SO THEY SAY (PART THREE)

Time once again for another exciting episode of SO THEY SAY, so let’s get back to where Part Two left off, and continue putting the right slant on some questionable old axioms. My readers deserve nothing less, because….well, they just don’t.

*****************************************************************************

The best things in life are free.
Nevertheless, donations are acccepted for this and all previous and future posts.

She will talk to a wooden Indian.
That’s why I keep a wooden Indian around the house.

You can’t get blood out of a turnip.
Try praying harder.

The bigger they are, the harder they fall.
Try praying harder, but only for small turnips. If they fall hard enough, the big turnips should bleed on their own.

It is better to light one candle than to curse the darkness.
Or, you could pay your electric bill or replace that burned-out bulb.

Six of one, half dozen of another.
The correct Jeopardy! answer is: How many Ricardos and Dons does it take to change a lightbulb?

Seeing is believing.
How true. I see much better now, after turning on the candle in the light socket.

She can’t help being ugly, but she could’ve stayed home.
Maybe she had to run out and buy a thesaurus.

There’s no fool like an old fool.
I prefer to think of it as being special.

Say what you mean and mean what you say.
But don’t be mean when you say it.

Advertisements

5 comments on “SO THEY SAY (PART THREE)

  1. arekhill1 says:

    Are you just checking if I’m reading, Sr. Muse? As a writer, I am capable of changing a lightbulb by myself, but only after it goes on an emotional journey.

    Like

  2. Don Frankel says:

    Since it takes 12 government employees to change a light bulb you can have both of us. Then you might need a few others as the 12 government employees would have a meeting to change the light bulb. That would not necessarily get the bulb changed. In which case you might be sitting in the dark until you lit a candle or hired a private contractor to change the light bulb.

    Like

  3. mistermuse says:

    Ricardo, would I ever doubt your loyalty? (Don’t answer that).

    Actually, you and Don were the unfortunate victims of desperation on my part with regard to “Six of one, half dozen of another.” Rejoinders to the other axioms came to me fairly readily, but try as I may, that one had me stumped until I thought of the old joke about how many Polacks does it take to change a lightbulb?

    Apologies to you, Don and any Polacks who may be tuned in.

    Like

  4. Michaeline Montezinos says:

    I accept your apology since I knew you were jesting. My brother called me a “Polack,” and I was upset. Of course, he was in his cups and he is Polish, too. I enjoyed your revisions of these common mottoes or cliches. Please include me in future bulb changing episodes as I am not as sensitive as others can be and not easily offended. Funny stuff mistermuse. I always enjoy your writing. 🙂

    Like

  5. mistermuse says:

    Thanks, Michaeline. I was almost hoping that you wouldn’t see my “Polack” explanation, as I remembered that you’re part Polish, and I didn’t want to offend, though I agree it shouldn’t offend. There are lots of jokes about drunken Irishmen, for example, but I’m not sensitive about them although I’m part Irish. Maybe it’s because Irishmen can laugh at themselves.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s