Tagged: H. L. Mencken Toggle Comment Threads | Keyboard Shortcuts

  • mistermuse 12:05 am on July 27, 2018 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , H. L. Mencken, , , , , misfortune, , , , ,   


    When misfortune comes, take it like a man–blame it on your wife. –Evan Esar

    • * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

    Many of us suffer an unanticipated misfortune at some point in our lives. It could be the missed fortune of being left out of the will of a rich cousin you loved like a brother (until the ungrateful s.o.b. left every cent he had to his actual brother)….or it could be distress under duress, like your mistress taking egress, leaving you in a mess, no less, with your wife. Or, if you are a wife, perhaps you got wind of, not only the mistress on the side, but the ‘steady at the ready’ and the ‘wench on the bench’ (otherwise known as having too many loins in the fire). Yes, friends, misfortune is an ill wind which blows no good…

    Now, far be it from mistermuse to blame his misfortunes on his wife. As a matter of tact, if it weren’t for my wife, I don’t know what I would do (or is it, wouldn’t do?). Yes, friends, mistermuse has been a sappily married man for 49 years, 10 months, and 13 days now, and I can honestly say it doesn’t seem like a day over 49 years, 10 months, and 12 days.

    That said, game on. Let’s see what other men have had to say on the subject:

    Wives are people who feel that they don’t dance enough. –Groucho Marx

    How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who treats her as if she were a perfectly natural being? –Oscar Wilde

    If Presidents can’t do it to their wives, they do it to their countries. –Mel Brooks

    No matter how happily married a woman may be, it always pleases her to discover that there is a nice man who wishes she were not. –H. L. Mencken

    My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you’ll be happy; if not, you’ll become a philosopher. –Socrates

    Some wives are like fishermen: they think the best ones got away. –Evan Esar

    I’ve had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn’t. –Patrick Murray

    A man placed an ad in the classifieds: “Wife wanted.” Next day he received over a hundred replies: “You can have mine.” –Anonymous

    NOTE: The last quote is absolutely NOT mine!

    • Paul Sunstone 3:16 am on July 27, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      So far a I know there are at least three or four major religions that each claim their own god created the institution of marriage — and everyone of them say they did it to protect the women, which I find hilarious.

      Liked by 3 people

    • calmkate 4:31 am on July 27, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      lol hilarious .. big 50 celebration coming up, well done both of you!

      Liked by 1 person

    • masercot 5:33 am on July 27, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      Women are the major cause of mental illness in men…

      Liked by 1 person

    • Lisa R. Palmer 8:36 am on July 27, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      Congrats on making it work!! That is quite an accomplishment for both of you…

      I laughed at almost all of these, being an ex-wife, except one, which I simply didn’t understand. Goes to show that humor targets certain audiences (probably based on common experiences…?).

      What the heck was Oscar Wilde trying to say here, and where is the “funny”? Lol!

      “How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who treats her as if she were a perfectly natural being?” –Oscar Wilde

      P.S. No need to actually explain; it only makes things worse. If a joke needs lengthy rationale, then it already failed. But since I’m not the intended audience, no harm done. Just thought I’d share my ignorance, as it might make it funnier to others. 😀

      Liked by 2 people

      • mistermuse 9:28 am on July 27, 2018 Permalink | Reply

        No problem, Lisa–I’ve found from long experience that explanations only get me into longer no-win situations. That’s why “Yes, dear” is almost always the better part of valor….and, as you can tell, I’ve become very well trained in almost 50 years. 🙂

        Liked by 2 people

    • Carmen 8:48 am on July 27, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      Here’s the one I like, and which was stuck on our fridge for years –
      “The best thing a father can do for his children is love their mother”.

      Almost 50 years! Wow! We’re 9 years behind you, mister muse, which reminds me of another statement I read when I first got married – and it has stuck in my head because of its truth (well, in our case anyway!) –
      “Marriage is a contest of wills.” 🙂

      Congratulations and in my opinion, you brought the very best trait to the union – a kick-ass sense of humour!

      Liked by 2 people

      • mistermuse 9:32 am on July 27, 2018 Permalink | Reply

        Thank you, Carmen. Unfortunately, the ass I’d most like to kick is out of reach (not my wife–Donald Trump)! 🙂

        P.S. I like your “statements.”

        Liked by 1 person

    • Carmen 10:17 am on July 27, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      A friend of ours once told a young fellow who was getting married that there were only two responses he needed to know – “Yes, dear” and “That outfit looks lovely on you!” 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

    • arekhill1 1:26 pm on July 27, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      Congrats to you and Senora Muse on your upcoming 50th.

      Liked by 1 person

    • inesephoto 1:52 pm on July 28, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      Eternal source of jokes 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    • Don Frankel 2:13 pm on July 29, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      Here’s some advice on the subject that I didn’t take. But I was happy anyway.

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 7:17 pm on July 29, 2018 Permalink | Reply

        Good song, Don. I like toe-tappers which don’t lead to my wife putting her foot down.


    • floatinggold 10:40 pm on July 30, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      Almost 50 years? That’s impressive. How do people manage to put up with ANYONE for so long?

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 11:50 pm on July 30, 2018 Permalink | Reply

        First, you have to live long enough. Second, so does your wife. Third, it helps to have a sense of humor. Fourth, if your wife has a strong arm throwing pots, pans and dishes, it helps to have good reflexes. Fifth, when all else fails, either pray for a miracle that she’ll see things your way, or say “Yes, dear.” Or both.

        Liked by 1 person

    • MikeTX 10:49 am on August 1, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      Congrats on the half a century of marital bliss Muse.

      I guess you have no wench on the bench; a fact which also keeps a foot from being put down…on your throat. Good luck on your next half-century!

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 8:07 pm on August 7, 2018 Permalink | Reply

        Thanks, Mike. Sorry about the delayed reply — I just noticed that your comment was awaiting approval.


    • America On Coffee 1:43 pm on August 7, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      Love this!!

      Liked by 1 person

  • mistermuse 4:29 pm on May 27, 2018 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: deceit, , H. L. Mencken, , , , , Mildred Bailey, , , , ,   


    One of my readers, who is obviously a glutton for punishment, recently expressed disappointment that I haven’t posted more of my poems lately. At the risk of triggering that old axiom BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR, I thank her for having inspired me to address the deficiency thusly:


    As the twig is bent,
    so grows the tree.
    As the die is cast,
    so shall it be.

    If these be true,
    why is it wise:
    The Donald gets a pass
    when he tells those lies?

    Of course, I should also thank the President, without whose daily rants my inspiration for this poem would doubtless lie dormant. And now for a word from the truly wise about lies:

    Carlyle said, “A lie cannot live”; it shows he did not know how to tell them. –Mark Twain

    A man comes to believe in the end the lies he tells about himself to himself. –George Bernard Shaw

    I admire liars, but surely not liars so clumsy they cannot fool even themselves. –H. L. Mencken

    Pretending that you believe a lie is also a lie. –Arthur Schnitzler

    If at first you’re not believed, lie, lie again. –Evan Esar

    Not sure why the video is black. Maybe because the lies it laments aren’t white ones. But the sound is clear, and the voice shines through the darkness.




    • calmkate 4:31 am on May 28, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      ah a poem a post will suit me fine thanks … great quotes! GBSs describes some I know … lets speak the truth! Altho I doubt your president would know it if it bit him on the nose 😦

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 8:27 am on May 28, 2018 Permalink | Reply

        Thank you, Kate, for being the one who “inspired me” to write the poem. I should also mention (for those who don’t know) that the title of the post is based on LIAR, LIAR, PANTS ON FIRE, a children’s taunt that goes back to the 1930s (some versions add NOSE AS LONG AS A TELEPHONE WIRE). There is also this song:

        Liked by 2 people

    • dunelight 8:06 pm on May 31, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      Goodnexx, look at Mrs. Howell boogie!

      Liked by 1 person

    • Tidbits 6:01 am on June 1, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      The risk was worth it … nice poem ! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    • Invisibly Me 12:56 am on June 2, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      Interesting quotes, I particularly like the George Bernard Shaw one. And a nice shout out of thanks to Trump, he’s certainly a source of inspiration for many a rant! 🙂
      Caz x

      Liked by 1 person

    • moorezart 4:21 pm on June 8, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      Reblogged this on From 1 Blogger 2 Another.

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 5:34 pm on June 8, 2018 Permalink | Reply

        Thank you truly, moorezart. I’m always glad to get more exposure (within limits, of course).


        • moorezart 7:16 pm on June 8, 2018 Permalink

          You’re welcome though know I try avoid the hottest hours between noon and say 2. ! Cheers!

          Liked by 1 person

  • mistermuse 8:08 am on July 27, 2017 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , H. L. Mencken, , , ,   


    Friends, if you think that a dog was elected U.S. President in the last election, you should live in Rabbit Hash, KY, where, in January (the very month Trump was sworn in as Pres), a PIT BULL was ‘indawgurated’ as the town’s fourth canine mayor since 1998:

    The Rabbit Hash election may have been the pit’s, but there’s no denying the popularity of the dog mayor. As town historian Don Clare said last week, “People are tired of the political climate of lying. I think humans are finally coming to their senses after all we’ve been through in the last seven months. You just can look at a dog’s face and know that he is true blue and not trying to fake you.”

    Long-time followers of this blog may recall that I’ve hopped on down the bunny trail to the nearby town of Rabbit Hash and posted in the past about the former mayor (border collie Lucy Lou)….but now I come to find that Rabbit Hash isn’t alone in having animal mayors. At first, this may get your goat, butt hang in there; at second, it’s the cat’s meow:

    There have also been animals elected to political office in several small towns in Washington state, Minnesota and elsewhere, but alas, it seems that most voters aren’t as enlightened as their Rabbit Hash counterparts, and continue to elect less deserving humans (though it must be admitted that some have been jackasses). But then, as H.L. Mencken pointed out: Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise than religion has made them good.

    I will close with a few ass-inine quotes as examples of why humans leave a lot to be desired as political animals:
    Once you’ve seen one ghetto, you’ve seen them all. –Spiro Agnew, former Maryland Governor and U.S. Vice President
    [On my commission, I have] every kind of mix you can have. I have a black, I have a woman, two Jews and a cripple. –James Watt, former U.S. Interior Secretary
    The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep. –George Stephanopolous (when he was an aide to Bill Clinton)
    As for yours truly, I haven’t posted all of the quotes I intended to post, but as they say of Trump’s tweets, enough is enough.


    • Garfield Hug 8:22 am on July 27, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      Haha! I think my inanimate furball Garfield could also run for President😝😸🤔or I could borrow one of Samantha’s cats😉…perhaps they could do a little better? 😃😃

      Liked by 3 people

    • mistermuse 8:34 am on July 27, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      Fur be it from me to say Garfield wouldn’t make a better President than the Tweety bird now occupying the White House. Even if Garfield did nothing, it would be an improvement! 🙂

      Liked by 3 people

    • D. Wallace Peach 12:21 pm on July 27, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      I think a dog would make a much more humane president than the one we have now. Those quotes are amazing – I think my brain exploded. 😀

      Liked by 3 people

      • mistermuse 1:54 pm on July 27, 2017 Permalink | Reply

        What can I say? It might be entertaining watching Trump apologists take themselves seriously as they make excuses for him….if it weren’t so sad.

        Liked by 3 people

    • Ricardo 5:45 pm on July 27, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      It seems some of your readers are pining for an animal President. Bearing in mind that the President has to be at least 35 years old, dogs and cats are out–you’re talking a horse (who might easily die in office), one of the great apes, a whale or (a possibly politically dubious choice) an elephant. I think quahogs also live past 35, but I don’t see an American consenting to be ruled over by an oyster. Although it might be superior to what we have now.

      Liked by 4 people

      • mistermuse 9:07 pm on July 27, 2017 Permalink | Reply

        Ricardo, if I could choose an animal for President, it would be my boyhood favorite DONALD DUCK, who is two years older than I and thus qualified not only by age, but (compared to the human Donald) by temperament. Actually, the human Donald has been sounding like the duck Donald for some time now:

        Liked by 2 people

    • Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, MCC, SCAC 12:58 am on July 28, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      Loved the post – “liked” the comments – and I’m with all of you. ANYTHING would be better – even a pet rock. But the fuzzies are definitely cuter. Did they run as Independents?
      (Madelyn Griffith-Haynie – ADDandSoMuchMORE dot com)
      ADD/EFD Coach Training Field founder; ADD Coaching co-founder
      “It takes a village to transform a world!”

      Liked by 2 people

    • linnetmoss 6:39 am on July 28, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      I would like most of my state’s congressional delegation to be replaced by Dogs. They would be much more loving and caring, and far less selfish. Although we might end up with a health care bill of walkies, extra nap time, and guaranteed coverage for flea treatments.

      Liked by 3 people

    • mistermuse 8:42 am on July 28, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      It seems you don’t have to be a dog to take extra nap time — this list of famous nappers includes 3 Presidents:

      Liked by 1 person

    • MC Clark 10:37 pm on July 28, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      All politicians suck, not just Trump. I, for one, vote we replace all of them with oysters, prove Ricardo above wrong. 😁

      Liked by 2 people

    • mistermuse 7:37 am on July 29, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      I think I would opt for wise old owls rather than oysters to replace politicians, but I agree that politics seems to bring out the worst in most of them (exhibit #1: Donald Trump).

      Liked by 1 person

    • literaryeyes 12:39 pm on July 31, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      All the promises he INTENDED to keep -vintage Bill Clinton-speak! Loved the quotes!

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 1:54 pm on July 31, 2017 Permalink | Reply

        My guess is that that quote didn’t quite come out the way Stephanopolous intended, but told it like it was without meaning to. But probably almost all politicians make promises they (should) know they won’t be able to keep, or make them because they know that’s what voters want to hear. Some just do it more shamelessly than others.


  • mistermuse 12:00 am on September 15, 2016 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: Balzac, , , H. L. Mencken, , , , , , , , wedding anniversary,   


    Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution? –Groucho Marx

    • * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

    My wife and I celebrated our 48th wedding anniversary yesterday. You may think that, unlike the 50th, a 48th wedding anniversary is no big deal — and I wouldn’t disagree. But, being in need of an idea for this post, I wasn’t about to look a gift source in the mouth; thus, yesterday’s anniversary became my inspiration to write about….divorce.

    Ha ha — just kidding (my wife might kill me if I were serious). This post will, of course, be about MARRIAGE….a fate which, as fates go, beats being killed (almost) any day. Ha ha ha. Just kidding again! Lest there be any doubt concerning my true feelings about marriage:

    Yes, just as in the song, ask the local gentry, and they will say it’s elementary. But why stop with the local gentry? I believe my readers are nothing if not broad minded:

    Marriage is the most licentious of human institutions — that is the secret of its popularity. –George Bernard Shaw

    Getting married, like getting hanged, is a great deal less dreadful than it has been made out. –H. L. Mencken

    It’s no disgrace for a woman to make a mistake in marrying — every woman does it. –Ed Howe

    A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. –Michel de Montaigne

    Marriage is like paying an endless visit in your worst clothes. –J. B. Priestley

    When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife. –Prince Philip

    Marriage is a feminine plot to add to a man’s responsibilities and subtract from his rights. –Evan Esar

    Before marriage, a man declares he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won’t even lay down his paper to talk to you. –Helen Rowland

    The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to play the violin. –Honore de Balzac

    I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her. –Rodney Dangerfield

    Ha ha ha ha….I mean, Yes, dear — I’m listening. Seriously.


    • painkills2 12:13 am on September 15, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      48 years is quite an accomplishment… for your wife. 😀

      Liked by 3 people

    • Carmen 7:53 am on September 15, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Congrats to both of you! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    • linnetmoss 8:23 am on September 15, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Congratulations to you both! I have noticed that the Irish love mordant jokes about marriage:
      An Irishman surprised his wife and her lover in the act.
      He grabbed a pistol and pointed it at his head, which made his wife burst out laughing.
      “What do you think you’re laughing at,” he cried, “you’re next.”

      Liked by 2 people

    • arekhill1 10:19 am on September 15, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Lucky you, Sr. Muse. If you added my years of marriage to yours, you’d be at 50 exactly.


      • mistermuse 1:03 pm on September 15, 2016 Permalink | Reply

        Lucky indeed, Ricardo….apropos of which, here is an appropriate song (from the same film featured in my previous post):

        Liked by 1 person

    • Mary Cathleen Clark 11:48 am on September 15, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Congratulations…48 years is quite an accomplishment.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Don Frankel 4:03 pm on September 15, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Congratulations to you and Mrs. Muse and as you just pointed out, you remembered it.


      • mistermuse 4:47 pm on September 15, 2016 Permalink | Reply

        Thanks, Don. At my age, it’s no small thing to remember small things (or, sometimes, even large ones).

        Liked by 1 person

    • Cynthia Jobin 5:28 pm on September 15, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      I’m never sure if a marriage is an accomplishment, but yours certainly has been long. Warmest wishes as you celebrate!

      Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse 6:17 pm on September 15, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Thanks, Cynthia. Some say you have to work to make marriage work, so in that sense, I guess it is an accomplishment (though I don’t think of it as work!). 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    • Jane 4:56 am on September 17, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Congratulations on surviving 48 years! 😉 There are some ripper quotes there and I’m looking forward to using them myself on occasion. Thanks for the laughs! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse 7:25 am on September 17, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Thank you, Jane. One of my favorite tasks in writing posts such as this is doing the research and choosing about ten ‘killer’ quotes (those which, paradoxically, are the “surviving” finalists from the hundreds available). 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    • Garfield Hug 9:13 am on September 17, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Congratulations mistermuse to you and yours!! Diamond anniversary is around the corner…so plan a big party and a great gift for Mrs😊

      Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse 11:08 am on September 17, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Well, first I’ve got to make it to our Golden (50th) Anniversary! 🙂 As for a great gift for the Mrs., I’m thinking what could be better than a furball Garfield? My bank account tells me a diamond wouldn’t be appropriate until our Diamond (60th) Anniversary….ha ha.


    • Mél@nie 12:23 pm on September 18, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      admiration and respect, Sir… send you my very best: health, joy, love and long life together… sincerely, Mélanie NB

      Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse 4:30 pm on September 18, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Thank you, Mél@nie — my best to you as well.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Belle Papillon 24/7 8:55 am on September 27, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Wow! Some people are blessed to meet that one person who will complement them and are willing to work on the marriage no matter what. Congratulations to you both and I wish you the best.

      How I wish I was fortunate enough… but I have given up on that institution.
      I have accepted the fact that I’m a frog picker so I will shy away from that and say never again.


      ❤ BP

      Liked by 2 people

    • mistermuse 1:14 pm on September 27, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      The old saying “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again” may be an iffy proposition when it comes to marriage, but as one who got it right the first time, who am I to judge? So I will shy away from “never again” as an absolute….but if that’s what it’s come to in your case, more power to you! 🙂


  • mistermuse 12:02 am on April 30, 2016 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: Family Feud, H. L. Mencken, , , , , Porky Pig, , SPEED BUMP, surveys   


    We thought of ourselves as the lion….king of all he surveys. –Wordreference Forums

    • * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

    April 30 is NATIONAL HONESTY DAY, which I was considering making the subject of this post….but, to be honest, I already been there/done that (April 30, 2014) before most of you truth seekers had the misfortune to discover and become addicticated to my blog. But never you fear / be of good cheer / that post is as near / as if it were here:


    Back to the present, I ain’t lion: needing something else to write about posthaste, I got an idea from (click) this cartoon which appeared a few days ago in the local paper.

    What with all the surveys and pseudo-surveys we’re bombarded with these days (even some news links on my Internet Explorer home page require answering a survey before proceeding), why shouldn’t I get in on the act with my own survey? Then I came across the following and, truth being stranger than fishin’, I’m thinkin’ perhaps I should be careful what I fish for:

    10 Most Bizarre Survey Finds

    So, Mister Muse will limit Sir Vey to one question: if what you don’t know can’t hurt you, why is clueless humanity so screwed up? If nothing else, those “Survey Finds” only confirm my faith in H. L. Mencken’s opinion of the American public (and, by extension,  the rest of the world).

    So there you have it, human-family feuders. Survey says:

    P.S. Honestly, I wonder if Noah ever answered God’s survey?

    • Midwestern Plant Girl 8:31 am on April 30, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      I’m in the 40% that would save my dog over a tourist…. I’d save my dog over a citizen also 😲

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 10:22 am on April 30, 2016 Permalink | Reply

        As long as you’re not in the 40% of those who would vote for Donald Trump, I’ll give you a pass on that one, M.P.G. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

        • Midwestern Plant Girl 11:11 am on April 30, 2016 Permalink

          Errrr. Hmmm. I don’t want to vote for either of the frontrunners…

          Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse 11:53 am on April 30, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Not to worry. Lucy Lou, the border collie mayor of Rabbit Hash, KY, of whom I’ve written before, is running indognito as a bite-in candidate for Pres. She may be laying low, but thinks you should vote for her because the other candidates are even bigger dogs than she is.


    • Richard Cahill 11:01 pm on April 30, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      In the larger sense we’re all tourists here, Sr. Muse, and, also in the larger sense, (speaking of males at least) we’re all dogs. So I don’t think the question a fair one.


    • mistermuse 11:38 pm on April 30, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      If I were a cynic, I’d ask Since when is life fair? Wait — I AM a cynic. Oh well, as Popeye would say, I yam what I yam.


    • linnetmoss 8:02 am on May 1, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Mencken got it in one.


    • mistermuse 8:11 am on May 1, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      SIR VEY SAYS you’re right!


    • Don Frankel 12:01 pm on May 1, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      The problem of those surveys is we have to believe the people giving them are honest. I think they’re the same people taking the polls.


    • mistermuse 1:30 pm on May 1, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      I think some of the internet surveys are marketing feelers in the guise of surveys. But even “legitimate” surveys can be skewed toward whatever result is advocated, depending upon how the questions and/or choices are worded. No doubt the most honest (if not always accurate) polls are those undertaken or partnered by major news organizations and long established pollsters such as Gallup and the NBC News/Wall Street Journal polls.


    • D. Wallace Peach 11:35 am on May 7, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Oh my, I don’t know, when reading those survey results, if I should laugh or cry. Unbelievable. Ignorance is not bliss, it’s just ignorance. Very entertaining post, if not a bit depressing LOL.

      Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse 12:03 pm on May 7, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Thank you. I agree about ignorance, but I’d allow that not all ignorance is created equal. The worst is WILLFUL ignorance, which is the kind many politicians, tyrants and tycoons specialize in. More forgivable is uneducated ignorance, especially the uneducated ignorance of those who don’t know any better through no fault of their own (usually the easily-led young). But I’m sure you’re not ignorant of this, so please forgive my ‘preaching.’ 🙂


    • D. Wallace Peach 2:43 pm on May 7, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      I agree completely. There’s a huge difference. I count myself among the ignorant in more ways than not. There’s just too much to know. It’s the willful and purposely deceitful ignorance that is so unsettling 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  • mistermuse 12:17 am on May 30, 2015 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: greed, H. L. Mencken, , , income inequality, living wage, , , , price, ,   


    Like a full moon, the mere thought of lots of money seems to make some people crazy. No doubt you’ve noticed with lotteries, for example, that the higher the jackpot, the more people play the lottery. I mean (leaving aside the astronomical odds against winning), what could you do with $500+ million that you couldn’t do with $250+ million — except maybe buy a sports team, put your money where your political ideology is (think Koch Brothers),  or build a Trump Tower-like monument to your ego?

    So I found it refreshing to read recently about a guy who not only didn’t let dough go to his head, but stood income inequality on its head: Dan Price, a successful Seattle business owner who decided to help the people who helped him grow his business, by lowering his almost $1 million annual salary to $70,000 and increasing the salary of his 120 employees to that same level. According to Bloomberg Business data, America’s CEO-to-worker pay has increased 1,000% (to a ratio of 300+ to 1) since 1950. Price believed he could make the ratio 1-to-1 without raising prices or decreasing services to customers, and Price was right. Employee morale grew even stronger and business thrived. As a result of this heresy, he was named 2014 Entrepreneur of the year by Entrepreneur Magazine. I suspect it’s not a magazine run by conservatives.

    As entrepreneur of this blog, I will now attempt to improve your morale by turning the remainder of this post over to the musings of others on the matter of money and affiliated subjects:

    Where I was brought up, we never talked about money because there was never enough to furnish a topic of conversation. –Mark Twain

    Whoever said money can’t buy happiness simply didn’t know where to shop. –Bo Derek

    The chief ingredient that makes expensive merchandise so expensive is profit. –Evan Esar

    I’ve got all the money I’ll ever need, if I die by four o’clock. –Henny Youngman

    The only thing wealth does for some people is to make them worry about losing it. —Antoine Rivarol

    Men make counterfeit money; in many more cases, money makes counterfeit men. –Sydney J. Harris

    The chief value of money lies in the fact that one lives in a world in which it is overestimated. —H.L.  Mencken

    The definition of a living wage depends upon whether you are getting it or giving it. –Evan Esar

    I spent a lot of money on booze, broads and fast cars. The rest I just squandered. –George Best

    The leaders of the French Revolution excited the poor against the rich; this made the rich poor, but it never made the poor rich. –Fisher Ames

    There are two classes of people: the have-nots and the have-yachts. –Evan Esar

    Greed is not a money issue. It’s a heart issue. –Andy Stanley



    • Don Frankel 6:52 am on May 30, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Call me a cynic but maybe this guy did this after 20 years of banking a million a year. Maybe?

      I don’t play lotteries or dream of a lot of money because I’m old enough to know that a lot of money only gets me in trouble. You can quote me on that Muse.


    • mistermuse 9:57 am on May 30, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Actually, the guy began his business in his college dorm in 2004 at age 19, so he probably didn’t start banking a million until 2005 (just joking – it may have been 2006 or 2007, ha ha).

      Glad to hear you don’t dream of a lot of money, Don. After all, there are a lot of other ways to get into trouble!


    • literaryeyes 3:14 pm on June 1, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      This Evan Esar sounds interesting. Thanks.

      Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse 5:14 pm on June 1, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Evan Esar is the author of a 1968 book titled 20,000 QUIPS & QUOTES (both his and those of others). I think you can still buy it online, if interested.


    • arekhill1 9:51 am on June 9, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Money is the root of all evil,. they say. Personally, I can’t afford all the evil I want, so it may be true.


    • mistermuse 3:30 pm on June 9, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      I’m not buying that, Ricardo – I hear you wouldn’t kill a fly (unless it was hovering around your glass of brew).


  • mistermuse 10:33 am on October 29, 2014 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , H. L. Mencken, Harold Macmillan, , , , , ,   


    With Congress, every time they make a joke it’s a law. And every time they make a law, it’s a joke. -Will Rogers

    Mistermuse recently asked himself Why, if he likes jokes so much, he can’t stand politicians. After all, if it weren’t for politicians and the like, he would have to come up with all-original material for his posts instead of incorporating the likes of the above quote.

    So mistermuse tells himself it’s like taking the old Christian admonition to “hate the sin but love the sinner” and (as an ex-Christian in good standing) converting it: abhor the politicial sinners but adore the political sins. And what better time to put that into practice than the final days of interminable political ads before the merciful mid-terminal elections….starting with a sobering example of political confession:

    It must have happened during one of my drunken stupors. –Rob Ford (former mayor of Toronto) when a video of him smoking crack cocaine was uncovered by police months after he repeatedly denied its existence.

    America is the only country where you can go on the air and kid politicians, and where politicians go on the air and kid the people. -Groucho Marx

    The more you observe politics, the more you’ve got to admit that each party is worse than the other. –Will Rogers

    What’s the use of a third party when the country doesn’t know what to do with the two parties it has now? -Evan Esar

    I will make a bargain with the Republicans: if they will stop telling lies about Democrats, we will stop telling the truth about them. –Adlai Stevenson

    I have never found in a long experience in politics that criticism is ever inhibited by ignorance. –Harold Macmillan

    To err is human, to blame it on the other party is politics. -S. Omar Barker

    Congress is really made up of children that never grow up. -Will Rogers

    Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise than Christianity has made them good. -H. L. Mencken

    And on that cautionary note, we note that next Tuesday is election day — vote for the lesser of two devils, even if you think it only encourages them.



    • arekhill1 1:11 pm on October 29, 2014 Permalink | Reply

      “I belong to no organized political party. I’m a Democrat.” I think it was Will Rogers way back when, but nowadays you could say the same about the Republicans.


    • mistermuse 1:44 pm on October 29, 2014 Permalink | Reply

      Same principle with the Mencken quote – nowadays you could say the same for a number of religions, not only Christianity (yes, I know many religions do good things, but religion and doing good things don’t depend on one another).


  • mistermuse 12:55 am on April 19, 2014 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , H. L. Mencken,   


    Creator: a comedian
    whose audience is
    afraid to laugh.
    — H. L. Mencken

    Comedian: a creator
    whose audience is
    arrayed to laugh.
    — mistermuse

    • Don Frankel 4:42 am on April 20, 2014 Permalink | Reply

      Muse maybe you’re on to something. Maybe this is what it is all about. Just depends what’s on tonight.


    • mistermuse 6:04 am on April 20, 2014 Permalink | Reply

      Love the “Comedy Tonight” clip, Don. Talk about coming “dressed for jest!”


  • mistermuse 8:52 pm on April 3, 2014 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , April 3, freedom, H. L. Mencken, Independence Day, July 4th, liberty, Soren Kierkegaard, , Woodrow Wilson   


    If ever someone invented a freedom-loving holiday, this is the day. July 4th may be Independence Day, but April 3rd is even more liberating (if less patriotic). July 4 is a federal holiday when servicemen present arms at certain ceremonies; April 3 is an international holiday when fed-up men present asses without ceremony — and if anyone doesn’t like it …. well, (s)he can smooch you-know-what. As for me, I’m going to present the liberated observations of other men, and take the rest of the day off (April 3 also happens to be Don’t Go To Work Day):

    What distinguishes Independence Day from all other days is that both orators and artillerymen shoot blank cartridges.  –John Burroughs

    Liberty doesn’t work as well in practice as it does in speeches.  –Will Rogers

    Liberty, n. One of Imagination’s most precious possessions.  –Ambrose Bierce (THE DEVIL’S DICTIONARY)

    Liberty is being free from the things we don’t like in order to be slaves of the things we do like.  –Ernest Benn

    Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting.  —Alan Dean Foster

    The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that you have to spend much of your life defending sons-of-bitches.  –H. L. Mencken

    People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.  —Soren Kierkegaard

    The greatest freedom of speech [is] the greatest safety, because if a man is a fool, the best thing is to encourage him to advertise the fact by speaking.  –Woodrow Wilson

    Give me liberty or give me drink.  –Patrick O’Henry

    The last word goes (as usual, ha ha) to a woman:

    Please feel free to contact me with other matters that are of importance to you. I am honored to serve as your representative in the U. S. Congress. i think you’re an asshole.  –Jo Ann Emerson (letter sent to constituent; she subsequently claimed no knowledge of how the last line got added)


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