IT’S REIGNING CATS AND DOGS

This morning’s newspaper brings news of “another copycat slinking in on Rabbit Hash’s paw-litical scene.” As long-time readers may recall from my posts of 7/27/17 and earlier, Rabbit Hash is a small canine-run KY town on the banks of the Ohio River, not far from…

Now It seems that the small village of Omena, Michigan, has elected as mayor a feline named Sweet Tart (not to mention two dogs and a goat elected to lesser offices), and has received no small amount of pub in the bargain:

Friends, I’m not saying that the Kentucky town is trying to hog all the attention for having an animal mayor, but one gets the impression that Rabbit Hash feels Omena is horning in on their territory. Bobbi Kayser, ex-exec secretary and campaign manager to the former mayor, border collie Lucy Lou (who ran on the slogan “The Bitch You Can Count On”), admitted as much in the news article. “It all started here in Rabbit Hash–a tradition that Rabbit Hash could claim as its own. Now, we can’t. I’m a bit resentful. I’ve heard that in addition to the cat in Michigan, down south there is a donkey serving as mayor.”

Personally, I have a bigger problem with the jackass serving in the oval office, who yesterday referred to former White House counsel John Dean as a “rat” for his part in exposing Watergate. Unlike the Lyin’ King, Sweet Tart wasn’t born on Easy Street — as a kitten, she was found abandoned and half-starved alongside a trail near Omena in 2009. So I say “Lighten Up, Rabbit Hash” and “Good for Sweet Tart!” Just because people get jealous and fight like cats and dogs, doesn’t mean animals should lower themselves to human standards.

 

AT LAST, A CANDIDATE WHO GIVES US PAWS

Over the river and through the woods, not far downstream from where I live, to the Ohio River metropolis of Rabbit Hash, Kentucky, we go. As its 315 hutch dwellers know, Rabbit Hash’s administration has been going to the dogs since 1998, when a mutt named Goofy Bourneman was elected mayor. Sadly, His Honor the mayor was euthanized in 2004, which for some reason failed to start a national trend in political justice. Goofy was  succeeded by another dog,  Junior, who died in 2008, following which the current mayor, a border collie named Lucy Lou, was elected. For you skeptics out there, or those who have been asleep for the past 17 years, these events have been well documented:

All of which brings us, litter-ly, to September 5, 2015, because on this day, the Mayor of Rabbit Hash, KY, Lucy Lou, announced that SHE IS RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT of these United States(?) of America. What with the faltering campaign of Hillary Clinton threatening to neuter her chances of becoming the first female President, the candidacy of Lucy Lou should be welcome news to all who feel it’s time to elect a real bitch (as opposed to the sons o’ bitches running for the GOP). After all, Lucy Lou ran circles around her 2008 mayoral competitors: nine other dogs, a cat, an opossum, a jackass and a human (presumably the latter two weren’t one and the same), so she’s a proven winner.

Meanwhile, for those whose interests run more along less political lines, I close with this: