THE ART OF BAD POETRY
Oscar Wilde quote: “All bad poetry springs from genuine feeling.” Maybe so, but you can’t blame a guy for trying.
A few days ago, in pondering the possibility of posting a post of putrid poetry for BAD POETRY DAY (August 18th), I took the precaution of reviewing a decade (my blog began in 2009) of August posts to make sure I hadn’t previously perpetrated poetic perfidy on unsuspecting readers on this day. Unluckily for you , I found that I’ve never posted a post on Aug. 18, so we’re good to go….make that, I’mย good to go.ย Or bad to go.ย You have to stay, because if you don’t, you’ll break my poor art — and that wouldn’t be polite.
Perhaps you think that my calling bad poetry an art
doesn’t pass the smell test, like calling passing gas a fart.
Not to put you on the spot, but was that a bad-ass poem, or what?
Granted, it has a perfect rhyme, but is that such a crime?
As bad poetry, I still say it’s sublime….speaking of which, I’ll have you know there are actually high-class contests to determine how low a bad poem can get, such as:
With that behind us, it’s time we get back to sum-more of my cool august poetry:
CLOCKING OUT
Hickory, dickory, dock,
The doc ran up the rock.
The rock was more slippery
Than doc’s hickory dickory,
So down he fell, which cleaned his clock.
HAIR APPARENT
A Whig party wig
Is my saving grace —
It diverts your gaze
Away from my face.
I WILL ONLY STOOP SO LOW
I don’t do windows,
I don’t do lawns —
But when I doo-doo,
I do do johns.
And with that, I bid you a fond adieu-doo.
Carmen 10:20 am on August 18, 2019 Permalink |
Of course you know I’ll have to offer my favourite poem (by Sheree Fitch, of Nova Scotia)
TOES IN MY NOSE
I stuck my toes in my nose and couldn’t get them out
It looked a little strange and people began to shout
“Why would you ever?”
“My goodness I never!”
They got in a terrible snit.
“It’s simple” I said, as they put me to bed –
“I just wanted to see if they FIT!”
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mistermuse 10:45 am on August 18, 2019 Permalink |
Thank you for that beautiful bad poem, Carmen. It calls to mind this golden oldie:
You’re a poet
though you don’t know it
but your feet show it —
they’re Longfellows.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
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Carmen 11:58 am on August 18, 2019 Permalink
๐
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equipsblog 11:29 am on August 18, 2019 Permalink |
Your last poem is so bad it’s actually good.
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Today is Bad Poetry Day – e-Quips 11:37 am on August 18, 2019 Permalink |
[…] I never knew this until day when I saw it on a blog. […]
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mistermuse 11:46 am on August 18, 2019 Permalink |
To quote the late author and critic D.B. Wyndham Lewis, “There is bad Bad Verse and good Bad Verse.” Hopefully he would have agreed with you that my last poem fits the latter category.
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equipsblog 12:01 pm on August 18, 2019 Permalink |
I like it for better or verse. snicker
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Rivergirl 1:22 pm on August 18, 2019 Permalink |
When it comes to bad… youโre very good.
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mistermuse 2:44 pm on August 18, 2019 Permalink |
Thanks, but unfortunately, here’s someone who thinks….
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equipsblog 4:44 pm on August 19, 2019 Permalink |
Thanks..
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D. Wallace Peach 1:48 pm on August 18, 2019 Permalink |
Chelsea Owens here on WP runs a weekly terrible poetry contest that is a total hoot. Much in line with the rhymes you posted. Lol. If you ever need a laugh in these dark days of Trump, there are plenty of bad poets willing to share their terribleness. ๐ Thanks for the clip about intolerable moo too.
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mistermuse 3:03 pm on August 18, 2019 Permalink |
Thank you, Diana. Re Chelsea Owens weekly terrible poetry contest, here’s the link for those interested:
https://chelseaannowens.com/2019/08/17/the-weekly-terrible-poetry-contest-34/
Due to time constraints, I probably won’t become a participant, but I may do an occasional bad poetry post on my blog in the future (unless I lose too many followers as a result).
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D. Wallace Peach 3:33 pm on August 18, 2019 Permalink
Thanks for sharing the link!
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calmkate 7:20 pm on August 18, 2019 Permalink |
Only you could pull off bad poetry with such aplomb!
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mistermuse 8:48 pm on August 18, 2019 Permalink |
Thanks, Kate. To tell the truth, I didn’t realize the depth of my poetry until I used a plumb line.
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calmkate 11:40 pm on August 18, 2019 Permalink
lol a gifted wordsmith indeed ๐
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obbverse 7:21 pm on August 18, 2019 Permalink |
Always a pleasure to read bad poetry- or so my proof reader tells me. Seriously, it is a pleasure to read. No doubt you’re aware of William McGonagle, the high/low mark of all bad poets He tried so hard to write well, in his so earnest po-faced way. That makes it all the more hilarious.
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mistermuse 9:12 pm on August 18, 2019 Permalink |
Thanks. McGonagall had this in common with all bad poets: he was clueless that his poetry was bad. Still, I don’t mean that uncharitably — bad poets ‘gotta live too,’ and for all I know, maybe it keeps many of them out of trouble (although we all know a certain very bad tweeter who makes a lot of trouble for others).
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obbverse 9:15 pm on August 18, 2019 Permalink
Bad tweeter, bad lot, sad act that bad boy is.
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America On Coffee 2:36 am on August 22, 2019 Permalink |
I kind of like bad poetry. Composition charisma is what it has. ๐
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magickmermaid 12:04 pm on August 22, 2019 Permalink |
Hooray for bad poetry! Groaning ๐
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barkinginthedark 4:17 am on August 26, 2019 Permalink |
oy!
oh boy!
hoy hoy floy floy
i may just be the hoi polloi
but i really truly did enjoy.
continue…
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mistermuse 8:14 am on August 26, 2019 Permalink |
You “may just be the hoi polloi”
but your comment is truly a joy
and, as for the floy floy:
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barkinginthedark 5:04 pm on August 28, 2019 Permalink
luv it. thanks. continue…
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