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  • mistermuse 12:39 am on April 15, 2015 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: April 15, , , Internal Revenue Service, IRS, , , tax deductions,   

    GO FIGURE 

    Did you ever notice that when you put the words “THE” and “IRS” together, it spells THEIRS? -Anonymous

    It’s April 15th — tax day in America. If you haven’t already done so, it’s time to reward Uncle Sam for the fruits of your labor — even if you claim you hate your job (sour grapes are nonetheless taxable).

    In this country, the job of collecting donations to the federal government falls to the IRS — AKA the Infernal Revenue Service. In years past, I (like many other nightmare-lovers) have often opted to procrastinate up to the last day to prepare my tax return. Not so this year — as you will see when I relate a brief but curious conversation I had this morning with my neighbor, Max, over the backyard fence:

    “Hello, Muse!”
    “Good morning, Max.”
    “Have you done
    your income tax?”
    “Taxing though
    it be to say,
    know I did
    it yesterday.”
    “Did you take
    your deductions?”
    “I deduced
    for reductions.”
    “Four reduced?
    I laud your feat!”
    “I took off
    both hands and feet.”
    “That’s the way
    to keep ahead!”
    “Yes, I used
    my limbs in stead.”
    “Instead of
    head? Way to go!”
    That’s the way
    to save some dough!”
    “Have you done
    your income tax?”
    “Good day, Muse.”
    “Good morning, Max.”

     
    • arekhill1 8:33 am on April 15, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      I coughed up a couple grand yesterday. Don’t feel like writing a poem about. it.

      Like

    • mistermuse 9:53 am on April 15, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      I don’t blame you, Ricardo. In lieu of a poem, how about this: 😦

      Like

    • Don Frankel 6:01 pm on April 15, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      It might have been cheaper and easier to give them the pound of flesh.

      I gave them a few hundred but I don’t mind. I’d rather have had my hands on my money. They give you a refund but they don’t give you any interest for having the use of your money.

      Like

    • mistermuse 7:46 pm on April 15, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      I used to feel the same, Don, but rates are so low now, the interest on a few hundred “don’t amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world” – not that I give a hill of beans, because the older I get, the less money interests me (as long as we have enough for our needs (admittedly, loosely defined).

      Liked by 1 person

  • mistermuse 12:01 am on March 5, 2014 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , Dr. Jekyll and mr. Hyde, , IRS, , , split personality, wedded bliss   

    I “R” US 

    March 5 is Multiple Personality Day, a day which is near and dear to my hearts. By virtue (?) of the dichotomous nature of my recent posts, there is little doubt that I both know and don’t know whereof I speak, on this or any other subject. Us are thus uniquely qualified to be a talking head on TV or a scribbling ass on TOP. Lucky for you, The Observation Post is the place for me (aka us).

    Who originated Multiple Personality Day is unclear, but as it relates to Multiple Personality Disorder, the term has been obsolete since 1994, when it became known as Dissociative Identity Disorder. According to WebMD.com, most of us have experienced mild dissociation, such as daydreaming or “getting lost in the moment.” The actual disorder “is characterized by the presence of two or more distinct or split identities or personality states.” Think Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Or Mr. Frankel and Dr. Don. Or mistermuse and Dr. Who?

    The best thing about having a split personality is that two can live as cheaply as one. Unfortunately, when each of the two gets married, four can’t live as cheaply as three (or is it three can’t live as cheaply as one or two?), so perhaps it’s best to forego wedded bliss unless you are independently stealthy — er, wealthy. Besides, by the letter of the law, some might call it bigamy. It’s certainly biga-us, but still we’d better think twice before we rush into something biga than both of me.

    Another big problem I R Us have is the IRS. Are us two or one for tax purposes? If I claim both of us as exemptions, which of us is me and which of us is a dependent? If I R Us have IRA deductions on line 17 and nondeductible contributions to our traditional IRA shown on Form 8606 which is less than total IRA contributions for 2013 as explained in Publication 590, do I R Us punt, throw to first base or split the difference?

    We give up. Woe are us.

     
    • Don Frankel 8:56 am on March 5, 2014 Permalink | Reply

      Dr. Don describes DID as “Didn’t do it or Did I?”. Aka delusional in delusional or delusional squared.

      Like

    • mistermuse 11:07 am on March 5, 2014 Permalink | Reply

      Unfortunately, I know I didn’t do my income tax yet. If you don’t hear from me again until after April 15, you’ll know I’m still working on it. Both of me thinks IRS stands for “It Really Sucks.”

      Like

    • Sam373 11:14 am on March 23, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      I like the way you think.

      Liked by 1 person

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