TODAY, MAYOR OF RABBIT HASH; TOMORROW, LEADER OF THE FLEA WORLD

Five days ago, this blog broke the news of a fetching, but pugnacious, new Presidential candidate: Lucy Lou, border collie Mayor of Rabbit Hash, KY.

Three years ago, in a post for another blog, I urged the need for a viable third party in America to break the stranglehold of the two entrenched parties on the electoral process.

Today, we bring it all together by proposing that Lucy Lou head up such a third party in order to enhance her chances of winning the election. But let us not put the cart before the tail — the first thing a third party needs is a catchy name to get the ball cart rolling. Three years ago, I proposed such potential attention-grabbers as The Holier-Than-Thou Party, The Head-Them-Off-At-The-Impasse Party, and The Free Beer Party, but not even the latter went down well with more than a handful of readers — possibly because I didn’t have more than a handful of readers at the time.

In any case, as I reported then, my one or two minutes of exhaustive research found that when a 3rd or 4th party tried to jump start their bid for popular support, most barely got off the ground, even in other countries — despite choosing such serious sobriquets as the following:

THE DEADLY SERIOUS PARTY (Australia)
THE PARTY! PARTY! PARTY! PARTY (Australia)
THE ABSOLUTELY ABSURD PARTY (Canada)
THE FED-UP PARTY (aka THE F U PARTY) (Canada)
PARTITO DELL’AMORE (THE LOVE PARTY) (Italy)

But I am not deterred, because this time we will have man’s best friend as our standard bearer, and I believe that any appellation which reminds the electorate of that fact will serve the purpose. Thus, I propose the following names for consideration, and I invite my by-now-vast legions of readers to vote for their favorite, or even come up with a write-in candidate if none of these suit your fancy:

THE I LOVE LUCY LOU PARTY
THE OPEN BORDER-COLLIE PARTY
THE CANINE REFORM ALLIANCE PARTY (CRAP)
THE RAISE THE MINIMUM WAGS PARTY
THE PARTY POOPER PARTY
THE WHAT GOOD ARE CATS PARTY
THE LET THEM EAT KIBBLES ‘N BITS PARTY
THE HOWLING HAIRY HUSH PUPPIES PARTY
THE TOP DOG PARTY

Finally, getting the campaign off on the right paw requires a campaign song, and it’s hard to imagine a more fitting campaign song for a good ol’ country dog from Kentucky than this:

Advertisements

7 comments on “TODAY, MAYOR OF RABBIT HASH; TOMORROW, LEADER OF THE FLEA WORLD

  1. Don Frankel says:

    I’m going with The Top Dog Party because it’s what all parties aspire too and we would just be honest about it. And, yes I’m joining too.

    Like

  2. arekhill1 says:

    How about the Heaven on Earth Party because, according to some sources, all dogs go there?

    Like

  3. mistermuse says:

    Don, your 9th-and-last-name-on-the-list choice reminds me that it should have been a Top TEN List (who ever heard of a Top Nine List?). This gives me an excellent excuse – I mean reason – to add Ricardo’s “Heaven on Earth Party” to the roster (not that it doesn’t warrant inclusion on its own merits).

    Like

  4. arekhill1 says:

    Or take the opposite tack and call it The Underdog Party, which it surely is, and hope to capture the votes of the Sweet Polly Purebred demographic.

    Like

  5. mistermuse says:

    Good point, which calls for an additional appropriate campaign song:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wQEm6HZuTl8

    Like

  6. Don Frankel says:

    Actually Muse the Major League Baseball channel has a top 9, as in the top 9 hitters or pitchers of all time. As they say there are 9 innings and 9 positions on the field. So we can have 9 top Dogs here and I’m honored to one of them.

    Like

  7. mistermuse says:

    I withstand corrected, Don. Frankly, I think some teams (like my Cin. Reds this season) are so miserable that they should be allowed 10 positions on the field. They still probably wouldn’t be contenders, but at least it might make the game more interesting.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s