HELL ON WHEELS

If you’re going through hell, keep going. –Winston Churchill

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After my last post (BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT) generated quite a bit of interest, I could hardly wait to see what I would write about next. Whatever benefit doubt may have, I don’t want to overdo it — yet there is something to be said for doubling down while the iron is hot and the pot is empty, ideas-wise.

So last night, in the hope that some fresh CO would blow away the fog in my brain, I’m out flying down the highway on my air-conditioned motorcycle, happy as a good old boy on a bad new toy, when I come upon this big-ass truck hoggin’ the road like he owns it. I don’t know exactly how slow he was going, but let’s just say it waren’t fast enough to suit me. So I get stuck behind this yahoo for longer than any reasonable man should suffer, because there’s too much traffic to pass.

Finally, I decide to Winston with this crap, and I start to roar past him on the right shoulder like a bat out of hell, because you never know how long a shoulder is going to last before you run into something….and wouldn’t you know, there’s a cop just ahead motioning me to pull over — like I’m not already over, trying to get past this big ass truck.

Anyway, to make a long story, I suddenly realize that I’ve never owned a motorcycle in my life — much less flown one — so I must be dreaming. Well, if you’ve ever awakened in the middle of a dream, you know there’s nothing worse than not knowing how the dream would’ve turned out. So before I wake up, I bring my bad boy two-wheeler to a stop and, when the cop comes up to me, I tell him to go where bats fly out of when their cave’s on fire (like in a volcanic eruption, which sounds far-fetched, but what the hell — it’s a dream, for heaven’s sake).

I may not have gotten past my doubts about this post, but I never woke up feeling better in my life.

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6 comments on “HELL ON WHEELS

  1. arekhill1 says:

    Motorcycles are noisy death machines. Just ride them in your dreams.

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  2. mistermuse says:

    Here in Ohio, only novice motorcyclists & those under 18 must wear helmets, so I see more cyclists without helmets than with….which just goes to show that the young aren’t the only airheads who think they’re invincible.

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  3. I agree that many older cyclists do not wear their helmets in Ohio. My daughter, the RN, used to live around the bend in Colerain Twnshp. Many times riders of all kinds would speed around the 25MPH limit and hit the brick mailbox. You can’t fault the land lord for making it solid since I think many more ordinary mailboxes met their end by getting obliterated. After awhile she got very tired after nursing a 12 hour shift and then having to jump up with her first aid kit to administer what help she could. The last time a guy on a motocycle left his cracked skull at the mailbox, she just let the police and the paramedics handle it. Obviously his brain was the size of a walnut. Didn’t dinosaurs of tremendous length and girth own those tiny brains? I think we sould give some humans the benefit of a doubt when it comes to the size of pink matter between their ears.

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  4. mistermuse says:

    I guess you could say those motorcyclists “mailed it in” when it came to paying attention to what they were doing/where they were going.

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  5. mistermuse says:

    A good reminder that it’s not “cool” to wear a helmet, Don (but if it ever becomes cool, almost every cyclist will wear one).

    Like

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