PHILOSPHER STONED

If there’s one thing I think we can all agree on about Donald Trump, it’s that he isn’t a philosopher. If, however, he can be said to have one guiding precept remotely resembling a philosophy, it has to be IT’S ALL ABOUT ME….or, secondarily, DON’T BLAME ME (which happens to be the title of a song I was going to link here until — faster than you can say Niccollo Machiavelli — Google removed share, embed & copy from their music clips, leaving technologically-challenged mistermuse at a loss as to how to post them).

Be that as it may, I got to thinking that if THE DONALD were a lit-wit (rather than a nitwit) who wished to appear philosophical, there must be any number of wise philosophical quotes he might plagiarize to his greater glory (or, if he were stoned, learn from). Here are some I drug up which could fill the (Duck’s) bill:

There is nothing so absurd that it cannot be believed if repeated often enough. — William James, American philosopher

Philosophy teaches us to bear with equanimity the misfortunes of others. –Oscar Wilde, Irish wit, poet and playwright

Any man can be a philosopher if he only thinks enough about his own foolishness. –Edgar Watson Howe, American novelist and editor

Philosophers have only interpreted the world. The point, however, is to change it. –Karl Marx, German philosopher, political theorist and socialist revolutionary

If I killed everyone who was stupid, I wouldn’t have time to sleep. –Tamora Pierce, American fantasy fiction writer

Wise men speak because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something. –Plato, Greek philosopher

Always recognize that human individuals are ends, and do not use them as means to your end. — Immanuel Kant, German philosopher

Philosophers before Kant had a tremendous advantage over philosophers after Kant, in that they didn’t have to spend years studying Kant.  –Bertrand Russell, British philosopher, writer and social critic

Only one philosopher in history had a perfect alibi for doing nothing, and his name was I. Kant. –Evan Esar, American humorist

GRECIAN EARNS PLATO’S PLAUDITS; ‘REMAINS’ SILENT

“Beauty is truth, truth beauty — that is all
Ye know on earth, and all ye need to know.”
–John Keats, from ODE ON A GRECIAN URN

On this day in February, 399 BC (according to onthisday.com) occurred the fateful trial of the famed Grecian philosopher Socrates, of whom it is said that he didn’t put anything in writing during his lifetime — or even afterward, for that matter. This might lead one to think he was either paranoid or illiterate. By all odes, however, he was neither — otherwise his life/trial/death-by-hemlock would have earned him no esteem….and in theory, the following quotes attributed to Socrates might have been not only recorded by, but credited to, Plato (as well as others Greek to me):

Wisdom begins in wonder.

The unexamined life is not worth living.

To find yourself, think for yourself.

By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.

I am not an Athenian or a Greek, but a citizen of the world.

But why should Plato and a few of his fellow G(r)eeks get all the credit for handing down what Socrates supposedly said? I may not be quite as ancient as they, but I go back far enough to be able to confide with the utmost confidence that Socrates never denied saying the following:

Wisdom begins in wonder….and ends the same way.

There’s no fool like an old fool. (On the other hand, some of us “old fools” prefer to think of ourselves as misanthropically eccentric seniors.)

It is better to light one candle than to curse the darkness. (Or, you could just pay your electric bill on time.)

My wife would talk to a wooden Indian. (That’s why I keep a wooden Indian around the house.)

All’s well that ends well. (Well, I don’t know about that….but I suppose if it was good enough for the doomed Socrates, it’s good enough for the likes of Shakespeare and mistermuse.)

THE END

 

 

PHILOSOPHY A LA CARTE

I think, therefore I am.  –Rene Descartes

Monsieur Descartes, famed French philosopher, was born on March 31 and is considered to be the father of modern philosophy. Coincidentally, mistermuse was not born on this day and is considered to be the fodder of modern poetry. It is only fitting, therefore, to celebrate the day with appropriate Cartesian poems:

DESCARTES EPITAPH (1596-1650)

I thought,
therefore
I was.

PHILOSOPHICAL SKUNK

I stink,
therefore
I am.

PHILOSOPHICAL APE MAN

I Tarzan,
therefore
you Jane.

PHILOSOPHICAL PSYCHIATRIST

I shrink,
therefore
I think.

PHILOSOPHICAL JAZZ MAN

I think,
therefore
I jam.

PHILOSOPHICAL ABSENT-MINDED TRAVELER

I think I am
there — for
what, I know not.

PHILOSOPHICAL SHEEP

I think like ewe,
therefore
I lamb.

PHILOSOPHICAL MUSE

I think,
therefore
Why am I?

 

 

DARKER THAN LIGHT

I HOPE TO GOD THEY’RE RIGHT

“Mostly this we have of God; we have man.”
–Walt Whitman

“Allah akbar!” “God is great!”
And the thrall is….so is fate.

“Bonis Dominus!” “God is good!”
And the thought is….well He should.

“Eikh anu yod’im?” “How do we know?”
And the thing is….men say so.

JUST THINK

Truth is not tamed;
Loose ends abound.
The more it’s claimed,
The less it’s found.

One life to learn
What life’s about,
And yet we burn
Our one-and-out.

You’re bound to grow
Before the end?
Time races so.
Good luck, my friend.

COME TO THINK OF IT

Old age is a sad estate;
With it comes wisdom,
But it comes so late.

Now recall artless youth:
Ignorance was bliss,
But less than truth.

Why can’t life be in reverse:
Born knowing the score,
Blameless in the hearse?

IT’S ME AGAIN

O, to be a celebrity,
With naught to do but celebrate me.
There’d be no more writing poetry
For free for but the few to see.
An idol to the inane I’d be –
A lion of media-ocrity.
Unfortunately, or fortunately,
The masses want asses bigger than me.

THINK POETRY IN DEPTH

This introduction was going to be about writing introductions to introduce my poetry. What may seem rather dashed-off on the surface is actually a pain in the brainpower. In other words, ‘twould be time better spent on the poems themselves, so….

DEEP THINKERS

“Most educators would continue to lecture
on navigation while the ship is going down.”
–James H. Boren

Sea you later,
Educator.

I THINK

therefore
why am I?

GOD ONLY KNOWS

so I
suppose.

GIVE ME THAT OLD TIME RELIGION

Of course God knows everything –
He’s been around forever.