HELL ON WHEELS

If you’re going through hell, keep going. –Winston Churchill

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After my last post (BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT) generated quite a bit of interest, I could hardly wait to see what I would write about next. Whatever benefit doubt may have, I don’t want to overdo it — yet there is something to be said for doubling down while the iron is hot and the pot is empty, ideas-wise.

So last night, in the hope that some fresh CO would blow away the fog in my brain, I’m out flying down the highway on my air-conditioned motorcycle, happy as a good old boy on a bad new toy, when I come upon this big-ass truck hoggin’ the road like he owns it. I don’t know exactly how slow he was going, but let’s just say it waren’t fast enough to suit me. So I get stuck behind this yahoo for longer than any reasonable man should suffer, because there’s too much traffic to pass.

Finally, I decide to Winston with this crap, and I start to roar past him on the right shoulder like a bat out of hell, because you never know how long a shoulder is going to last before you run into something….and wouldn’t you know, there’s a cop just ahead motioning me to pull over — like I’m not already over, trying to get past this big ass truck.

Anyway, to make a long story, I suddenly realize that I’ve never owned a motorcycle in my life — much less flown one — so I must be dreaming. Well, if you’ve ever awakened in the middle of a dream, you know there’s nothing worse than not knowing how the dream would’ve turned out. So before I wake up, I bring my bad boy two-wheeler to a stop and, when the cop comes up to me, I tell him to go where bats fly out of when their cave’s on fire (like in a volcanic eruption, which sounds far-fetched, but what the hell — it’s a dream, for heaven’s sake).

I may not have gotten past my doubts about this post, but I never woke up feeling better in my life.