Tagged: wives Toggle Comment Threads | Keyboard Shortcuts

  • mistermuse 12:00 am on September 16, 2018 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , Hit The Road Jack, , , , , , romantic holidays, , Snooky Ookums, Sweetest Day, , , wives   

    DAYS OF OUR WIVES 

    The third Sunday in September, which by all (ac)counts is today, is WIFE APPRECIATION DAY. First and foremost, it’s a day for all us husbands to give thanks….thanks that we don’t live in olden times of guys like King Solomon, who had hundreds of wives for whose favors he had to pay dearly to prove his appreciation, not only this day, but on wedding anniversaries, birthdays, and romantic holidays like the ancient equivalents of Sweetest Day, Valentine’s Day, and, of course, Groundhog Day. My wallet (which I affectionately call Wally) is having a nervous breakdown just thinking about that empty feeling….and praying he doesn’t wake up tomorrow morning reliving this day.

    Fortunately, we live in more civilized times where monogamy is the rule and just one wife is the ruler. Wally can rest assured that I see all such days as over-commercialized evil plots furthered by vile capitalists interested only in separating Wally and me from our hard-earned jack* (surnamed Washington, Lincoln, Hamilton, Jackson, Grant and Franklin) — and my would-be better half had better see it that way, because I control the Jack in my Wally, and I will not be moved by shape-up-or-ship-out demands….

    *jack, n. Money. Orig. a sporting term, common 1920s. –Dictionary of American Slang

    Whoa! Let us not be too hasty — you know I was only kidding, don’t you, Honey Buns? Lay that pistol down, babe….

    As a matter of fact, Snooky Wooky Ookums, I do have something for you on WIFE APPRECIATION DAY: something to bring back memories of those halcyon days when lovers can’t get enough of each other (as The Donald continues to feel about The Donald):

    • * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

    Sorry, Wally. Sorry, Jack.  When you gotta go, you gotta go.

     

     

     

     
    • leggypeggy 12:06 am on September 16, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      Years ago I read an article that said retailers used to refer to the husband/dad as ‘The Wallet’.

      Liked by 3 people

      • mistermuse 12:20 am on September 16, 2018 Permalink | Reply

        Wally would probably remember that better than I do. I was too busy trying to keep Wally from getting the empty feeling I mentioned in my post. 🙂

        Liked by 2 people

    • K. A. Bryce 12:58 am on September 16, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      I am not in the habit of making negative comments about other people’s posts–there is nothing to be gained by it. I do agree that commercialism has us by the sore spots when it comes to promoting things for profit instead of focusing on what such a day should mean–a courtesy at the very least and an opportunity to say thank you to someone who has shared equally in your lives together as partners, legally or otherwise. Smiles>KB

      Liked by 4 people

      • mistermuse 7:55 am on September 16, 2018 Permalink | Reply

        Of course, this post wasn’t intended to be taken seriously, KB (well, except for the part about The Donald not being able to get enough of The Donald). Smiles right back atcha! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

    • Garfield Hug 2:45 am on September 16, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      Ohh I did not know there is such a day dedicated. Another commercial project of the retailers I guess. Ahh well, if husbands and wives apprecate each other daily, then there is no need for just this one day! Or it is as what my MR EX would say to cop out of getting presents to give out ha ha! Have a fun day Mistermuse!

      Liked by 4 people

    • Lisa R. Palmer 10:06 am on September 16, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      Well done, mistermuse! I believe that with this post, your job is likely done. Jack and Wally should skate through this virtually unscathed…

      (The fact that you knew this day would impress most wives, as it’s tough enough getting husbands to keep track of birthdays and anniversaries!)

      Liked by 4 people

    • Lisa R. Palmer 10:09 am on September 16, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      P.S. did you know it’s also National Guacamole Day? There must be some connection we can make there… lol!

      Liked by 3 people

    • arekhill1 2:16 pm on September 16, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      I am not married Sr. Muse, but I have had the same girl for 8 years now. When is Main Squeeze Appreciation Day? I have an ex-wife, but I have failed to appreciate her for many years now. If there was a Guy Who Married Your Ex-Wife Appreciation Day, I’d have to send out three cards already.

      Liked by 5 people

      • mistermuse 6:36 pm on September 16, 2018 Permalink | Reply

        Your ex must be one popular gal, Ricardo. She apparently goes shopping for husbands the way most women go shopping for bargains….which, come to think of it, maybe they were (present company excepted, of course). 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

    • Rosaliene Bacchus 5:32 pm on September 16, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      Oh, the things the capitalists invent to empty our Wallies 🙂

      Liked by 5 people

    • mistermuse 2:43 pm on September 17, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      You’re right on the money with that comment, Rosaliene. 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

    • literaryeyes 8:12 pm on September 17, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      Ha ha, “just one wife is the ruler.” Um, suggestion, just say I love you. Money is only an object. Diamonds slumber in safety deposit boxes. Plants die. Etc. I know, who asked me? My inner ruler?

      Liked by 4 people

      • mistermuse 11:29 pm on September 17, 2018 Permalink | Reply

        “just say I love you”?

        Just kidding. If love had nothing to do with it, I wouldn’t be married 50 years! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

    • floatinggold 8:42 pm on September 17, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      I had no idea!
      Do you have a contact page?

      Liked by 3 people

      • mistermuse 11:38 pm on September 17, 2018 Permalink | Reply

        Thanks for your comment, but I have no idea what you had no idea about….nor, why you asked what you asked. Contact can be made as you’ve already done: via comment.

        Liked by 1 person

        • floatinggold 9:52 am on September 18, 2018 Permalink

          My apologies for not making myself clear.
          I had no idea regarding the “wives day”, so I found it amusing.
          And I asked about the contact page, because there is something I would like to ask, which is off-topic. Most people don’t like unrelated conversation in the comment section.

          Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 11:26 am on September 18, 2018 Permalink | Reply

        Thanks again — I’m glad you liked the post, and I appreciate the clarification. Regarding contact, WordPress is the only ‘social media’ I do (no Facebook, Twitter, etc.), so feel free to ask your off-topic question here.

        Liked by 1 person

        • floatinggold 12:34 pm on September 18, 2018 Permalink

          I noticed that you have unfollowed me recently. And so I was wondering if it was something I said, or did. I’d appreciate your feedback to learn for the future.
          Thanks.

          Like

      • mistermuse 3:44 pm on September 18, 2018 Permalink | Reply

        I can’t answer your question with certainty, floatinggold, because I’m not sure how it happened. I have come across instances where I discovered that someone I followed for sometime had become unfollowed without my being aware of it. Whether I did it inadvertently or it was one of those mysterious disappearances into cyberspace that occasionally happen on WordPress, I have no way of knowing. Normally I don’t unfollow someone unless that person has shown no interest in my posts for an extended period, or I find that a blog I at first found promising didn’t sustain my interest (just not on the same wavelength — no reflection on the blogger).

        In any case, I’ll put you back on “follow” and we’ll both live happily ever after (or whenever)! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

        • floatinggold 10:04 am on September 19, 2018 Permalink

          Thank you for this explanation. Makes sense to me.
          Cheers to a long and prosperous life!

          Liked by 1 person

    • rivergirl1211 3:09 pm on September 18, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      Why have I never heard of this most wondrous of holidays? Surely Hallmark has a card….
      Excuse me while I go tell my husband that he has many Wife Appreciation Days to make up for…

      Liked by 3 people

      • mistermuse 8:46 am on September 19, 2018 Permalink | Reply

        What I (and probably your husband) would like to know is Why is there no Husband Appreciation Day? 😦 🙂

        Like

        • rivergirl1211 6:21 pm on September 19, 2018 Permalink

          I’d say every day is Husband Appreciation Day….. but you might throw something at me.
          😉

          Liked by 1 person

    • calmkate 5:45 am on September 19, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      lol never heard of it, must be another commercial plot … glad your wife didn’t use her pistol … she must be a super fun gal to be married to such a romantic generous joker 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

      • mistermuse 8:52 am on September 19, 2018 Permalink | Reply

        Kate, as far as I’m concerned, every day should be Wife Appreciation Day (but without expectation of gifts — ha ha). 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  • mistermuse 12:05 am on July 27, 2018 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , , , , , misfortune, , , , , wives   

    WHEEL OF MISFORTUNE 

    When misfortune comes, take it like a man–blame it on your wife. –Evan Esar

    • * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

    Many of us suffer an unanticipated misfortune at some point in our lives. It could be the missed fortune of being left out of the will of a rich cousin you loved like a brother (until the ungrateful s.o.b. left every cent he had to his actual brother)….or it could be distress under duress, like your mistress taking egress, leaving you in a mess, no less, with your wife. Or, if you are a wife, perhaps you got wind of, not only the mistress on the side, but the ‘steady at the ready’ and the ‘wench on the bench’ (otherwise known as having too many loins in the fire). Yes, friends, misfortune is an ill wind which blows no good…

    Now, far be it from mistermuse to blame his misfortunes on his wife. As a matter of tact, if it weren’t for my wife, I don’t know what I would do (or is it, wouldn’t do?). Yes, friends, mistermuse has been a sappily married man for 49 years, 10 months, and 13 days now, and I can honestly say it doesn’t seem like a day over 49 years, 10 months, and 12 days.

    That said, game on. Let’s see what other men have had to say on the subject:

    Wives are people who feel that they don’t dance enough. –Groucho Marx

    How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who treats her as if she were a perfectly natural being? –Oscar Wilde

    If Presidents can’t do it to their wives, they do it to their countries. –Mel Brooks

    No matter how happily married a woman may be, it always pleases her to discover that there is a nice man who wishes she were not. –H. L. Mencken

    My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you’ll be happy; if not, you’ll become a philosopher. –Socrates

    Some wives are like fishermen: they think the best ones got away. –Evan Esar

    I’ve had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn’t. –Patrick Murray

    A man placed an ad in the classifieds: “Wife wanted.” Next day he received over a hundred replies: “You can have mine.” –Anonymous

    NOTE: The last quote is absolutely NOT mine!

     
    • Paul Sunstone 3:16 am on July 27, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      So far a I know there are at least three or four major religions that each claim their own god created the institution of marriage — and everyone of them say they did it to protect the women, which I find hilarious.

      Liked by 3 people

    • calmkate 4:31 am on July 27, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      lol hilarious .. big 50 celebration coming up, well done both of you!

      Liked by 1 person

    • masercot 5:33 am on July 27, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      Women are the major cause of mental illness in men…

      Liked by 1 person

    • Lisa R. Palmer 8:36 am on July 27, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      Congrats on making it work!! That is quite an accomplishment for both of you…

      I laughed at almost all of these, being an ex-wife, except one, which I simply didn’t understand. Goes to show that humor targets certain audiences (probably based on common experiences…?).

      What the heck was Oscar Wilde trying to say here, and where is the “funny”? Lol!

      “How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who treats her as if she were a perfectly natural being?” –Oscar Wilde

      P.S. No need to actually explain; it only makes things worse. If a joke needs lengthy rationale, then it already failed. But since I’m not the intended audience, no harm done. Just thought I’d share my ignorance, as it might make it funnier to others. 😀

      Liked by 2 people

      • mistermuse 9:28 am on July 27, 2018 Permalink | Reply

        No problem, Lisa–I’ve found from long experience that explanations only get me into longer no-win situations. That’s why “Yes, dear” is almost always the better part of valor….and, as you can tell, I’ve become very well trained in almost 50 years. 🙂

        Liked by 2 people

    • Carmen 8:48 am on July 27, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      Here’s the one I like, and which was stuck on our fridge for years –
      “The best thing a father can do for his children is love their mother”.

      Almost 50 years! Wow! We’re 9 years behind you, mister muse, which reminds me of another statement I read when I first got married – and it has stuck in my head because of its truth (well, in our case anyway!) –
      “Marriage is a contest of wills.” 🙂

      Congratulations and in my opinion, you brought the very best trait to the union – a kick-ass sense of humour!

      Liked by 2 people

      • mistermuse 9:32 am on July 27, 2018 Permalink | Reply

        Thank you, Carmen. Unfortunately, the ass I’d most like to kick is out of reach (not my wife–Donald Trump)! 🙂

        P.S. I like your “statements.”

        Liked by 1 person

    • Carmen 10:17 am on July 27, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      A friend of ours once told a young fellow who was getting married that there were only two responses he needed to know – “Yes, dear” and “That outfit looks lovely on you!” 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

    • arekhill1 1:26 pm on July 27, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      Congrats to you and Senora Muse on your upcoming 50th.

      Liked by 1 person

    • inesephoto 1:52 pm on July 28, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      Eternal source of jokes 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    • Don Frankel 2:13 pm on July 29, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      Here’s some advice on the subject that I didn’t take. But I was happy anyway.

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 7:17 pm on July 29, 2018 Permalink | Reply

        Good song, Don. I like toe-tappers which don’t lead to my wife putting her foot down.

        Like

    • floatinggold 10:40 pm on July 30, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      Almost 50 years? That’s impressive. How do people manage to put up with ANYONE for so long?

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 11:50 pm on July 30, 2018 Permalink | Reply

        First, you have to live long enough. Second, so does your wife. Third, it helps to have a sense of humor. Fourth, if your wife has a strong arm throwing pots, pans and dishes, it helps to have good reflexes. Fifth, when all else fails, either pray for a miracle that she’ll see things your way, or say “Yes, dear.” Or both.

        Liked by 1 person

    • MikeTX 10:49 am on August 1, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      Congrats on the half a century of marital bliss Muse.

      I guess you have no wench on the bench; a fact which also keeps a foot from being put down…on your throat. Good luck on your next half-century!

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 8:07 pm on August 7, 2018 Permalink | Reply

        Thanks, Mike. Sorry about the delayed reply — I just noticed that your comment was awaiting approval.

        Like

    • America On Coffee 1:43 pm on August 7, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      Love this!!

      Liked by 1 person

  • mistermuse 12:01 am on April 19, 2018 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: A Good Man is Hard to Find, henpecked, , Husband Appreciation Day, , Lizzie Miles, , , wives   

    Get Ready For HUSBAND APPRECIATION DAY 

    You may recall that in my last post on April 14th (LET’S CALL IT A DAY), I took exception to the fact that a person of nil repute actually did call it a day (namely, INTERNATIONAL MOMENT OF LAUGHTER DAY ). Today, I humbly take back my ‘exception-taking’ by admitting there is an exception to the reason I took exception to what I took exception to, because the day after tomorrow is the exception of all exceptions: HUSBAND APPRECIATION DAY….a day of such exceptional exceptionalism that it doesn’t matter who proclaimed it. Frankly, I don’t know — or even care — who proclaimed it (though I’m pretty sure it wasn’t my wife).

    Yes, brother husbands, there’s a day set aside for us to finally be shown the respect we so richly deserve. For too long, we husbands have been taken for granted, like henpecked clucks, while our wives get all the glory. Don’t get me wrong — I love my wife as much as the next “Yes, dear” guy, but is it asking too much to be appreciated for all we do that’s above our pay grade? For example, the other evening I took out the kitchen trash, even though she could’ve sat on it to squish it down, creating enough space for the half dozen beer bottles I’d be emptying before the night was o’er. I did so even though I had a good notion to suggest that she might as well go on a diet if she’s not going to put her fat butt to the good use I had in mind. If that’s not showing restraint and consideration, I don’t know what is.

    My fellow Lords and Masters of our domains: good husbands like me (and, I presume, you) don’t grow on trees. We know that our wives could have done a lot worse than us. Therefore, why shouldn’t we expect them to overlook our few minor foibles and appreciate us for the paragons of postpubescence we are? It’s time they realize how very lucky they are to have found us, because….

    P.S. Please put down that frying pan, honey buns — you know I’m just kidding, don’t you?

     
    • Don Frankel 3:42 pm on April 19, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      You need to play the B side of this record which is ‘A Hard Man is Good to Find’.

      Liked by 2 people

    • vintage45 5:16 pm on April 19, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      Play it loud

      Liked by 3 people

    • Carmen 6:07 pm on April 19, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      Is your cheek sore from lodging your tongue in it? 😉

      Liked by 2 people

      • mistermuse 6:39 pm on April 19, 2018 Permalink | Reply

        That’s a rather cheeky question, Carmen, but the only sore spot is the top of my head (that frying pan is more like a cast iron skillet). 😦

        Liked by 1 person

    • nonton film online sub Indo 10:18 am on May 12, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      Appreciating the time and effort you put into your blog and in depth information you present.
      It’s awesome to come across a blog every once in a while
      that isn’t the same outdated rehashed material. Wonderful read!
      I’ve saved your site and I’m adding your RSS feeds to my Google account.

      Liked by 1 person

  • mistermuse 12:01 am on April 15, 2017 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , , Brigham Young, , , , , men, , , , , , Solomon, , wives,   

    HUSBAND APPRECIATION DAY 

    The third Saturday in April, which happens to be today, is HUSBAND APPRECIATION DAY. Unfortunately (or fortunately, as the case may be), I have but one wife to appreciate me. Not that I’m greedy, you understand, but I can’t help wondering what it would be like having many wives appreciate me — like in such open-minded countries as Afghanistan, where polygamy is a common practice. Speaking of practice, practice may make perfect, but prudence dictates that such things should be checked out before one plunges into it.

    Luckily, one has only to turn to Googlepedia to find pertinent reports. For example, a well-educated Imam of Islam, Mohammed Bello Abubakar, was quoted in The Christian Science Monitor and the BBC as saying, “I married 86 women and there is peace in the house — if there is peace, how can this be wrong? A man with ten wives would collapse and die, but my own power is given by Allah. That is why I have been able to control 86 of them.” By the time of his death on January 28 at 92 (years, not wives), he actually had not 86, not 92, but 120 wives, and had fathered 203 children. And I thought I was busy.

    But Bello Abubakar was a piker at polygamy compared to that wisest of Old Testament wife hoarders, King Solomon, who is said to have had up to 1,000 wives….not to mention 300 concubines on the side. Apparently, it helps to get religion if one hopes to honey-up and handle hives of wives. Bee that as it may, the problem is that one can’t grab unto just any religion in order to have one’s fill of mates. For example, I was raised Catholic, which is not the most reasonable religion in the world when it comes to conjugal largesse. On top of that — though I am now free of such doctrinaire prohibition — the secular powers-that-be in America maintain equally unenlightened views in marital matters. So you can see what we poor, monogamous men are up against in so-called liberal democracies.

    Of course, we could resort to bigamy, but at what cost? It’s a sad state of affairs when you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t. But never let it be said that I’m not a broad-minded guy — thus, I call on the following sexpert testimony, which unfortunately (or fortunately, as the case may be) includes no female witnesses:

    Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same. –Oscar Wilde

    The best argument against bigamy is that it leaves a man no place to hang his clothes. –Evan Esar

    Bigamy is the only crime where two rites make a wrong. –Bob Hope

    Why a man would want a wife is a mystery to bachelors; why a man would want two wives is a bigamystery. –Evan Esar

    Polygamy, n. A house of atonement, fitted with several stools of repentance, as distinguished from monogamy, which has but one.–Ambrose Bierce (The Devil’s Dictionary)

    Brigham Young originated mass production [in America], but Henry Ford was the one who improved on it. –Will Rogers

    Polygamy: an endeavor to get more out of life than there is in it. –Elbert Hubbard

    Every man should have four wives: a Persian, with whom he can converse; a woman from Khorasan, for the housework; a Hindu woman to raise the children; and one from Transoxiana, whom he can beat as a warning to the others. –Mirza Aziz Koka

    That last quote seems a bit over the top, I must admit. How could the average person be expected to know where the hell Khorasan and Transoxiana are?

     

     
    • linnetmoss 7:13 am on April 15, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      Groucho: “Well whadaya say girls? Are we all gonna get married?” Woman: “All of us? But that’s bigamy!” Groucho: “Yes, and it’s big-a-me too.”

      Liked by 2 people

      • mistermuse 9:47 am on April 15, 2017 Permalink | Reply

        I remember that joke, but I’m not sure if Groucho was the first to say it. No matter — no one ever said it better!

        P.S. For the benefit of those not up on their Marx (Brothers), Groucho said it in ANIMAL CRACKERS (1930).

        Liked by 2 people

    • Carmen 10:20 am on April 15, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      I’ve never heard any women saying they’d like to have multiple husbands. . Hmmm. . . Wonder why? 😉

      Liked by 2 people

      • mistermuse 10:47 am on April 15, 2017 Permalink | Reply

        Carmen, I can only speak for myself: when a wife has me for a husband, she thinks….

        Liked by 1 person

        • Carmen 11:14 am on April 15, 2017 Permalink

          I’m laughing.

          But since it’s Hubby Appreciation day, I will save my deprecatory comments. 🙂
          (and don’t tell me, you think that song is about you)

          Liked by 2 people

        • mistermuse 11:36 am on April 15, 2017 Permalink

          Carmen, I trust that you are giving your hubby the appreciation he is due today! 🙂

          Liked by 1 person

        • Carmen 11:44 am on April 15, 2017 Permalink

          Always! (in fact, he really is quite spoiled – just ask our daughters!)

          Liked by 2 people

    • arekhill1 10:42 am on April 15, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      Transoxiana was easy for Google to find, Sr. Muse, and it turns out to be modern Uzbekistan, approximately. Apparently its natives have always preferred to live in a nearly unpronounceable land.

      Liked by 2 people

    • mistermuse 11:33 am on April 15, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      I clicked “Like” but I meant “Don’t like.”

      Liked by 1 person

    • Don Frankel 6:24 pm on April 15, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      This brings up images of monogamy and or memories of Mr & Mrs Bundy but then there is nothing to suggest that Cahn and Van Heusen were talking about only one marriage. Just that you need love.

      Liked by 2 people

      • mistermuse 7:39 pm on April 15, 2017 Permalink | Reply

        Don, as it happens, one of the books I bought at that library book sale several months ago was Sammy Cahn’s autobiography titled I SHOULD CARE….and one of the chapters is titled LOVE AND MARRIAGE. I haven’t gotten around to reading the book yet, but I can tell you that he was married more than once (but not at the same time, because that would’ve been bigamy — or rather, biga-him).

        Liked by 2 people

    • Carmen 7:09 pm on April 15, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      I thought you made this up. Just took a ‘stroll’ through Noseybook and indeed, it’s true! (I mean, it HAS to be if it’s on FB!)

      I should know better than to doubt you, mister muse. . .

      Liked by 2 people

    • Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, MCC, SCAC 12:14 am on April 20, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      SO sorry I missed Husband Appreciation Day, but since I am no longer so encumbered, I hope I may be forgiven. I hope you enjoyed your day.
      xx,
      mgh
      (Madelyn Griffith-Haynie – ADDandSoMuchMORE dot com)
      ADD Coach Training Field founder; ADD Coaching co-founder
      “It takes a village to educate a world!”

      Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse 10:23 am on April 20, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      Thanks, Madelyn. I got a big kick out of Husband Appreciation Day because my wife waited on me hand and foot (a hand grabbing unto my ear and a foot launched at my rear end). It’s good to know she still loves me after all these years.

      Liked by 2 people

    • D. Wallace Peach 5:14 pm on April 20, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      Ha ha ha. Great post. I love the Wilde and Esar quotes. I hope Koka was a bachelor.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Lavinia Ross 7:42 pm on April 20, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      Have you seen the 2009 Woody Allen movie “Whatever Works”? 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    • heidi ruckriegel 12:26 am on May 24, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      That whole thing of one guy having 100 wives always seemed a bit selfish to me. Wouldn’t there be 99 guys who have to stay single?

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 7:40 am on May 24, 2017 Permalink | Reply

        Possibly….but 50 of them might WANT to stay single (just kidding — I’d make a quip of almost every single reply if I could!). 🙂

        Like

  • mistermuse 12:00 am on September 15, 2016 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: Balzac, , , , , , , , , , , wedding anniversary, wives   

    MARRIAGE TO A-MUSE 

    Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution? –Groucho Marx

    • * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

    My wife and I celebrated our 48th wedding anniversary yesterday. You may think that, unlike the 50th, a 48th wedding anniversary is no big deal — and I wouldn’t disagree. But, being in need of an idea for this post, I wasn’t about to look a gift source in the mouth; thus, yesterday’s anniversary became my inspiration to write about….divorce.

    Ha ha — just kidding (my wife might kill me if I were serious). This post will, of course, be about MARRIAGE….a fate which, as fates go, beats being killed (almost) any day. Ha ha ha. Just kidding again! Lest there be any doubt concerning my true feelings about marriage:

    Yes, just as in the song, ask the local gentry, and they will say it’s elementary. But why stop with the local gentry? I believe my readers are nothing if not broad minded:

    Marriage is the most licentious of human institutions — that is the secret of its popularity. –George Bernard Shaw

    Getting married, like getting hanged, is a great deal less dreadful than it has been made out. –H. L. Mencken

    It’s no disgrace for a woman to make a mistake in marrying — every woman does it. –Ed Howe

    A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. –Michel de Montaigne

    Marriage is like paying an endless visit in your worst clothes. –J. B. Priestley

    When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife. –Prince Philip

    Marriage is a feminine plot to add to a man’s responsibilities and subtract from his rights. –Evan Esar

    Before marriage, a man declares he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won’t even lay down his paper to talk to you. –Helen Rowland

    The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to play the violin. –Honore de Balzac

    I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her. –Rodney Dangerfield

    Ha ha ha ha….I mean, Yes, dear — I’m listening. Seriously.

     

     
    • painkills2 12:13 am on September 15, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      48 years is quite an accomplishment… for your wife. 😀

      Liked by 3 people

    • Carmen 7:53 am on September 15, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Congrats to both of you! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    • linnetmoss 8:23 am on September 15, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Congratulations to you both! I have noticed that the Irish love mordant jokes about marriage:
      An Irishman surprised his wife and her lover in the act.
      He grabbed a pistol and pointed it at his head, which made his wife burst out laughing.
      “What do you think you’re laughing at,” he cried, “you’re next.”

      Liked by 2 people

    • arekhill1 10:19 am on September 15, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Lucky you, Sr. Muse. If you added my years of marriage to yours, you’d be at 50 exactly.

      Like

      • mistermuse 1:03 pm on September 15, 2016 Permalink | Reply

        Lucky indeed, Ricardo….apropos of which, here is an appropriate song (from the same film featured in my previous post):

        Liked by 1 person

    • Mary Cathleen Clark 11:48 am on September 15, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Congratulations…48 years is quite an accomplishment.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Don Frankel 4:03 pm on September 15, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Congratulations to you and Mrs. Muse and as you just pointed out, you remembered it.

      Like

      • mistermuse 4:47 pm on September 15, 2016 Permalink | Reply

        Thanks, Don. At my age, it’s no small thing to remember small things (or, sometimes, even large ones).

        Liked by 1 person

    • Cynthia Jobin 5:28 pm on September 15, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      I’m never sure if a marriage is an accomplishment, but yours certainly has been long. Warmest wishes as you celebrate!

      Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse 6:17 pm on September 15, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Thanks, Cynthia. Some say you have to work to make marriage work, so in that sense, I guess it is an accomplishment (though I don’t think of it as work!). 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    • Jane 4:56 am on September 17, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Congratulations on surviving 48 years! 😉 There are some ripper quotes there and I’m looking forward to using them myself on occasion. Thanks for the laughs! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse 7:25 am on September 17, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Thank you, Jane. One of my favorite tasks in writing posts such as this is doing the research and choosing about ten ‘killer’ quotes (those which, paradoxically, are the “surviving” finalists from the hundreds available). 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    • Garfield Hug 9:13 am on September 17, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Congratulations mistermuse to you and yours!! Diamond anniversary is around the corner…so plan a big party and a great gift for Mrs😊

      Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse 11:08 am on September 17, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Well, first I’ve got to make it to our Golden (50th) Anniversary! 🙂 As for a great gift for the Mrs., I’m thinking what could be better than a furball Garfield? My bank account tells me a diamond wouldn’t be appropriate until our Diamond (60th) Anniversary….ha ha.

      Like

    • Mél@nie 12:23 pm on September 18, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      admiration and respect, Sir… send you my very best: health, joy, love and long life together… sincerely, Mélanie NB

      Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse 4:30 pm on September 18, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Thank you, Mél@nie — my best to you as well.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Belle Papillon 24/7 8:55 am on September 27, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Wow! Some people are blessed to meet that one person who will complement them and are willing to work on the marriage no matter what. Congratulations to you both and I wish you the best.

      How I wish I was fortunate enough… but I have given up on that institution.
      I have accepted the fact that I’m a frog picker so I will shy away from that and say never again.

      Namaste!

      ❤ BP

      Liked by 2 people

    • mistermuse 1:14 pm on September 27, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      The old saying “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again” may be an iffy proposition when it comes to marriage, but as one who got it right the first time, who am I to judge? So I will shy away from “never again” as an absolute….but if that’s what it’s come to in your case, more power to you! 🙂

      Like

c
Compose new post
j
Next post/Next comment
k
Previous post/Previous comment
r
Reply
e
Edit
o
Show/Hide comments
t
Go to top
l
Go to login
h
Show/Hide help
shift + esc
Cancel