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  • mistermuse 12:00 am on September 25, 2016 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: bitches, , , itches, pitches, , , riches, Samuel Taylor Coleridge, water, witches   

    AN EMBARRASSMENT OF RICHES 

    Water, water, everywhere, / [And not a] drop to drink.
    –Samuel Taylor Coleridge, THE RIME OF THE ANCIENT MARINER

    • * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

    So much I could write about, but of nothing can I think.
    Oh, fie on my dilemma, scheduled post day on the brink!
    Such embarrassment of riches is an albatross ’round my neck….
    All this water all about; sound the call: all rimes of “riches” on deck!

    An embarrassment of BITCHES: complaining to the max
    An embarrassment of DITCHES: the downside of digging, sore backs
    An embarrassment of GLITCHES: my computer is prone to upheaval
    An embarrassment of HITCHES: my computer is a necessary evil

    An embarrassment of ITCHES: too unreachable for scratching
    An embarrassment of KITCHES: bad taste beyond patching
    An embarrassment of MITCHES: too many friends named Mitchell
    An embarrassment of NICHES: easily found places that hide a missile

    An embarrassment of PITCHES: throes of what The Donald doth tout
    An embarrassment of RICHES: what this post is all about
    An embarrassment of STITCHES: what I hope this post’ll leave you in
    An embarrassment of WITCHES: wicked ones melt (they’re inhuman)

    NOTE: I didn’t want you to think I’m too big for my BRITCHES, so I left them off — the list, that is — WHICH IS cool with me and, I assume, with you.

     

     
    • scifihammy 4:31 am on September 25, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      haha Great rhymes 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    • Carmen 5:28 am on September 25, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      You’re a genius, Mr. Muse!

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 6:38 am on September 25, 2016 Permalink | Reply

        Now if you could only convince my family of that! Oh, well, it’s all relative (to paraphrase that other genius, Albert Einstein).

        Like

    • arekhill1 2:44 pm on September 25, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      In fine form you are today, Sr. Muse. Yeah, it’s National Talk Like Yoda Day.

      Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse 5:40 pm on September 25, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      At my age, to be in fine form with no britches on is stretching it, Ricardo — but I thank you nonetheless.

      Like

    • Don Frankel 6:15 am on September 26, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      “Double, double toil and trouble;
      Fire burn, and cauldron bubble.”

      Which doesn’t rhyme with Witches but it’s what they said. Just ask Macbeth.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Carmen 6:17 am on September 26, 2016 Permalink | Reply

        They were real weird sisters, eh Don? 😉

        Like

    • Don Frankel 9:46 am on September 26, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      You got it Carmen but I think that’s the job description.

      Like

    • mistermuse 10:56 am on September 26, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Thanks for the Macbeth reference, Don. Actually, I had WIZARD OF OZ in mind (“wicked ones melt”) when composing my “embarrassment of WITCHES” rhyme:

      By the way (speaking of Shakespeare),I thought perhaps the old idiom “an embarrassment of riches” may have originated with him, but it turns out that it comes from a 1726 French play titled “L’Embarras des richesses.”

      Like

    • Cynthia Jobin 2:35 pm on September 26, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      A most admirable way you make the switch from rhyming the center to rhyming the ends….classy as Abercrombie and Fitch, delicious as a bacon flitch… As a poet you have found your niche…which might make some folks twitch, but don’t worry, I won’t snitch. Well done, mistermuse!

      Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse 10:14 pm on September 26, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Thank you for adding a word to my vocabulary, Cynthia, as I hadn’t heard of the word “flitch,” which I find is a side of bacon (or as I would call it, a Ham-let, to go along with the previous reference to Macbeth). That’s a play on lard, courtesy of The Bard. 😦

      Liked by 1 person

    • Cynthia Jobin 11:13 pm on September 26, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      🙂

      Like

    • BroadBlogs 4:32 pm on September 27, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      I’m assuming “bitches” is nongendered here. Or that it’s a good thing. 😉

      Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse 11:21 pm on September 27, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      You assume correctly, otherwise I might bitch about my meaning being misunderstood, which is not a good thing!

      Like

    • D. Wallace Peach 12:26 pm on September 30, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Ha ha ha. Very clever…and wha-la, a post 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    • Mark Scheel 2:25 pm on October 6, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Well, here everybody is. Found it–and, I see, I have been here before, long ago and far from memory. Anyhow, very clever language play. I commend you.

      Mark

      Liked by 1 person

  • mistermuse 3:28 pm on January 16, 2015 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , humor quotation, , water   

    OXY-BEN GAP FILLER 

    In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria.
    –Benjamin Franklin

    • * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * ** * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

    Fellow American History lovers, I hadn’t intended to post again until Ben Franklin’s birthday tomorrow, but in doing research for same, I came across the above quote which so smoothly bridges the space between Ben and the subject of my last post, I would be stupid to let it pass.

    What’s that you say — letting it pass wouldn’t make any difference? Fine. Just for that, I have a good mind….not to invite you back tomorrow for more Ben. But I forgive you. Meanwhile, while drinking water, remember to filter it through your teeth to strain out the bacteria. I wish I could say that also works for straining out stupidity, but no matter — in your case, it’s too late anyway. Hahahahaha.

     
    • Don Frankel 3:46 pm on January 16, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      In vino veritas. Ahh, you knew that was coming but I got here first.

      Like

    • mistermuse 5:18 pm on January 16, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Don, luckily I own a little book titled LATIN FOR ALL OCCASIONS (Lingua Latina Occasionibus Omnibus), from which I chose the following more or less appropriate responses (English translations upon request):

      Hoc ei propinabo!
      Caupo! Etiamnunc!
      Re vera, potas bene.
      Nonne de Novo Eboraco venis?

      Like

    • arekhill1 8:26 pm on January 16, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      I’m pretty sure Ben had gone flying to the Big Kite in the Sky before the concept of bacteria was fully formulated, Sr. Muse. Now that’s he’s been misquoted by a normally reliable source (you), I tremble to think that he never said that thing about beer being proof that God loves us.

      Like

      • Joseph Nebus 11:36 pm on January 16, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        I have to say, I was skeptical that Ben Franklin could bring a witty little line in at under 540 words. He was pithy for the time, but he was working in a time when everybody wrote like an end-user license agreement.

        Liked by 1 person

        • mistermuse 12:13 am on January 17, 2015 Permalink

          I was also surprised to find that Franklin quote, not as much for its brevity as for the humor of its wit. But I’m not a Franklin scholar, so perhaps that type of Franklin wit isn’t as rare as I thought. I’ll be checking out more quotes attributed to him for my Franklin birthday post after I get a good night’s sleep.

          Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse 9:36 pm on January 16, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      You had me worried there for a minute, Ricardo, so I consulted my old friend Barney Google and found that bacteria were discovered in 1676 by Antoni Van Leeuwenhoek (I’m not familiar with him either, but then his name doesn’t exactly lend itself to easy memorization). Ben wasn’t born until 1706, so I guess I’m still a reliable source. Normally.

      As for the beer quote, it seems that it’s actually a misquote, though Ben did say something similar about wine. Either way, I’d say it’s proof of something.

      Like

    • Michaeline Montezinos 10:10 pm on January 16, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      In the Old Testament of the Bible, (I am not going to look it up but I do remember the general idea,) David as a Canaaite warrior fighting the bad guys, wrote in the Psalms, that after a battle to “Give wine to the wounded and stronger drink to the dying.” (Don’t quote me; this is the gist of what he wrote.) i don’t think they had the means or the money to make beer since the Isrealites were always being enslaved by one stronger nation or another.

      Like

      • Michaeline Montezinos 10:16 pm on January 16, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        mistermuse, you are correct in writing that Anton van Leeuwenhoek (1632-1723) discovered bacteria. He was a Dutch natualist and pioneer in microscopy. He was not taken seriously until “germaphobics ” began to sit on those contour couches in psychiatrists’ offices.

        Like

    • mistermuse 11:56 pm on January 16, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      I note that van Leeuwenhoek lived to age 90 (a ripe old age in those days, or even today), so he must have taken his microbiology seriously even when others didn’t.

      Like

    • scifihammy 12:55 am on January 17, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Love the quote. Now I am busy straining bacteria through my teeth as I drink my coffee!! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse 8:00 am on January 17, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      You know it’s a great quote when you don’t notice incorrect grammar….or if you do, you realize the quote is perfect the way it is. I refer to the word “bacteria,” which is plural (for “bacterium”). Technically speaking, the quote should end “there ARE bacteria” — but then, it wouldn’t end well, and we all know all’s well that end’s well.

      Like

  • mistermuse 11:43 am on January 14, 2015 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , , water   

    OXY-MORONS 

    The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.
    –Harlan Jay Ellison, writer

    • * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

    Don’t forget one part oxygen,
    because it’s gotta be the water.

     
    • linnetmoss 5:09 pm on January 14, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Great quote. I love Harlan Ellison!

      Like

    • mistermuse 5:19 pm on January 14, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      I love great quotes, not only for themselves, but “to jump off of.” If I can thereby make a little splash, all the better!

      Like

      • Michaeline Montezinos 12:12 am on January 15, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        My Mom gave me a diary years ago that had great quotes on every day page. I did read them when times were challenging. The quotes inspired me; still have that book. Too bad I can’t swim but love to use them as a starting point in the marathon of writing. 🙂

        Like

    • mistermuse 9:02 am on January 15, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      I can’t swim either, but I still like to make that little splash I spoke of in my previous comment.

      Like

    • arekhill1 8:27 pm on January 15, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      What order do they come in?

      Like

    • mistermuse 9:57 pm on January 15, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      I don’t know the order, but the ratio is H to O. Apparently, those who drink it religiously may become addicted to stupidity. It’s a fundamental problem.

      Like

    • Don Frankel 7:08 am on January 16, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Oxy-moron, oxycodone, oxycontin all go best with a little water and maybe some Scotch. Take your pick.

      Like

    • mistermuse 9:09 am on January 16, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Maybe I’d better stop equating drinking H2O with stupidity. After all, I drink the stuff, and my IQ is higher than I can count (is that funny, or am I stupid? — don’t answer that).

      Like

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