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  • mistermuse 10:46 am on January 8, 2019 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, , , , political humor,   

    I LOVE IT!!! 

    Have you seen this “scandalous” video? (It may take a few seconds to appear):

    As they used to say
    back in the day,
    What is this world coming to….anyway?

    WELL! All I can say is….

    “Anyway” is here and now, baby.

    You go, girl!

    Get used to it, Troglodytes!

    Get a life, Pruneface (Mitch) McConnell!

    Up yours, Donald Trump!

     

     
  • mistermuse 10:33 am on October 29, 2014 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , , Harold Macmillan, , political humor, , , ,   

    POLITICS – THE WORLD’S FUNNIEST PROFESSION 

    With Congress, every time they make a joke it’s a law. And every time they make a law, it’s a joke. -Will Rogers

    Mistermuse recently asked himself Why, if he likes jokes so much, he¬†can’t stand¬†politicians. After all, if it weren’t for politicians and the like, he would have to come up with all-original material for his posts instead of incorporating the likes of the above quote.

    So mistermuse tells himself it’s like taking¬†the old Christian admonition to “hate the sin but love the sinner” and (as an ex-Christian in good standing) converting it:¬†abhor the politicial sinners¬†but adore the political sins. And what better time to put that into practice than the final¬†days of interminable political ads¬†before the merciful¬†mid-terminal elections….starting with a sobering¬†example of political confession:

    It must have happened during one of my drunken stupors. –Rob Ford (former mayor of Toronto)¬†when a video of him smoking crack cocaine was¬†uncovered by police months¬†after he repeatedly¬†denied its existence.

    America is the only country where you can go on the air and kid politicians, and where politicians go on the air and kid the people. -Groucho Marx

    The more you observe politics, the more you’ve got to admit that each party is worse than the other. –Will Rogers

    What’s the use of a third party when the country doesn’t know what to do with the two parties it has now? -Evan Esar

    I will make a bargain with the Republicans: if they will stop telling lies about Democrats, we will stop telling the truth about them. –Adlai Stevenson

    I have never found in a long experience in politics that criticism is ever inhibited by ignorance. –Harold Macmillan

    To err is human, to blame it on the other party is politics. -S. Omar Barker

    Congress is really made up of children that never grow up. -Will Rogers

    Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise than Christianity has made them good. -H. L. Mencken

    And on that cautionary note, we¬†note that next Tuesday is election day — vote for the lesser of two devils, even if you think it only encourages them.

     

     

     
    • arekhill1 1:11 pm on October 29, 2014 Permalink | Reply

      “I belong to no organized political party. I’m a Democrat.” I think it was Will Rogers way back when, but nowadays you could say the same about the Republicans.

      Like

    • mistermuse 1:44 pm on October 29, 2014 Permalink | Reply

      Same principle with the Mencken quote – nowadays you could say the same for a number of religions, not only Christianity (yes, I know many religions do good things, but religion and doing good things don’t depend on one another).

      Like

  • mistermuse 10:43 am on April 17, 2014 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , , Devil's Dictionary, George Stephanopolous, , political humor, , ,   

    POL POTLUCK 

     

    April 17 being both¬†NATIONAL CHEESEBALL DAY¬†and BLAH, BLAH, BLAH DAY, my thoughts naturally turn to politics and politicians as subject matter for today’s post.¬†Of course,¬†many politicians are unintentional comedians, so there is a verbal¬†plethora of political humor to choose from — too much, in fact, to arrange here¬†in any coherent fashion in¬†one day¬†(not that I would¬†care¬†to do so anyway,¬†had I¬†the election of a plethora of days). I’ll start with¬†an entree — The¬†Devil’s Dictionary definition of politics¬†— followed by a potluck buffet¬†of jokes, quotes, axioms,¬†etc.¬†in no pontifical order:

    Politics, n.¬† A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles.¬† –Ambrose Bierce

    Four surgeons are taking a coffee break and discussing their profession. The first says, “I think accountants are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is numbered.”
    The second says, “I think librarians are the easiest. You open them up and everything is in alphabetical order.”
    The third says, “I like to operate on electricians. You open them up and everything inside is color-coded.”
    The fourth says, “I like to operate on politicians. They’re heartless, mindless, spineless, and their heads and their asses are interchangeable.”

    We’ll let the other countries of the world be the peacekeepers and the great country called America be the pacemakers.¬† –George W. Bush

    “I have had great financial sex.”¬† –Presidential candidate Ross Perot (intending to say “financial success“)

    Congress is strange: a man gets up to speak and says nothing; nobody listens, and then everybody disagrees.¬† –Evan Esar

    “I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have is that I didn’t study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people.”¬† –Dan Quayle, former Vice President

    The highest function of conservatism is to keep what progressiveness has accomplished.¬† –R. H. Fulton

    “The American peole’s expectations are that we will fail. Our mission is to exceed their expectations.”¬† –George W. Bush

    The chief defect of a democracy is that only the political party out of office knows how to run the government.¬† –Evan Esar

    “The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.”¬† –George Stephanopolous, former aide to Bill Clinton

    I have never found in a long experience in politics that criticism is ever inhibited by ignorance.¬† –Harold Macmillan¬†

    “This is a great day for France!”¬† –Richard Nixon (while attending President DeGaulle’s funeral)

    Etc., etc., etc….

     

     

     
    • arekhill1 10:58 am on April 17, 2014 Permalink | Reply

      I thought financial sex was screwing people out of their money. Happy Cheeseball Day!

      Like

    • mistermuse 12:27 pm on April 17, 2014 Permalink | Reply

      I think you’re right on the money. By the way, today is also National High Five Day, a day when politicians celebrate their biggest scores of the past year in that regard.

      Like

    • Don Frankel 3:12 am on April 18, 2014 Permalink | Reply

      No matter what they do or what they say, they are spending your money. In all fairness and why should we be fair, but in all fairness if you speak in public enough you’ll say some stupid things. Of course some people make a career of it. Sorry to pick on Dick Nixon, and he said we wouldn’t have him to kick around anymore, but he said one of my favorites. He was President and sex was the issue of the day and in the middle of some speech he said. “When it comes to the question of sex, no one can stand pat.” Of course he was married to Pat Nixon. Even he laughed at that.

      Like

    • mistermuse 6:19 am on April 18, 2014 Permalink | Reply

      Good point, Don. Some of the “stupid things” said by politicians are the spoken equivalent of written typos — funny but entirely excusable (like what Dick Nixon said about standing pat, which I hadn’t heard before).

      On the other hand, some guys’ verbal screwups (and it’s usually guys, notwithstanding the Sarah Palins of the world) are so ingrained and such a window into their real self that you have to question their capability for the office they hold or seek. To me, the poster child for this is former VP Dan Quayle, who I shudder to think what this country would’ve endured if he had become President. No doubt many right-wingers feel the same about current VP Joe Biden, but his malapropisms strike me as being of the “typo” type, not of being gravitas-and-insight challenged (if I’m not being too unkind).

      Like

  • mistermuse 4:27 pm on March 26, 2014 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , Damn the torpedoes, , , March 26, political humor, Prince Jonah Kuhio Kalanianaole,   

    MARCH 26 IS MAKE UP YOUR OWN HOLIDAY DAY 

    One would think it’s easy to make up your own holiday. How hard can¬†it be, given the¬†hundreds of made-up holidays continually¬†added to the archives over the years¬†by the compilers of¬†such things ….¬†not to mention the official holidays made up by Congress and state legislatures.

    March 26, for example, is also¬†Prince Jonah Kuhio Kalanianaole Day, a holiday in Hawaii honoring the territorial delegate who introduced a bill in 1919 requesting that Hawaii be admitted into the union as a full-fledged state — a¬†petition which, for the information of those who claim Congress never gets anything done, was ratified into¬†reality¬†a mere¬†40 years later (and only¬†37 years after the good Prince said “Aloha” to this world). But I, like Congress, digress.

    My point is that, with so many holidays¬†heretofore¬†(I hear two to four) taking up every day of the year, it’s NOT all that easy to come up with a new¬†original holiday. A sampling of this week’s holidays, for instance, will demonstrate: March 24, National Chocolate Covered Raisin Day; March 25, Maryland Day, Pecan Day and Waffle Day; March 27, National “Joe” Day; March 28, Something on a Stick Day;¬†March 29, Smoke and Mirrors Day.

    Thus, one may think one is the first to come up with a new holiday, but how can one be certain? One could examine every day of the year on every list and calendar known to man¬†…. or one could proclaim Damn the Torpedoes Day, and full speed ahead. I say¬†DAMN THE TORPEDOES!

    So feel free to send me your holiday nomination (accompanied by a voluntary donation). My holiday choice is obvious: my birthday. I would decree October 18 MISTERMUSE DAY. All businesses and institutions would get the day off except Congress, which must spend the day debating whether October 18th is October 18th. Any attempt to refer the matter to committee for further study would be blocked by my congressman, Phil A. Buster (if he wants to continue getting my $2 campaign contributions).

    The winning entry will chosen by an unbiased panel of distinguished friends and family,  and become official on October 18.

     
    • Don Frankel 5:02 pm on March 26, 2014 Permalink | Reply

      Excellent idea Muse and I second the nomination of Mistermuse Day. But no comment to this article would be complete without the recommendation of a holiday. So I propose for one and all DAMN THE TYPO’S FULL SPEED AHEAD DAY. The day of the year will be April 26 in accordance with the Baptism day of William Shakespeare. It seems we don’t know his actual birthday. Now the Bard did not live in a time where there were typewriters, computers or typo’s but then there wasn’t any regulated use of grammar or spelling either. And the idea of this holiday is that all writers not get hung up or upset of an occasional miss spelling or mistake but keep their eyes on the prize.

      If we have some opposition to using the Bard’s day, well we could use Anonymous’s birthday in which case you pick whatever day you want and just tell your boss after you didn’t show up.

      Like

    • mistermuse 7:28 pm on March 26, 2014 Permalink | Reply

      I likewise second your nomination, Don – and I don’t even use a spell checker program (which I have had occasion to regret). Nonetheless, DAMN THE TYPOS, FULL SPEED AHEAD!

      Like

    • arekhill1 11:09 pm on March 26, 2014 Permalink | Reply

      THE PRO FOOTBALL EQUINOX. Approximately halfway between the Super Bowl and the beginning of the new season in September, this second Monday in June is celebrated in stadium parking lots all over the land. Uncomfortable cheese hats, brightly painted faces and pointless fistfights between opposing fans are the order of the day, along with liquor in cleverly concealable flasks and beer chugged as if rushing to the gates for the opening kickoff. By four o’clock, all celebrants have achieved that numb, hollow, pre-hungover feeling that comes with watching one’s team blow a last-second field goal to lose the game, and everyone goes home resigned to watching baseball until September.

      Like

      • mistermuse 7:05 am on March 27, 2014 Permalink | Reply

        I hadn’t heard of that particular celebration, Ricardo, but it sounds like an excellent event to have a beer (disguised as root beer) and football helmet (for weenies’ head protection) concession stand.

        Like

  • mistermuse 1:46 pm on February 7, 2014 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , certified, charlatans, hucksters, political humor, scoundrels   

    CERTIFIED LETTERS 

    Some might say that the last thing the world needs is another set of letters following a person’s name indicating his or her expertise in a given area. But they proliferate anyway. –J. Brendan Ryan

    The above quotation is from a recent newspaper¬†article concerning the proliferating use¬†“of letters¬†following a person’s name” in order to sound impressive, without the years of study, training and experience of those who have¬†earned their credentials, such as John Figurehead, CPA (Certified Public Accountant), and Susie Moneybags, CFA (Certified Financial Planner). According to the¬†article,¬†many¬†unearned letter¬†designations are procured for little more than payment of a fee,¬†so¬†be wary of¬†acronyms which may¬†look impressive, but¬†may be misleading (if not bogus).

    In the¬†public interest, The Observation Post’s¬†highly-qualified proprietor, mistermuse, COP (Certified Observation Post-man), has investigated¬†this¬†crime against¬†humility¬†and has compiled a list of suspect entities in order to protect¬†you, valued reader, from being taken in by those who want¬†you to fatten their bank accounts or suscribe to their ideology or cause. Here¬†is a sampling of said¬†suspicious entities; as¬†for each of¬†their acronyms, you do the math — I mean, the letters:

    Licensed Improving Speech Pathologist

    Certified Reactionary Against Progress

    Authorized Shitting Specialist

    Accredited-Hater Of Liberal Ethics

    Bachelor Of Official Broad-based Studies

    Doctor Of Religious Kookism (or of Religious Kosherism, whichever way your karma krumbles)

    Armed with the above information, you are now uniquely¬†prepared to avoid being¬†hoodwinked by Charlatans, Hucksters And Other Scoundrels. Aren’t you glad you’re a TOP reader?

     
    • arekhill1 2:58 pm on February 7, 2014 Permalink | Reply

      As a Self-appointed Mean-spirited Assessor of Ridiculous Theories And Self-serving Speculation, I couldn’t agree with you more.

      Like

    • mistermuse 5:52 pm on February 7, 2014 Permalink | Reply

      Many thanks, Ricardo. I must remember to agree with you sometime.

      Like

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