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  • mistermuse 12:01 am on August 1, 2018 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , birth certificate, Cabaret, , illegal aliens, Joel Grey, Kardashians, , , , Paul the apostle, Robin Williams, , the buck stops here,   

    THINKING OUTSIDE THE BUCKS 

    Money is the root of all evil.

    Some people–especially the biblically grounded–say the above admonition dates back to the apostle Paul’s first letter to the Kardashians….specifically, Timothy (Kardashian). But said name (“Tim” for short) was changed to “Kim” early on because Tim wasn’t Tiny for long (plus, “Tim” was obviously an inappropriate name for someone of her gender). Or maybe “Kimothy” was misspelled “Timothy” on the birth certificate, and the error went unnoticed until the day they had to furnish proof she wasn’t an illegal alien. Whatever.

    But if we can’t believe the bible, what then? For the record, my sources have uncovered this more likely origin for MONEY IS THE ROOT OF ALL EVIL, first recorded by The Andrews Sisters and sung on the 1940s Blue (radio) Network (other researchers put their money on the Green Network, but that’s a source of a different color):

    I must admit the song isn’t nitpickingly accurate. The correct admonition is The love of money is the root of all evil. This does put a whole different spin on the sin, the point being that you can screw who you will for wealth, and, so long as you don’t love it–so long as you can say, “Up yours!”, your affairs are strictly money business.

    And so we come to the point in the proceedings where, having run out of my own pearls of profundity to pad the post, I turn to what others have to say (and sing) on the subject:

    Business is the art of extracting money from another man’s pocket without resorting to violence. –Max Amsterdam

    It’s money. I remember it from when I was single. –Billy Crystal

    A billion here, a billion there, and pretty soon you’re talking about real money. –Everett Dirksen, former U.S. Senator

    It may be hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven, but it’s easy for him to get on the church board of trustees. –Evan Esar

    Women prefer men who have something tender about them — especially the legal kind. –Kay Ingram

    A fool and his money are soon elected. –Will Rogers

    Cocaine is God’s way of saying you’re making too much money. –Robin Williams

    And with that, the buck stops here.

     
    • Paul Sunstone 12:22 am on August 1, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      “Give me control of a nation’s money, and I care not who makes its laws.” Whether or not Nathan Rothschild actually said that is disputed, but what cannot be disputed is that whoever controls a nation’s money is positioned to rule that nation.

      Liked by 3 people

      • mistermuse 6:51 am on August 1, 2018 Permalink | Reply

        Now that you mention it, I think you’re right — our nation’s wives do control the money (not to mention their husbands).

        Liked by 2 people

    • scifihammy 3:33 am on August 1, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      haha An entertaining post. 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

    • masercot 5:50 am on August 1, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      Boy, do I love the Andrews sisters. First spotted them in the Abbott and Costello movies. The big blonde is my favorite…

      Liked by 2 people

      • mistermuse 7:00 am on August 1, 2018 Permalink | Reply

        I do remember the Andrews in an A & C movie, but (without looking it up) I don’t remember which one (maybe more). The blond Andrews was Patti, the lead singer who, as I recall, continued to sing on her own after the sister act disbanded. I have a number of their old 78 rpm records in my collection.

        Liked by 1 person

        • masercot 8:11 am on August 1, 2018 Permalink

          Well, just to fill in that one gap in your knowledge: The movie was called “Buck Privates”. They did both “Boogie Woogie Bugle-boy” and “Don’t Sit Under the Apple Tree”. I love the choreography of “Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy”…

          Liked by 2 people

        • mistermuse 12:44 pm on August 1, 2018 Permalink

          Thanks, Charlie. It’s been a long time since I saw that movie, but I do have both those songs on record.

          Liked by 1 person

    • calmkate 6:35 am on August 1, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      If money is the cause of all evil then why do churches keep asking for it? But love your quotes …. am expecting payment for this praise 😉
      The Andrew sisters isn’t playing for me … might be an issue this end.

      Liked by 2 people

      • mistermuse 7:17 am on August 1, 2018 Permalink | Reply

        I offer this payment–another quote, this one by Freud:
        “When someone criticizes me, I can defend myself, but against praise I am defenseless.”
        I trust you’ll accept it, because you wouldn’t want to take advantage of a poor defenseless muse, now, would you, Kate?

        Liked by 2 people

    • arekhill1 11:16 am on August 1, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      I love money. I love everything about it. I bought some pretty good stuff. Got me a $300 pair of socks. Got a fur sink. An electric dog polisher. A gasoline powered turtleneck sweater. And, of course, I bought some dumb stuff, too. –Steve Martin

      Liked by 2 people

      • mistermuse 11:55 am on August 1, 2018 Permalink | Reply

        Love the quote, Ricardo. Who doesn’t want a fur sink, an electric dog polisher, and a gasoline powered turtleneck sweater? But I think Steve could’ve done a lot better than a $300 pair of socks — in fact, I have a $600 pair of socks I’d be willing to sell him for $1,200 just to let him feel like he got his money’s worth.

        P.S. And, if he acts now, I’ll wear them for a week and ship them unwashed so they smell good.

        Like

    • Don Frankel 4:50 pm on August 1, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      Muse, I may be wrong but I thought Paul wrote his letters to these guys.

      Like

      • mistermuse 7:01 pm on August 1, 2018 Permalink | Reply

        Don, scholars say Paul wrote letters to the Romans, Corinthians, Galatians, Colossians, Philippians, Thessalonians, and of course the Kardashians, but they don’t mention The Coronets. If Paul did write to The Coronets, the letters must have got lost in the mail.

        Like

    • chattykerry 2:43 pm on August 2, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      Gosh, I love the way you wound the bible around the Kardashians, the Andrews Sisters and Robin Williams. Excellent post – there should be award for this type of thinking!

      Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse 4:48 pm on August 2, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      Thank you, Kerry — comments like yours are my award. 🙂

      By the way, I had to work “Timothy” into the post as well, because “money is the root of all evil” is actually from Paul’s first letter to Timothy (though I can’t say for sure that Timothy’s last name was Kardashian). 🙂 🙂

      Like

    • ESP 1:47 am on August 7, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      came here from potato blog, and find this as entertaining as it was claimed to be. following for more.

      Liked by 1 person

    • America On Coffee 1:43 pm on August 7, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      Nice!

      Liked by 1 person

    • mlrover 5:43 pm on August 15, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      Yes, it’s the “love of money” not the dinero itself. Creepy, amoral and wordy Any Rand misquoted that Scripture passage to justify her weirdness. She had Frisco blabbing on for pages and pages about it in Atlas Shrugged. As if everyone at a party is going to stand around and listen to anyone that long. OK, the guy was supposed to be handsome and rich. Still no excuse to cram her twisted philosophy into melodramatic narrative. My poly sic sister called Rand a social monster. Gee, who does that remind me of…orange and has never read the constitution he vowed to protect.

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 6:33 pm on August 15, 2018 Permalink | Reply

        If Rand and Trump are alike (except that Trump couldn’t write a coherent thought, much less a novel), it’s a good thing only one of them is still alive.

        Liked by 1 person

  • mistermuse 11:11 am on December 9, 2014 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: bank robbers, , , , James Baldwin, , , , Robin Williams, ,   

    MONEY: THE LOOT OF ALL EVIL 

    I rob banks because that’s where the money is. –Willie Sutton (though he denied saying it in his autobiography WHERE THE MONEY WAS)

    • * * * * * * * * * ** * * * * * * * * * * * *  * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

    It occured to me, as I was thinking about this, my 253rd post, that few (if any) of my previous 252 posts were about money….in fact, I can recall mentioning money in only one post, in the opening line of a 24-line poem titled A MIND IS A TERRIBLE THING TOO CHASTE:

    Money may talk,
    Though I can’t hear it —
    It takes a walk
    When I come near it.

    So a mistermusing on the subject seems long overdue….not unlike many of the bills I owe. Just kidding. I don’t not owe nothing to no one — no one that I owe of, anyway.

    Anyway, what I want to say, as is my wont to say when I can think of nothing more to say, is that I hope you enjoy the following quotes. I trust you will find them on the money:

    A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it. –Bob Hope

    The lack of money is the root of all evil. –Mark Twain

    Money was fun only until you ran out of things to buy. –Gloria Swanson, actress (silent films, Sunset Boulevard, other movies)

    Money, it turned out, was exactly like sex, you thought of nothing else if you didn’t have it and thought of other things if you did. –James Baldwin

    Money and women are the most sought after and the least understood of any two things we have. –Will Rogers

    Where I was brought up, we never talked about money because there was never enough to furnish a topic of conversation. –Mark Twain

    What this country needs is not more money, but more people who have some of it. –Evan Esar

    I am having an out of money experience. –Anonymous

    We live by the Golden Rule. Those who have the gold make the rules. –Buzzie Bavasi

    If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it. –Anonymous

    Cocaine is God’s way of saying you’re making too much money. –Robin Williams

     

     
    • ladysighs 11:38 am on December 9, 2014 Permalink | Reply

      You already know this but will tell you again. I enjoy all of your posts. The money quotes are really great. Even if I have read some of them before, they still are funny.
      But the best part of your blog isn’t the quotes but your lead in to them … or what ever you are presenting. I could have stopped reading before the quotes and enjoyed. 🙂

      Like

      • mistermuse 2:43 pm on December 9, 2014 Permalink | Reply

        I think I’ve said this before to faithful follower Don, but I believe in gender equality, so I’ll say it to you as well: If I ever need a press agent, you da man – I mean woman. Bless you, my child.

        Liked by 1 person

    • arekhill1 11:52 am on December 9, 2014 Permalink | Reply

      “A nickle ain’t worth a dime anymore”–Yogi Berra

      Like

      • mistermuse 2:51 pm on December 9, 2014 Permalink | Reply

        ….and for those who love the smell of money, here’s another goody I left out: “Money is the best deodorant.” – Elizabeth Taylor

        Like

    • Don Frankel 4:12 pm on December 9, 2014 Permalink | Reply

      I give to to Twain here although the Robin Williams quote is pretty good. The one about the $20 I heard used in the movie a Bronx Tale but it might have been around.

      Like

    • mistermuse 5:17 pm on December 9, 2014 Permalink | Reply

      Here’s another one I left out that I probably should have closed my post with:
      “Money will buy you a fine dog, but only love can make it wag its tail.” -Richard Friedman

      Like

    • Michaeline Montezinos 7:37 pm on December 9, 2014 Permalink | Reply

      I enjoyed all of the comments here on mistermuse’s blog. Especially liked the Mark Twain one, the Richard Friedman one and the Bob Hope and Yogi Berra quotes.. All the quotes and the poem you wrote before and were intertaining.

      Like

    • mistermuse 8:36 pm on December 9, 2014 Permalink | Reply

      Your comment has me wagging my tail, Michaeline. It must be true that all good things must come to an end.

      Like

  • mistermuse 10:41 pm on February 16, 2014 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: Buzzie Bavasi, coins, , , , , , Kin Hubbard, Lydia, , Massachusetts, , , Robin Williams, ,   

    ON (THE) MONEY, TO COIN A PHRASE 

    I rob banks because that’s where the money is.  –Willie Sutton

    The history of money is a fascinating subject, if you can afford the time to check into it. According to my Ye Olde Encyclopedia, early people had no system of money, probably because they had to spend all their waking hours hunting, eating, painting caves and avoiding being stepped on by dinosaurs and woolly mammoths. These pre-historic people, known as the Earlyites, used either the barter system of trading, or the no-holds-bartered system of robbing and killing, to get what they wanted. Some things never change.

    Speaking of change, the first coins were made in the 600’s B.C. in Lydia, the Tatooed Lady — I mean in Lydia, the extinct country, in what is now western Turkey. In America, the Massachusetts Bay Colony was the first to make coins; an English court allowed them to do so in 1652 before permission was withdrawn shortly thereafter. But Massachusetts continued to issue coins for 30 more years by dating all coins 1652 regardless of when made. Apparently England couldn’t make heads or tails out of why Massachusetts never ran short of 1652 coins, so they made the best of it by increasing the Colony’s taxes. Needless to say, this did not suit the Tea Party, so they threw the British into Boston Harbor, declared independence and took control of Congress before you can say New England, which on a clear day you can see from Alaska if the sun doesn’t get in your eyes.

    But enough about what I have to say, money-wise. Let us see what others have had to say about money:

    The only problems money can solve are money problems.  –Kin Hubbard

    Lack of money is the root of all evil.  –Mark Twain or George Bernard Shaw (you pays your money and you takes your choice)

    If a fool and his money are soon parted, why are there so many rich fools?  –Evan Esar

    Cocaine is God’s way of saying you’re making too much money.  –Robin Williams

    If you would know what the Lord God thinks of money, you have only to look at those to whom he gives it.  –Maurice Baring

    There is an easy way to return from a casino with a small fortune: go there with a large one.  –Jack Yelton

    We live by the Golden Rule. Those who have the gold make the rules.  –Buzzie Bavasi

    Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won’t be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did.  –Henny Youngman

    Women prefer men who have something tender about them — especially the legal kind.  –Kay Ingram

    I don’t like money, actually, but it quiets my nerves.  –Joe Louis

    I put a dollar in one of those change machines. Nothing changed.  –George Carlin

    That money talks/I’ll not deny/I heard it once/It said, “Goodbye.”  –Richard Armour 

     

     
    • Don Frankel 9:15 am on February 17, 2014 Permalink | Reply

      I thought I left a comment it seems to have disappeared or I didn’t hit the right button. Imagine the first guy who showed up at the market with his vegetables expecting to return home with a nice fat chicken but only wound up with a few pieces of metal with some noble’s who he didn’t like face on it.

      Like

    • mistermuse 9:54 am on February 17, 2014 Permalink | Reply

      Returning home with pieces of metal instead of a chicken must have been hard to swallow, Don. Even the last residents of Lydia ended up half a Turkey better off than that.

      Like

    • mistermuse 6:19 am on February 18, 2014 Permalink | Reply

      To lucindafer: I note that you clicked the “Like” icon on this posting and I thought I’d see if I might reciprocate, but for some reason I can’t “find” you, although you apparently have a new blog (the blurb that goes with your photo indicates you have a blog but no readers). I will be happy to read what you have to say if you’ll let me know how to get there.
      Good luck with your writing.

      Like

    • pendantry 5:00 am on March 15, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      On the subject of money: are you aware of Positive Money?

      Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse 9:52 am on March 15, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      I’m not, but I’m pretty sure Willie Sutton was (judging by the quote which opened this post).

      Like

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