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  • mistermuse 12:00 am on September 24, 2017 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: Bat Masterson, , female Marshals, , , Jesus, lawbreakers, , My L:ittle Chickadee, Philadelphia, , saloons, , six-shooter, U.S. Marshals, , Wild Bill Hickok, Wild West,   

    MARSHAL LAW and SOILED DOVES 

    I have often not been asked who my favorite Old West marshal is. Just as often, I have not replied: “I have not often given it any thought.” I suppose that if, for some desperate reason (such as drawing a blank for something to write about for this post) I had given it any thought, I would’ve come up with Wyatt Earp, Wild Bill Hickok or Bat Masterson. Don’t ask me to name other famous marshals. Were there any other famous marshals?

    Today is the 228th anniversary of the creation of the U.S. Marshal Service, so I decided to marshal my resources, round up a posse, and pursue my query. Unfortunately, it wasn’t posse-ble to corral volunteers for such a questionable undertaking; I will have to go it alone. If I don’t come out of this post alive, please pray that I have gone to a better place. Philadelphia will do.

    As you may have noticed in the above clip, Mae West was mighty handy with a six-shooter….but in yesteryear’s wild and wooly West, female marshals were scarcer than beer and whiskey drinkers on the wagon in a one-horse town with two saloons — a sobering thought, indeed. Thus, it mae be necessary to put up wanted posters in order to uncover additional famous marshals (preferably female).

    Well, that didn’t take long; there WERE female marshals in the Old West. Here they be:

    https://glitternight.com/tag/female-marshals/

    That appears to be the extent of their ranks — out of hundreds of marshals/deputy marshals, only four were of the fair sex. But that seems only fair. After all, 99% of the ‘bad guys’ were just that — ‘guys’ — so why should women be charged with maintaining law and order in the Wild West when almost all of the lawbreakers were men….though it’s no stretch to assume that certain upstanding citizens weren’t above regarding certain ladies as ‘hardened’ offenders:

    As Jesus and mistermuse not often say (therefore it bares repeating):  Let he among you who is without sin cast the first stein.

    Needless to say, I’ll drink to that!

     

     
    • Carmen 6:11 am on September 24, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      “Needless to say, I’ll drink to that!”
      On this fair Sunday morning, that’s a benediction worthy of discipleship. 🙂
      (Think you’d down a Sour Toe Cocktail?).

      Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse 7:59 am on September 24, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      Sorry, I’m not a cocktailer, Carmen….but I wouldn’t be above a sweet finger-lickin’ good. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    • arekhill1 1:12 pm on September 24, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      Salud, Sr. Muse.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Don Frankel 6:55 pm on September 24, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      Muse I was trying to get the picture to copy directly but my computer doesn’t want to cooperate so this will have to be opened but least we forget Josephine Sarah Marcus aka Mrs. Wyatt Earp. And, she’s not wearing a bra here.

      http://richardelzey.com/kaloma.html

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 7:55 am on September 25, 2017 Permalink | Reply

        Very interesting, Don. That period of time in American history is unique. No doubt thousands of stories could be told.

        Like

        • Carmen 9:17 am on September 25, 2017 Permalink

          Don, that’s a fascinating story! I love the picture, too! Thanks for the share. 🙂

          Liked by 1 person

    • literaryeyes 1:11 pm on September 25, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      Calamity Jane was a wild one too, and I suspect on both sides of the law. It’s said by some historians that communities of men out West, for instance, the gold-miners, were out of control until the women came. That is, wives and no-nonsense types. Women have been a civilizing influence, but I rankle at giving them the whole burden of keeping the humanity in human beings.

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 4:09 pm on September 25, 2017 Permalink | Reply

        The Creator seems to have put superior physical strength in the wrong hands when He/She/It gave men that advantage over women. On the other hand(s), human nature being what it is, who’s to say women wouldn’t be the ones “out of control” if their positions were reversed? Nonetheless, women could hardly do a worse job than men running things over the course of recorded history, so why not?

        Like

    • barkinginthedark 12:34 am on March 30, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Fields’ “It’s A Gift” is truly a comic masterwork. continue….

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 8:21 am on March 30, 2020 Permalink | Reply

        They don’t make comic geniuses like Fields, Chaplin, Keaton, and Laurel & Hardy anymore. Today we have “stable” geniuses like Trump. It’s enough to make a groan man cry.

        Like

  • mistermuse 10:41 am on April 10, 2014 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: Allah, deist, , Gaia, , Holy Trinity, Jehovah, Jesus, Krishna, Mother Earth, , New Testament, Odin, , Satan, Yahweh, Zeus   

    GOD’S QUESTIONNAIRE REVISITED (THE SECOND COMING) 

    And now two — question #2 in NPR’s “Car Talk” God’s Total Quality Management Questionnaire:

    2. Which model Deity did you acquire?

    __ Yahweh
    __ Father, Son & Holy Ghost (Trinity Pak)
    __ Jehovah
    __ Jesus
    __ Krishna
    __Zeus and entourage (Olympus Pak)
    __Odin and entourage (Valhalla Pak)
    __Allah
    __Satan
    __Gaia/Mother Earth/Mother Nature
    __God 1.a (hairy thunderer)
    __God 1.b (cosmic muffin)
    __None of the above; I was taken in by a false god

    You know, even at my advanced mile-age, I still don’t know which Deity is the real deal, but given the bewildering number of choices, how could any truly benevolent Big Dealer blame a prospective buyer for test driving as many of the above models as thought warranted? After all, no one wants to pay a lot of lettuce for a lemon. Many are called guarantees on paper, but few are the guarantees worth the paper chosen to be written on.

    You can consult the Blue Book all you want to when you go to trade in your used model for, let’s say, a New Testament, but take my word, “they” know the only reason you’re getting rid of your clunker is because there’s something wrong with it and you’re desperate for reliable transportation. My old Trinity Pak wasn’t worth a denarius when I traded it in for a Deist, but that’s what I get for holding on to it for so long. What’s in your garage?

    NEXT comes question #3.

     
    • arekhill1 10:50 am on April 10, 2014 Permalink | Reply

      Hairy Thunderer vs. Cosmic Muffin–the question that has plagued mankind through the ages.

      Like

      • mistermuse 5:49 pm on April 10, 2014 Permalink | Reply

        In my endless search for meaning, I found these lines from a National Lampoon parody song:

        Therefore make peace with your god,
        Whatever you conceive him to be:
        hairy thunderer or cosmic muffin

        When you see God in movies, He usually appears as a hairy thunderer. Apparently Hollywood doesn’t have any cosmic muffin costumes. He would die at the box office anyway.

        Like

    • Don Frankel 1:29 pm on April 10, 2014 Permalink | Reply

      First I want to thank God that we got question #2 as I was worried that it might not come till I reached the Undiscovered Country.

      My answer is None of the above but I didn’t even get a False God. I got nothing. I didn’t get a middle name either. And, yes I spent ten years in therapy.

      Like

    • mistermuse 5:56 pm on April 10, 2014 Permalink | Reply

      Two down and seven to go, Don. Maybe I’d better abridge & consolidate the rest into one or two more posts. I don’t want to press my luck too far.

      Like

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