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  • mistermuse 12:00 am on August 30, 2016 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , , gravestones, , , Mary Shelley, , ,   

    STONE COLD DEAD 

    Alas! He is cold, he cannot answer me. –Mary Shelley, author of FRANKENSTEIN

    Because I could not stop for Death — He kindly stopped for me. –Emily Dickinson

    • * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *    grave stone 2Have you given any thought to what you want on your tombstone after you’ve gone to that great big pizzeria in the sky? I wouldn’t wait until the last minute if I were you, because ye know not the day or the hour (Matthew 24:36, or thereabouts), and once ye’re at the pearly gates, it’s too late. Now, it’s possible, before getting the gate, that your spirit may remain a while in the grave to consider what far-out gems of wit you might have come up with — but dream on. Afterthoughts aren’t written in stone….and if you don’t write your own epitaph, others may use the occasion to pick a bone “After you’ve gone.”

    All of which brings me to SWI and its impending death. SWI, the blog for which I wrote many posts up to a few years ago, will bite the dust in November, according to its editor. Two of those remaining posts (published in early 2012) deal with real epitaphs not deserving of being left to vanish forever into the cold November ether or….wherever. Here are some of my favorites:

    Here lies the body
    Of poor Aunt Charlotte.
    Born a virgin, died a harlot.
    For 16 years
    She kept her virginity
    A damn long time
    For this vicinity.
    –DEATH VALLEY, CALIFORNIA

    Here lies Butch,
    We planted him raw.
    He was quick on the trigger,
    But slow on the draw.

    Beneath this smooth stone
    by the bone of his bone
    sleeps Master John Gill;
    By lies when alive
    this attorney did thrive,
    And now that he’s dead he lies still.

    Here lies Anna Mann
    Who lived an old maid
    But died an old Mann.

    MARGARET DANIELS
    She always said
    Her feet were killing her
    But nobody believed her.

    SIR JOHN STRANGE
    Here lies an honest lawyer
    That is Strange.

    This is the grave of Mike O’Day
    Who died maintaining his right of way.
    His right was clear, his will was strong
    But he’s just as dead as if he’d been wrong.

    Beneath this stone my wife doth lie
    Now she’s at rest and so am I.

    JOHN BROWN, DENTIST
    Stranger! Approach this spot with gravity!
    John Brown is filling his last cavity.

    Here lies the body of W. W.
    Who never more will trouble you, trouble you.

    Here lies the body of Mary Ford
    Whose soul, we trust, is with the Lord;
    But if for hell, she’s exchanged this life,
    ‘Tis better than being John Ford’s wife.

    Owen Moore
    Has passed away
    Owin’ more
    Than he could pay.

    I’ll close with one I wish one and all could say in the end:

    Been Here
    and Gone There.
    Had a good time.

     

     

     
    • scifihammy 3:18 am on August 30, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      haha Fun! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    • carmen 6:05 am on August 30, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Those are hilarious, mister muse.

      Speaking of such things, I must tell you about this. I’ve just returned from Australia, where I visited my family there. (Been there. Now here. Had a good Time) Son-in-law is a huge footie fan (as most people are) and he and the guy next door are both Richmond Tigers fans. Well, the team isn’t doing that well this year and often start out their games with high scores and then lose in the end. Just before I left, there was a Saturday night game on. Son-in-law and neighbour trade various texts during the game, and it starts off great! They’re in a big lead and both men are pumped! Of course, the inevitable happens and the Tigers lose the game. Neighbour texts son-in-law – “I’m getting some of those team members to handle my coffin when I die. That way, I figure they can let me down one last time!” 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • Michaeline Montezinos 7:50 am on August 30, 2016 Permalink | Reply

        I do not know where I will be laid to rest. Getting buried where is a guess. I may go up in flames and a wooden urn be filled with my remains.
        I liked your epitaphs and I hope those buried there go no where mistermuse. It is a Jewish custom to wait one year before placing the grave marker. This helps the deceased settle down and I suppose know he/she is dead. Strange, isn’t it?

        Liked by 1 person

        • mistermuse 9:32 am on August 30, 2016 Permalink

          Well said, Michaeline.
          I didn’t know about that Jewish custom, but it certainly sounds like a compassionate thing to do to let the deceased settle down in his/her grave before advertising to the world that you’re dead. Also, if the deceased changes his mind about what should be on his grave marker, that gives him time to communicate his thoughts to his surviving family.

          Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 9:13 am on August 30, 2016 Permalink | Reply

        Great story, Carmen….also educational, as I thought footies were pajamas worn by babies, which would mean that your son-in-law gets a big kick out of baby wear. Nothing wrong with that, of course, but still, a bit strange. So I was glad to learn that a footie fan can also mean a football fan, though I daresay your son-in-law would suffer far fewer let-downs if he switched his allegiance to baby pajamas. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

        • carmen 9:17 am on August 30, 2016 Permalink

          You make me laugh out loud, mister muse!! 🙂 To clarify things even further, everyone there refers to it as ‘the’ footie. . . Australians are bemused by all the gear people use to play football here in North America; they’re tough, mate!

          Liked by 1 person

    • arekhill1 9:49 am on August 30, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      I don’t think I’ll bother composing a cry for attention from beyond the grave, Sr. Muse–I’ve been ignored enough while I’ve been alive. What do you think about contributing to Bob’s follow-up publication? I’m thinking I’ll see how it develops first.

      Like

      • mistermuse 11:55 am on August 30, 2016 Permalink | Reply

        I definitely won’t be contributing posts to Bob’s follow-up pub, Ricardo, but will comment (assuming you and Don continue to post).

        Like

    • Cynthia Jobin 10:09 am on August 30, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Those are clever and funny, Mistermuse. I have always liked Robert Frost’s epitaph, a line from one of his poems: “I had a lover’s quarrel with the world.”

      In an “awareness” week about matters and thoughts around death, a survey was carried out by the Marie Curie Cancer Care center, of famous epitaphs. The Top 10 Favorites were:

      1. Spike Milligan: “I told you I was ill”

      2. Oscar Wilde: “Either those curtains go or I do”

      3. Frank Sinatra: “The best is yet to come”

      4. Mel Blanc: “That’s all, folks!”

      5. Frank Carson: “What a way to lose weight”

      6. Winston Churchill: “I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter”

      7. John Belushi: “I may be gone but Rock and Roll lives on”

      8. Bette Davis: “She did it the hard way”

      9. Humphrey Bogart: “I should never have switched from Scotch to Martinis”

      10. Peter Ustinov: “Please keep off the grass”

      Liked by 2 people

      • mistermuse 11:51 am on August 30, 2016 Permalink | Reply

        Thanks, Cynthia, for passing along those “Top 10 Favorites.” I actually used one of them (Mel Blanc’s) to put the finishing touches to my original January 2012 post on SWI, but I decided to close out today’s post with the “Been Here and Gone There” epitaph instead. The Spike Milligan one seems like a variation of the Margaret Daniels epitaph and may have been based on hers.

        As for the rest, Churchill’s has long been a favorite (of mine), and Sinatra’s the most optimistic. There’s a few I hadn’t heard before, including Ustinov’s, which I like a lot.

        Liked by 1 person

    • D. Wallace Peach 10:48 pm on August 30, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Amazing that those are real! I like the last one best. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    • BroadBlogs 11:42 pm on August 30, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Thanks for a laugh!

      Liked by 1 person

    • Garfield Hug 12:44 am on September 2, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Great epitaphs! Will need you to coin one for me ha ha!

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 11:29 am on September 2, 2016 Permalink | Reply

        Ask and ye shall receive:

        Here lies a great gal who worked for the “Lord;”
        His conduct was shocking and wholly untoward!
        She had much to offer, but seemed at times bored;
        Now she’s forever at peace with the Garfield she adored.

        Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse 1:25 pm on September 2, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      You are most welcome. When you return to work, let’s hope the ‘current” Electrical Lord’s power surge has found a different outlet so that you are no longer the unwilling generator of his abuse!

      Like

    • lexborgia 7:40 am on November 11, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      SIR JOHN STRANGE
      Here lies an honest lawyer
      That is Strange._ my favourite.

      Last one sounds ‘been there done that. Next!’/ came, saw, conquered.

      Liked by 1 person

  • mistermuse 9:04 am on February 1, 2015 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , , , George Pal, Hildegard, , , , Mary Shelley, Puppetoons, , Victor Herbert   

    THE PASSING GAME 

    How do you do?  Glad to see you. It’s game day, guys and gals, so let’s get right to it. No, this isn’t about football (whatever gave you that idea?). This is a game about how many of the following ten names ring a bell, and what do they have in common (other than the fact that none were football players)?

    Victor Herbert, James P. Johnson, John Ford, Clark Gable, Langston Hughes, S. J. Perelman, Hildegard, George Pal, Muriel Spark, Boris Yeltsin.

    How did you do? You say there’s several you didn’t recognize? That will never do. There are no passes here, so before we proceed to what they have in common, here are the names again, followed by year of birth and claim to fame:

    1. VICTOR HERBERT, 1859, composer (father of the operetta style Broadway musical, including Babes in Toyland, Naughty Marietta and Sweethearts)

    2. JAMES P. JOHNSON, 1891, composer and jazz pianist (king of Harlem stride piano & composer of such standards as The Charleston, Old Fashioned Love and If I Could Be With You One Hour Tonight)

    3. JOHN FORD, 1894, movie director (famous for westerns and winner of four Academy Awards for best director: The Informer, Grapes of Wrath, How Green Was My Valley and The Quiet Man, none of which were westerns)

    4. CLARK GABLE, 1901, actor (Frankly, my dear, I don’t think I need say more)

    5. LANGSTON HUGHES, 1902, poet, playwright and social activist (leader of the Harlem Renaissance and pioneer of literary art form known as jazz poetry)

    6. S. J. PERELMAN, 1904, humorist, screenwriter and playwright (credits include humor for the New Yorker, scripts for Marx Brothers films Monkey Business and Horse Feathers, and Academy Award for screenplay for Around the World in Eighty Days)

    7. HILDEGARD, 1906, American cabaret singer and most elegant, well-known female supper club entertainer of her time; #1 song Darling, Je Vous Aime Beaucoup. Longest-lived (to age 99) of the ten.

    8. GEORGE PAL, 1908, film director, producer and innovator of stop-motion animation (Puppetoons); probably the least familiar name here, thus this 1994 biographical documentary (narrated by Pal’s widow Zsoka) should be both edifying and interesting:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WlRyE4U-dDM

    9. MURIEL SPARK, 1918, novelist and writer (most famous work The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie)

    10. BORIS YELTSIN, 1931, Russian politician. First President of Soviet Federative Socialist Republic.

    OK, I’ll keep you in suspense no longer. What the above have in common is their birthday: February 1.

    But wait — there’s more! What do the following have in common?

    Rene Descartes, philosopher; Mary Shelley, novelist; Buster Keaton, comic actor; George Abbot, director; and Gian Carlo Menotti, composer.

    They all passed away on February 1.

    Today, on this notable day in history, The Observation Post has them coming and going. I hope you had a ball.

    Gotta run.

     
    • arekhill1 11:31 am on February 1, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Langston Hughes, at least, is noted elsewhere on the Net today–he’s in AOL’s Search Spotlight, where notables like Kim Kardashian and Justin Bieber usually romp. Had no idea why, until you elucidated me. Happy Groundhog Day Eve!

      Like

    • mistermuse 1:13 pm on February 1, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Same to you, Ricardo, and may I recommend for tomorrow’s viewing pleasure the great Bill Murray film “Groundhog Day” (on AMC at 5:30 p.m. Eastern time). I predict you’ll dig it even if you’ve seen it before, which you probably have.

      Like

    • Don Frankel 11:14 am on February 2, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Good one Muse, quite a few smiles here. I knew six which is barely passing. But today is Groundhog Day and Staten Island Chuck is not coming out. He doesn’t want to sleep with the fishes.

      Like

    • mistermuse 11:36 am on February 2, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Don, I’m guessing the six you knew are 2,3,4,5,7 & 10. If I’m right, you owe me free advice from Dr. Don (I’ll let you know when I need it).

      Like

    • Michaeline Montezinos 2:31 pm on February 2, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Fine posting for Ground Hog Day. To avoid repeating myself like the Bill Murray film, I actually knew 9 of the 10 posted. Honestly, I guess it comes from what I’ve learned from watching Turner Classic Movies.

      Like

    • mistermuse 4:37 pm on February 2, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Congrats, Michaeline. I doubt if anyone will top your 90%. If I had to guess which one you didn’t know, it would be either #6 or #9. As for me, I “missed” #9 (the name sounded familiar, but I couldn’t place her until I looked her up).

      Like

    • arekhill1 7:03 pm on February 2, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Have it on disc, Sr. Muse, so no need to let AMC interrupt it with commercials. When the security question is “What is your favorite movie?” that’s my answer. Although “The Wizard of Oz” is close.

      Like

      • mistermuse 9:53 pm on February 2, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        I have too many favorite movies to name one, but both of those would be on my list.

        Like

    • Michaeline Montezinos 8:27 pm on February 2, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Mr. Muse you were close since I missed #5, the one about Langston Hughes. My security answer involves an actor but I don’t think anyone would know that. The first question, arekhill!, is about my best friend from childhood. We were sent to different schools after a certain grade. So she is not in my yearbook either. I hope I didn’t blow my cover…

      Liked by 1 person

    • Michaeline Montezinos 2:47 am on February 3, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Since I am a night owl I want to wish everyone here a post Happy Ground Hog Day.
      February 3 is the night of the Full Moon so be forewarned and watch out for lunatics!

      Liked by 1 person

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