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  • mistermuse 12:14 am on November 15, 2013 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , ideologues, phobias   

    PHOBIA, SCHMOBIA 

    Did you know that (according to Reference.com) there are at least 530 documented phobias, Including Phobophobia, the fear of phobias? Among the most interesting, to say the least, is fear of midgets (Achondroplasiphobia). Another of my favorites is Anatidaephobia, the fear that somewhere in the world, a duck is watching you. Aflac! Then there is the fear of long words (Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia). Easy for who to say. You can click http://phobialist.com for a comprehensive list.

    As curious as the above documented examples are, Yours Truly has come across some phobias that, while undocumented, are even more curious. By adhering to the most exacting investigative standards (personal observation), I have determined without fear of contradictaphobia that the following are every bit as real as phobias documented by so-called scientific methods:

    Santaclaustrophobia — the fear of Christmas closing in, surrounded by the God-awful, unholy sound of wall-to-wall Christmas songs from which there is no escape.

    Ideologophobia — the fear of pluralism, pragmatism and, above all, the color gray.

    Expostophobia — the fear of disappearing posts.

    Mistermuseephobia — the fear of Expostophobia.

    Frankelsteinaphobia — the fear of Dr. Don creating a monster who demands to be directed by Young Mel Brooks….seriously.

    Michaelphobia – the fear of archangels.

    Ricardophobia — the fear of the return of Prohibition, concurrent with the closing of the Mexican border to gringos dying of thirst.

    Endophobia — the fear of what all good things must come to.

     
    • arekhill1 3:03 pm on November 16, 2013 Permalink | Reply

      I plan to smuggle myself across, should my phobia be realized.

      Like

    • mistermuse 5:34 pm on November 16, 2013 Permalink | Reply

      Ricardo, it would be a pity to make it across, only to develope Cervezaphobia. Maybe you should invite Dr. Don along, just in case.

      Like

  • mistermuse 10:11 am on June 27, 2009 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: eliot spitzer, ideologues, , , the situation room, wolf blitzer   

    POLITICS AND POETRY 

    What would comedians (or satirical poets) do without politicians? Now there’s a question for the sages, but I will leave the plowing of that fertile field to others and settle for a few digs with my poet’s pen (yes, there are still several of us pen-poets left).

    DOGGEREL MAY BE A DOG BUT
    DOGMA MAKES MORE MANURE

    Ideologues prize
    A left or right agenda….
    But the other guys
    Still won’t surrenda
    As both sides reprise
    ‘Return To Senda’
    While truth and lies
    Blur in the blenda
    And compromise
    Goes out the winda.

    HAIKU ON THE HUSTINGS

    The candidate smiles,
    waves warmly to massed strangers;
    he’s been here before.

    I’M REVIEWING THE SITUATION ROOM

    You’re in The Situation Room;
    And even if you’re not, I’m.
    Why? Witnessing whether Wolf’s worth
    Three hours of our time.
    My grade: a Fair for Wolf Blitzer,
    Plus Affair for Eliot Spitzer….
    With apologies for a desperate rhyme.

     
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