STOP THE WORLD – I WANT TO GET OFF

Although every worsening day of the virulent Trump reign has served to make me wish the above urge was an option in 2020, today’s a day to look back and “Stop the World — I Want to Get Off” in the 1960s…..a decade when British singer, actor and songwriter ANTHONY NEWLEY (born Sept. 24, 1931) was as well known (especially in England) as David Bowie and Elton John were in the 1970s.

And yet, Newley is now all but forgotten  — so on his birthday, I want to devote a post to remembering this Songwriters Hall of Fame member whose talents I like so much that I still have 11 of his LPs in my collection – including the original Broadway cast album of the title show (co-written with Leslie Bricusse), featuring this song:

That was the #1 (but not the only) hit song from STOP THE WORLD. If you’re up for seconds, let’s give it a go:

Three years after they Stopped the World, Newly and Bricusse co-wrote THE ROAR OF THE GREASEPAINT – THE SMELL OF THE CROWD with more show-stopping songs, including this one which fits a certain braggart President who loves the smell of the crowd (and apparently the sight of their adoring, maskless faces, as well):

In closing, a bit of trivia: do you know who wrote the lyrics to the title song of this James Bond film (the answer is in the credits near the end of this trailer):

 

 

 

 

YOU ASKED FOR IT! YOU GOT IT!

My last post featured poetry which one of you commented that you wanted more of. So, it is by popular demand (who am I to deny my adoring readers?) that my Fats friend and I are bound to reply:

The initials of that reader are mm. No, mistermuse isn’t the mm who asked for more. If you must know, it was magicmermaid, who I assume is a real person (not that mistermuse isn’t real — as real, at least, as magicmermaid….or as you, for that matter). You are real, aren’t you? — if not, just pretend you are, because mistermuse can use the reassurance.

THE FAUX PAS OF POSITIVE THINKING

“Doubt is not a pleasant mental state, but certainty is a ridiculous one.” –Voltaire

I can live with
Uncertainty and doubt —
It’s know-it-alls
I have my doubts about.

THE PETER PRINCIPLE

“I am not young enough to know everything.” –Sir James M. Barrie (author of the play subtitled The Boy Who Wouldn’t Grow Up)

Sorry that things didn’t quite Pan out
(except in Neverland….or thereabout).

HOW TO BETTER CULTIVATE KNOWLEDGE

“Scholars esteem knowledge not for its use in attaining other values, but as a value in itself.” –Max Eastman

Know,
Weigh,

Hoe
Say.

KNOW PROBLEM

“If reality wants to get in touch, it knows where I am.” –Phil Proctor

But if reality says,
“Hello there, it’s me” —
How would you know
Absent a show of real ID?

 

 

 

 

 

 

RELAX REDUX / IN THE LAP OF LUX

After my last post (“RELAX”), the title of a possible sequel (“RELAX REDUX”) came to me….however, further inspiration waned, leaving me a title in search of a post. But fear not. We artistes are too artiste-tic to give up a half-asinine idea without a fight….and, in time, a way forward hit me: if RELAX REDUX became the asinine half of a whole post, the whole post would be half-asinine if the second half of the whole were also half-asinine. In other words, the second half of the whole must be better than half-asinine, or the whole post is half-asinine.

In short, to half or not to half — that was the question. The answer came to me when I asked myself what can be logically paired with relaxation to buttress a less asinine whole, and I answered myself: luxury, that’s what. Hence I appoint IN THE LAP OF LUX to serve as my better half….whether my wife likes it or not.

So, Weather* you’re weady or not, it’s time to welax — er, RELAX. That’s half the battle.

*LAZY WEATHER was one of a number of songs written by white composer Peter DeRose and black lyricist Jo Trent in the late 1920s (a time when such bi-racial collaboration was almost unheard of)

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Now on to IN THE LAP OF LUX:

“Living in the lap of luxury isn’t bad, except that you never know when luxury is going to stand up.” –Orson Welles

“If your neighbor has it, a luxury immediately becomes a necessity.” –Evan Esar

“The older I get, the more I realize that the ultimate luxury is time.” –Michael Kars

“Someone loving you back with all they’ve got is perhaps the greatest luxury of this rotten modern times, when lovers are easy but love is rare.” –Nitya Prakash

“Contentment is natural wealth; luxury [is] artificial poverty.” –Socrates

“Authentic luxury flourishes in the untying of self-worth from popular opinion.” –Ann Brasco

“Utility is when you have one telephone, luxury is when you have two, opulence is when you have three — and paradise is when you have none.” –Doug Larson

“It is only to the happy that tears are a luxury.” –Thomas More

So….

 

 

 

 

 

RELAX

Today being RELAXATION DAY, I’m of a mind to put as little effort into this post as possible. Now that I think of it, I should probably stop right here….but then, how could I relax, knowing I’d short-changed my countless faithful followers. After all, our President never ceases to model being a ‘word’-class genius, so who am I to act less nobly than he — am I not duty-bound to follow his lead, even if I have to hold my nose? Of course snot.

In any case, let us proceed….to RELAX:

Well, that looked more like an example of do as they sing, not as they do. Here’s something a bit more in the spirit of the day:

Now that we’ve boned up on how to properly relax, we can truly….

But just in case you’re still not at ease with taking it easy today, I suggest that this demonstration of the lotus position warts — I mean, warrants — serious consideration (if you’re so inclined):

https://quotesgram.com/img/funny-quotes-about-relaxing/2098415/

Now that’s what I call a croaker who knows how to croak — I mean,       relax     .

LIKE, WHAT’S NOT TO LIKE?

I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I haven’t liked your posts since about this time yesterday. I haven’t liked them, not because I haven’t liked them, but because I haven’t been able to Like them. All I get where one normally clicks “Like” is “Loading” — and as much as I’d like it to stop Loading, it doesn’t. I can still comment, but if I commented on all the posts I like but can’t Like, I’d spend my whole day writing comments….which isn’t likely, because I also like to eat, sleep, and be merry. So, since I can’t Like you on your posts, I’ll LIKE you musically here.

Speaking of being merry, today is the birthday (May 21, 1904) of Thomas “Fats” Waller, who was about the merry-makingest singer/songwriter/pianist I know. Here he at the piano with such fellow jazz greats as Jack Teagarden and Gene Krupa playing his own composition I NEED SOMEONE LIKE YOU:

There’s more “Like” songs where that came from. Here is the First Lady of Song/Queen of Jazz singing a ballad like only she can:

I’d like to close with something high class, like this:

 

MAY DAYS

What do you say — may I interest you in the music of May? You see, I haven’t posted for a spell, but I don’t think I want to disturb a single brain cell — though I fear somewhere in my sphere the strain’s already rung a bell, as near I can tell. So, before I go too far, let’s get to the tunes, most of which may be before your time….but at least you won’t have to suffer (much) more of my rhyme.

I’ll start with two versions of my favorite May song, the first sung by the great Mel Tormé:

This second (and earlier) version is by British crooner Al Bowlly, who was tragically killed in a German air raid on London during WW II:

Now, let’s see — where are we? Oh, yes — we’re….

Let us say ‘fini’ appropriately:

INTERNATIONAL JAZZ DAY

April 30 is INTERNATIONAL JAZZ DAY. Mistermuse could write a book about jazz, but many books have already been authored by jazz writers more authoritative than he, so mistermuse will settle for doing a post — and on this post, he has a chick who can sing a lick here, scat a lick there, wing a lick everywhere:

You may think that’s hotter than a chicken wing or a pig on a spit — but here’s a cat who can scat too, and when he blows his bugle, he’s even….

Is your computer smoking yet? We don’t want to alarm the Firehouse brigade, so before your pc bursts into a

….let’s do one number more and stop at four, because….

 

 

TWO IN ONE

April 23 is both LOVER’S DAY and TAKE A CHANCE DAY. As it happens, one of my favorite composers wrote a song which encompasses both of those gambols/gambles in one title:

The name of that composer is Vladimir Dukelsky, better known to lovers (of The Golden Age of Popular Music) as VERNON DUKE, writer of such all-time standards as APRIL IN PARIS and AUTUMN IN NEW YORK. Here, in keeping with our ‘double take’ on this occasion, is one of his lesser known songs:

On this April day, I will keep our celebration short and bittersweet by closing with the above-noted ‘song of the month’:

LOWDOWN MONDAY MORNING BLUES

I don’t know how many jazz fans I have among my readers — or, for that matter, how many blues buffs I have among my jazz fans — but just between me and you (no matter how few), today I’m in a LOWDOWN and BLUE musical mood. To my non-jazz followers tried and true, you’re welcome to listen in too….with no apologies due if you decide to bid me adieu ’til my next post’s in view.

So, without further ado, here’s the LOWDOWN — BLUES, that is, played by a legendary New Orleans jazz man….and that’s no Bunk (I beg your pardon: it is Bunk) :

For my next selection this Monday morning, what else but the….

Some blues songs are a bit dirty, but I offer one that will leave you cleaner than a flushed toilet with a clogged drain….and, it’s conveniently in the same room:

Today is Easter Monday which, I’m sure you’re aware, is also DYNGUS DAY, which is big in Poland. Other than that, I don’t know a dang thingus about Dyngus, so I checked it out and found that it’s celebrated like St. Patrick’s Day is in Ireland, with drinking, parades, drinking, parties, drinking, dancing, and drinking. Of course, the Poles are open all night on Dyngus Day, so I’d like to close with a song apropos for the occasion — but unlike St. Patrick’s Day, I can’t show a Dyngus song because I don’t know a Dyngus song. Luckily, a melodious American opus will serve the purpose if we substitute DYNGUS for DUMAS:

Just between us, I thinkest that’s the dangest Dyngus/Dumas anyone could sing us to bring us to the finus. Thank goodness for Louis.

GO TO HELLISTAN

Yesterday, I commented on Rivergirl’s March 25 post titled “THINGS THAT FALL INTO THE WTH? CATEGORY”, which told of (among other things) a place known as the Door to Hell in Derweze, Turkmenistan. As I mentioned in that comment, I’ve actually gone to Hell (by car, by the way; not in a handbasket) — the town of Hell in Michiganistan, which may not be as hot as Hell in Turkmenistan, but is more convenient. I figure this is more than enough to qualify me as an authority on anystan’s Hell, hence this post.

When I say “more convenient,” I of course mean convenient to my followers here in the good old United Statesistan. If you live in Asiastan, you will undoubtedly be able to go to Hell more conveniently in Turkmenistan. On the other stan, if you live in Hindustan (aka The Republic of India), you’re stuckistan in Hindustan because India is in total lockdown due to the coronavirus (I would’ve said coronavirustan, but I understan that’s sickistan).

Anyway, the Hell I’ve been through in Michiganistan has an official website; rather than me give you the scoopistan, here’s the official poopistan straight from the horse’s mouth:

https://www.gotohellmi.com/

Now, if that doesn’t make you want to go to Hell, I don’t know what willistan. I happen to know a guy (his name is Stan) whose wife is a real clothes horse and looks hot in green, gray or white; he often takes her through Hell no matter what she’s wearing, even though….

I close with this thought: Where do people in Hell tell each other to go?