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  • mistermuse 12:01 am on May 9, 2018 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: Abraham Lincoln, , , , , , John Glenn, , , , , , Truman Capote,   

    MAY IS OLDER AMERICANS MONTH (and don’t you forget it!) 

    May is OLDER AMERICANS MONTH. I’m pretty sure I qualify as an older American because, as George Washington told me, “The time is now near at hand which must probably determine whether Americans are to be free men or slaves”….or maybe I’m thinkin’ of Lincoln (incidental details, like who said what, can get a bit hazy at my age). No matter — either way, it proves I’ve been around long enough to establish my bona feces.

    As long as I’m quoting bigwigs I have known or could have known (as the case may be), no doubt you will be interested in other memorable quotes that I remember, most of which admittedly weren’t said to me directly, but which I either overheard, or were whiskered to me in confidence by the quotees under their goatees (or beards, as the face may be):

    Old age is no place for sissies. –Bette Davis (whose facial hair at the time was confined to a mustache, as I recall)

    Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act. –Truman Capote

    Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened. –Jennifer Yane

    If I’d known I was going to live this long, I’d have taken better care of myself. — variously attributed to  Eubie Blake, Adolph Zukor and Mae West, among others

    There is no cure for the common birthday. —John Glenn

    You’re only as old as the girl that you feel. –Groucho Marx

    Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. –Chili Davis

    Time may be a great healer, but it’s a lousy beautician. –Anonymous

    Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end, the faster it goes. –Anonymous

    So there you have the story of my anonymous existence: just when I’m on a roll, I run flush out of time. C’est la vie. Take it on out, Pops (Louis) and Schnoz (Jimmy):






    • Carmen 1:26 am on May 9, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      Speaking of toilet paper – I don’t know about you mistermuse, but I’m looking forward to forgetting all the stupid sh*t I’ve done. . . 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 8:29 am on May 9, 2018 Permalink | Reply

        I don’t mean to spoil your hopes, Carmen, but may you have a long time to wait. 🙂


    • scifihammy 7:19 am on May 9, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      haha I like the quotes – and the fact that you knew George Washington! 😀

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 8:45 am on May 9, 2018 Permalink | Reply

        I not only knew him — we were so close, he admitted to me that he didn’t chop down the cherry tree — it was a SLIPPERY ELM (which is why it took him so long to get a handle on it….not to mention that the handle was missing a blade).

        Liked by 1 person

    • GP Cox 8:15 am on May 9, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      Forget what? (just kidding – I think). It’s about time us old folks got an honorable mention around Blogsville!

      Liked by 1 person

    • Don Frankel 12:27 pm on May 9, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      They give us a whole month? Some of us might not use all of it. But when it comes to time sometimes its the same…

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 3:40 pm on May 9, 2018 Permalink | Reply

        Don, this is for those who “might not use all of it”:

        Note: Billie is backed this time by (among others) jazz legends Lester Young on tenor sax, Roy Eldridge on trumpet, and Teddy Wilson on piano.


    • D. Wallace Peach 8:08 pm on May 9, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      Oh goodness. I’m among this crowd. At least the sense of humor remains intact! The quote from Chili Davis is my favorite because it’s 100% true! Keep up the laughter. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 10:43 pm on May 9, 2018 Permalink | Reply

        Thanks, Diana. I almost didn’t use the Chili Davis quote because initially, I couldn’t decide between it and a similar one by Ogden Nash (“You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.”). I finally chose the Davis quote because I couldn’t stay undecided indefinitely. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

    • eths 10:44 pm on May 9, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      I love the quotes!

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 11:00 pm on May 9, 2018 Permalink | Reply

        Thank you. I especially liked the Capote, Yane, Glenn and ‘t.p.’ quotes because they were new to me, whereas the others were familiar.


    • Silver Screenings 9:37 am on May 10, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      I’ve never seen this clip with Louis Armstrong and Jimmy Durante. The both of them have SO MUCH CHARISMA!

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 12:16 pm on May 10, 2018 Permalink | Reply

        Louis was long past his trumpet-playing prime by the time of that clip, and Jimmy was even older (by 7 years), but they both still had ‘it,’ charisma-wise. Interestingly, Jimmy also started out as a jazzman, playing piano and (in 1916) organizing the Original New Orleans Jazz Band (in New York!).


    • restlessjo 12:58 pm on May 12, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      All of them true, alas 🙂 🙂 But I won’t let it spoil my weekend.

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 3:06 pm on May 12, 2018 Permalink | Reply

        Do you know the definition of “weekend?” It’s the shortest distance between Friday and Monday — so enjoy it before it’s over! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

    • RMW 12:47 pm on May 24, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      A little late commenting but my excuse is I was in Brighton, England (my birthplace) celebrating my birthday on this very day. So, as it was a big number birthday this post was very appropriate. Although I’m getting older, life is getting better. I’ve been saving the best for last. However, I do agree with the toilet paper analogy.

      Liked by 1 person

  • mistermuse 12:00 am on June 25, 2016 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: Abraham Lincoln, , , , , , , John Adams, , , , , , ,   


    Eight years ago, I said it was time to change the tone of politics; in hindsight, I should have been more specific. — Barack Obama (2016 White House Correspondents’ Dinner)

    • * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

    I am going to miss President Obama when he’s ‘gone’….if for no other virtue than his laid-back wit — a quality sadly lacking in the two major candidates to succeed him, Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump  (not to mention his wit-less former GOP rivals):

    One View: 2016 candidates lack wit of predecessors

    At least Hillary managed a treasonable (to Trump apologists) facsimile of wit in a June 21 speech: “Trump has written a lot of books about business – they all seem to end at chapter 11” (a reference to his four corporate bankruptcies). Granted, that line was probably conceived by a speech writer, but she delivered it as if it were her baby, and to hold it against her is extraneous to witticisms delivered by past actual or would-be Presidents. Wit the help of assiduous research, here are a dozen of yore favorites (and I quote):

    I do declare, if this be true, General Pinckney has kept them all for himself and cheated me out of my two. –John Adams (in response to rumors that he had dispatched the General to England to bring back four mistresses: two for Pinckney and two for Adams)

    If I had two faces, would I be wearing this one? –Abraham Lincoln (when accused by Stephen Douglas of being two-faced)

    Accuracy to a newspaper is what virtue is to a lady; but a newspaper can always print a retraction. –Adlai Stevenson

    Politics is supposed to be the second-oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first. –Ronald Reagan

    Being President is like running a cemetery: you’ve got a lot of people under you and nobody’s listening. –Bill Clinton

    If the Republicans will stop telling lies about the Democrats, we will stop telling the truth about them. –Adlai Stevenson

    Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt. –Abraham Lincoln (Are you listening, Donald Trump?)

    I hope you’re all Republicans. —Ronald Reagan (to surgeons upon entering the operating room following 1981 assassination attempt)

    I think this is the most extraordinary collection of talent, of human knowledge, that has ever been gathered together at the White House, with the possible exception of when Thomas Jefferson dined alone. –John F. Kennedy (at a White House dinner honoring Nobel Prize winners)

    I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency — even if I’m in a cabinet meeting. –Ronald Reagan

    A hypocrite is the kind of politician who would cut down a redwood tree, then mount the stump and make a speech for conservation. –Adlai Stevenson

    When they call the role in the Senate, the Senators don’t know whether to answer “present” or “not guilty.” –Teddy Roosevelt

    And with that exhaustive compendium, I’m at wit’s end.


    • Michele 12:57 am on June 25, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Yes the living here in Florida is easy but also challenging at times. I liked your Wits End poem and enjoyed the commentary from several of our nation’s wittiest politicians. Oh my! I had not realized how life of John Adams’ was so stressful that he chose to have a duel Thank you mistermuse for writing about this topic.

      Liked by 2 people

      • mistermuse 2:18 am on June 25, 2016 Permalink | Reply

        Michele, I’m guessing that you meant “duo” (not “duel”) — although, if the rumors had been true, Adams might have chosen to duel the General for having “kept them all for himself!”


    • Michele 1:10 am on June 25, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      A funny and entertaining poem and commentary. Your quotes are notable. The elected officials are not always the smartest but they are certainly easy to talk with on more than one question:

      Liked by 1 person

    • charlypriest 6:36 am on June 25, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      I won´t get into politics because we disagree and I will make you such a great argument to vote for Trump and that you would be so dazed that I will have to buy you a weel chair…..so I got the so I got the real solution, I´m going to get into the race so you can vote for me. These are my 3 primary things to change in America
      1- Manddatory to go to MacDonalds once a day
      2- Mandatory to have sex at least 3 times a week( that would bring the calories of the burger down, see? Balance)
      3- Mandatory to party twice a week ( taking off the stress will make you go back to work on Monday with renewed energy therefore the workforce will be more productive)


      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 7:08 am on June 25, 2016 Permalink | Reply

        I suspect a multi-million dollar donation from MacDonalds to your campaign is in the mail as we speak (as well as similar donations from Wendy’s, Burger King, Arby’s, etc. to your opponents’ campaigns).

        Liked by 2 people

    • linnetmoss 8:07 am on June 25, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Hillary has an unexpected talent for delivering funny lines. If only she would loosen up a little and learn to love a joke 🙂 Lord knows we need something to laugh about these days.

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 10:26 am on June 25, 2016 Permalink | Reply

        I’d like to see Hillary use more lines like the “chapter 11” zinger I cited in my post. As I said, I doubt that she came up with it herself, but her delivery was spot-on, which is a talent in itself. Obama probably doesn’t write most of his funny lines, though I believe he is more than capable of doing so (Hillary, not so much).
        Looking over the list of 12 quotes, it would be interesting to know which ones were original to those who spoke them. My money would be on Lincoln, Adams and Stevenson for sure, and Reagan for at least the “I hope you’re all Republicans” quip.

        Liked by 2 people

        • linnetmoss 12:47 pm on June 25, 2016 Permalink

          Hillary might be funny in private. That’s what her aides say, any way. It’s riskier for women to use humor in public. But I agree that she should develop that talent for delivery. And get some good writers. Humor can be a powerful weapon in the coming election!

          Liked by 3 people

        • mistermuse 4:23 pm on June 25, 2016 Permalink

          I agree that “Humor can be a powerful weapon in the coming election” — but with the emphasis on “can be”….as in POWERFUL BUT NOT SUFFICIENT (a variant of ‘necessary but not sufficient’). There has probably never been a wittier Presidential candidate than Adlai Stevenson, but the relatively humorless Dwight Eisenhower beat him in a landslide in the 1952 election. Fortunately for Hillary, The Donald is no Eisenhower, and I think more wit of the “chapter 11” type would serve her well.


    • Don Frankel 10:10 am on June 25, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      I like TR’s the best there as it seems the most apropos in New York right now. But what will all this Brexit mean? Tune in Monday and find out. Also an update on Dumbgate.

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 10:36 am on June 25, 2016 Permalink | Reply

        Speaking of TR, what this country needs right now is one more Teddy Roosevelt and one less TRump running for President.


    • D. Wallace Peach 4:57 pm on June 25, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      These are great. Who knew Reagan was such a wit? Sad that some of the old ones still apply today 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse 6:05 pm on June 25, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Reagan proved that one doesn’t have to be an intellectual to be witty. On the other hand, Adlai Stevenson (who is little remembered today) proved that an intellectual can be extremely witty (but not necessarily a successful Presidential candidate).

      Liked by 1 person

    • Cynthia Jobin 7:16 pm on June 25, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      What is “an intellectual”? Who is “smart?” Shouldn’t the humor of wit appeal in a universal way, to regular human beings in general, and not as an adolescent “in joke” appealing to the cafeteria table where all the popular kids hang out? (for example, “chapter eleven” would be meaningless to a great number of ordinary people, and is it actually true about the number of chapters in the book?) I say this because I find nothing to enjoy or find witty about Barach Obama or Hillary Clinton. I take a risk weighing-in here, since the smoke of lopsided partisan politics is so thick it forms the letters: “MEMBERS ONLY.”

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 9:05 pm on June 25, 2016 Permalink | Reply

        I suppose one could put “an intellectual” in the same class as Potter Stewart’s being unable to define pornography, but knowing it when he sees it. So I don’t find it hard to see Adlai Stevenson as an intellectual and Donald Trump as other-wise, though it goes without saying (?) that not every juxtaposition is so black and white….speaking of which, I half agree with you regarding Barack Obama, and completely agree re Hillary Clinton (as I indicate in my post). I think Obama is pretty darn funny at the annual White House Correspondents’ Dinners (though I’m sure most, if not all, his witty remarks come from his speech writers). Outside of such occasions, he is indeed almost entirely serious….and I probably would be too, in his position.

        BTW, if I may say so, I definitely do not agree that the humor of wit must NECESSARILY appeal only to “regular human beings in general,” although perhaps in an ideal world, it should. Take, for example, the John F. Kennedy quote (or the Hillary quote, for that matter). Should those quotes be disqualified as witty just because “a great number of regular human beings” may not ‘get’ them? That seems to me to make a virtue of insufficient education (which I don’t mean in a way that faults anyone for something that may well not be their fault). I don’t think humor needs to fit in one box. Jokes no doubt should appeal in a universal way; wit: not so much.

        Liked by 1 person

        • Cynthia Jobin 9:45 pm on June 25, 2016 Permalink

          I like what you say here. I still think the chapter eleven joke was a joke and not wit, as you’ve nicely differentiated those things. Now for another expression…which, as a life long teacher, and denizen of schools, I would be interested to explore, if I weren’t too weary at the moment: “insufficient” education…I have known persons with a PhD.. whom I would deem insufficiently educated.

          Liked by 1 person

        • mistermuse 10:35 pm on June 25, 2016 Permalink

          I think we can probably agree that there are a number of things that can’t be completely separated in all instances, and that, though I drew a distinction between jokes and wit, there can be crossover. I will therefore meet you halfway on “chapter eleven” and call it a witty joke. And you will get no argument from me regarding some with a PhD being insufficiently educated!

          Liked by 1 person

    • Richard 1:30 pm on June 27, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Should we lower the level of humor to a universally understandable one for reasons of political correctness. (Still on vacation, and can`t find the rightside up question mark on this Spanish keyboard). Wouldn`t that leave us with nada but knock-knock jokes? (Found it!) But I will also regret the changing of Adminstrations no matter who wins. When will we have a President as chill as Obama again? You and I may well not live long enough to see it, Sr. Muse.

      Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse 2:57 pm on June 27, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      My guess is that the average person (who isn’t well-versed in history and current events) probably finds much of my wordplay over their heads, but if one must lower his/her “level of humor” to a universally understandable one, what’s the point — that anyone who doesn’t ‘dumb down’ their wit is guilty of being an ELITIST (pardon my language) and should be ostracized? In short, I agree with you, Ricardo.


    • eths 12:22 am on June 28, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Wonderful! I think Hillary has a great sense of humor. Watch: http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/hillary-clinton-bar-talk/2916002

      Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse 9:15 am on June 28, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Thanks for the clip, in which Hillary does very well. I agree that Hillary has a good, & perhaps even great, sense of humor, but there are lots of people who have a good sense of humor who aren’t witty, and I would put Hillary in that category. I don’t mean that in a derogatory sense, because I think wit is in a person’s DNA, and to not have it is not that person’s fault.

      What I really like about that clip is that she’s not afraid to be self-deprecating, and that’s a type of humor that is completely foreign to the likes of Donald Trump, who has probably never said a self-deprecating thing in his life.


    • Richard Cahill 11:08 am on June 29, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      The dumbing down of humor would be a bad idea indeed, Sr. Muse–all we would have left would be knock-knock jokes.


    • mistermuse 3:07 pm on June 29, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Who’s there?
      June who?
      June 29th.
      So what?
      So tune in tomorrow for the follow-up to this post.


    • barkinginthedark 12:07 am on July 21, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      “If the Republicans will stop telling lies about the Democrats, we will stop telling the truth about them.” –Adlai Stevenson one of the all-time wittiest quotes….just like W. – or Trump eh? continue….

      Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse 8:09 am on July 21, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      If only Adlai were alive today, I would love to see him running for Pres against The Donald (aka the battle of The Wit against The Witless).

      Liked by 1 person

  • mistermuse 3:10 pm on January 26, 2015 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: Abraham Lincoln, , , , , ,   


    According to a recent article in the Cincinnati Enquirer, “Frank, a cat, lay sick as a dog” and “in critical need of care”at a local boarding kennel a few years ago, while the cat’s owners were out of the country. They could not be reached, so the kennel’s owner rushed Frank to a 24-hour facility “which is like the Mayo Clinic for animals” instead of his regular veterinarian.

    The “Mayo Clinic” saved Frank (so-named after Ol’ Blue Eyes, Frank Sinatra), but when his owners returned home and went to pick him up, the bill was $2,600+ more than their regular vet would’ve charged. Long story short, owners hired attorney, sued kennel owner. Case finally comes to a hearing January 2015. Verdict: kennel had acted reasonably. Frank’s owners not only lost the case, they lost Frank, who had died in the meantime. They now have a dog.

    What am I make to of all this? Another post about old sayings and proverbs, of course….but limited to cats and dogs — though human readers are welcome to tag along too. This being a pet-friendly site, there will be some doggone purrfect quotes but no trick sayings thrown in (as was the case in my Jan. 23 post GEORGE (STILL) ON MY MIND). Today, cats and dogs reign!

    The dog may be wonderful prose, but only the cat is poetry. –French proverb

    Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. —Jeff Valdez

    Cats were put into the world to disprove the dogma that all things were created to serve man. –Paul Gray

    No mater how much the cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens. —Abraham Lincoln (who apparently didn’t feel free to say the same of humans)

    The cat loves fish, but is loath to wet her feet. –English proverb

    The man who carries a cat by the tail learns something that can be learned in no other way. —Mark Twain

    You own a dog but you feed a cat. –Jenny de Vries

    A cat is the only domestic animal I know who toilet trains itself and does a damned impressive job of it. –Joseph Epstein

    In order to keep a true perspective of one’s importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him. –Dereke Bruce

    The cat is domestic only as far as suits its ends. –Saki

    Speaking of ends….





    • arekhill1 3:30 pm on January 26, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      No one who sends me an unexpected $2600 bill can expect me to act reasonably.

      Liked by 2 people

      • Joseph Nebus 11:28 pm on January 26, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        I have to agree there. My unexpected-bill-reasonableness tops out pretty well below $2600. I say this after an unexpected-bill for about $600 in car repairs a few months ago that I’m still twitching over. (We saved the car.)

        Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse 5:54 pm on January 26, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      I don’t know who’s picture is on a $2600 bill (maybe Frank Sinatra’s?), but I’d investigate — it might be counterfeit.


    • Michaeline Montezinos 6:59 pm on January 26, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      I thought the quotes were funny and cute. Especially since I have such ‘fond’ memories of all the cats and dogs my daughter brought home. Not to mention the gerbils, a hamster, a guinea pig, and a blue parakeet cleverly named “Birdie.” The reason I remember Birdie is when he finally dropped dead in its cage (literally,) my daughter was so inconsolable. So I proceeded to pretend to give the bird CPR. I guess she thought I could bring the poor thing back to life. Sigh!


    • mistermuse 9:08 pm on January 26, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Well, there are men named Manny, so it seems perfectly logical to call a bird Birdy….or, for that matter, call a gerbil Gertie or Billy, a hamster Hammy, and a guinea pig Piggy. I don’t know about a fish, however – that might sound Fishy.


    • Don Frankel 9:20 am on January 27, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      I would say this is purrfect.

      Muse, Sinatra is on the $2,000 dollar bill.


    • mistermuse 11:10 am on January 27, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Thanks, Don. I should point out, just for the record, that the “Mayo Clinic for animals” bill was $3,800. $2,600 was the amount over and above the $1,200 Frank’s regular vet testified he would’ve charged for the same procedure. But the Sinatra angle is pertinent because the cat had blue eyes, which is why his owners named him Frank, and since there was no $2,600 bill for Sinatra to be on, I’m glad to know he’s on the $2,000 bill.


      • Michaeline Montezinos 9:09 pm on January 27, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        I thought your renaming of the exotic pets was special, Muse. I know you are more into jazz and the good songs of the 20’s and 30’s. This is not a fish tail but a true story linked to a “famous musical icon” of the past century.

        We had five goldfish we inherited from illegal aliens who were evicted. Eventually they shared the aquarium with the turtle and some tropical fish. My daughter took the aquarium to her house after we got tired of cleaning it.

        Later she discovered one of the goldfish had turned completely white but his brothers remained the same color. Thereafter, they were known as the Jackson Five. The white fish was tagged as Michael Jackson. When that fish (not named Wanda) died years later, we did not bury him in a sacred cat fur blanket. Michael would’ve hated that.


    • mistermuse 10:42 pm on January 27, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Good story. For those not familiar with it, “A Fish Called Wanda” was a very funny early ’80s movie starring a Cleese called John, a Curtis called Jamie Lee, and a Kline called Kevin. As for a Jackson named Michael, the best I can say is, to each his own.


    • imaginenewdesigns12 1:19 am on January 31, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Thank you for liking “The Blue Hour,” “Twilight,” and “Snowstorm.” I like your post, especially the quotes. My cats are demanding pets, but at least they give me a lot of affection in return. I can see in their eyes how grateful they are that I take care of them (except when I take them to the vet for shots and medical treatment). 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  • mistermuse 5:14 pm on October 18, 2014 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: Abraham Lincoln, Anita O'Day, , Bobby Troup, Fanny Hurst, , , Lee Harvey Oswald, October birthdays, Paul Chuckle, Wynton Marsalis   


    Today is mistermuse’s birthday. Did I hear you say, “What of it?” Fine. It happens that I’ve been drawing a _____ lately trying to think of something to write about, so my birthday has come around at a most propitious time — the day of my birth — and now the world need not bear to go another day without the sound of musing. Thanks, mom….you too, dad.

    I thought it might be interesting (to me, at any rate) to check this date in history to see what other noteworthy misters and misfits were born on October 18. Or….I could tell some birthday jokes. Or….if the lesser of two evils isn’t your idea of an optimum choice, I could do both. Actually, let’s do that. First, the October 18th birthdays:

    1889 – Fanny Hurst, novelist. Notwithstanding early fame, her novels and autobiography (titled Anatomy of Me) didn’t sit well with most critics.
    1918 – Bobby Troup, songwriter. You may not know his name, but his song lives on:
    1919 – Anita O’Day, vocalist. One of the top jazz stylists of her time.
    1939 – Lee Harvey Oswald, JFK assassin. A name that lives in infamy.
    1947 – Paul Chuckle, British comedian. As apt stage names go, no doubt a better choice than Paul Chortle, Paul Guffaw, or Paul Bearer.
    1961 – Wynton Marsalis, jazz trumpeter. 1983 Grammy Award winner.

    Last but least, the birthday jokes:

    What do Santa’s reindeer sing to him on his birthday? Freeze a jolly good fellow!
    Why couldn’t Stone Age man send birthday cards? The stamps wouldn’t stick to the rocks.
    What do George Washington, Abraham Lincoln and mistermuse all have in common? They were all (but for one oversight) born on holidays.
    A man’s only as old as the woman he feels. –Groucho Marx
    When I asked my wife what she wanted for her birthday, she said “Nothing would make me happier than diamond earrings.” So I gave her nothing.
    In life one has to go to the funerals of people we like and the birthdays of people we don’t. Thanks for coming anyway.




    • scifihammy 6:31 pm on October 18, 2014 Permalink | Reply

      Happy Birthday! 🙂


    • mistermuse 7:10 pm on October 18, 2014 Permalink | Reply

      Thanks….and same to you (whenever).


    • oaplascencia 9:30 pm on October 18, 2014 Permalink | Reply



    • mistermuse 9:48 pm on October 18, 2014 Permalink | Reply

      Muchas gracias!


    • Michaeline Montezinos 11:03 pm on October 18, 2014 Permalink | Reply

      Happy Birthday, mistermuse! And many more musings!


    • mistermuse 6:27 am on October 19, 2014 Permalink | Reply

      Thanks, Michaeline. Speaking of musing, it seems like only yesterday that I became a year older. That’s a musing, but only slightly amusing.


    • arekhill1 12:20 pm on October 19, 2014 Permalink | Reply

      Hey! What’s the deal with someone already offering you “feliz cumpleanos?” I thought I was your only barely bilingual friend, Sr. Muse.


    • mistermuse 4:07 pm on October 19, 2014 Permalink | Reply

      The first commenter is from Cape Town, so I assume his greeting is in African. Although it looks like English, he is so bilingual, you can’t tell the difference. But no matter how many bilingual followers respond to my musings, you will always be numero uno in my corazon, Ricardo.


    • Joseph Nebus 11:17 pm on October 19, 2014 Permalink | Reply

      Oh, I think infamy’s overstated. There are many people who view JFK with a certain warmth and fondness these days.


      • mistermuse 7:12 am on October 20, 2014 Permalink | Reply

        The expression of that warmth and fondness is certain to be manifested soon (Nov. 22), the 51st anniversary of JFK’s assination. I think many of us old timers still remember where we were and what we were doing when we heard the news.


    • Don Frankel 4:28 am on October 20, 2014 Permalink | Reply

      Happy Birthday Mistermuse. I’m a little late but..

      “May you’re glass forever be full. May the roof over your head ever be strong and may we both be in heaven for a half an hour before the Devil knows we’re dead.”


    • literaryeyes 8:23 pm on October 20, 2014 Permalink | Reply

      What would we do on a Mistermuse holiday?


    • mistermuse 12:01 am on October 21, 2014 Permalink | Reply

      On a holiday for Mistermuse,
      You could do quite anything you choose.
      Nothing would be too contrary for Mary to refuse….
      After all, what has Mistermuse to lose?


  • mistermuse 12:09 am on April 30, 2014 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: Abraham Lincoln, April 30, , Honest Abe, , , , , National Honesty Day, Oliver Wendell Holmes, , , ,   


    April 30 is National Honesty Day, and in all honesty, few are better qualified to wax veracious on this subject than I, or my name isn’t mistermuse. I have even composed a little poem (which I dedicate to my fellow man) to celebrate the occasion:

    Always be honest with yourself
    To make the most of life —
    It will save you untold trouble
    Unless you tell your wife.

    Of course, no homage to honesty would be complete without a contribution from the most honest man (recusing myself from consideration) who ever lived, “Honest Abe,” whose real name was Abraham Lincoln. Fortunately, “Honest Abe” acquired that reputation well before becoming a politician, so we can be reasonably confident that he was indeed honest, and so accustomed to truth-telling that not even politics could break him of the habit. He therefore gets the honor of leading off this compilation of quotations on honesty:

    If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?  –Abraham Lincoln

    Honesty is the best policy.  —Benjamin Franklin

    I have not observed men’s honesty to increase with their riches.  –Thomas Jefferson

    Honesty is the best policy – for poor people.  —Evan Esar

    It is better to be quotable than to be honest.  –Tom Stoppard (who managed to be both for the price of one?)

    Honesty is the best policy – when there is money in it.  —Mark Twain

    Pretty much all the honest truth-telling in the world is done by children.  –Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr.

    Today I bent the truth to be kind, and I have no regret, for I am far surer of what is kind than I am of what is true.  –Robert Brault

    Nothing is so difficult as not deceiving oneself.  –Ludwig Wittgenstein

    We are all travelers in the wilderness of this world, and the best we can find is an honest friend.  –Robert Louis Stevenson


    • Don Frankel 5:32 am on May 1, 2014 Permalink | Reply

      Great advice here, especially your marital advice. If you leave out telling your wife it is very easy to be honest. Honesty is a relative thing as it does depend on what someone’s definition of is, is.


    • mistermuse 6:43 am on May 1, 2014 Permalink | Reply

      Don, your mention of Bill Clinton’s theory of relativity causes me to question my marital advice. I wonder if he would’ve saved himself untold trouble if he had told Hillary about Monica?


    • Don Frankel 5:41 pm on May 1, 2014 Permalink | Reply

      It seems she knew all about it. But I loved his answer. Besides no one ever proved he had sex with that woman. All that dress proved was he almost had sex with her.


    • Michaeline Montezinos 5:29 pm on July 3, 2014 Permalink | Reply

      I enjoyed the Honesty post and the I Forgot Day. The latter seems right for me since I had my concussion 3 weeks ago. I am getting my memory back. Reading mistermuse’s posts and the comments is helping. Three more weeks to go and I should be all well. Hope you all have a Happy Fourth!


    • mistermuse 7:30 pm on July 3, 2014 Permalink | Reply

      Michaeline, I’m going to reply to your comment before I forget. Have a safe and happy Fourth, and remember to keep wearing your football helmet for another 3 weeks. Better safe than sorry! 🙂


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