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  • mistermuse 12:00 am on November 10, 2015 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: cardinals, Catholic, , , Moses, , , , sexual attraction, ten, Ten Commandments, Tender Is The Night   

    TEN 

    Ten: The cardinal number equal to 9 plus 1. –Webster’s New College Dictionary

    Well, I must say Webster’s definition of ten seems simple enough. Obviously, if you have nine cardinals and add one, you should end up with ten cardinals….unless you left the cage door open when you went to get one more, in which case, an empty birdcage plus one cardinal equal one cardinal plus an empty birdcage, which is what you deserve, because you’re not supposed to cage wild birds. It’s a cardinal sin.

    Of course, everyone is susceptible to cardinal sin except Catholic cardinals, who rose from their flock to become cardinals by attending the College of Cardinals….after having been grounded for years in Catholic tenets and the Ten Commandments, which you may be surprised to learn were originally Fifteen Commandments — before this happened:

    Why all this bird seed about the number ten, you ask….you are asking, aren’t you? Again, the answer is simple: this is the tenth day of the tenth month of November, which used to be the eleventh month until I — yes, I dropped one. Hey, if Moses can drop five commandments, what’s the big deal if one of the Muses drops one lousy month? Mistermuse says good riddance — who needs a month like February anyway?

    All of which leads us to the day’s feature presentation, dedicated to all you lovebirds out there:

    TEN, DEAR, IS THE NIGHT

    Sexual ‘traction is
    a driving force —
    it leads
    down the road
    to intercourse….

    better, of course,
    if intimate when
    our love
    lines seem like
    a perfect ten.

     

     

     
    • ladysighs 6:45 am on November 10, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Glad you only post every five days or so. Gives me time to recover from laughing. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 8:08 am on November 10, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        I wish you could’ve had as speedy a recovery from what ailed you several months ago as I’m sure you’ll have from laughing! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

        • ladysighs 9:20 am on November 10, 2015 Permalink

          Thank you for being observant. Posting in WP, forums, FB etc etc plus reality, reminds me of the old show I Led Three Lives. Things get mixed up and confused and sometimes traumatic. Does take time to recover. 🙂

          Liked by 1 person

      • Michaeline Montezinos 2:39 am on November 11, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        In my unsolicitated opinion, ladysighs has connected with so many websites, etc, that she sounds like she needs a vacation. Or like me sometimes when I become overwhelmed and try to do too much. I would like to invite her over to my home for a nice weekend break. Of course you have to pay your own air fair but meals and laughter and trips to see dolphins and quiet moments by the beautiful Tampa Bay are provided. Oh! I forgot to mention I am supposed to be “and I now live in St. Petersburg, Florida.retired”

        Like

    • Midwestern Plant Girl 8:55 am on November 10, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      I agree. February has to go. .. and take your weather too!

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 11:46 am on November 10, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        I think that, by the end of January, most of us in the northern half of the Northern Hemisphere have had it with winter, so I’m all for just skipping right to the first of March. 😦

        Liked by 1 person

      • Michaeline Montezinos 2:32 am on November 11, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        Leave February alone! It is the one month devoted to lovers. Have you forgotten Valentine’s Day? My husband and I always observe this day no matter the weather. You are from the Midwest? I guess I am stronger than you and know how to survive in the cold of Detroit where I was born and raised.

        Liked by 1 person

        • mistermuse 8:42 am on November 11, 2015 Permalink

          Judging by what the website CATHOLIC ONLINE has to say about St. Valentine and Valentine’s Day, the day could just as easily be ‘celebrated’ in the month of Fictionary:
          “In 1969, the Roman Catholic Church removed St. Valentine from the General Roman Calendar, because so little is known about him. However, the Church still recognizes him as a saint, listing him in the February 14 spot of Roman Martyrolgy.”
          “The legends attributed to the mysterious saint are as inconsistent as the actual identification of the man.”
          The Church holds that he was martyred on Feb. 14, 269, however (again quoting CATHOLIC ONLINE), “other tales of St. Valentine’s life claim he was executed in the year 270, 273 or 280.” Such is the stuff that romantic dreams are made of!

          As for surviving in the Midwest cold, I’m still here after 75+ years — where did you say you’re writing from? 🙂 (Sorry, I couldn’t resist – I really don’t begrudge you your retiring to Florida!)

          Like

    • arekhill1 9:09 am on November 10, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Never have I seen a work of literature that combined insights into religion, sex, mathematics and ornithology into such an admirably few pithy paragraphs. Congratulations, Sr. Muse.

      Like

      • mistermuse 11:54 am on November 10, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        Muchas gracias, Ricardo. There’s no money in such work, but my reward shall be great in heaven?

        Like

        • Michaeline Montezinos 2:28 am on November 11, 2015 Permalink

          Why this obsession with the number 10? It is my mother’s birthday and my father’s death day which I choose to ignore.. I know a Catholic who has a memory like an elephant. She knows every birthday and the dates of each death day in all her family and her husband’s too, Unfortunately she chose or had six children, good little catholic that she was. How she accomplished this makes me wonder because she worked and her husband worked at three different jobs. Passing like ships in the night,she claims. Yet there must have been some connection for all those kids. Unless her belief in the Virgin Mary some how rubbed off on her. All I can say we live one day/night at a time and who can foresee what number will pop up from the bingo wheel? Nice poem, mistermuse and I have discovered that the shorter the poem the better the audience. Not every one can multiply by 12 but most know what 1 + 1 equals.

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      • Michaeline Montezinos 2:44 am on November 11, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        I know a brown nose when I see their uncompromising flattery. What do you expect of mistermuse? And you must tneed som compliments yourself since you had to use the dictionary to come up with that vocabulary, arekhill 1. Correct me if I am wrong. I just will say I liked his poem. Amen, Sir Richard the Knight of Satire.

        Like

    • mistermuse 8:54 am on November 11, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Thanks, Michaeline, for the kind words about my poem, and thanks to F. Scott Fitzgerald for inspiring my take on the title of his novel TENDER IS THE NIGHT.

      P.S. Although it may seem self-serving, I think you’re wrong in calling arekhill1’s “uncompromising flattery” “brownnosing.” If I know him (and I think I do), he calls ’em as he sees ’em, and he wouldn’t have said what he said if he didn’t think so.

      Like

    • Mél@nie 6:41 am on November 12, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Monsieur Muse, Sir… you’re really too much!!! 🙂 I’ve already learned “TEN, DEAR, IS THE NIGHT” – by heart=par coeur… ❤ MERCI!!! you've made my day serene and happier… 🙂

      • * *

      @"Catholic tenets and the Ten Commandments" – with due respect, they're just "theory" to me… 😉 for about 2 decades, I've adopted and I've been more into the 10 Commandments of the Native Americans:

      1. The Earth is our Mother, care for Her.
      2. Honor all your relations with your fellows.
      3. Open your heart and soul to the Universal Spirit.
      4. All life is sacred, treat all beings with respect and tolerance.
      5. Take from the Earth what is needed and nothing more.
      6. Do what needs to be done for the good of all.
      7. Speak the truth but only for the good in others.
      8. Follow the rhythm of Nature: rise and retire with the sun.
      9. Take full responsibility for your actions.
      10. Enjoy life’s journey, but leave no tracks; look after the well-being of Mind and Body…

      • * *

      may the Universal Spirit be with you, now and always! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse 7:41 am on November 12, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      May the Universal Spirit be with you as well, beautiful lady….and beautiful, too, are the 10 Commandments of the Native Americans (although #8 seems more than a bit impractical for modern civilization!). 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • Mél@nie 4:45 am on November 13, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        mille merci, Mr Muse! 🙂

        • * *

        yep, you’re right @ n°8… in France, we’d say:”you go to bed at the same time as birds…” 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse 6:23 am on November 14, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      I’m a night owl, myself 🙂

      Like

  • mistermuse 10:35 am on January 21, 2015 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: Catholic, conservatives, , , , , , ,   

    BY GEORGE 

    In my October 8th post CAN’T GO WRONG WITH WRIGHT, I mentioned several affinities I share with stand-up comedian Steven Wright….such as we both dig Woody Allen and the late George Carlin (1937-2008). I’ve done several posts featuring Woody and/or his films, but nothing by George. Time to stand up for George.

    CARLIN (a Mark Twain Prize winner for American Humor) was probably best known for his comedy routines about taboo subjects such as his famous “seven dirty words you can’t say on television,” but I prefer his political and counterculture satire. He was born in Manhattan of Irish-Catholic parents (an ancestry to which I can relate). When he was two months old, they separated due to his father’s alcoholism (did I mention he was Irish?). George was Catholic, as he said, “until I reached the age of reason.”

    I won’t delve further into his background, as his life and career can be easily checked out on Google if interested. There is also an official website: http://www.georgecarlin.com/
    So, without further ado, let’s get to the good stuff — his humor:

    A lot of times when they catch a guy who killed 27 people, they say, “He was a loner.”  Well, of course, he was a loner; he killed everyone he came in contact with.

    Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?

    Religion has convinced people there’s an invisible man living in the sky, who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn’t want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer and burn and scream until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you and he needs money.

    Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.

    Environmentalists changed the word jungle to rain forest, because no one would give them money to save a jungle.

    I was surprised when I started getting old. I always thought it was one of those things that would happen to someone else.

    Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer? It’s because volunteers work for no pay. Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time.

    Weather forecast for tonight: Dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning.

    Once you leave the womb, conservatives don’t care about you until you reach military age. Then you’re just what they’re looking for.

    George Washington’s brother, Lawrence, was the Uncle of Our Country.

    Have you ever noticed that their stuff is shit and your shit is stuff?

    I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.

    SOS.

     
    • arekhill1 11:05 am on January 21, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Ah, George! Always thought he was too mean to die, then he up and proved me wrong.

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 1:08 pm on January 21, 2015 Permalink | Reply

        Let’s hope he went up, and not down below. Too bad he was cremated – if he’d chosen burial, I bet he’d have come up with a great one-liner for his headstone.

        Like

    • ladysighs 11:21 am on January 21, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Truly my favorite comedienne! I can laugh at his words over and over again. Thanks for the post. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse 1:22 pm on January 21, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Pardon my perverted sense of humor, but I never saw him in drag (comedienne?)! Anyway, I appreciate your comment, and I’ll try to be resist such a dig in the future. 🙂

      Like

    • mistermuse 2:34 pm on January 21, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      P.S. Click on ladysighs’ blog if you appreciate squirrels. Jan. 21 is their day, and I was considering doing an appropriate post before deciding nut to – make that NOT to….which worked out well because ladysighs went squirrely today and saved me the trouble.

      Like

    • Michaeline Montezinos 7:09 pm on January 21, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      I am reticent to make a comment, mistermuse, since you have already said Ladysighs “went squirely” today. Otherwise I agree that George Carlin was quite funny in his satire and one of my favorite comedians.

      Like

    • mistermuse 8:34 pm on January 21, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      Unfortunately, I’m cursed with an aversion to making generic comments or replies. I admit that “customizing” runs a risk of seeming to try too hard to be funny, so maybe I should offer double my funny back to unsatisfied customers. Or I could just say I have the best, most understanding readers in the world, such as yourself, Michaeline (and ladysighs).

      Like

    • Don Frankel 5:57 am on January 22, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      I saw him in a nightclub once. Very, very funny man. First thing I thought of when I saw his name here was. “Tonight’s forecast dark…”

      Like

    • mistermuse 9:02 am on January 22, 2015 Permalink | Reply

      There are a lot of stand-up comedians out there, but in my opinion, few, if any, top Carlin and Steven Wright.

      Like

    • tref 2:49 am on July 31, 2020 Permalink | Reply

      Reading all your “George” posts.

      Liked by 1 person

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