Get Ready For HUSBAND APPRECIATION DAY

You may recall that in my last post on April 14th (LET’S CALL IT A DAY), I took exception to the fact that a person of nil repute actually did call it a day (namely, INTERNATIONAL MOMENT OF LAUGHTER DAY ). Today, I humbly take back my ‘exception-taking’ by admitting there is an exception to the reason I took exception to what I took exception to, because the day after tomorrow is the exception of all exceptions: HUSBAND APPRECIATION DAY….a day of such exceptional exceptionalism that it doesn’t matter who proclaimed it. Frankly, I don’t know — or even care — who proclaimed it (though I’m pretty sure it wasn’t my wife).

Yes, brother husbands, there’s a day set aside for us to finally be shown the respect we so richly deserve. For too long, we husbands have been taken for granted, like henpecked clucks, while our wives get all the glory. Don’t get me wrong — I love my wife as much as the next “Yes, dear” guy, but is it asking too much to be appreciated for all we do that’s above our pay grade? For example, the other evening I took out the kitchen trash, even though she could’ve sat on it to squish it down, creating enough space for the half dozen beer bottles I’d be emptying before the night was o’er. I did so even though I had a good notion to suggest that she might as well go on a diet if she’s not going to put her fat butt to the good use I had in mind. If that’s not showing restraint and consideration, I don’t know what is.

My fellow Lords and Masters of our domains: good husbands like me (and, I presume, you) don’t grow on trees. We know that our wives could have done a lot worse than us. Therefore, why shouldn’t we expect them to overlook our few minor foibles and appreciate us for the paragons of postpubescence we are? It’s time they realize how very lucky they are to have found us, because….

P.S. Please put down that frying pan, honey buns — you know I’m just kidding, don’t you?