6, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      Thank you MM for all the reading…I love this music and thanks for the follow. Barking in the Dark will always endeavor to inform, agitate and, above all, amuse. continue…

      Liked by 1 person

    • Kally 7:15 am on July 7, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      Love this song. Advance congratulations to your anniversary and a loving wish for your elder one’s birthday.

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 8:30 am on July 7, 2018 Permalink | Reply

        Thanks, Kally. You remind me of the Dr. Pepper commercial on TV–you’re “the sweet one.” 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

        • Kally 10:16 am on July 7, 2018 Permalink

          Awwww! I haven’t seen that commercial. We don’t have Dr. Pepper over here but I Guess I’ll YouTube to find out which one! 🙂

          Liked by 1 person

    • Silver Screenings 1:26 pm on July 8, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      Every day is a good day for Art Landry & Co., in my opinion.

      Hey, Congrats on your upcoming 50th Anniversay! Woohoo! That is a remarkable achievement.

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 3:31 pm on July 8, 2018 Permalink | Reply

        Thanks, S.S.

        Art Landry’s was one of many popular big bands back in the Roaring Twenties. I should probably devote a post or two to remembering some of them: Paul Whiteman, Fred Waring, Ben Selvin, Leo Reisman, George Olsen, etc.

        Liked by 1 person

    • franklparker 11:49 am on August 16, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      Loved this. You may have beaten to 80 by a year three but I claim victory in the marriage duration stakes and having a child over 50. (55 and 53 respectively this September). Must follow you and read more of your poetry and politics.

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 11:59 am on August 16, 2018 Permalink | Reply

        Thanks, Frank. I, too, must read more of your posts as time permits — as if it ever does….so I’ll just have to take time and like it (which shouldn’t be too difficult, based on what I’ve read so far).

        Like

  • mistermuse 9:39 am on June 17, 2018 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , cursive writing, Egyptians, , hieroglyphics, , physicians, poetry, Sumerians   

    THE WRITE BROTHERS 

    Ancient Sumerians wrote in cuneiform;
    Ancient Egyptians wrote in hieroglyphics.
    Ancient Americans write in cursive form;
    Impatient physicians write in hieroglyphics.

    As an ancient American who still writes poems in cursive form, I wish my fellow fathers everywhere a Happy Father’s Day. 

     
  • mistermuse 12:02 am on April 11, 2018 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , , , , National Poetry Month, poetry, , ,   

    ZEE POET OR ZEE COMIC – WHICH EEZ MORE MORONIC? 

    In my April Fools’ Day post, I noted that April is NATIONAL HUMOR MONTH. As a poet of sorts, wouldn’t it be funny if April also happened to be NATIONAL POETRY MONTH?

    Well, as you might guess,
    it turns out that, yes,
    that is the case….
    and this is the place
    where poetry and funny
    join together as oney
    until death do them party
    or are doomed from the starty
    by comic rigor mortis
    or a poet out of sortis.

    Oui, mon ami — this is going to be a post which joins zee art of zee poet with zee art of zee comic, and if you don’t like zee combinaison, you can lump eet. What’s more, I’ll do more such posts, zee likes of which will have you begging for merci. So if you know what’s not good for you, you’ll take eet and like eet….or take eet and fake eet. I’m not particular. (I’m also not hungry — I think I eet too much.)

    Understand, I’m not one of those poets who doesn’t understand what he has written, but somehow expects zee reader to. Non, mon ami, I understand perfectly what I have written. It’s YOU who I expect hasn’t a clue. Why is that true? I have no clue. And, frankly my dear, I don’t give a fous (pardon my French).

    Unfortunately, I see that my allotted time for this post is almost up, so zee funny poems I was going to publish here must wait until next time, for which I apologize. Thank you for your very kind attention….or, as zee Hoosier Hot Shots more etiquettely and poetically put it:

     
    • Carmen 8:57 am on April 11, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      This eez zee best, meeztermuse. 🙂

      Liked by 5 people

      • mistermuse 9:28 am on April 11, 2018 Permalink | Reply

        Merci!

        P.S. Sorry I can’t think of a way to French fry — I mean Frenchify — YOUR name, Carmen! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

    • Don Frankel 11:29 am on April 11, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      Tres bien Monsieur Muse. J’aime tellement ca.

      Liked by 3 people

    • arekhill1 3:09 pm on April 11, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      Zee comic is more moronic, Sr. Muse. Ask any of my critics. but I’m happy to split the month with you.

      Liked by 5 people

      • mistermuse 6:56 pm on April 11, 2018 Permalink | Reply

        Ricardo, we can both take consolation from knowing that we could never aspire to the moronic heights of zee politician.

        Liked by 2 people

    • RMW 11:58 am on April 15, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      Gotta love those Hoosiers… the singer was also one hot shot clarinet player…

      Liked by 4 people

      • mistermuse 1:04 pm on April 15, 2018 Permalink | Reply

        I must admit to loving those Hoosiers too. I can’t think of any other reason why I own dozens of Hoosier Hot Shots 78 rpm records, LPs and CDs. There may appear to be cornball musicians, but they’re actually very talented. Good singing and harmony, too.

        Liked by 1 person

    • chattykerry 3:11 pm on April 18, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      Monsieur Muse, votre frivolité m’amuse!

      Liked by 3 people

    • calmkate 6:06 pm on May 24, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      lol made me laugh … great music choice 😉

      Liked by 2 people

    • Ana Daksina 10:29 pm on September 15, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      … does “fous” mean what I think it does? 😌

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 10:50 pm on September 15, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        It means what Clark Gable said in English in GONE WITH THE WIND, though my version admittedly loses something in translation. C’est la vie.

        Liked by 1 person

        • Ana Daksina 2:18 pm on September 16, 2020 Permalink

          Oh, just that… You see, in Portugal, where my mother grew up, the slang word for unpleasant things that make sounds like “fous” is “phung” (not sure I have the spelling correctly but the phonetics are spot on)…

          Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 3:42 pm on September 17, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        Ana, in re-reading my 1:31 reply to your comment yesterday, I think it was awkward at best, and I apologize for not giving it more thought.

        Like

    • mistermuse 2:31 pm on September 16, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      No problem. I understand that many of my readers aren’t American and may not make the connection with some of my wordplay, so I appreciate your comments.

      Like

  • mistermuse 12:01 am on March 17, 2018 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , , , , Irish curses, , petulance, poetry, , , savoir faire,   

    VERSES WITH CURSES 

    Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

    May the devil write your obituary in weasel’s piss. –old Irish curse

    Hold on — how did that get there? Either the devil made me do it, or me computer is up to no good (which wouldn’t be the first time). To be sure, me fine lads and lassies, this post is about curses in verses, but a curse alone does not a poem make. As for that derelict curse above, there are no weasels in Ireland unless you count the sloat (which is often mistaken for a weasel) or the lowly human (which often acts like a weasel, but technically is not).

    Be that as it may, I haven’t got all (St. Patrick’s) day, so let’s get on with it. Here is a cultivated selection of VERSES WITH CURSES which, not least among its Hibernian virtues, could serve to show America’s petulant President how to insult his inferiors with a bit more savoir fairy (class, in plain English) than is typical in his limited vocabulary:

    THE CURSE by John Millington Synge

    Lord, confound this surly sister,
    Blight her brow with blotch and blister,
    Cramp her larynx, lung, and liver,
    In her guts a galling give her.

    Let her live to earn her dinners
    In Mountjoy with seedy sinners:
    Lord, this judgment quickly bring,
    And I’m your servant, J. M. Synge.

    from THE CURSE OF DONERAILE by Patrick O’Kelly

    Alas! how dismal is my tale,
    I lost my watch in Doneraile.
    My Dublin watch, my chain and seal,
    Pilfered at once in Doneraile.
    May Fire and Brimstone never fail,
    To fall in showers on Doneraile.
    May all the leading fiends assail
    The thieving town of Doneraile,
    As lightnings flash across the vale,
    So down to Hell with Doneraile.
    The fate of Pompey at Pharsale,
    Be that the curse of Doneraile.
    May beef, or mutton, lamb or veal
    Be never found in Doneraile,
    But garlic soup and scurvy kale
    Be still the food of Doneraile.
    And forward as the creeping snail,
    Th’ industry be, of Doneraile.
    May ev’ry churn and milking pail
    Fall dry to staves in Doneraile.
    May cold and hunger still congeal
    The stagnant blood of Doneraile.
    May ev’ry hour new woes reveal
    That Hell reserves for Doneraile.
    May ev’ry chosen ill prevail
    O’er all the imps of Doneraile.
    May not one prayer or wish avail
    To sooth the woes of Doneraile.
    May the Inquisition straight impale
    The rapparees of Doneraile.
    May curse of Sodom now prevail
    And sink to ashes Doneraile.
    May Charon’s Boat triumphant sail
    Completely manned from Doneraile.
    Oh! may my couplets never fail
    To find new curse for Doneraile.
    And may grim Pluto’s inner jail
    Forever groan with Doneraile.

    RIGHTEOUS ANGER by James Stephens

    The lanky hank of a she over there
    Nearly killed me for asking the loan of a glass of beer:
    May the devil grip the whey-faced slut by the hair,
    And beat bad manners out of her skin for a year.

    That parboiled imp, with the hardest jaw you will see
    On virtue’s path, and a voice that would rasp the dead,
    Came roaring and raging the minute she looked on me,
    And threw me out of the house on the back of my head!

    If I asked her master, he’d give me a cask a day;
    But she, with the beer at hand, not a gill would arrange!
    May she marry a ghost and bear him a kitten, and may
    The High King of Glory permit her to get the mange.

    THE CURSE OF NOT BEING IRISH by mister O’muse

    And so we can see, Donald T.,
    What the problem may well be:
    In your entire immigrant ancestry,
    Of Irish blood, you’re entirely free.

    But on St. Patrick’s Day, luckily,
    Every man is an Irishman, glory be!
    So depart for today from your family tree,
    Uproot this curse, branch out, and be free!

    From ass act to class act, verily
    This very day, you can transformed be….
    Therefore, by virtue of the Irish in me,
    I dub thee, please God, President Donald O’T.

     

     
    • The Whitechapel Whelk 12:40 am on March 17, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      Happy St Pat’s! May you be in Heaven before The Devil finds out you’re dead.

      Liked by 3 people

    • pendantry 4:54 am on March 17, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      I have no verse for you, but I do have a riddle:
      What’s the difference between a stoat and a weasel?

      (One’s weaselly recognised, the other is stoatally different). Ha Ha.

      Liked by 3 people

    • Garfield Hug 5:46 am on March 17, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      🍀🍀🍀Happy St Pat’s Day🍻🍀🍀🍀😄

      Liked by 2 people

    • GP Cox 8:11 am on March 17, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      Liked by 1 person

    • Carmen 8:24 am on March 17, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      From one person with the Irish in ‘er to another – Happy St. Paddy’s Day! (oh, and the ditty for the Donald O.T is a good ‘un)

      Liked by 1 person

    • Lisa R. Palmer 8:33 am on March 17, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      Lol!! Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

      May the green you wear
      reflect the green you bear
      as good fortune follows you ev’rywhere!

      Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse 11:28 am on March 17, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      I WANT TO THANK ALL WHO COMMENTED. FOR NOW, I’M UNABLE TO REPLY INDIVIDUALLY DUE TO COMPUTER ISSUES, SO PLEASE EXCUSE THIS COLLECTIVE RESPONSE, WHICH IS BEING SENT ON MY DAUGHTER’S COMPUTER. SORRY I CAN’T DO MORE UNTIL THE PROBLEM IS FIXED, BUT IT SEEMS I’M THE VICTIM OF AN IRISH CURSE! WHY ME, LORD (INSTEAD OF THAT INFIDEL, THE DONALD)?

      Like

      • Carmen 12:41 pm on March 17, 2018 Permalink | Reply

        Would mister muse be muted ?? 😉

        Liked by 1 person

        • mistermuse 3:26 pm on March 17, 2018 Permalink

          Carmen, I’m no longer muted — for some mysterious reason, I am suddenly able to log in again, after not being able to do so since yesterday afternoon (I had pre-written the post before the problem, but had to use my daughter’s computer to publish it). They say time heals all things, but this is the first time I heard of time fixing a computer problem. I’m thinking St. Patrick must have interceded with the computer gods on my behalf. 🙂

          Like

        • Carmen 4:10 pm on March 17, 2018 Permalink

          This same thing happened to another blogger friend of mine just the other day — it’s WordPress gremlins, I believe! Glad St. Patrick interceded. . . 🙂

          Liked by 1 person

    • Don Frankel 3:39 pm on March 17, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      Muse, today everyone in New York City is Irish and wearin’ the green. So here’s my toast to you.

      “May your glass ever be, full. May the roof over your head ever, be strong.
      And may we both be in heaven for a half an hour before the Devil knows we’re dead.”

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 11:21 pm on April 8, 2018 Permalink | Reply

        Sorry for the delayed reply, Don. Somehow I overlooked your comment — I must have had a few too many glasses of Stout at the time.

        Like

    • arekhill1 3:58 pm on March 17, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      Will the Savoir Fairy join the leprechaun and the banshee as Irish legends, Sr. Muse? I sincerely hope so.

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 5:31 pm on March 17, 2018 Permalink | Reply

        Only on St. Patrick’s Day, Ricardo. I’d hate to think of the French losing their Savoir Fairy all the other days of the year.

        Like

    • Positively Alyssa 10:20 pm on March 17, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      Happy St. Patrick’s Day!! I hope you have a great evening! I wanted to thank you for liking my post about Forgiveness! I appreciate you reading and I hope you will like more of my posts! I look forward to reading more of yours and hope the rest of your weekend is wonderful!

      Liked by 1 person

    • markscheel1 4:22 pm on March 18, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      Muse,

      I thought I knew poetry, but I’d never run across these! LOL I’ll have to share with my Irish journalist friend, A. J. Nevertheless, I don’t think they’d work for our current POTUS! Wouldn’t fit on a tweet.
      BTW–a friend recommended and lent me a video of the classic ballet film The Red Shoes. Really enjoyed it and thought of you and your love of “the oldies.” Bet you could write something great on that, if you haven’t already! 😉

      Mark

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 9:40 pm on March 18, 2018 Permalink | Reply

        Mark, the only way you could’ve come across the last poem was if you had read my puckish Irish mind, as I just wrote it the day before I published this post. BTW, your Irish journalist friend will no doubt recognize the name of the first poem’s author, John Millington Synge, of PLAYBOY OF THE WESTERN WORLD fame.

        I’ll have to pass on The Red Shoes, as I’m not into ballet, though I understand it’s a great film.

        Like

    • The Coastal Crone 2:15 pm on March 20, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      Thank you for choosing to follow my humble blog! I have enjoyed exploring yours and reading your poem’s for St. Patrick’s Day. Now I know what Donald T’s problem is!

      Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse 5:17 pm on March 20, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      My pleasure, Jo Nell. As for Donald T’s problem, I have to admit it goes far beyond not being Irish, but just for St. Patrick’s Day, I put me Irish blinders on and let it go at that.

      Liked by 1 person

    • RMW 6:30 pm on March 21, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      Ah, a rhyming president.
      If only he was resident!

      That’s all I have…

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 9:18 am on March 22, 2018 Permalink | Reply

        RMW, if you mean resident someplace other than the White House, I am not hesitant — I mean ‘hesident’ — to agree.

        Like

    • Silver Screenings 1:55 pm on March 24, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      Whoa! Some pretty grim stuff here, especially the tirade against Doneraile. I’d sure hate to be a resident of that town…!

      Liked by 1 person

    • kutukamus 7:20 am on March 31, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      Much enjoyed about this very Mr. T
      Wreaking havoc on everybody 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    • barkinginthedark 1:38 am on October 29, 2019 Permalink | Reply

      Alas, no Irish, Drumpf is German
      And begorrah, also vermin

      continue…

      Liked by 1 person

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