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  • mistermuse 12:00 am on July 25, 2016 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , , pet names, pet rocks, pets,   

    LET BYGONES BE BYGONES 

    It’s nice for children to have pets — until the pets start having children. –Evan Esar

    • * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

    I think if I owned a pet (be it dog, cat, or rock), I would name it BYGONES….if for no other reason than just thinking of that name suggested the idea for a post such as the one you’re reading. But beyond that, there is this: by God, any pet I own deserves a name that is not only as unique as some of the names we give our kids, but reflects my forgiving nature. Thus (for example), if my pet rock would decide to follow a cat up a tree and get stuck, I’d be willing to tell my rock I forgive it for being stuck up….and let Bygones be Bygones.

    Now, I’ll admit that “Bygones” may not be the most sexy pet name in the world, but as you might conclude from the opening quote, “sexy” & “pet” aren’t the mix I’d look for if I were looking for my ideal pet (more up my platonic pet alley would be, not a cool cat or hot dog, but an ugly rock). After all, how are we to control the pet population if we keep giving our pets such seductive names as these actual pet names gleaned from Google-eyed research:

    BABY CAKES
    BIG DADDY
    BLOSSOM BUTT
    BOO BOO
    BUNBUNS

    CHUNKY BUNNY
    CUDDLE CAKES
    CUTIE PATOOTIE
    FLUFFER-NUTTER
    HONEY PANTS

    HOTNESS
    HOTTIE
    HUGGALUMP
    KISSY FACE
    LADY KILLER

    LOVE MUFFIN
    LOVER BOY
    LOVER GIRL
    McSTEAMY
    MISTER CUTIE

    MONKEY BUNS
    MOOKIE-POOKIE BEAR
    NUM NUMS
    PARADISE
    POP TART

    PUSSY CAT
    SCHMOOOOKY POOKIE POOO
    SEXY MAMA
    SNOOGYPUSS
    UNCLE UPRIGHT

    Come on, admit it — even if you perchance to be the most domesticated of creatures, you might turn into a tiger if you were called any of the above by a sex of the opposite member….not to mention, if called such censored terms of endearment as these:

    So, until we meet again, my little winky-dinky petsy-wetsy….

     

     

     

     
    • scifihammy 3:16 am on July 25, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      haha Fun post 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

    • linnetmoss 7:15 am on July 25, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Actually, “rhubarb pie slice” isn’t so bad. Rube for short? But when we get another cat I am planning to name it Sven-Olaf. Unless it’s a girl.

      Liked by 2 people

    • Carmen 7:24 am on July 25, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Well, mr moozy-woozy, that was absolutely hilarious. 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

      • mistermuse 10:34 am on July 25, 2016 Permalink | Reply

        Carmen, you left yourself open to being called ms. floozy-woozy in return, but I shall resist the temptation by virtue of your character, which I assume is beyond reproach. 🙂

        Like

    • arekhill1 11:45 am on July 25, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Uncle Upright sounds vaguely incestuous and perverse. I’d go with that.

      Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse 1:29 pm on July 25, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      I think it depends on where you live, Ricardo. In my neighboring state of Kentucky, I hear it’s not considered incestuous at all.

      Liked by 1 person

    • BroadBlogs 11:34 pm on July 26, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Good theme. And know that I miss your comments.

      Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse 10:07 am on July 27, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Thanks. I haven’t been able to do much commenting on other blog posts in the past few weeks due to “events beyond my control” (aka life is what happens when one has other plans). Hopefully things will return to normal (if there is such a thing) before long.

      Liked by 2 people

    • literaryeyes 1:00 pm on July 28, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      I have a huge grey and white male cat named Buttons. Go figure! Sometimes I call him Butterball.

      Liked by 2 people

    • mistermuse 5:20 pm on July 28, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Most cats seem indifferent to whatever you call them, so if he’s a fat cat, you might as well call him BUTTERBALL….or even FEED ME, as a sort of reminder of your duty to him.

      Like

      • Michaeline Montezinos 2:37 pm on July 29, 2016 Permalink | Reply

        I took in a stray dog I saw trying to go to the church one chilly November day in Ohio. No one claimed it so I became the owner. My daughter, her friend and I were walking Victor (that is what I named him ) along the rural suburban roads. Stopped to let him tinkle while my daughter and her friend, Stacy, burst out laughing. Then I found out my Victor was a Victoria and my face burned red with embarrassment. Also this reminded me of that movie with Julie Andrews and James Garner. It was called Victor/Victoria and it was about men and women cavorting nicely around the stage dressed as the opposite sex .My first and only childhood dog was a male named Bucky and he was lucky that I took care of him. My brothers didn’t care so I adopted Bucky who would do fun tricks in our beat up. back yard. Oh! what wonderful memories for my Mom. Bucky never had an “accident” in our house.

        Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse 6:10 pm on July 29, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Very interesting. I haven’t had a dog since I was a kid and haven’t wanted one since, but I still think almost every kid should have a dog or pet of some kind (and be responsible for taking care of it).

      Like

      • Michaeline Montezinos 7:06 pm on July 29, 2016 Permalink | Reply

        I have seen kids adopt fossils( not me) moon rocks, gemstone crystals and wilderness creatures as pets. Strange that two different species will bond together as a couple on the Animal Kingdom TV show without any hint of incest. mistermuse. Could these creatures know something that we don’t? iT IS NOT ABOUT REPRODUCTION BUT THE CUDDLING, KEEPING BABIES FED AND WARM. IT SEEMS TO BE THE SHARING OF CREATURE COMFORTS IN ORDER TO HELP THEM SURVIVE { sorry ABOUT THE CAPITAL LETTERS} my little finger is bent and hits the wrong key.

        Liked by 1 person

    • eths 6:23 pm on August 1, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Blossom butt! You’re kidding!

      Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse 9:13 pm on August 1, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Every name on that list was given by a pet owner to their pet. Some of them, the pet should have given back and said (in pet language) what you said: “You’re kidding!”

      Like

      • Carmen 9:26 pm on August 1, 2016 Permalink | Reply

        I’ve run into some children in that same circumstance. .. For instance, there’s a child in my province named Satan. ..yes, really.

        Liked by 1 person

        • mistermuse 10:29 pm on August 1, 2016 Permalink

          The devil you say! (That’s an old saying I remember from decades ago, but I’d never found an opportunity to use it until now. Thank you!)

          Like

    • Michaeline Montezinos 10:11 pm on August 1, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      How does child named Satan feel when he/she goes to school’ My friend told me she heard or read the news that Devil worshipers are now having their children go to a Satanic Preschool and then Kindergarten with the same curriculum. These families insist they are breaking any laws. They also feel that the teachers there will give their kids the “proper” education. I wonder if they also have Satan’s Grooming for your Pet. I guess you could call their canine Devil Dogs.The world is going to the dogs, I guess no pet or child is safe now..

      Like

      • Michaeline Montezinos 10:16 pm on August 1, 2016 Permalink | Reply

        I meant to write ” Their families insist they are NOT breading any laws..” At least they are not carrying guns.
        Whatever events have reshaped hour life, mistermuse, I hope you will be back on your feet very soon. Your previous posts are still great to read., Please take care of yourself.

        Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse 10:37 pm on August 1, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      The “events beyond my control” I referred to in a previous comment had little to do with my health, so there’s nothing to get back on my feet from. Nonetheless, I thank you for your concern, and otherwise, things are back to normal

      Like

      • Michaeline Montezinos 10:50 pm on August 1, 2016 Permalink | Reply

        Not worried about being back on your feet? I hope you did not type all of this standing up, my friend.
        I am just being a sarcastic devil cat.

        Like

    • mistermuse 2:41 pm on August 2, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Not-with-standing your sarcasm, Michaeline, I shall move on to thinking about my next post, which I expect will keep me on my toes for the next few days..

      Like

  • mistermuse 6:10 pm on February 6, 2015 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , , lame ducks, Pekin ducks, pets, , , ,   

    TODAY IS LAME DUCK DAY 

    With Congress – every time they make a joke it’s a law. And every time they make a law it’s a joke.
    –Will Rogers

    I don’t know who comes up with these “holidays,” but February 6 is LAME DUCK DAY, which might just as well be called LAME JOKE DAY because it recognizes incumbent politicians (and other potentates) whose term in power will soon expire. Now you may reason from the above quote that, like me, Will Rogers would think honoring Lame Ducks is a lame joke. But he also famously said he never met a man he didn’t like….and I assume he’d already met at least a few politicians when he said it. So, as much as I respect Mr. Rogers, we’re probably not in the same neighborhood on the subject of lame ducks. But that’s an easy fix — let’s change the subject. Let’s talk about healthy ducks.

    As it happens, since I was a boy, I’ve had a soft spot in my heart for ducks. I’ve had several as pets, the last of which was named Gussie. Gussie not only wasn’t lame, she wasn’t fussy….but she did have one thing in common with politicians: she laid many an egg during her tenure and never let it faze her. So here’s to Gussie and her Pekin predecessors, who inspired this poem I wrote many years ago (slightly updated):

    LORD LOVE A DUCK

    Lord love a duck
    And so do I….
    If you were me,
    That’s what I’d buy.

    But since you’re not
    Myself today,
    Let me put it
    To you this way:

    From wee duckling,
    Downy yellow,
    He’ll fast become
    White big fellow….

    Unless, of course,
    He lays an egg —
    In which case, you’ll
    Her pardon, beg.

    Oh, by the way,
    Friend, if you please,
    I hope that you
    Speak Pekin-ese.

    But seriously,
    Folks, as they say,
    That’s enough wise
    Quacks for today.

    You can search the Web,
    Even ask a vet —
    You won’t find a
    Better pet.

    They’ll stay outdoors
    In weather fowl,
    And not want in
    Or bark or howl.

    Their needs are few,
    As pet needs go —
    A cache of feed….
    Some H2O.

    And, best of all,
    A place to swim:
    No better treat
    For her or him.

    Before you know it,
    To me you’ll say,
    “Friend, have you hugged
    A duck today?”

     

     

     

     

     

     
    • Michaeline Montezinos 8:06 pm on February 6, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      THE DUCKS BY THE LAKE

      No, I have not hugged a duck today
      but I did watch them as they lay
      on the banks of Crescent Lake,
      as a journey I did take
      In my scooter named Spitfire,
      bought for me by my Squire.
      It has a horn that goes Beep! Beep!
      loud enough to wake a sheep;
      the ducks come in many shades
      and do not live in the Everglades.
      The funny mud hens are ducks, too,
      they come in tints of black and blue.
      When they hear my scooter go bonking by
      the ducks sound off with a honking cry,
      As my horn goes beeping and tooting
      Ducks come to visit or run scooting
      to the quiet shade of the banyan tree
      whose gnarled limbs are a wild melee.

      By Michaeline Montezinos, Copyright February 6, 2015

      (Inspired by a poem about “Ducks” written by mistermuse.)

      Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse 8:46 pm on February 6, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Very nice, Michaeline. The last two lines well describe a banyan tree – at least, as I remember a tree-mendous one I saw in Hawaii over 30 years ago.

      Like

    • arekhill1 1:01 pm on February 7, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      I had a traumatic childhood, like everybody else, and part of it revolved around two ducks I had for a few weeks as pets. They were busted for eating my mother’s crocuses, and I was told they were being taken away from me and going to a ‘big farm’ where they would quack their days away happily. It wasn’t for several years that Mom admitted they were instead eaten almost immediately by the “farmer.”

      Haven’t berated her for that in years. Better give her a call. Thanks for reminding me, guys.

      Like

    • mistermuse 4:08 pm on February 7, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned” – or (apparently) like a woman whose eaten crocuses are mourned. But you’re right, Ricardo – such childhood experiences never leave us. We forgive but can’t forget.

      Like

    • Don Frankel 3:17 pm on February 9, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      There’s a baseball expression “ducks on the pond” which mean you’re up and there are runners in scoring position. That never made any sense to me. I mean if I get a hit the ducks will swim in? Are they on base or something?

      Like

    • mistermuse 10:02 pm on February 9, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Don, l’ve heard the expression, but never stopped to consider the origin, so I Googled it. It apparently goes back to the 1940s, but there’s no clear “bases” for it. Sorry, I struck out.

      Like

  • mistermuse 3:10 pm on January 26, 2015 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , , , , pets,   

    REIGNING CATS & DOGS TODAY 

    According to a recent article in the Cincinnati Enquirer, “Frank, a cat, lay sick as a dog” and “in critical need of care”at a local boarding kennel a few years ago, while the cat’s owners were out of the country. They could not be reached, so the kennel’s owner rushed Frank to a 24-hour facility “which is like the Mayo Clinic for animals” instead of his regular veterinarian.

    The “Mayo Clinic” saved Frank (so-named after Ol’ Blue Eyes, Frank Sinatra), but when his owners returned home and went to pick him up, the bill was $2,600+ more than their regular vet would’ve charged. Long story short, owners hired attorney, sued kennel owner. Case finally comes to a hearing January 2015. Verdict: kennel had acted reasonably. Frank’s owners not only lost the case, they lost Frank, who had died in the meantime. They now have a dog.

    What am I make to of all this? Another post about old sayings and proverbs, of course….but limited to cats and dogs — though human readers are welcome to tag along too. This being a pet-friendly site, there will be some doggone purrfect quotes but no trick sayings thrown in (as was the case in my Jan. 23 post GEORGE (STILL) ON MY MIND). Today, cats and dogs reign!

    The dog may be wonderful prose, but only the cat is poetry. –French proverb

    Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. —Jeff Valdez

    Cats were put into the world to disprove the dogma that all things were created to serve man. –Paul Gray

    No mater how much the cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens. —Abraham Lincoln (who apparently didn’t feel free to say the same of humans)

    The cat loves fish, but is loath to wet her feet. –English proverb

    The man who carries a cat by the tail learns something that can be learned in no other way. —Mark Twain

    You own a dog but you feed a cat. –Jenny de Vries

    A cat is the only domestic animal I know who toilet trains itself and does a damned impressive job of it. –Joseph Epstein

    In order to keep a true perspective of one’s importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him. –Dereke Bruce

    The cat is domestic only as far as suits its ends. –Saki

    Speaking of ends….

     

     

     

     

     
    • arekhill1 3:30 pm on January 26, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      No one who sends me an unexpected $2600 bill can expect me to act reasonably.

      Liked by 2 people

      • Joseph Nebus 11:28 pm on January 26, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        I have to agree there. My unexpected-bill-reasonableness tops out pretty well below $2600. I say this after an unexpected-bill for about $600 in car repairs a few months ago that I’m still twitching over. (We saved the car.)

        Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse 5:54 pm on January 26, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      I don’t know who’s picture is on a $2600 bill (maybe Frank Sinatra’s?), but I’d investigate — it might be counterfeit.

      Like

    • Michaeline Montezinos 6:59 pm on January 26, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      I thought the quotes were funny and cute. Especially since I have such ‘fond’ memories of all the cats and dogs my daughter brought home. Not to mention the gerbils, a hamster, a guinea pig, and a blue parakeet cleverly named “Birdie.” The reason I remember Birdie is when he finally dropped dead in its cage (literally,) my daughter was so inconsolable. So I proceeded to pretend to give the bird CPR. I guess she thought I could bring the poor thing back to life. Sigh!

      Like

    • mistermuse 9:08 pm on January 26, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Well, there are men named Manny, so it seems perfectly logical to call a bird Birdy….or, for that matter, call a gerbil Gertie or Billy, a hamster Hammy, and a guinea pig Piggy. I don’t know about a fish, however – that might sound Fishy.

      Like

    • Don Frankel 9:20 am on January 27, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      I would say this is purrfect.

      Muse, Sinatra is on the $2,000 dollar bill.

      Like

    • mistermuse 11:10 am on January 27, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Thanks, Don. I should point out, just for the record, that the “Mayo Clinic for animals” bill was $3,800. $2,600 was the amount over and above the $1,200 Frank’s regular vet testified he would’ve charged for the same procedure. But the Sinatra angle is pertinent because the cat had blue eyes, which is why his owners named him Frank, and since there was no $2,600 bill for Sinatra to be on, I’m glad to know he’s on the $2,000 bill.

      Like

      • Michaeline Montezinos 9:09 pm on January 27, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        I thought your renaming of the exotic pets was special, Muse. I know you are more into jazz and the good songs of the 20’s and 30’s. This is not a fish tail but a true story linked to a “famous musical icon” of the past century.

        We had five goldfish we inherited from illegal aliens who were evicted. Eventually they shared the aquarium with the turtle and some tropical fish. My daughter took the aquarium to her house after we got tired of cleaning it.

        Later she discovered one of the goldfish had turned completely white but his brothers remained the same color. Thereafter, they were known as the Jackson Five. The white fish was tagged as Michael Jackson. When that fish (not named Wanda) died years later, we did not bury him in a sacred cat fur blanket. Michael would’ve hated that.

        Like

    • mistermuse 10:42 pm on January 27, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Good story. For those not familiar with it, “A Fish Called Wanda” was a very funny early ’80s movie starring a Cleese called John, a Curtis called Jamie Lee, and a Kline called Kevin. As for a Jackson named Michael, the best I can say is, to each his own.

      Like

    • imaginenewdesigns12 1:19 am on January 31, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Thank you for liking “The Blue Hour,” “Twilight,” and “Snowstorm.” I like your post, especially the quotes. My cats are demanding pets, but at least they give me a lot of affection in return. I can see in their eyes how grateful they are that I take care of them (except when I take them to the vet for shots and medical treatment). 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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