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  • mistermuse 1:02 am on September 15, 2020 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , Charles Schulz, Erma Bombeck, , , , John F. Kennedy, John Lewis, , , , Saint Augustine   

    DON’T ASK 

    You Asked For It (according to my previous post) — but this post is a different story, so….

     

    By a weird coincidence, ASK ME NO QUESTIONS AND I’LL TELL YOU NO LIES (a quote attributed to 18th century Irish novelist, playwright and poet Oliver Goldsmith) is my springboard for this post of “Don’t Ask” quotes — thus sparing you the fate of my last post, which subjected you to some questionable poems.

    Let’s plunge right in with perhaps the most famous DON’T ASK quote (at least in America):

    “Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country.” –John F. Kennedy

    Here’s another famous one (in jazz circles), leveled at squares:

    “If you have to ask what jazz is, you’ll never know.” –Louis Armstrong

    If you have a humorous bone in your body, the next three should bring a smile to your face:

    “Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask, Why me? Then a voice answers, Nothing personal, your name just happened to come up.” –Charles M. Schulz

    “Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people see things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don’t have time for all that.” –George Carlin

    “When your mother asks, “Do you want a piece of advice?’, it is a mere formality. It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no. You’re going to get it anyway.” –Erma Bombeck

    Now for some serious stuff:

    “What then is time? If no one asks me, I know what it is. If I wish to explain it to him who asks, I do not know.” –Saint Augustine

    “If you ask me whether the election of Barack Obama is the fulfillment of Dr. King’s dream, I say, ‘No, it’s just a down payment.” –John Lewis

    To close, here’s a quote I like which is a stretch to fit the category, but since it’s the birthday of the author, don’t ask me to re-think its inclusion here:

    “Thinkers think and doers do. But until the thinkers do and the doers think, progress will be just another word in the already overburdened vocabulary.” –Francois de La Rochefoucauld (9/15/1613–3/17/1680)

    I think that does it for now. How’s that for progress?

     

     

     
    • rawgod 2:39 am on September 15, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      If you don’t want to know the answer, please, don’t ask the question.

      Liked by 2 people

      • mistermuse 6:51 am on September 15, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        That would seem to be the badge of honor for Trump followers: you don’t want to know the answers because he already has them all.

        Liked by 2 people

        • rawgod 7:58 am on September 15, 2020 Permalink

          Pretty much.
          I just completed a musical rewrite of an old song. I’m not publishing it yet, but if you send me an email I will let you be the first to tell me what you think of it. g-e-w-c-o-l-o-@-g-m-a-i-l-.-c-o-m. I think they call them parodies.

          Liked by 2 people

    • calmkate 2:45 am on September 15, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      lol left me scratching my head, good one … love the song with the accordion!

      Now what is jazz? and what is time?
      must be the cue for a new rhyme …

      Liked by 4 people

      • mistermuse 7:21 am on September 15, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        Lawrence Welk must be turning over in his grave at such accordion blasphemy!

        This DON’T ASK post means mistermuse needn’t address such questions….
        However & nonetheless, Kate, if in distress, I’m open to readers’ suggestions.

        Liked by 2 people

        • calmkate 7:36 am on September 15, 2020 Permalink

          Well not being one to miss opportunities … the best female jazz artists? thank Mr M

          Liked by 2 people

        • mistermuse 6:56 pm on September 16, 2020 Permalink

          Kate, when it comes to “best female jazz artists,” I’ll start with a name almost all jazz lovers agree on: ELLA FITZGERALD. The rest of my (personal opinion) list will be names you’ve probably never heard of, belonging as they do to the long-past Golden Age of Popular Music: Mildred Bailey, The Boswell Sisters, Bea Wain, Midge Williams, Helen Forrest, Ethel Waters, Martha Tilton and of course, Billie Holiday (who you probably have heard of). A bit later (but still ancient history to those under 60), Peggy Lee and Dinah Washington were probably my post-WWII favorites.

          I sure I’ve left out a few names I should include, but the above will have to do for now..

          Like

    • JosieHolford 7:18 am on September 15, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Nice haunting bit of accordion there.

      And then there’s this from Alice. B.Toklas on the last words of Gertrude Stein:
      In a letter she wrote about those last words

      “She said upon waking from a sleep—What is the question. And I didn’t answer thinking she was not completely awakened. Then she said again—What is the question and before I could speak she went on—If there is no question then there is no answer.”

      Liked by 2 people

      • mistermuse 7:47 am on September 15, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        Thanks for that thought-provoking comment, Josie. I’m thinking there is no answer, question or no question. Perhaps that’s why my favorite quote in the post is that of Charles M. Schulz (of PEANUTS fame).

        Liked by 2 people

    • Rivergirl 7:56 am on September 15, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Excellent selection. The down payment Lewis quote is sadly relevant again.

      Liked by 3 people

    • masercot 8:47 am on September 15, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      I see you’ve mastered the new interface…

      Liked by 2 people

    • arekhill1 10:36 am on September 15, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      The answer to Kennedy has been rendered simple by recent history–what you can do for your country is vote Trump and all his enablers out of office.

      Liked by 3 people

      • mistermuse 3:15 pm on September 15, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        If there’s any justice left in this world, nothing less than “out of office” and into prison will suffice (but I’ll settle for just “out of office”).

        Liked by 2 people

    • magickmermaid 10:55 am on September 15, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Love the video! And the quotes!

      Liked by 2 people

      • mistermuse 3:23 pm on September 15, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        Thanks, mm. I wasn’t looking for that video — I stumbled across it while looking for something else, so it was a ‘happy accident.’

        Liked by 2 people

    • Don Ostertag 1:39 pm on September 15, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Great quotes Another answer to Charlie Brown: Because there’s just something about you that pisses me off.

      Liked by 2 people

    • Rosaliene Bacchus 2:33 pm on September 15, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Enjoyed your post 🙂

      Liked by 3 people

    • mistermuse 9:12 am on September 16, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Thank you, my friend. 😉

      Like

    • Elizabeth 7:05 pm on September 16, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      “Ask not what you can do for your country, ask what your country can do for you,” attributed to Jared Kushner(probably apocryphal)

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 10:57 pm on September 16, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        I don’t know if Jared Kushner was quoted correctly, but we know that JFK was:

        Liked by 1 person

        • Elizabeth 12:09 pm on September 18, 2020 Permalink

          Yup. I remember that speech. I am that old.

          Liked by 1 person

        • mistermuse 3:48 pm on September 18, 2020 Permalink

          Likewise, Elizabeth. At our age, it’s like humorist Fred Allen (remember him?) once said: “I always have trouble remembering three things: faces, names, and — I can’t remember what the third thing is.”

          Like

    • annieasksyou 5:00 pm on September 18, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      I think the Jared Kushner quote was “Ask not what your country can do for you because it’s not your country; it belongs to us.”

      I found the video chilling but enjoyable.

      The John Lewis quote made me teary.

      A very thought-provoking post, mistermuse! And a VERY belated happy birthday to your friend Francois (I’m too lazy to type his full name, but I’m pondering his thought).

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 7:21 pm on September 18, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        I think the John Lewis quote is even more chilling (than the video) in the context of the Trump presidency, because Trump is doing his best to take back the “down payment.”

        Like

  • mistermuse 12:00 am on June 25, 2016 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , , , , , , John Adams, John F. Kennedy, , , , , ,   

    WIT HUNT 

    Eight years ago, I said it was time to change the tone of politics; in hindsight, I should have been more specific. — Barack Obama (2016 White House Correspondents’ Dinner)

    • * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

    I am going to miss President Obama when he’s ‘gone’….if for no other virtue than his laid-back wit — a quality sadly lacking in the two major candidates to succeed him, Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump  (not to mention his wit-less former GOP rivals):

    One View: 2016 candidates lack wit of predecessors

    At least Hillary managed a treasonable (to Trump apologists) facsimile of wit in a June 21 speech: “Trump has written a lot of books about business – they all seem to end at chapter 11” (a reference to his four corporate bankruptcies). Granted, that line was probably conceived by a speech writer, but she delivered it as if it were her baby, and to hold it against her is extraneous to witticisms delivered by past actual or would-be Presidents. Wit the help of assiduous research, here are a dozen of yore favorites (and I quote):

    I do declare, if this be true, General Pinckney has kept them all for himself and cheated me out of my two. –John Adams (in response to rumors that he had dispatched the General to England to bring back four mistresses: two for Pinckney and two for Adams)

    If I had two faces, would I be wearing this one? –Abraham Lincoln (when accused by Stephen Douglas of being two-faced)

    Accuracy to a newspaper is what virtue is to a lady; but a newspaper can always print a retraction. –Adlai Stevenson

    Politics is supposed to be the second-oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first. –Ronald Reagan

    Being President is like running a cemetery: you’ve got a lot of people under you and nobody’s listening. –Bill Clinton

    If the Republicans will stop telling lies about the Democrats, we will stop telling the truth about them. –Adlai Stevenson

    Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt. –Abraham Lincoln (Are you listening, Donald Trump?)

    I hope you’re all Republicans. —Ronald Reagan (to surgeons upon entering the operating room following 1981 assassination attempt)

    I think this is the most extraordinary collection of talent, of human knowledge, that has ever been gathered together at the White House, with the possible exception of when Thomas Jefferson dined alone. –John F. Kennedy (at a White House dinner honoring Nobel Prize winners)

    I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency — even if I’m in a cabinet meeting. –Ronald Reagan

    A hypocrite is the kind of politician who would cut down a redwood tree, then mount the stump and make a speech for conservation. –Adlai Stevenson

    When they call the role in the Senate, the Senators don’t know whether to answer “present” or “not guilty.” –Teddy Roosevelt

    And with that exhaustive compendium, I’m at wit’s end.

     

     
    • Michele 12:57 am on June 25, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Yes the living here in Florida is easy but also challenging at times. I liked your Wits End poem and enjoyed the commentary from several of our nation’s wittiest politicians. Oh my! I had not realized how life of John Adams’ was so stressful that he chose to have a duel Thank you mistermuse for writing about this topic.

      Liked by 2 people

      • mistermuse 2:18 am on June 25, 2016 Permalink | Reply

        Michele, I’m guessing that you meant “duo” (not “duel”) — although, if the rumors had been true, Adams might have chosen to duel the General for having “kept them all for himself!”

        Like

    • Michele 1:10 am on June 25, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      A funny and entertaining poem and commentary. Your quotes are notable. The elected officials are not always the smartest but they are certainly easy to talk with on more than one question:

      Liked by 1 person

    • charlypriest 6:36 am on June 25, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      I won´t get into politics because we disagree and I will make you such a great argument to vote for Trump and that you would be so dazed that I will have to buy you a weel chair…..so I got the so I got the real solution, I´m going to get into the race so you can vote for me. These are my 3 primary things to change in America
      1- Manddatory to go to MacDonalds once a day
      2- Mandatory to have sex at least 3 times a week( that would bring the calories of the burger down, see? Balance)
      3- Mandatory to party twice a week ( taking off the stress will make you go back to work on Monday with renewed energy therefore the workforce will be more productive)

      My slogan: CHARLY WILL MAKE AMERICA GREATER THAN GREAT

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 7:08 am on June 25, 2016 Permalink | Reply

        I suspect a multi-million dollar donation from MacDonalds to your campaign is in the mail as we speak (as well as similar donations from Wendy’s, Burger King, Arby’s, etc. to your opponents’ campaigns).

        Liked by 2 people

    • linnetmoss 8:07 am on June 25, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Hillary has an unexpected talent for delivering funny lines. If only she would loosen up a little and learn to love a joke 🙂 Lord knows we need something to laugh about these days.

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 10:26 am on June 25, 2016 Permalink | Reply

        I’d like to see Hillary use more lines like the “chapter 11” zinger I cited in my post. As I said, I doubt that she came up with it herself, but her delivery was spot-on, which is a talent in itself. Obama probably doesn’t write most of his funny lines, though I believe he is more than capable of doing so (Hillary, not so much).
        Looking over the list of 12 quotes, it would be interesting to know which ones were original to those who spoke them. My money would be on Lincoln, Adams and Stevenson for sure, and Reagan for at least the “I hope you’re all Republicans” quip.

        Liked by 2 people

        • linnetmoss 12:47 pm on June 25, 2016 Permalink

          Hillary might be funny in private. That’s what her aides say, any way. It’s riskier for women to use humor in public. But I agree that she should develop that talent for delivery. And get some good writers. Humor can be a powerful weapon in the coming election!

          Liked by 3 people

        • mistermuse 4:23 pm on June 25, 2016 Permalink

          I agree that “Humor can be a powerful weapon in the coming election” — but with the emphasis on “can be”….as in POWERFUL BUT NOT SUFFICIENT (a variant of ‘necessary but not sufficient’). There has probably never been a wittier Presidential candidate than Adlai Stevenson, but the relatively humorless Dwight Eisenhower beat him in a landslide in the 1952 election. Fortunately for Hillary, The Donald is no Eisenhower, and I think more wit of the “chapter 11” type would serve her well.

          Like

    • Don Frankel 10:10 am on June 25, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      I like TR’s the best there as it seems the most apropos in New York right now. But what will all this Brexit mean? Tune in Monday and find out. Also an update on Dumbgate.

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 10:36 am on June 25, 2016 Permalink | Reply

        Speaking of TR, what this country needs right now is one more Teddy Roosevelt and one less TRump running for President.

        Like

    • D. Wallace Peach 4:57 pm on June 25, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      These are great. Who knew Reagan was such a wit? Sad that some of the old ones still apply today 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse 6:05 pm on June 25, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Reagan proved that one doesn’t have to be an intellectual to be witty. On the other hand, Adlai Stevenson (who is little remembered today) proved that an intellectual can be extremely witty (but not necessarily a successful Presidential candidate).

      Liked by 1 person

    • Cynthia Jobin 7:16 pm on June 25, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      What is “an intellectual”? Who is “smart?” Shouldn’t the humor of wit appeal in a universal way, to regular human beings in general, and not as an adolescent “in joke” appealing to the cafeteria table where all the popular kids hang out? (for example, “chapter eleven” would be meaningless to a great number of ordinary people, and is it actually true about the number of chapters in the book?) I say this because I find nothing to enjoy or find witty about Barach Obama or Hillary Clinton. I take a risk weighing-in here, since the smoke of lopsided partisan politics is so thick it forms the letters: “MEMBERS ONLY.”

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 9:05 pm on June 25, 2016 Permalink | Reply

        I suppose one could put “an intellectual” in the same class as Potter Stewart’s being unable to define pornography, but knowing it when he sees it. So I don’t find it hard to see Adlai Stevenson as an intellectual and Donald Trump as other-wise, though it goes without saying (?) that not every juxtaposition is so black and white….speaking of which, I half agree with you regarding Barack Obama, and completely agree re Hillary Clinton (as I indicate in my post). I think Obama is pretty darn funny at the annual White House Correspondents’ Dinners (though I’m sure most, if not all, his witty remarks come from his speech writers). Outside of such occasions, he is indeed almost entirely serious….and I probably would be too, in his position.

        BTW, if I may say so, I definitely do not agree that the humor of wit must NECESSARILY appeal only to “regular human beings in general,” although perhaps in an ideal world, it should. Take, for example, the John F. Kennedy quote (or the Hillary quote, for that matter). Should those quotes be disqualified as witty just because “a great number of regular human beings” may not ‘get’ them? That seems to me to make a virtue of insufficient education (which I don’t mean in a way that faults anyone for something that may well not be their fault). I don’t think humor needs to fit in one box. Jokes no doubt should appeal in a universal way; wit: not so much.

        Liked by 1 person

        • Cynthia Jobin 9:45 pm on June 25, 2016 Permalink

          I like what you say here. I still think the chapter eleven joke was a joke and not wit, as you’ve nicely differentiated those things. Now for another expression…which, as a life long teacher, and denizen of schools, I would be interested to explore, if I weren’t too weary at the moment: “insufficient” education…I have known persons with a PhD.. whom I would deem insufficiently educated.

          Liked by 1 person

        • mistermuse 10:35 pm on June 25, 2016 Permalink

          I think we can probably agree that there are a number of things that can’t be completely separated in all instances, and that, though I drew a distinction between jokes and wit, there can be crossover. I will therefore meet you halfway on “chapter eleven” and call it a witty joke. And you will get no argument from me regarding some with a PhD being insufficiently educated!

          Liked by 1 person

    • Richard 1:30 pm on June 27, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Should we lower the level of humor to a universally understandable one for reasons of political correctness. (Still on vacation, and can`t find the rightside up question mark on this Spanish keyboard). Wouldn`t that leave us with nada but knock-knock jokes? (Found it!) But I will also regret the changing of Adminstrations no matter who wins. When will we have a President as chill as Obama again? You and I may well not live long enough to see it, Sr. Muse.

      Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse 2:57 pm on June 27, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      My guess is that the average person (who isn’t well-versed in history and current events) probably finds much of my wordplay over their heads, but if one must lower his/her “level of humor” to a universally understandable one, what’s the point — that anyone who doesn’t ‘dumb down’ their wit is guilty of being an ELITIST (pardon my language) and should be ostracized? In short, I agree with you, Ricardo.

      Like

    • eths 12:22 am on June 28, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Wonderful! I think Hillary has a great sense of humor. Watch: http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/hillary-clinton-bar-talk/2916002

      Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse 9:15 am on June 28, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Thanks for the clip, in which Hillary does very well. I agree that Hillary has a good, & perhaps even great, sense of humor, but there are lots of people who have a good sense of humor who aren’t witty, and I would put Hillary in that category. I don’t mean that in a derogatory sense, because I think wit is in a person’s DNA, and to not have it is not that person’s fault.

      What I really like about that clip is that she’s not afraid to be self-deprecating, and that’s a type of humor that is completely foreign to the likes of Donald Trump, who has probably never said a self-deprecating thing in his life.

      Like

    • Richard Cahill 11:08 am on June 29, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      The dumbing down of humor would be a bad idea indeed, Sr. Muse–all we would have left would be knock-knock jokes.

      Like

    • mistermuse 3:07 pm on June 29, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Knock-knock,
      Who’s there?
      June.
      June who?
      June 29th.
      So what?
      So tune in tomorrow for the follow-up to this post.

      Like

    • barkinginthedark 12:07 am on July 21, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      “If the Republicans will stop telling lies about the Democrats, we will stop telling the truth about them.” –Adlai Stevenson one of the all-time wittiest quotes….just like W. – or Trump eh? continue….

      Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse 8:09 am on July 21, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      If only Adlai were alive today, I would love to see him running for Pres against The Donald (aka the battle of The Wit against The Witless).

      Liked by 1 person

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