Have you heard about The Donald’s $70,000 hair-styling tax write-off, as reported in Trump’s tax return data published by The New York Times on Sept. 27? In case you missed it:

Now, “everyone knows” (as King Donald is fond of saying about things nobody knows) that his Highness is vain, but $70,000 for hair styling? Even my Vanity Fair-reading wife would consider $70,000 a rather extravagant sum to pay for getting her hair ‘done’ (would that women were ever ‘done’ getting their hair done). Just kidding, ladies — I keep forgetting I might do the same in your place if I had hair on my head, but my head is done with hair).

The moral of my story is that a hair in the head is worth two in the brush.

In any case, since all is fair in love and vanity, be warned there is a caterpillar that looks like Donald Trump’s hair — and, just like Donald’s hair, contact should be avoided under pain of….well, see for yourself:

That’s all I have to say off the top of my head. This post was brought to you as a public service announcement by the makers of Baldy’s Hair Tonic.