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  • mistermuse 12:00 am on March 26, 2020 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: hell, Hindustan, , , ,   


    Yesterday, I commented on Rivergirl’s March 25 post titled “THINGS THAT FALL INTO THE WTH? CATEGORY”, which told of (among other things) a place known as the Door to Hell in Derweze, Turkmenistan. As I mentioned in that comment, I’ve actually gone to Hell (by car, by the way; not in a handbasket) — the town of Hell in Michiganistan, which may not be as hot as Hell in Turkmenistan, but is more convenient. I figure this is more than enough to qualify me as an authority on anystan’s Hell, hence this post.

    When I say “more convenient,” I of course mean convenient to my followers here in the good old United Statesistan. If you live in Asiastan, you will undoubtedly be able to go to Hell more conveniently in Turkmenistan. On the other stan, if you live in Hindustan (aka The Republic of India), you’re stuckistan in Hindustan because India is in total lockdown due to the coronavirus (I would’ve said coronavirustan, but I understan that’s sickistan).

    Anyway, the Hell I’ve been through in Michiganistan has an official website; rather than me give you the scoopistan, here’s the official poopistan straight from the horse’s mouth:


    Now, if that doesn’t make you want to go to Hell, I don’t know what willistan. I happen to know a guy (his name is Stan) whose wife is a real clothes horse and looks hot in green, gray or white; he often takes her through Hell no matter what she’s wearing, even though….

    I close with this thought: Where do people in Hell tell each other to go?


    • blindzanygirl 12:09 am on March 26, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Oh god mistermuse. You had me in stitches there. One very brilliant post. How about stitchistan?

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 12:54 am on March 26, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        Sorry I had you in stitches, Lorraine. I hope they dissolve without having to be removed by handistan. 😉


    • renxkyoko 3:56 am on March 26, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Is there really such a place in Michigan called Hell ? ? ? O-O

      Liked by 3 people

    • obbverse 4:21 am on March 26, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      We do have a Styx near to us- too near perhaps?

      Liked by 3 people

      • mistermuse 10:21 am on March 26, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        The only Styx I know of is the River Styx in Greece. I’m guessing the Styx near you is a creek out in the sticks, so you’re probably safe barring a flood of mythical proportions. 😉

        Liked by 1 person

        • obbverse 5:19 pm on March 26, 2020 Permalink

          Yep, it is a river, not too wide, but the journey over is quite soul destroying.

          Liked by 2 people

    • calmkate 7:51 am on March 26, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      lol hilarious!

      After many years in isolation I was crossing a city by public transport and needed a loo quickly. Couldn’t spot any so asked a couple … the guy said “go to hell”, I said “I just asked for a loo” and he repeated “go to hell” … well I thought that was a bit rude when they both burst into loud belly laughs. Seems a new pizza joint had opened called “Hell’s Kitchen” and they had good clean loos just two doors up from where I asked.

      They patiently waited until I emerged, it was quite dark and a bit spooky, and apologised. Said he’d been waiting for years to say that to someone …

      Liked by 3 people

    • Eliza 8:06 am on March 26, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Love the last thought. Still giggling… maybe they send each other to heaven.

      Love, light, and glitter

      Liked by 3 people

    • Rivergirl 8:30 am on March 26, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Go to Hell. Best tourist ad line ever!!

      Liked by 3 people

      • mistermuse 11:53 am on March 26, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        If they have some rusty old tools in Hell, you’d better not tell hubby, or he’ll probably want to go there ASAP (and maybe take you with him, just for the Hell of it). 😉

        P.S. That’s an “inside” joke — non-followers of Rivergirl’s blog will have to go there (rather than Hell) to get it.

        Liked by 2 people

    • arekhill1 12:15 pm on March 26, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Never been to Hell, Sr. Muse, but my critics assure me I will inevitably end up there. I’ll try and get a postcard out to you.

      Liked by 3 people

      • mistermuse 2:46 pm on March 26, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        You don’t want to go to Hell, Ricardo. Just the thought of spending eternity there with Trump should be more than enough to motivate you to aim higher (even if you have to make a pit-stop in Purgatory on your way up).


    • magickmermaid 1:07 pm on March 26, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      A postistan of immense laughistan! Great tune as well! I’m putting Hell, Michiganistan on my places to visit list. People in Hell probably tell others to go to Trumpistan. 😀

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 3:03 pm on March 26, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        After Trump kicks the bucket, I expect he will try to make Hell great again by merging it with Trumpistan and naming it Hellistan. Thanks to the very prescient title of this post, you heard the name here first, mm.
        P.S. On second thought, Trump loves the sound of his name too much not to call it Trumpistan….but it will definitely become more hellish after he gets there.

        Liked by 2 people

    • annieasksyou 6:07 pm on March 26, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Re: your last comment: trump can’t make hell any more hellish than he’s made things here.

      This post was funistan, mistermuse, though I can’t quite figure out how the temperature in Hell, Michiganistan, could be 53 degrees. Deceptive PR to draw in more unsuspecting travelers on one-way trips?

      Your post reminded me that when our older daughter was a Russian studies major in college, she spent a semester in Leningrad just before the coup. One of her cheery jaunts was to fly in a WWII turboprop plane to a mountain in Tajikistan (I may be misstanning which Stan), where she was the only woman watching a group of men play a traditional “polo” game on camels, armed with swords (the men, not the camels), with a goat as the winner’s prize.
      Fortunately, she told us about this adventure well after returning home because I found it scary as hellistan.

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 7:09 pm on March 26, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        Thanks for that interesting comment, Annie.

        As for the 53 degree temp in Hell, I’d blame it on global warming, but that sounds pretty frigid for Hell. In any case, Hell has frozen over in the past, as you can see among the pix in the link which follows the post’s 3rd paragraph….istan.

        Liked by 1 person

    • Elizabeth 3:59 pm on March 27, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      After you have visited Hell you can come to Satan’s Kingdom in Connecticut. It is located quite near to Devil’s Hopyard!

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 6:21 pm on March 27, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        The name Devil’s Hopyard sounds vaguely familiar — I think I may have been there on one of my vacations trips East decades ago. In any case, we’re going through enough hell since Trump’s election to the Presidency, and with the corona virus right now….so I regret that I can’t accept your invitation, Elizabeth.

        Liked by 1 person

    • eswini 5:50 pm on March 27, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      These days, the two hellish companions would probably just send each other to Coronastan 😦 Bitter laugh.

      Liked by 1 person

    • masercot 10:07 am on March 29, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      People in Hell tell each other to go to Amarillo. Way worse than Hell…

      Liked by 1 person

    • barkinginthedark 3:42 pm on April 1, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Go to D.C.? continue…

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 6:41 pm on April 2, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        Since Trump went to D.C., the whole country has gone to Hellistan. If we can survive 7 more months, we will realize as never before the meaning of Martin Luther King’s FREE AT LAST! FREE AT LAST! THANK GOD ALMIGHTY, WE’RE FREE AT LAST!

        Liked by 1 person

    • JosieHolford 6:02 am on April 6, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      People in hell say: “Go to tRump’s America.”

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 9:23 am on April 6, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        ….and no doubt they’re also praying that tRump goes to heaven when he dies, as hell is unbearable enough without him making it more so.


    • Francisco Bravo Cabrera 11:05 am on April 9, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      To New Jersey! Great sounds, love that New Orleans music…one of my favourite cities in the US…great post!

      Liked by 2 people

      • mistermuse 12:37 pm on April 9, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        Thank you, Francisco. There’s nothing like New Orleans music to lift the spirit in dispirited times! New Orleans is one of my favorite cities as well (and BRAVO for San FRANCISCO too)! 😉

        Liked by 1 person

        • Francisco Bravo Cabrera 12:39 pm on April 9, 2020 Permalink

          Yes, you are absolutely right abut that! Music is a special remedy for the spirit that always works! Love New Orleans and been to San Francisco only once and I loved it, the architecture, the layout of the city and the gorgeous bay! Great city!
          Greetings from my city,
          Valencia, Spain,

          Liked by 2 people

    • mistermuse 12:44 pm on April 9, 2020 Permalink | Reply


    • Silver Screenings 4:59 pm on April 12, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      This song is another fab piece you’ve introduced me to. I listened to it twice in a row. Thanks!

      Liked by 1 person

  • mistermuse 10:37 am on August 27, 2014 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , hell, , ,   


    If you’re going through hell, keep going. –Winston Churchill

    • * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

    After my last post (BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT) generated quite a bit of interest, I could hardly wait to see what I would write about next. Whatever benefit doubt may have, I don’t want to overdo it — yet there is something to be said for doubling down while the iron is hot and the pot is empty, ideas-wise.

    So last night, in the hope that some fresh CO would blow away the fog in my brain, I’m out flying down the highway on my air-conditioned motorcycle, happy as a good old boy on a bad new toy, when I come upon this big-ass truck hoggin’ the road like he owns it. I don’t know exactly how slow he was going, but let’s just say it waren’t fast enough to suit me. So I get stuck behind this yahoo for longer than any reasonable man should suffer, because there’s too much traffic to pass.

    Finally, I decide to Winston with this crap, and I start to roar past him on the right shoulder like a bat out of hell, because you never know how long a shoulder is going to last before you run into something….and wouldn’t you know, there’s a cop just ahead motioning me to pull over — like I’m not already over, trying to get past this big ass truck.

    Anyway, to make a long story, I suddenly realize that I’ve never owned a motorcycle in my life — much less flown one — so I must be dreaming. Well, if you’ve ever awakened in the middle of a dream, you know there’s nothing worse than not knowing how the dream would’ve turned out. So before I wake up, I bring my bad boy two-wheeler to a stop and, when the cop comes up to me, I tell him to go where bats fly out of when their cave’s on fire (like in a volcanic eruption, which sounds far-fetched, but what the hell — it’s a dream, for heaven’s sake).

    I may not have gotten past my doubts about this post, but I never woke up feeling better in my life.

    • arekhill1 3:52 pm on August 27, 2014 Permalink | Reply

      Motorcycles are noisy death machines. Just ride them in your dreams.


    • mistermuse 4:30 pm on August 27, 2014 Permalink | Reply

      Here in Ohio, only novice motorcyclists & those under 18 must wear helmets, so I see more cyclists without helmets than with….which just goes to show that the young aren’t the only airheads who think they’re invincible.


    • Michaeline Montezinos 1:10 pm on August 28, 2014 Permalink | Reply

      I agree that many older cyclists do not wear their helmets in Ohio. My daughter, the RN, used to live around the bend in Colerain Twnshp. Many times riders of all kinds would speed around the 25MPH limit and hit the brick mailbox. You can’t fault the land lord for making it solid since I think many more ordinary mailboxes met their end by getting obliterated. After awhile she got very tired after nursing a 12 hour shift and then having to jump up with her first aid kit to administer what help she could. The last time a guy on a motocycle left his cracked skull at the mailbox, she just let the police and the paramedics handle it. Obviously his brain was the size of a walnut. Didn’t dinosaurs of tremendous length and girth own those tiny brains? I think we sould give some humans the benefit of a doubt when it comes to the size of pink matter between their ears.


    • mistermuse 5:46 pm on August 28, 2014 Permalink | Reply

      I guess you could say those motorcyclists “mailed it in” when it came to paying attention to what they were doing/where they were going.


    • Don Frankel 5:55 am on August 30, 2014 Permalink | Reply

    • mistermuse 6:29 am on August 30, 2014 Permalink | Reply

      A good reminder that it’s not “cool” to wear a helmet, Don (but if it ever becomes cool, almost every cyclist will wear one).


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