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  • mistermuse 12:00 am on May 14, 2018 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , , Let's Do It, lust, , , , , , taxes, Uncle Sam   


    Pardon the intrusion —
    I don’t mean to pry —
    But the deficit’s soaring;
    The figures don’t lie.

    Uncle Sam’s in a pickle —
    Needs money like mad —
    So he sent me to tell you
    You must pay to be bad.

    He’s taxed income and outgo
    And capital gains;
    Now, an excise on excess
    Is all that remains.

    Uncle wants to be fair —
    No sin taxes he’ll seek
    ‘less you go making love
    More than one time a week.

    I’m installing surveillance
    To monitor your behavior.
    Lusting under covers won’t save you —
    I’ll hear your cries to the Father of your Savior.

    But please don’t take this personal —
    It’s my job to listen and view it.
    Hey, you know what they say:
    Someone’s got to do it.






  • mistermuse 12:39 am on April 15, 2015 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: April 15, , , Internal Revenue Service, , , , tax deductions, taxes   


    Did you ever notice that when you put the words “THE” and “IRS” together, it spells THEIRS? -Anonymous

    It’s April 15th — tax day in America. If you haven’t already done so, it’s time to reward Uncle Sam for the fruits of your labor — even if you claim you hate your job (sour grapes are nonetheless taxable).

    In this country, the job of collecting donations to the federal government falls to the IRS — AKA the Infernal Revenue Service. In years past, I (like many other nightmare-lovers) have often opted to procrastinate up to the last day to prepare my tax return. Not so this year — as you will see when I relate a brief but curious conversation I had this morning with my neighbor, Max, over the backyard fence:

    “Hello, Muse!”
    “Good morning, Max.”
    “Have you done
    your income tax?”
    “Taxing though
    it be to say,
    know I did
    it yesterday.”
    “Did you take
    your deductions?”
    “I deduced
    for reductions.”
    “Four reduced?
    I laud your feat!”
    “I took off
    both hands and feet.”
    “That’s the way
    to keep ahead!”
    “Yes, I used
    my limbs in stead.”
    “Instead of
    head? Way to go!”
    That’s the way
    to save some dough!”
    “Have you done
    your income tax?”
    “Good day, Muse.”
    “Good morning, Max.”

    • arekhill1 8:33 am on April 15, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      I coughed up a couple grand yesterday. Don’t feel like writing a poem about. it.


    • mistermuse 9:53 am on April 15, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      I don’t blame you, Ricardo. In lieu of a poem, how about this: 😦


    • Don Frankel 6:01 pm on April 15, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      It might have been cheaper and easier to give them the pound of flesh.

      I gave them a few hundred but I don’t mind. I’d rather have had my hands on my money. They give you a refund but they don’t give you any interest for having the use of your money.


    • mistermuse 7:46 pm on April 15, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      I used to feel the same, Don, but rates are so low now, the interest on a few hundred “don’t amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world” – not that I give a hill of beans, because the older I get, the less money interests me (as long as we have enough for our needs (admittedly, loosely defined).

      Liked by 1 person

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