I’m a big fan of old sayings, but even I concede that some sayings could no more pass the proverbial smell test than a rodent could pass a spell(ing) test. They may seem innoscent enough, but smellegant isn’t the same as elegant, and you must admit that a proverb like A turd in the hand is worth two in the tush is less than elegant. Really, close encounters of the turd kind could leave you holding your nose….if not checking your rear-view mirror.

That said, are such askew old sayings any less farcical than the twisted tweets America’s Tweeter-in-Chief oft twitters? “Fake news!”…”fake news!”…”fake news!” And if ANYONE can smell (like) a rat when it comes to fake news, it is obviously President Tweety Turd.

Leaving the President’s behind for a moment, here are some classic old sayings. Can you make out the fakeout — aka smell the rat — in these venerable gems?

If it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, and mocks like a mocking bird, duck — it’s The Donald.

A watched pot never boils….but it may get a bit peeved.

A rolling stone gathers no animosity.

A fool and his honey are soon parted.

Faint heart ne’er won bare lady.

Oil and water don’t mix — got that, Slick?

You can’t get blood out of a turnip, but you can get honey out of two-lips.

Monkey pee pee, monkey do do (easy come, easy go).

Dead men tell no tales, but some may leave a will which does.

Friends and would-be heirs, some of the above were almost enough to make me gag, but I can assure your butt that not every old phrase strays in dubious ways. For example:

….and this:

….and this:

Oh….and I almost forgot this old saying: HAPPY NEW YEAR!






  1. Garfield Hug says:

    Happy New Year Mistermuse! Love your “old” sayings🤗

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Carmen says:

    As hubby’s grandmother used to say (referring to the first video), “Those fellas are SOUP-le”. 🙂
    Great videos as usual, mistermuse! (Although the second one wasn’t available -in my country, I assume)
    Meanwhile, here in the Maritimes, we are bringing in the brass monkey at night. Brrrrr. . Happy New Year, eh? 😉

    Liked by 2 people

    • mistermuse says:

      “SOUP-le” sounds like French for “supple.” I’d supple-ment that with something witty, but it’s not supple-meant to be.

      The second video is a 1939 song titled SNUG AS A BUG IN A RUG, which I hope you and your hubby are staying in this “Brrrrr” weather.

      Warmest wishes for the New Year.


      • Carmen says:

        That was the joke. She meant to say ‘supple’, as in ‘can bend easily’ but it came out mispronounced. It was one of those endearing things she said which no one ever corrected – she was a character! 🙂
        We’ve got fires in both the furnace and the kitchen wood range. . . we’re managing! Even took the kids on a not-exactly-sleigh-ride yesterday (it was a balmy minus 8 C) — a trailer hooked to an old tractor, complete with straw bales and blankets. Seventeen children, eight on down to eight months, thought it was a great time!

        Liked by 1 person

  3. mistermuse says:

    That “sleigh ride” sounds like a blast (of cold air), but who cares about the cold when you’re “eight on down.” It’s a different story when you’re eighty on up….but it beats the alternative of being six feet under. 😦

    Liked by 1 person

  4. manoloprofe says:

    Happy New Year & thanks a lot for being in the observation post…! 🙂 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. RMW says:

    Still in love with Gene Kelly after all these years…

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Don Frankel says:

    Happy New Year Muse!

    Remember ‘Actions Speak Louder Than Words’.

    Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse says:

      B.B. King must’ve thought he was indeed a king, singing “You don’t do as I tell you, baby” in that song — apparently her INaction spoke louder than words, as far as he was concerned. The nerve of the woman, not doing as he told her!

      Don, if you’re heading for Times Square tomorrow night to ring in the New Year, stay warm and sober (or at least warm). 🙂


  7. inesephoto says:

    Happy New Year! Love your blog ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  8. lexborgia says:

    You can’t get blood out of a turnip…..leave a will which does.

    Liked by 1 person

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