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  • mistermuse 12:00 am on August 25, 2016 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: garbage, gays, , outhouse, , rubbish, , trash, trash talk, waste, waste not want not   


    I consider myself reasonably wise in the ways of the world, but the more I think about it, the more I realize there’s been a lot of stuff going on that I’m not aware of. For example, every man-of-the-house knows that he’s the one who takes out the garbage (as my wife is sure to remind me if I forget) — but how does that work when two gays live together?

                                                         Garbage out

    Then there’s the question of taking out the garbage in a high rise apartment building. I’ve never lived in one, so it never occurred to me to wonder how that works. Let’s say I rent a 30th floor apartment and, by the by, my cache of trash reaches a truly disgusting level of odoriferousness — do I open a window, look down to make sure ground zero is relatively clear, and submit to the gravity of the situation? What if the windows don’t open — do I look for a laundry chute? Do buildings even have laundry chutes anymore? Oh, for the good old days when you fed garbage to the hogs and buried what they did not eat behind the outhouse. (Don’t ask why they did not eat behind the outhouse — you’d think if they’d already made pigs of themselves, what goes in must come out, and what better place to be near than an outhouse? It just reeks of convenience!)

    Anyway, the nice thing about writing a post on this subject is that it may be a bunch of garbage, but it’s not like it stinks….and even if it does, what did you expect? It’s not every day that I get to talk trash with imp.u.nity. And who knows what I could win if the awarders of the P.U.litzer Prize get wind of it? It’s clearly a wind-win situation.

    So much for my take on trash. Now let’s see what rubbish others have put out there:

    If you ever wonder whether or not someone is too good for you, I’d advise going through their trash. Really. No one looks superior after that. –Ally Carter

    A simple pecking order has always characterized mankind’s relationship to waste: The wealthy throw out what they do not want, the poor scavenge what they can, and whatever remains is left to rot. –Dan Fagin

    Waste not, want not. –John Wesley

    Here’s a no-brainer that religious extremists/certain politicians can’t seem to wrap their heads around:
    A mind is a terrible thing to waste. –Arthur Fletcher (Ya think?)

    I’m surprised when I walk right into yet another abandoned hunters’ camp. Tattered plastic sheeting still hangs askew here and there. Blackened aerosol cans of Cheez Whiz sit in the fire pit, which sits in the middle of the trail. Assorted Styro-ware…. Where are these people? –Rick Bass

    And with that, my gun — I mean, gum — is losing its flavor, so it’s time to stick it under my chair and call it a day. Lady-of-the-house, where are my nightcap and trail mix?


    • Cynthia Jobin 12:25 am on August 25, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Garbage in high rise apartment buildings is either sent down a chute—on each floor– to a compactor or incinerator in the basement, or there’s a room with garbage cans on each floor and a maintenance person lugs it to the elevator and to the basement. Then it is put out on trash collection day.

      Your chewing gum reminds me of an old camp song: ” Does the chewing gum lose its flavor on the bedpost overnight?” Apparently the song actually goes back to 1924, when instead of “chewing gum” the song specified “spearmint.”

      Liked by 1 person

      • Michaeline Montezinos 1:15 am on August 25, 2016 Permalink | Reply

        mister muse this is a very funny post! I needed some humor in my life and I thank you. And I used to roll out the trash when my husband worked full time. Now my husband walks to the trash compacter. It is usually overflowing. Glad I retired from that chore.

        Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 7:38 am on August 25, 2016 Permalink | Reply

        Well, Cynthia, like they say, you learn something new every day — who knew you could “chute” garbage to get rid of it? But then, people do the same to other people every day, so what’s the big deal.

        Love the song. It reminds me of another oldie that I remember from my boyhood:

        Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse 7:54 am on August 25, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Thanks, Michaeline. I’d rather humor you more than humor the gloom or, at least, that’s the rumor.


    • Midwestern Plant Girl 10:46 am on August 25, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      I remember Sonny & Cher singing that song on their skit show! These quotes were hilarious!

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 11:55 am on August 25, 2016 Permalink | Reply

        Sonny & Cher — ah, those were the days, my friend. Nowadays most of the music stinks, if you ask me (not that anyone would). 🙂

        Liked by 2 people

    • arekhill1 10:57 am on August 25, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      As a former high-rise dweller, I can attest to the existence of trash chutes as well. Laundry chutes, however, are exceedingly rare. Coincidentally, it is trash day here and it will be my duty to trundle the bins to the curb, as you have noted, Sr. Muse. That the male of the pair is the trash handler among our species is as inexorable a law of nature as the rule that the male seahorse is tasked with child-rearing. We have it good compared to them.


      • mistermuse 1:19 pm on August 25, 2016 Permalink | Reply

        As I recall, a laundry chute played a significant role in the trial outcome in the 1959 Jimmy Stewart film ANATOMY OF A MURDER, as well as in a few even older films. As for the male seahorse doing the child-rearing, it seems only fair that Mrs. Seahorse should be tasked with taking out the garbage, but he probably gets saddled with that as well, while she gets to unwind drinking beer, smoking soggy cigars, and watching football games and seahorse races. We men do indeed have it good compared to our seahorse counterparts.


    • D. Wallace Peach 9:20 am on August 26, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      You know. I never once wondered how trash is handled in highrise apartment buildings. I looked it up (I had to). “High-rise buildings typically have built-in vertical trash chutes. Residents dump their waste into a chute on their floor, where it falls into a container at the bottom The chute containers are then periodically taken to the load-out dock where they are emptied into the building’s trash compactor.” There you go. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 10:54 am on August 26, 2016 Permalink | Reply

        Thank you for going to that trouble, Diana. I would’ve done so when I got the idea for this post, but I thought if I remained ignorant on the subject, I could better get my points across (after all, that kind of reasoning worked for The Donald to get the GOP nomination for Pres….although such logic seems to going down the tubes — make that the chute — lately). 🙂

        Liked by 2 people

    • Don Frankel 10:56 am on August 26, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      I can attest to the trash chute in a high rise since I live in one. Unfortunately someone will drop an empty Pizza box down the chute and it will get caught sideways and block anything else coming down. At that point we could use some hogs.

      Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse 11:06 am on August 26, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Don, if there are no hogs handy, you could try dropping a bowling ball down to dislodge the box (hopefully, no one in the apartment below you will be sticking his/her head in the chute to see what the problem is).


    • BroadBlogs 12:31 am on August 27, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      No wonder some folks think gay marriage can’t work — who could figure out how to take out the trash?

      Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse 8:51 am on August 27, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      I’m no expert on gay relationships, but perhaps taking turns would do the trick.


    • Don Frankel 8:29 am on August 29, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Muse, excellent idea. Next time Maintenance complains about it I’ll suggest the bowling ball. It might wreck the compactor that the garbage goes into but well if you want to make an omelette you have to break a few eggs.

      Liked by 1 person

    • literaryeyes 5:33 pm on September 21, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      I see people have beat me to it, but I lived in a Manhattan high rise and getting ride of garbage was easy as pie. There were always those, though, who couldn’t seem to manage getting their bags in all the way, or thought it was enough to take it to the room – as if some elf would open the chute and drop it down. Garbage day in Manhattan can be a scene, especially in the evening on a street with restaurants – and rabbit-size rats.


  • mistermuse 12:01 am on December 20, 2015 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: chance, , , , , , social issues, waste,   


    Suppose a homeless man found
    what survived of a tattered old jacket,
    abandoned, like himself, to the elements
    ….and, in that tattered garment,
    crumpled inside a pocket, a winning
    lottery ticket could transform his life.

    But, first he must find it, and then,
    having found it, not toss it aside to be
    blown wherever discarded debris blows.
    Let us further suppose
    the deadline to claim its prize
    came at midnight of that very day.

    Late that night, in winter’s turn,
    he dreamed a new-day dream
    that he could live his life over again,
    knowing as much in his youth as
    he knew now, so that all the choices
    and hidden chances of wasted
    turning points lay exhumed ahead.

    But the thought made him cringe; regret
    was a fire that gave pain without heat.
    He awoke in cold sweat to the taste
    of snow on the cracks of his lips
    and pulled tight around his neck
    the collar of yesterday’s fortune.
    What luck to have found
    a buffer against fate.




    • mistermuse 12:04 am on December 20, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      In the spirit of the not-merry-for-everyone season, I have given this previously published poem a new life here, almost 25 years after I first wrote it.

      Liked by 1 person

    • RMW 12:20 pm on December 20, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      This started me thinking, would I rather find that lottery ticket (I do buy them from time to time) or be able to start over again with today’s knowledge (something I have to admit appeals to me). But in the end, rather than sitting around wondering about either, I am grateful to be where I am with what I have compared to so many other people. Thank you for sharing this lovely poem.

      Liked by 2 people

    • mistermuse 2:54 pm on December 20, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      I can’t think of a better attitude to have, RMW. What’s done is done – still, I can’t help but question the depth of people of middle age & older who say they have no regrets in life. I find it hard to believe that anyone goes through life without having hurt someone, either by words or deed. This tells me that the “no regret-er” is either a surface person or an “it’s all about me” person to whom others are mere bit players in the movie of his/her life. Lacking such regret, it seems to me, the “no-regret-er” hasn’t earned the right to say “What’s done is done.”

      Liked by 1 person

    • Don Frankel 6:21 pm on December 20, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Ah Muse a lot of money only gets me in trouble. And, regrets… “I’ve had a few but then again too few to mention.” Do it all over again? Wouldn’t that be Deja Vu all over again?

      “regret was a fire that gave pain without heat” Great line.


    • mistermuse 9:03 pm on December 20, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Don, there IS one thing (love) about which one need have no regrets:

      Liked by 2 people

    • Resa 4:52 pm on December 21, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Pretty great!

      Liked by 1 person

    • arekhill1 3:17 pm on December 23, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Having regrets does come with the territory. Not dwelling on them has to as well.

      Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse 9:31 pm on December 23, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Robert Frost pretty much said as much: “In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.”


  • mistermuse 5:39 am on May 27, 2014 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: a mind is a terrible thing to waste, , , , , waste,   


    People waste many things — time, money, talent, food (one way or another) — but I think the saddest waste of all is the mind. You probably do too — especially when you stop to think how mindless all those fools are who disagree with what you think. I believe it was Ivan Vasilyevich who first said A mind is a terrible thing to waste, the wisdom of which so impressed his comrads that he became forever famous as Ivan the Terrible (apparently he did not suffer fools gladly).

    So, it should be clear from the above that almost all waste can be controlled if we but set our minds to it. If you’re sitting around on your ass just wasting away, there is simply no excuse for it. Remember, mind over matter –it’s the only way to go if you want to get ahead, if you will. If you won’t, you have no one to blame but yourself.

    I hope I have inspired you to get a grip and stop squandering away your life, of which you have but one to live, unless you have faith in reincarnation. Even so, there’s no telling what you might come back as — a curably dying Christian Scientist, for example – so why take a chance? If you don’t believe me, perhaps you’ll listen to the testimony of these waste not, want not-ers:

    I spent 90% of my money on wine, women and song and just wasted the other 10%. –Ronnie Hawkins

    A day without laughter is a day wasted. –Charlie Chaplin

    The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time. –Bertrand Russell

    The man who views the world at 50 the same as he did at 20 has wasted 30 years of his life. –Muhammed Ali

    If I don’t learn something every single day, it’s a wasted day. –Leonard Lauder

    A Congressman’s idea of government waste is the money spent in another Congressman’s district. -Evan Esar

     I wasted time, and now doth time waste me. –William Shakespeare

    I wish I could stand on a busy street corner, hat in hand, and beg people to throw me all their wasted hours. –Bernard Berenson


    • arekhill1 9:00 am on May 27, 2014 Permalink | Reply

      Or my personal observation on time wasted, “If life is so short, why do we spend it doing the same things over and over?”


    • mistermuse 11:55 am on May 27, 2014 Permalink | Reply

      Good question. I’ve watched “Groundhog Day” over and over and still keep coming back for more.


    • paulwhitberg 12:15 pm on May 27, 2014 Permalink | Reply

      I’ve always loved the quote from Shakespeare, but the wonderful one from Ali is new to me.Thanks for sharing!


    • mistermuse 1:59 pm on May 27, 2014 Permalink | Reply

      If I had seen that quote unattributed, I wouldn’t have guessed it came from Ali. It’s good to see that he grew into that wisdom as he’s aged.


    • Thom Hickey 2:10 am on May 28, 2014 Permalink | Reply

      Thanks enjoyed the telling quotes. Will investigate archives. Regards Thom at the immortal jukebox.


    • mistermuse 7:07 am on May 28, 2014 Permalink | Reply

      Thom, If you’re looking for a theme song for your blog, give a listen:



    • Don Frankel 6:27 pm on May 29, 2014 Permalink | Reply

      Muse if I didn’t waste my time what would I do with it?


    • mistermuse 7:55 pm on May 29, 2014 Permalink | Reply

      I don’t have an answer for that, Don — maybe Dr. Don could tell you.


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