Tagged: Mel Brooks Toggle Comment Threads | Keyboard Shortcuts

  • mistermuse 12:05 am on July 27, 2018 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , , , , Mel Brooks, misfortune, , , , ,   

    WHEEL OF MISFORTUNE 

    When misfortune comes, take it like a man–blame it on your wife. –Evan Esar

    • * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

    Many of us suffer an unanticipated misfortune at some point in our lives. It could be the missed fortune of being left out of the will of a rich cousin you loved like a brother (until the ungrateful s.o.b. left every cent he had to his actual brother)….or it could be distress under duress, like your mistress taking egress, leaving you in a mess, no less, with your wife. Or, if you are a wife, perhaps you got wind of, not only the mistress on the side, but the ‘steady at the ready’ and the ‘wench on the bench’ (otherwise known as having too many loins in the fire). Yes, friends, misfortune is an ill wind which blows no good…

    Now, far be it from mistermuse to blame his misfortunes on his wife. As a matter of tact, if it weren’t for my wife, I don’t know what I would do (or is it, wouldn’t do?). Yes, friends, mistermuse has been a sappily married man for 49 years, 10 months, and 13 days now, and I can honestly say it doesn’t seem like a day over 49 years, 10 months, and 12 days.

    That said, game on. Let’s see what other men have had to say on the subject:

    Wives are people who feel that they don’t dance enough. –Groucho Marx

    How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who treats her as if she were a perfectly natural being? –Oscar Wilde

    If Presidents can’t do it to their wives, they do it to their countries. –Mel Brooks

    No matter how happily married a woman may be, it always pleases her to discover that there is a nice man who wishes she were not. –H. L. Mencken

    My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you’ll be happy; if not, you’ll become a philosopher. –Socrates

    Some wives are like fishermen: they think the best ones got away. –Evan Esar

    I’ve had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn’t. –Patrick Murray

    A man placed an ad in the classifieds: “Wife wanted.” Next day he received over a hundred replies: “You can have mine.” –Anonymous

    NOTE: The last quote is absolutely NOT mine!

     
    • Paul Sunstone 3:16 am on July 27, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      So far a I know there are at least three or four major religions that each claim their own god created the institution of marriage — and everyone of them say they did it to protect the women, which I find hilarious.

      Liked by 3 people

    • calmkate 4:31 am on July 27, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      lol hilarious .. big 50 celebration coming up, well done both of you!

      Liked by 1 person

    • masercot 5:33 am on July 27, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      Women are the major cause of mental illness in men…

      Liked by 1 person

    • Lisa R. Palmer 8:36 am on July 27, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      Congrats on making it work!! That is quite an accomplishment for both of you…

      I laughed at almost all of these, being an ex-wife, except one, which I simply didn’t understand. Goes to show that humor targets certain audiences (probably based on common experiences…?).

      What the heck was Oscar Wilde trying to say here, and where is the “funny”? Lol!

      “How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who treats her as if she were a perfectly natural being?” –Oscar Wilde

      P.S. No need to actually explain; it only makes things worse. If a joke needs lengthy rationale, then it already failed. But since I’m not the intended audience, no harm done. Just thought I’d share my ignorance, as it might make it funnier to others. 😀

      Liked by 2 people

      • mistermuse 9:28 am on July 27, 2018 Permalink | Reply

        No problem, Lisa–I’ve found from long experience that explanations only get me into longer no-win situations. That’s why “Yes, dear” is almost always the better part of valor….and, as you can tell, I’ve become very well trained in almost 50 years. 🙂

        Liked by 2 people

    • Carmen 8:48 am on July 27, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      Here’s the one I like, and which was stuck on our fridge for years –
      “The best thing a father can do for his children is love their mother”.

      Almost 50 years! Wow! We’re 9 years behind you, mister muse, which reminds me of another statement I read when I first got married – and it has stuck in my head because of its truth (well, in our case anyway!) –
      “Marriage is a contest of wills.” 🙂

      Congratulations and in my opinion, you brought the very best trait to the union – a kick-ass sense of humour!

      Liked by 2 people

      • mistermuse 9:32 am on July 27, 2018 Permalink | Reply

        Thank you, Carmen. Unfortunately, the ass I’d most like to kick is out of reach (not my wife–Donald Trump)! 🙂

        P.S. I like your “statements.”

        Liked by 1 person

    • Carmen 10:17 am on July 27, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      A friend of ours once told a young fellow who was getting married that there were only two responses he needed to know – “Yes, dear” and “That outfit looks lovely on you!” 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

    • arekhill1 1:26 pm on July 27, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      Congrats to you and Senora Muse on your upcoming 50th.

      Liked by 1 person

    • inesephoto 1:52 pm on July 28, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      Eternal source of jokes 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    • Don Frankel 2:13 pm on July 29, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      Here’s some advice on the subject that I didn’t take. But I was happy anyway.

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 7:17 pm on July 29, 2018 Permalink | Reply

        Good song, Don. I like toe-tappers which don’t lead to my wife putting her foot down.

        Like

    • floatinggold 10:40 pm on July 30, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      Almost 50 years? That’s impressive. How do people manage to put up with ANYONE for so long?

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 11:50 pm on July 30, 2018 Permalink | Reply

        First, you have to live long enough. Second, so does your wife. Third, it helps to have a sense of humor. Fourth, if your wife has a strong arm throwing pots, pans and dishes, it helps to have good reflexes. Fifth, when all else fails, either pray for a miracle that she’ll see things your way, or say “Yes, dear.” Or both.

        Liked by 1 person

    • MikeTX 10:49 am on August 1, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      Congrats on the half a century of marital bliss Muse.

      I guess you have no wench on the bench; a fact which also keeps a foot from being put down…on your throat. Good luck on your next half-century!

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 8:07 pm on August 7, 2018 Permalink | Reply

        Thanks, Mike. Sorry about the delayed reply — I just noticed that your comment was awaiting approval.

        Like

    • America On Coffee 1:43 pm on August 7, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      Love this!!

      Liked by 1 person

  • mistermuse 12:00 am on April 5, 2017 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , , , , , , Mel Brooks, , , Tina Fey, Virginia Woolf, ,   

    FOR YOU, MORE HUMOR 

    N’yuk-n’yuk-n’yuk! –Curly Howard, The Three Stooges

    April being NATIONAL HUMOR MONTH, I thought I’d humor you with humor-us woids of wisdom from some of my favorite humor-ists. I’d have begun with a self-sample, but thought it best to start on a higher plane — and who in comedic history soared higher than Curly when it comes to debonair comedy? So it is written that I must take second place in my own post (third, if you count comedienne Joan Rivers’ intro to my poem):

    THE DIVINE COMEDY CLUB

    Humor is God’s gift to all of us.
    –Joan Rivers

    Thank God for funny
    because seriously
    we could be
    dying out there.

    Being a comedian is a lonely occupation; you stand on the stage talking to yourself, being overheard by audiences. –Fred Allen

    Humor is merely tragedy standing on its head with its pants torn. –Irvin S. Cobb

    Humor is just another defense against the universe. –Mel Brooks

    When humor works, it works because it’s clarifying what people already feel. It has to come from someplace real. –Tina Fey

    Humor is the first of the gifts to perish in a foreign tongue. –Virginia Woolf

    Start every day off with a smile and get it over with. –W. C. Fields

    The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow; there is no humor in Heaven. –Mark Twain

    Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is. –Francis Bacon

    I don’t want to run for office; there’s already too many comedians in Washington. –Will Rogers

    Without a sense of humor, I don’t know how people make it. –Marlo Thomas

    • * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

    We close on an upbeat note from this laughing-at-life jazz great whose birthday is April 7:

     

     
    • Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, MCC, SCAC 12:13 am on April 5, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      I love Will Rogers – and his is my fav among the quotes above. I clicked here expecting funnies, but finding the quotes was even better. Thanks for sharing.
      xx,
      mgh
      (Madelyn Griffith-Haynie – ADDandSoMuchMORE dot com)
      ADD Coach Training Field founder; ADD Coaching co-founder
      “It takes a village to transform a world!”

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 7:42 am on April 5, 2017 Permalink | Reply

        Thanks for commenting, Madelyn. When searching for good quotes, it usually pays to look in Mr. Rogers’ neighborhood.

        Liked by 1 person

    • Mél@nie 3:22 am on April 5, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      MERCI, Mr Muse: you’ve made my mornin’… 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

    • linnetmoss 7:05 am on April 5, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      If there is no humor in heaven, I hope at least there is wit…

      Liked by 3 people

    • Garfield Hug 9:11 am on April 5, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      👍👍👍

      Liked by 1 person

    • arekhill1 11:15 am on April 5, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      As a dabbler in the humor field for some years now, Sr. Muse, the mystery of it to me is how nobody laughs at the same jokes. Some people love clever puns, others refuse to laugh unless they are watching an old lady being pushed down the stairs.

      Liked by 2 people

    • D. Wallace Peach 11:40 am on April 5, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      Will Rogers always cracks me up. The Twain one is pretty evocative too. Thanks for the smiles. 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

    • mistermuse 1:31 pm on April 5, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      Some of the quotes (like Twain’s) aren’t exactly humorous, but are just as pungent (such as Bacon’s). Needless to say (so why am I saying it?), I like them all. 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

    • Don Frankel 4:30 pm on April 5, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      “Look at yourself if you had a sense of humor..”

      Liked by 2 people

      • mistermuse 5:23 pm on April 5, 2017 Permalink | Reply

        Thanks for the clip, Don. Until I checked, I didn’t realize (or had forgotten) that this is a Rodgers & Hart song. In all honesty, though, Billie sounds to me like she was past her prime when she sang this. Too bad she didn’t record it when R & H wrote it back in 1937.

        Liked by 1 person

    • Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, MCC, SCAC 9:30 pm on April 8, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      FINALLY was home long enough to insert a link here from the Friday Funnies about writers.
      xx,
      mgh

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 10:59 pm on April 8, 2017 Permalink | Reply

        Thanks for the Friday Funnies link, Madelyn. I hope to get the work week off to a funny Monday start with my next post.

        Liked by 1 person

        • Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, MCC, SCAC 11:30 pm on April 8, 2017 Permalink

          I shall look forward to it – and you are most welcome for the link. Next time, drop it with your comment and I’ll move it up – meanwhile it will be there for anybody wanting a bit more humorous inspiration.
          xx,
          mgh

          Liked by 1 person

    • BroadBlogs 12:08 am on April 9, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      These are some insightful quotes on humor.

      Lately I’ve been looking at the political humor of Saturday Night Live and some of the other shows and thinking of them as court fools of old who spoke truth to power.

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 6:17 am on April 9, 2017 Permalink | Reply

        Nowadays we might think of them as speaking truth to TOWER (Trump Tower). 😦

        Like

    • Lavinia Ross 12:08 pm on April 9, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      That is a great Billie Holiday song!

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 2:43 pm on April 9, 2017 Permalink | Reply

        Agreed! Billie recorded that song (LAUGHING AT LIFE) June 1940, accompanied by such jazz greats as Teddy Wilson on piano and Lester Young on tenor sax.

        Liked by 1 person

  • mistermuse 12:01 am on April 15, 2016 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , commercialization, , , Mel Brooks, Napoleon Bonaparte, , , , , , , ,   

    HUMOR INCORPORATED 

    Humor must both teach and preach if it would live forever; by forever, I mean 30 years.
    –Mark Twain

    If Webster’s definition of humor as the “quality of imagination quick to perceive the ludicrous or express itself in an amusing way” is on the mark, Twain underestimated the staying power of his humor by nigh onto 100 years (and counting). But “staying” is just one of humor’s possible powers, and because (as Lord Acton famously observed) power tends to corrupt, humor cannot absolutely avoid Acton’s axiom.

    My musing on this subject is occasioned by April being National Humor Month — so proclaimed in 1976 by Larry Wilde, Founder/Director of The Carmel Institute of Humor: http://www.larrywilde.com/

    As you might expect, The Carmel Institute of Humor is not without serious competition. A similar entity I’ve come across is The Humor Project, Inc., founded by Joel Goodman in 1977 “as the first organization in the world to focus full-time on the positive power of humor” — a claim that suggests a merger of Norman Vincent Peale’s “The Power of Positive Thinking” with funny business. And, from such appealing funny businesses as Goodman’s, have big businesses grown (judging by their “power” promotions): https://www.humorproject.com/

    Now, far be it from me to regard the corporatizing of humor as a phony business — hey, there are worse things to make of humor than a commodity, and worse ways to earn a buck than to commercialize the process. But, purist that I am, I see making humor in the same light as making love: much to be preferred on a human level than as an industry (the virtues of consumer capitalism notwithstanding). Nonetheless, I’m not so doctrinaire as to deny either humor or sex to potential customers when free(?) enterprise comes a-courting.

    Unlike Larry Wilde and Joel Goodman, mistermuse does not have a Speaker’s Bureau, a three-day Annual Conference (discounted fee for early registration), a five-point humor program, seminars or workshops. But mistermuse does offer an every-five-days discourse on subjects of interest (his, if not yours) — usually with tongue in cheek, and never with hat in hand. Dis course today concludes with ten humorous quotes, which come with a funny-back guarantee if he doesn’t think they’re priceless:

    Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.Oscar Wilde (not to be confused with Larry – or Curly or Moe, for that matter)
    Conference: a meeting held to decide when the next meeting will take place. –Evan Esar
    You can’t study comedy; it’s within you. –Don Rickles (the Donald Trump of insult-comics)
    Start every day off with a smile and get it over with. –W.C. Fields
    Everything is funny, as long as it’s happening to somebody else. –Will Rogers
    Culture is roughly anything we do and monkeys don’t. –Lord Raglan
    In politics, an absurdity is not a handicap. –Napoleon Bonesapart (I’ve been waiting a long time for the opportunity to butcher that name)
    Politicians do more funny things naturally than I can think of doing purposely. –Will Rogers
    Humor is just another defense against the universe. –Mel Brooks
    Wit – the salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out. –Ambrose Bierce

    Over, and out.

     

     
    • Cynthia Jobin 9:52 am on April 15, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Why do some people have to ruin the best things in life by turning them into a National Month or an institution/organization of some sort? I thoroughly enjoyed this post, and being partial to the more sardonic (sarcastic? satirical?) edges of humor, was glad to see some of my favorites featured…Oscar Wilde, W.C. Fields, Ambrose Bierce, and of course, Mark Twain.
      On the distaff side, one of my favorites is Dorothy Parker. I offer this bon mot of hers when she was hanging out with her fellow wits challenging each other to compose a funny sentence using the word “horticulture”….Parker’s contribution was: “You can lead a horticulture but you can’t make her think.”

      Liked by 2 people

    • mistermuse 10:28 am on April 15, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      I love Dorothy Parker’s wit and probably should have included a Parker quote, but I’d set myself a limit of ten and liked the ten I’d chosen (plus, I think I already used that great quote before, though it certainly would’ve fit well here, and I thank you for offering it).

      To me, the quote that surprised me the most (in that I didn’t expect such profundity from the likes of Mel Brooks – what’s more, in so few words) was his “Humor is just another defense against the universe.”

      Liked by 2 people

    • D. Wallace Peach 11:03 am on April 15, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      I like the Rickles quote. Well, I like all of them, but that one has always struck me as true. I would love to be funny, but just don’t have the gene. Fortunately, we don’t have to be funny ourselves to enjoy good wit and a belly laugh 😀

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 12:13 pm on April 15, 2016 Permalink | Reply

        Fat people take heart – the bigger the belly, the more capacity to laugh! No wonder Santa Claus is so jolly! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

    • arekhill1 11:09 am on April 15, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Humor is what separates humans from animals. That, and making tools. And not being afraid of vacuum cleaners.

      Like

      • mistermuse 12:21 pm on April 15, 2016 Permalink | Reply

        Such separation is fortunate indeed, otherwise animals would be laughing themselves silly at what fools we humans be.

        Like

    • Garfield Hug 11:26 am on April 15, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Great share 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse 12:23 pm on April 15, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Share and share a like, I always say. 🙂

      Like

    • Michaeline Montezinos 8:42 pm on April 15, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      One good belly laugh extends human life by one year ( My daughter the nurse .)

      Liked by 1 person

    • Todd Duffey Writes on Things 11:21 am on April 16, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Why do witticisms always come from people at least two generations before ours? Those people were way ahead of their time…

      Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse 2:06 pm on April 16, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      As one of those people born more than two generations before this one, I thank you for the tribute. 🙂 Seriously, though, I think there still are such people – they just don’t get the recognition they did in the days before mass instant gratification “re-conditioned” us and became the norm. Wit demands at least a bit of reflection. Who does that anymore?

      Like

    • Don Frankel 11:30 am on April 17, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      “Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.” Mark Twain. My hero.

      Like

    • mistermuse 6:30 pm on April 17, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Don, I would stand corrected if I didn’t happen to agree (well, except for politicians – they’ve been withstanding the assault of laughter since most of them evolved from baboons).

      Like

    • Don Frankel 7:03 am on April 18, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      No Muse you’re right. Laughing at elected officials is actually a healthy sign of a society and poking fun is a good thing too. But when they are cooked and ushered off the stage laughter is the last thing they hear. Think Anthony Weiner here and Nixon too.

      Like

    • mistermuse 7:42 am on April 18, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Good point, Don. We in the West take our freedom to laugh at politicians for granted. Any North Korean who dared so much as think about laughing at President Kim Jung-un wouldn’t live to think again.

      Like

  • mistermuse 12:00 am on November 10, 2015 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: cardinals, , , Mel Brooks, Moses, , , , sexual attraction, ten, Ten Commandments, Tender Is The Night   

    TEN 

    Ten: The cardinal number equal to 9 plus 1. –Webster’s New College Dictionary

    Well, I must say Webster’s definition of ten seems simple enough. Obviously, if you have nine cardinals and add one, you should end up with ten cardinals….unless you left the cage door open when you went to get one more, in which case, an empty birdcage plus one cardinal equal one cardinal plus an empty birdcage, which is what you deserve, because you’re not supposed to cage wild birds. It’s a cardinal sin.

    Of course, everyone is susceptible to cardinal sin except Catholic cardinals, who rose from their flock to become cardinals by attending the College of Cardinals….after having been grounded for years in Catholic tenets and the Ten Commandments, which you may be surprised to learn were originally Fifteen Commandments — before this happened:

    Why all this bird seed about the number ten, you ask….you are asking, aren’t you? Again, the answer is simple: this is the tenth day of the tenth month of November, which used to be the eleventh month until I — yes, I dropped one. Hey, if Moses can drop five commandments, what’s the big deal if one of the Muses drops one lousy month? Mistermuse says good riddance — who needs a month like February anyway?

    All of which leads us to the day’s feature presentation, dedicated to all you lovebirds out there:

    TEN, DEAR, IS THE NIGHT

    Sexual ‘traction is
    a driving force —
    it leads
    down the road
    to intercourse….

    better, of course,
    if intimate when
    our love
    lines seem like
    a perfect ten.

     

     

     
    • ladysighs 6:45 am on November 10, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Glad you only post every five days or so. Gives me time to recover from laughing. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 8:08 am on November 10, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        I wish you could’ve had as speedy a recovery from what ailed you several months ago as I’m sure you’ll have from laughing! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

        • ladysighs 9:20 am on November 10, 2015 Permalink

          Thank you for being observant. Posting in WP, forums, FB etc etc plus reality, reminds me of the old show I Led Three Lives. Things get mixed up and confused and sometimes traumatic. Does take time to recover. 🙂

          Liked by 1 person

      • Michaeline Montezinos 2:39 am on November 11, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        In my unsolicitated opinion, ladysighs has connected with so many websites, etc, that she sounds like she needs a vacation. Or like me sometimes when I become overwhelmed and try to do too much. I would like to invite her over to my home for a nice weekend break. Of course you have to pay your own air fair but meals and laughter and trips to see dolphins and quiet moments by the beautiful Tampa Bay are provided. Oh! I forgot to mention I am supposed to be “and I now live in St. Petersburg, Florida.retired”

        Like

    • Midwestern Plant Girl 8:55 am on November 10, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      I agree. February has to go. .. and take your weather too!

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 11:46 am on November 10, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        I think that, by the end of January, most of us in the northern half of the Northern Hemisphere have had it with winter, so I’m all for just skipping right to the first of March. 😦

        Liked by 1 person

      • Michaeline Montezinos 2:32 am on November 11, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        Leave February alone! It is the one month devoted to lovers. Have you forgotten Valentine’s Day? My husband and I always observe this day no matter the weather. You are from the Midwest? I guess I am stronger than you and know how to survive in the cold of Detroit where I was born and raised.

        Liked by 1 person

        • mistermuse 8:42 am on November 11, 2015 Permalink

          Judging by what the website CATHOLIC ONLINE has to say about St. Valentine and Valentine’s Day, the day could just as easily be ‘celebrated’ in the month of Fictionary:
          “In 1969, the Roman Catholic Church removed St. Valentine from the General Roman Calendar, because so little is known about him. However, the Church still recognizes him as a saint, listing him in the February 14 spot of Roman Martyrolgy.”
          “The legends attributed to the mysterious saint are as inconsistent as the actual identification of the man.”
          The Church holds that he was martyred on Feb. 14, 269, however (again quoting CATHOLIC ONLINE), “other tales of St. Valentine’s life claim he was executed in the year 270, 273 or 280.” Such is the stuff that romantic dreams are made of!

          As for surviving in the Midwest cold, I’m still here after 75+ years — where did you say you’re writing from? 🙂 (Sorry, I couldn’t resist – I really don’t begrudge you your retiring to Florida!)

          Like

    • arekhill1 9:09 am on November 10, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Never have I seen a work of literature that combined insights into religion, sex, mathematics and ornithology into such an admirably few pithy paragraphs. Congratulations, Sr. Muse.

      Like

      • mistermuse 11:54 am on November 10, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        Muchas gracias, Ricardo. There’s no money in such work, but my reward shall be great in heaven?

        Like

        • Michaeline Montezinos 2:28 am on November 11, 2015 Permalink

          Why this obsession with the number 10? It is my mother’s birthday and my father’s death day which I choose to ignore.. I know a Catholic who has a memory like an elephant. She knows every birthday and the dates of each death day in all her family and her husband’s too, Unfortunately she chose or had six children, good little catholic that she was. How she accomplished this makes me wonder because she worked and her husband worked at three different jobs. Passing like ships in the night,she claims. Yet there must have been some connection for all those kids. Unless her belief in the Virgin Mary some how rubbed off on her. All I can say we live one day/night at a time and who can foresee what number will pop up from the bingo wheel? Nice poem, mistermuse and I have discovered that the shorter the poem the better the audience. Not every one can multiply by 12 but most know what 1 + 1 equals.

          Like

      • Michaeline Montezinos 2:44 am on November 11, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        I know a brown nose when I see their uncompromising flattery. What do you expect of mistermuse? And you must tneed som compliments yourself since you had to use the dictionary to come up with that vocabulary, arekhill 1. Correct me if I am wrong. I just will say I liked his poem. Amen, Sir Richard the Knight of Satire.

        Like

    • mistermuse 8:54 am on November 11, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Thanks, Michaeline, for the kind words about my poem, and thanks to F. Scott Fitzgerald for inspiring my take on the title of his novel TENDER IS THE NIGHT.

      P.S. Although it may seem self-serving, I think you’re wrong in calling arekhill1’s “uncompromising flattery” “brownnosing.” If I know him (and I think I do), he calls ’em as he sees ’em, and he wouldn’t have said what he said if he didn’t think so.

      Like

    • Mél@nie 6:41 am on November 12, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Monsieur Muse, Sir… you’re really too much!!! 🙂 I’ve already learned “TEN, DEAR, IS THE NIGHT” – by heart=par coeur… ❤ MERCI!!! you've made my day serene and happier… 🙂

      • * *

      @"Catholic tenets and the Ten Commandments" – with due respect, they're just "theory" to me… 😉 for about 2 decades, I've adopted and I've been more into the 10 Commandments of the Native Americans:

      1. The Earth is our Mother, care for Her.
      2. Honor all your relations with your fellows.
      3. Open your heart and soul to the Universal Spirit.
      4. All life is sacred, treat all beings with respect and tolerance.
      5. Take from the Earth what is needed and nothing more.
      6. Do what needs to be done for the good of all.
      7. Speak the truth but only for the good in others.
      8. Follow the rhythm of Nature: rise and retire with the sun.
      9. Take full responsibility for your actions.
      10. Enjoy life’s journey, but leave no tracks; look after the well-being of Mind and Body…

      • * *

      may the Universal Spirit be with you, now and always! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse 7:41 am on November 12, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      May the Universal Spirit be with you as well, beautiful lady….and beautiful, too, are the 10 Commandments of the Native Americans (although #8 seems more than a bit impractical for modern civilization!). 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • Mél@nie 4:45 am on November 13, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        mille merci, Mr Muse! 🙂

        • * *

        yep, you’re right @ n°8… in France, we’d say:”you go to bed at the same time as birds…” 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse 6:23 am on November 14, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      I’m a night owl, myself 🙂

      Like

  • mistermuse 1:10 pm on March 6, 2015 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: ancient history, , History of the World, , Madeline Kahn, Mel Brooks, Neanderthal, Peking man, Piltdown man, prehistoric man, primitive man,   

    ANCESTRY.COME 

    It is good, now and then, to take a refresher course in where we come from, even though our common human roots have been well chronicled in such documentary films as

    You may say that’s ancient history, but, as such famous ill-fated philosophers as Jimmy Hoffa have said, “You can’t know where you’re going until you know where you’ve been.” Awareness of past missteps (both personal and ancestry-wise) may help you avoid future pitfalls; pretending you’re a self-made man or woman is like living in a house without a foundation.  With that in mind, here’s a little quiz to test your knowledge of your prehistoric forebears. Five of the following actually existed and five are fakers:

    1.  Neanderthal man
    2.  Heidelberg man
    3.  Cuppa Java man
    4.  Swanscombe man
    5.  Peking dude
    6.  Gloria Steinheim man
    7.  Rhodesian man
    8.  Solo mon
    9.  Cro-Magnon man
    10. Piltdown man

    Did you find the five pretenders? Ladies, I hope you don’t take this lightly, because if you’re in search of your dream Neanderthal, it’s important that you be able to tell the difference:

    OK, I will test your patience no longer — the imposters are #3, 5, 6, 8 and 10. Some, like Solo mon masquerading as Solo man, are close but no cigaret. Piltdown man was a hoax.

    My name is mistermuse, and though I am ancient, I am not a hoax. Really.

     
    • Don Frankel 4:05 am on March 7, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Great clips. They left the piss boy out of the French Revolution scene but it’s still good to be the King. Well up to a point.

      Muse I had my DNA mapping done. It is very interesting as people think or are told this that and the other thing about their ancestry and it might not be necessarily so. Long story short 2% of my DNA is Neanderthal. So if you ever call me a Neanderthal I’ll just have to say, yes.

      Like

    • mistermuse 7:30 am on March 7, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Don, you’re right – how could they have left PISS BOY out of a “best scenes” compilation? Therefore, I will take matters into my own hands:

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JGfXiIXTpE0

      Like

    • arekhill1 10:46 am on March 7, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Where are Adam, Eve and Fred Flintstone?

      Like

      • Mélanie 1:41 am on March 11, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        … and Wilma Flintstone… 😉 the Flintstones were world wide popular and watched, even in Romania, my native country! 🙂

        Like

    • mistermuse 2:07 pm on March 7, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Ricardo, I think I “covered” Adam & Eve enough in my previous post. As for Fred Flintstone, I’ve never understood the popularity of The Flintones. As far as I’m concerned, he’s no rock star, and about as engrossing as yabba dabba doo-doo.

      Like

    • Mélanie 1:38 am on March 11, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      n° 5+6… LOL of the total LOL… 😀 merci-thanx, you’ve made my mornin’… 🙂 wish u tons of inspiration and good-nite(sic!) in the US… 🙂

      Like

    • mistermuse 6:41 am on March 11, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Mel Brooks said it’s good to be the King (though I noticed he didn’t say the same about the Piss Boy), and I say it’s good to have readers like you. 🙂

      Like

c
Compose new post
j
Next post/Next comment
k
Previous post/Previous comment
r
Reply
e
Edit
o
Show/Hide comments
t
Go to top
l
Go to login
h
Show/Hide help
shift + esc
Cancel