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  • mistermuse 12:00 am on March 15, 2020 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , Carole Lombard, , , , , , , , , , Liza Minnelli, , , , , , , , , Yoko Ono   

    BEWARE THE BRIDES OF MARCH 

    March 15 being THE IDES OF MARCH (but still winter), I thought I’d work on a post I’d call THE BRRRR-IDES OF MARCH — however, it hasn’t been very winter-like where I live, so it’s no weather for snow jobs. Thus I’ll settle for a post about The Brides of March, of whom there have been some blushing ones, some gushing ones, some rushing ones, and a mother lode of if-at-first-you-don’t-succeed-try-try-again ones….such as singing star Peggy Lee, whose marriage to jazz guitarist Dave Barbour was her first of four such gigs.

    Here are twenty March brides who gave it the old collage (French for to stick together) try, listed by March wedding day (along with the names of the grooms, just for the wreck of it):

    March 1, 1968   JUNE CARTER / Johnny Cash
    March 8, 1952   NANCY DAVIS / Ronald Reagan
    March 8, 1943   PEGGY LEE / Dave Barbour
    March 9, 1796   JOSÉPHINE de BEAUHARNAIS / Napoléon Bonaparte
    March 13, 1946 MARY WELSH / Ernest Hemingway

    March 15, 1964 ELIZABETH TAYLOR / Richard Burton (again)
    March 16, 2002 LIZA MINNELLI / David Gest
    March 17, 1905 ELEANOR ROOSEVELT / Franklin D. Roosevelt
    March 18, 1869 HARRIET TUBMAN / Nelson Davis
    March 19, 1918 DAISY PARKER / Louis Armstrong (who recorded this song 3/2/1932):

    March 20, 1969 YOKO ONO / John Lennon
    March 21, 1945 LAUREN BACALL / Humphrey Bogart
    March 21, 1963 BARBRA STREISAND / Elliott Gould
    March 21, 1984 SARAH BRIGHTMAN / Andrew Lloyd Webber
    March 23, 1985 CHRISTIE BRINKLEY / Billy Joel

    March 24, 1950 INGRID BERGMAN / Roberto Rossellini
    March 27, 1916 GLORIA SWANSON / Wallace Beery
    March 28, 1920 MARY PICKFORD / Douglas Fairbanks
    March 28, 1939 CAROLE LOMBARD / Clark Gable
    March 28, 1957 BILLIE HOLIDAY (LADY DAY) / Louis McKay

    All but three of those ladies married multiple times, and one of the three (Daisy Parker) died soon after her divorce from Louis Armstrong. Lost passion being the fashion, this quote seems a fitting way to call it a day:

    “I guess the only way to stop divorce is to stop marriage.” –Will Rogers

    So ladies, this be your day to be given away. Gents, beware the BRIDES OF MARCH (apologies to Shakespeare) — not to mention, pity your poor (after the divorce) befuddled comrades-in-arms who married them.

     

     

     

     

     
    • calmkate 12:46 am on March 15, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      lol I think some women like the white wedding bit but can’t quite engage in the marriage commitment thing! I took Will’s advice and avoided the whole darned thing … a barrister friend took me to divorce court and that was it 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

      • mistermuse 1:07 am on March 15, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        Frankly, it sounds like you could render your gender’s version of Sinatra’s I DID IT MY WAY in grand style, Kate. 😉

        Liked by 1 person

    • obbverse 12:56 am on March 15, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      First ring out the wedding bells then all too soon ring the lawyer. Happily ever nah-ah.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Rivergirl 9:05 am on March 15, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Ha! Love it.
      Although Liz Taylor probably hit every month. She was a busy bride.
      😉

      Liked by 1 person

    • Ashley 9:44 am on March 15, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Great post! However, in just a week’s time it will be the Spring Equinox (20th March), the halfway point of spring!

      Liked by 1 person

    • linnetmoss 10:17 am on March 15, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      What an amazing list of brides! The ones that caught my eye were June Carter, Yoko Ono, and of course the immortal Liz. But she is in a category by herself as a bride.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Don Ostertag 3:13 pm on March 15, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Very clever post,

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 3:29 pm on March 15, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        Thanks, Don. Nonetheless, I’m not showing it to my wife, because I don’t want to give her any ideas. Who would cook my meals if she divorced me?

        Liked by 2 people

    • Moushmi Radhanpara 10:01 am on March 16, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Oh, you gave me a good laugh 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    • tubularsock 2:23 pm on March 16, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Now, now, now. It works two ways.
      So, if you first don’t succeed, try, try, try again.

      But usually one should marry “up” each time because after the first divorce you usually have nothing left!

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 5:26 pm on March 16, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        “Divorce is a legal separation when a man stops bringing the money home to his wife and starts mailing it.” –Evan Esar
        In that scenario, a man would have to marry WAY up because, unless the next wife is independently wealthy, he’d probably still have to send her his money after the second divorce. 😉

        Like

    • mlrover 11:21 am on March 18, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      I never planned to marry again after divorcing the first one, who was and is a horrible person. There was no resisting my second marriage, and even with all its ups, downs, and difficulties, it was wonderful. The “Second Time Around” turned out to be true for me.

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 12:13 pm on March 18, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        Liked by 1 person

        • mlrover 7:44 am on March 19, 2020 Permalink

          Thank you. It was Frankie’s rendition that came to mind. And my “.second time” happened on St. Patty’s Day. And we married in March. Forgot to mention that.

          Like

    • arekhill1 1:56 pm on March 18, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Just missed being a March groom myself, Sr. Muse. Married on my birthday, April 12th. Bride insisted on the date so I would remember our wedding anniversary. Only had to remember it once, though.

      Liked by 2 people

    • mistermuse 6:02 pm on March 18, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      At least you can be thankful your birthday isn’t on April 1st, Ricardo — you don’t need that kind of reminder every April Fools Day. 😉

      Like

    • Rebecca Wallick 8:53 pm on March 18, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Great post!
      Thankfully I got my starter marriage out of the way between the ages of 18-20.
      I then went to college and law school. I became a divorce lawyer.
      Oh, the horrors. No more marriages for me!
      Just wish I’d known of the Will Rogers quote when I was still practicing law. I would have turned it into a big sign to hang in my office. Maybe some of my clients would have resisted walking down the aisle a second (or third) time. Maybe, but probably not.
      I did appreciate the repeat business 😉

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 9:41 pm on March 18, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        I like your term “starter marriage,” Rebecca. Wouldn’t it be great if, like a starter home, you could sell it when you ‘outgrow’ it and use the proceeds to acquire a better fit for your current needs?

        Hmmm. “Maybe, but probably not.” 😉

        Like

    • Bryntin 4:49 pm on March 19, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Hello, I’m not commenting on your post exactly, just letting you know I visited here – and so might others who hadn’t before now – on my latest BLT (Blog Leap Tour). You may see a pingback link if you want to see how it went.
      Anyway, sorry to intrude.
      Carry on… 🙂

      Like

      • mistermuse 6:06 pm on March 19, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        I was about to “carry on” (recalling the old British “Carry On…” film series) when I noticed a follow-up Bryntin comment (something about a virus) which gave me pause. I’m therefore refraining from approving the second comment pending clarification, as I’m not presently in the mood for a virus…even of the “carry on” kind.

        Like

        • Bryntin 6:09 pm on March 19, 2020 Permalink

          Ah, that was probably in the text of my post and carried into the link… and of course at the moment a lot of posts encompass the word ‘virus’. Sorry to give you the squeaky bottom but I am real and safe as far as I know… as far as any of us knows even.

          Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 10:04 pm on March 19, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        As you can see, your “carry on” has now passed inspection — but my post is under quarantine, along with everyone who has been in contact with it since 4:49 pm today, until further notice (or until that certain everyone sends my inspection fee — preferably sanitized — whichever comes first). 😉

        Like

    • equipsblog 8:53 am on March 28, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Very clever post. Maybe next you can actually riff you way through the Brrrr-ides of March.

      Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse 12:17 pm on March 28, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      My bride and I tied the knot in the month of September, so I’m not rife for a riff (or a raff, for that matter) through the Brrr-ides of March….but since we’re heading from March into April, here’s a jazzman’s riff on the transition:

      Like

  • mistermuse 12:01 am on August 1, 2018 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , birth certificate, Cabaret, , illegal aliens, Joel Grey, Kardashians, Liza Minnelli, , , Paul the apostle, , , the buck stops here,   

    THINKING OUTSIDE THE BUCKS 

    Money is the root of all evil.

    Some people–especially the biblically grounded–say the above admonition dates back to the apostle Paul’s first letter to the Kardashians….specifically, Timothy (Kardashian). But said name (“Tim” for short) was changed to “Kim” early on because Tim wasn’t Tiny for long (plus, “Tim” was obviously an inappropriate name for someone of her gender). Or maybe “Kimothy” was misspelled “Timothy” on the birth certificate, and the error went unnoticed until the day they had to furnish proof she wasn’t an illegal alien. Whatever.

    But if we can’t believe the bible, what then? For the record, my sources have uncovered this more likely origin for MONEY IS THE ROOT OF ALL EVIL, first recorded by The Andrews Sisters and sung on the 1940s Blue (radio) Network (other researchers put their money on the Green Network, but that’s a source of a different color):

    I must admit the song isn’t nitpickingly accurate. The correct admonition is The love of money is the root of all evil. This does put a whole different spin on the sin, the point being that you can screw who you will for wealth, and, so long as you don’t love it–so long as you can say, “Up yours!”, your affairs are strictly money business.

    And so we come to the point in the proceedings where, having run out of my own pearls of profundity to pad the post, I turn to what others have to say (and sing) on the subject:

    Business is the art of extracting money from another man’s pocket without resorting to violence. –Max Amsterdam

    It’s money. I remember it from when I was single. –Billy Crystal

    A billion here, a billion there, and pretty soon you’re talking about real money. –Everett Dirksen, former U.S. Senator

    It may be hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven, but it’s easy for him to get on the church board of trustees. –Evan Esar

    Women prefer men who have something tender about them — especially the legal kind. –Kay Ingram

    A fool and his money are soon elected. –Will Rogers

    Cocaine is God’s way of saying you’re making too much money. –Robin Williams

    And with that, the buck stops here.

     
    • Paul Sunstone 12:22 am on August 1, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      “Give me control of a nation’s money, and I care not who makes its laws.” Whether or not Nathan Rothschild actually said that is disputed, but what cannot be disputed is that whoever controls a nation’s money is positioned to rule that nation.

      Liked by 3 people

      • mistermuse 6:51 am on August 1, 2018 Permalink | Reply

        Now that you mention it, I think you’re right — our nation’s wives do control the money (not to mention their husbands).

        Liked by 2 people

    • scifihammy 3:33 am on August 1, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      haha An entertaining post. 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

    • masercot 5:50 am on August 1, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      Boy, do I love the Andrews sisters. First spotted them in the Abbott and Costello movies. The big blonde is my favorite…

      Liked by 2 people

      • mistermuse 7:00 am on August 1, 2018 Permalink | Reply

        I do remember the Andrews in an A & C movie, but (without looking it up) I don’t remember which one (maybe more). The blond Andrews was Patti, the lead singer who, as I recall, continued to sing on her own after the sister act disbanded. I have a number of their old 78 rpm records in my collection.

        Liked by 1 person

        • masercot 8:11 am on August 1, 2018 Permalink

          Well, just to fill in that one gap in your knowledge: The movie was called “Buck Privates”. They did both “Boogie Woogie Bugle-boy” and “Don’t Sit Under the Apple Tree”. I love the choreography of “Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy”…

          Liked by 2 people

        • mistermuse 12:44 pm on August 1, 2018 Permalink

          Thanks, Charlie. It’s been a long time since I saw that movie, but I do have both those songs on record.

          Liked by 1 person

    • calmkate 6:35 am on August 1, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      If money is the cause of all evil then why do churches keep asking for it? But love your quotes …. am expecting payment for this praise 😉
      The Andrew sisters isn’t playing for me … might be an issue this end.

      Liked by 2 people

      • mistermuse 7:17 am on August 1, 2018 Permalink | Reply

        I offer this payment–another quote, this one by Freud:
        “When someone criticizes me, I can defend myself, but against praise I am defenseless.”
        I trust you’ll accept it, because you wouldn’t want to take advantage of a poor defenseless muse, now, would you, Kate?

        Liked by 2 people

    • arekhill1 11:16 am on August 1, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      I love money. I love everything about it. I bought some pretty good stuff. Got me a $300 pair of socks. Got a fur sink. An electric dog polisher. A gasoline powered turtleneck sweater. And, of course, I bought some dumb stuff, too. –Steve Martin

      Liked by 2 people

      • mistermuse 11:55 am on August 1, 2018 Permalink | Reply

        Love the quote, Ricardo. Who doesn’t want a fur sink, an electric dog polisher, and a gasoline powered turtleneck sweater? But I think Steve could’ve done a lot better than a $300 pair of socks — in fact, I have a $600 pair of socks I’d be willing to sell him for $1,200 just to let him feel like he got his money’s worth.

        P.S. And, if he acts now, I’ll wear them for a week and ship them unwashed so they smell good.

        Like

    • Don Frankel 4:50 pm on August 1, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      Muse, I may be wrong but I thought Paul wrote his letters to these guys.

      Like

      • mistermuse 7:01 pm on August 1, 2018 Permalink | Reply

        Don, scholars say Paul wrote letters to the Romans, Corinthians, Galatians, Colossians, Philippians, Thessalonians, and of course the Kardashians, but they don’t mention The Coronets. If Paul did write to The Coronets, the letters must have got lost in the mail.

        Like

    • chattykerry 2:43 pm on August 2, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      Gosh, I love the way you wound the bible around the Kardashians, the Andrews Sisters and Robin Williams. Excellent post – there should be award for this type of thinking!

      Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse 4:48 pm on August 2, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      Thank you, Kerry — comments like yours are my award. 🙂

      By the way, I had to work “Timothy” into the post as well, because “money is the root of all evil” is actually from Paul’s first letter to Timothy (though I can’t say for sure that Timothy’s last name was Kardashian). 🙂 🙂

      Like

    • ESP 1:47 am on August 7, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      came here from potato blog, and find this as entertaining as it was claimed to be. following for more.

      Liked by 1 person

    • America On Coffee 1:43 pm on August 7, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      Nice!

      Liked by 1 person

    • mlrover 5:43 pm on August 15, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      Yes, it’s the “love of money” not the dinero itself. Creepy, amoral and wordy Any Rand misquoted that Scripture passage to justify her weirdness. She had Frisco blabbing on for pages and pages about it in Atlas Shrugged. As if everyone at a party is going to stand around and listen to anyone that long. OK, the guy was supposed to be handsome and rich. Still no excuse to cram her twisted philosophy into melodramatic narrative. My poly sic sister called Rand a social monster. Gee, who does that remind me of…orange and has never read the constitution he vowed to protect.

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 6:33 pm on August 15, 2018 Permalink | Reply

        If Rand and Trump are alike (except that Trump couldn’t write a coherent thought, much less a novel), it’s a good thing only one of them is still alive.

        Liked by 1 person

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