Tagged: vacation trips Toggle Comment Threads | Keyboard Shortcuts

  • mistermuse 1:47 pm on April 3, 2015 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , , , , vacation trips   

    BEWARE OF TOURISTS! 

    Spring is here and summer is near.
    Comes that time of the year
    Tourists can be a pain in the rear.

    But some are like me, so be of good cheer —
    I’m not as ill-bred as I may appear
    (if I ever doubt it, I look in the mirror).

    Now, money is something I know you hold dear,
    So if you’ll take my tip, get your ass in gear
    And earn it like me — do I make myself clear?

    ENDEMIC SPECIES

    What time do they let the animals out of the park?
    –sightseer at Denali National Park

    Park rangers (we bet) know
    Why nature lovers grieve —
    Animals are ‘let go’….
    But the tourists won’t leave.

    BLUE NOSE TOURS RED-LIGHT DISTRICT

    Whores!

     

     
    • arekhill1 4:19 pm on April 3, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      As long as we’re discussing prostitution, let me quote again my favorite Dorothy Parker line: “You can lead a horticulture, but you can’t make her think.”

      Like

    • mistermuse 6:07 pm on April 3, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Well, let’s not be too hard on whores – they have to live too.

      Like

    • Joseph Nebus 1:38 pm on April 4, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Aw, but tourists can add such an atmosphere to a place. It’s an atmosphere of being photographed and moved past, but that’s still something.

      Like

    • mistermuse 4:58 pm on April 4, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Many’s the time I’ve been a tourist myself, and many’s the photo album I’ve filled as a result….so this post was more caricature than eyewitness account, but I did observe a few “Ugly Americans” along the way.

      Like

  • mistermuse 12:30 am on November 3, 2014 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , home, , , , , vacation trips, Wm. Hazlitt   

    HOME IS WHERE THE OLD FART IS 

    No doubt you’ve heard this old familiar saying:

    Home is where the heart is. -Pliny the Elder

    As much as I loved to travel (50 U.S. states & 9 foreign countries) in my pre-Elder days, home, even then, was where the heart is; it was always good to return home and get back to work (well, at least, to return home). Although those days are now beyond return, being a senior homebody has its own pleasures….not the least of which is having time to reflect on what the hell the world is all about. Of course, I am far from the first to think along these lines:

    I should like to spend the whole of my life traveling, if I could borrow another life to spend at home. -William Hazlitt

    A man’s home is his castle. -Sir Edward Coke

    A girl phoned me the other day and said, “Come on over, there’s nobody home.” I went over. Nobody was home. -Rodney Dangerfield 

    Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport. -Henny Youngman

    A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes. -Charles Spurgeon (perhaps referring to political attack ads)

    The cool thing about being famous is traveling. I have always wanted to travel across seas, like to Canada and stuff. -Britney Spears

    Never go on trips with anyone you do not love. -Ernest Hemingway

    Home is heaven for beginners. -Charles Henry Parkhurst

    There’s no place like home plate. -mistermuse, batting for Yogi Berra

    There’s no place like home. -Judy Garland:

     
    • arekhill1 1:06 am on November 3, 2014 Permalink | Reply

      Was that Pliny the Elder? I thought it was Dale Evans.

      Like

      • mistermuse 7:36 am on November 3, 2014 Permalink | Reply

        Lucky for me, it was Pliny the Elder, because “in my pre-Evans days” (post’s next sentence) wouldn’t have made much sentence – er, sense.

        Like

    • ladysighs 6:18 am on November 3, 2014 Permalink | Reply

      ” Of course, I am far from the first to think along these lines”
      They are good lines no matter who thought of them. 🙂
      And worth repeating. Thank you!

      Like

    • Don Frankel 1:56 pm on November 4, 2014 Permalink | Reply

      I was just reminiscing with my Cousin about the Wizard of Oz, one of the all time great movies.

      Just remember when you are at home plate, “You can’t think and hit at the same time.” And if you get a 3 and 0 count. “Some guys don’t like to swing on a 3 and 0 pitch, because they swing.” Both Yogisms.

      Like

    • Don Frankel 1:56 pm on November 4, 2014 Permalink | Reply

      Oh yeah and this Sir Edmund Coke here, is he one of those Coke brothers we hear about?

      Like

    • mistermuse 6:15 pm on November 4, 2014 Permalink | Reply

      I learned after Googling Sir Edmund Coke that his last name is pronounced “Cook,” as in too many Cooks spoil the stupid. Speaking of spoiled and stupid, what are we to make of that Britney Spears quote? OK, I’ll be nice – she just isn’t well edumacated.

      Like

    • Michaeline Montezinos 7:17 pm on November 4, 2014 Permalink | Reply

      I love to buy hats of all kinds. I also like to travel. So to me, “Where I hang my hat is home.”

      Like

    • mistermuse 8:34 pm on November 4, 2014 Permalink | Reply

      Then you should love this, Michaeline:
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pe0x_QHUwdA

      Like

    • Michaeline Montezinos 6:30 pm on November 5, 2014 Permalink | Reply

      Thank you, mistermuse, for having Barbra sing to me that song. I also listened to the one she sang from “Color me Barbra.” I liked both of them. 🙂

      Like

    • mistermuse 8:37 pm on November 5, 2014 Permalink | Reply

      You’re welcome, Michaeline. For the record, “Anyplace I Hang My Hat Is Home” was composed by Harold Arlen, with lyrics by Johnny Mercer.

      Like

c
Compose new post
j
Next post/Next comment
k
Previous post/Previous comment
r
Reply
e
Edit
o
Show/Hide comments
t
Go to top
l
Go to login
h
Show/Hide help
shift + esc
Cancel