I consider myself reasonably wise in the ways of the world, but the more I think about it, the more I realize there’s been a lot of stuff going on that I’m not aware of. For example, every man-of-the-house knows that he’s the one who takes out the garbage (as my wife is sure to remind me if I forget) — but how does that work when two gays live together?

                                                     Garbage out

Then there’s the question of taking out the garbage in a high rise apartment building. I’ve never lived in one, so it never occurred to me to wonder how that works. Let’s say I rent a 30th floor apartment and, by the by, my cache of trash reaches a truly disgusting level of odoriferousness — do I open a window, look down to make sure ground zero is relatively clear, and submit to the gravity of the situation? What if the windows don’t open — do I look for a laundry chute? Do buildings even have laundry chutes anymore? Oh, for the good old days when you fed garbage to the hogs and buried what they did not eat behind the outhouse. (Don’t ask why they did not eat behind the outhouse — you’d think if they’d already made pigs of themselves, what goes in must come out, and what better place to be near than an outhouse? It just reeks of convenience!)

Anyway, the nice thing about writing a post on this subject is that it may be a bunch of garbage, but it’s not like it stinks….and even if it does, what did you expect? It’s not every day that I get to talk trash with imp.u.nity. And who knows what I could win if the awarders of the P.U.litzer Prize get wind of it? It’s clearly a wind-win situation.

So much for my take on trash. Now let’s see what rubbish others have put out there:

If you ever wonder whether or not someone is too good for you, I’d advise going through their trash. Really. No one looks superior after that. –Ally Carter

A simple pecking order has always characterized mankind’s relationship to waste: The wealthy throw out what they do not want, the poor scavenge what they can, and whatever remains is left to rot. –Dan Fagin

Waste not, want not. –John Wesley

Here’s a no-brainer that religious extremists/certain politicians can’t seem to wrap their heads around:
A mind is a terrible thing to waste. –Arthur Fletcher (Ya think?)

I’m surprised when I walk right into yet another abandoned hunters’ camp. Tattered plastic sheeting still hangs askew here and there. Blackened aerosol cans of Cheez Whiz sit in the fire pit, which sits in the middle of the trail. Assorted Styro-ware…. Where are these people? –Rick Bass

And with that, my gun — I mean, gum — is losing its flavor, so it’s time to stick it under my chair and call it a day. Lady-of-the-house, where are my nightcap and trail mix?



19 comments on “GARBAGE IN — GARBAGE OUT?

  1. Garbage in high rise apartment buildings is either sent down a chute—on each floor– to a compactor or incinerator in the basement, or there’s a room with garbage cans on each floor and a maintenance person lugs it to the elevator and to the basement. Then it is put out on trash collection day.

    Your chewing gum reminds me of an old camp song: ” Does the chewing gum lose its flavor on the bedpost overnight?” Apparently the song actually goes back to 1924, when instead of “chewing gum” the song specified “spearmint.”

    Liked by 1 person

  2. mistermuse says:

    Thanks, Michaeline. I’d rather humor you more than humor the gloom or, at least, that’s the rumor.


  3. I remember Sonny & Cher singing that song on their skit show! These quotes were hilarious!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. arekhill1 says:

    As a former high-rise dweller, I can attest to the existence of trash chutes as well. Laundry chutes, however, are exceedingly rare. Coincidentally, it is trash day here and it will be my duty to trundle the bins to the curb, as you have noted, Sr. Muse. That the male of the pair is the trash handler among our species is as inexorable a law of nature as the rule that the male seahorse is tasked with child-rearing. We have it good compared to them.


    • mistermuse says:

      As I recall, a laundry chute played a significant role in the trial outcome in the 1959 Jimmy Stewart film ANATOMY OF A MURDER, as well as in a few even older films. As for the male seahorse doing the child-rearing, it seems only fair that Mrs. Seahorse should be tasked with taking out the garbage, but he probably gets saddled with that as well, while she gets to unwind drinking beer, smoking soggy cigars, and watching football games and seahorse races. We men do indeed have it good compared to our seahorse counterparts.


  5. You know. I never once wondered how trash is handled in highrise apartment buildings. I looked it up (I had to). “High-rise buildings typically have built-in vertical trash chutes. Residents dump their waste into a chute on their floor, where it falls into a container at the bottom The chute containers are then periodically taken to the load-out dock where they are emptied into the building’s trash compactor.” There you go. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Don Frankel says:

    I can attest to the trash chute in a high rise since I live in one. Unfortunately someone will drop an empty Pizza box down the chute and it will get caught sideways and block anything else coming down. At that point we could use some hogs.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. mistermuse says:

    Don, if there are no hogs handy, you could try dropping a bowling ball down to dislodge the box (hopefully, no one in the apartment below you will be sticking his/her head in the chute to see what the problem is).


  8. BroadBlogs says:

    No wonder some folks think gay marriage can’t work — who could figure out how to take out the trash?

    Liked by 1 person

  9. mistermuse says:

    I’m no expert on gay relationships, but perhaps taking turns would do the trick.


  10. Don Frankel says:

    Muse, excellent idea. Next time Maintenance complains about it I’ll suggest the bowling ball. It might wreck the compactor that the garbage goes into but well if you want to make an omelette you have to break a few eggs.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. literaryeyes says:

    I see people have beat me to it, but I lived in a Manhattan high rise and getting ride of garbage was easy as pie. There were always those, though, who couldn’t seem to manage getting their bags in all the way, or thought it was enough to take it to the room – as if some elf would open the chute and drop it down. Garbage day in Manhattan can be a scene, especially in the evening on a street with restaurants – and rabbit-size rats.


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