May 9 is LOST SOCK MEMORIAL DAY — the day we commemorate an inevitability we can all relate to: the sock you can’t find a mate to. You can search the floors and rummage through your drawers, but….well, let’s face it. It’s the dreaded….


Ozone hole, black hole,
Mysterious holes in space —
As a whole, no hole can match
The Great Sock Missing Case.

I faithfully put
Pairs of socks in the laundry —
How one of those pairs comes out
One-half pair is a quandary.

I look here and there….
I look everywhere —
Needless to say, there’s no trace.
One sock gone is weird —
Man, it just disappeared….
I mean, like it ain’t no place!

If it’s happened once,
It’s happened a bunch;
I wish I had the answer —
If only to post
It was spirited by the ghost
Of a dispirited one-legged dancer.

Whatever’s to blame,
Each theory seems defective;
It’s time to size up
The whole thing like a detective.

So, since we never lose
Underwear, shirt or blouse,
Logic says there must be
A socklifter in our house.