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  • mistermuse 12:01 am on August 1, 2018 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , Billy Crystal, birth certificate, Cabaret, , illegal aliens, Joel Grey, Kardashians, , , , Paul the apostle, , , the buck stops here,   

    THINKING OUTSIDE THE BUCKS 

    Money is the root of all evil.

    Some people–especially the biblically grounded–say the above admonition dates back to the apostle Paul’s first letter to the Kardashians….specifically, Timothy (Kardashian). But said name (“Tim” for short) was changed to “Kim” early on because Tim wasn’t Tiny for long (plus, “Tim” was obviously an inappropriate name for someone of her gender). Or maybe “Kimothy” was misspelled “Timothy” on the birth certificate, and the error went unnoticed until the day they had to furnish proof she wasn’t an illegal alien. Whatever.

    But if we can’t believe the bible, what then? For the record, my sources have uncovered this more likely origin for MONEY IS THE ROOT OF ALL EVIL, first recorded by The Andrews Sisters and sung on the 1940s Blue (radio) Network (other researchers put their money on the Green Network, but that’s a source of a different color):

    I must admit the song isn’t nitpickingly accurate. The correct admonition is The love of money is the root of all evil. This does put a whole different spin on the sin, the point being that you can screw who you will for wealth, and, so long as you don’t love it–so long as you can say, “Up yours!”, your affairs are strictly money business.

    And so we come to the point in the proceedings where, having run out of my own pearls of profundity to pad the post, I turn to what others have to say (and sing) on the subject:

    Business is the art of extracting money from another man’s pocket without resorting to violence. –Max Amsterdam

    It’s money. I remember it from when I was single. –Billy Crystal

    A billion here, a billion there, and pretty soon you’re talking about real money. –Everett Dirksen, former U.S. Senator

    It may be hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven, but it’s easy for him to get on the church board of trustees. –Evan Esar

    Women prefer men who have something tender about them — especially the legal kind. –Kay Ingram

    A fool and his money are soon elected. –Will Rogers

    Cocaine is God’s way of saying you’re making too much money. –Robin Williams

    And with that, the buck stops here.

     
    • Paul Sunstone 12:22 am on August 1, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      “Give me control of a nation’s money, and I care not who makes its laws.” Whether or not Nathan Rothschild actually said that is disputed, but what cannot be disputed is that whoever controls a nation’s money is positioned to rule that nation.

      Liked by 3 people

      • mistermuse 6:51 am on August 1, 2018 Permalink | Reply

        Now that you mention it, I think you’re right — our nation’s wives do control the money (not to mention their husbands).

        Liked by 2 people

    • scifihammy 3:33 am on August 1, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      haha An entertaining post. 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

    • masercot 5:50 am on August 1, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      Boy, do I love the Andrews sisters. First spotted them in the Abbott and Costello movies. The big blonde is my favorite…

      Liked by 2 people

      • mistermuse 7:00 am on August 1, 2018 Permalink | Reply

        I do remember the Andrews in an A & C movie, but (without looking it up) I don’t remember which one (maybe more). The blond Andrews was Patti, the lead singer who, as I recall, continued to sing on her own after the sister act disbanded. I have a number of their old 78 rpm records in my collection.

        Liked by 1 person

        • masercot 8:11 am on August 1, 2018 Permalink

          Well, just to fill in that one gap in your knowledge: The movie was called “Buck Privates”. They did both “Boogie Woogie Bugle-boy” and “Don’t Sit Under the Apple Tree”. I love the choreography of “Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy”…

          Liked by 2 people

        • mistermuse 12:44 pm on August 1, 2018 Permalink

          Thanks, Charlie. It’s been a long time since I saw that movie, but I do have both those songs on record.

          Liked by 1 person

    • calmkate 6:35 am on August 1, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      If money is the cause of all evil then why do churches keep asking for it? But love your quotes …. am expecting payment for this praise 😉
      The Andrew sisters isn’t playing for me … might be an issue this end.

      Liked by 2 people

      • mistermuse 7:17 am on August 1, 2018 Permalink | Reply

        I offer this payment–another quote, this one by Freud:
        “When someone criticizes me, I can defend myself, but against praise I am defenseless.”
        I trust you’ll accept it, because you wouldn’t want to take advantage of a poor defenseless muse, now, would you, Kate?

        Liked by 2 people

    • arekhill1 11:16 am on August 1, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      I love money. I love everything about it. I bought some pretty good stuff. Got me a $300 pair of socks. Got a fur sink. An electric dog polisher. A gasoline powered turtleneck sweater. And, of course, I bought some dumb stuff, too. –Steve Martin

      Liked by 2 people

      • mistermuse 11:55 am on August 1, 2018 Permalink | Reply

        Love the quote, Ricardo. Who doesn’t want a fur sink, an electric dog polisher, and a gasoline powered turtleneck sweater? But I think Steve could’ve done a lot better than a $300 pair of socks — in fact, I have a $600 pair of socks I’d be willing to sell him for $1,200 just to let him feel like he got his money’s worth.

        P.S. And, if he acts now, I’ll wear them for a week and ship them unwashed so they smell good.

        Like

    • Don Frankel 4:50 pm on August 1, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      Muse, I may be wrong but I thought Paul wrote his letters to these guys.

      Like

      • mistermuse 7:01 pm on August 1, 2018 Permalink | Reply

        Don, scholars say Paul wrote letters to the Romans, Corinthians, Galatians, Colossians, Philippians, Thessalonians, and of course the Kardashians, but they don’t mention The Coronets. If Paul did write to The Coronets, the letters must have got lost in the mail.

        Like

    • chattykerry 2:43 pm on August 2, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      Gosh, I love the way you wound the bible around the Kardashians, the Andrews Sisters and Robin Williams. Excellent post – there should be award for this type of thinking!

      Liked by 1 person

    • mistermuse 4:48 pm on August 2, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      Thank you, Kerry — comments like yours are my award. 🙂

      By the way, I had to work “Timothy” into the post as well, because “money is the root of all evil” is actually from Paul’s first letter to Timothy (though I can’t say for sure that Timothy’s last name was Kardashian). 🙂 🙂

      Like

    • ESP 1:47 am on August 7, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      came here from potato blog, and find this as entertaining as it was claimed to be. following for more.

      Liked by 1 person

    • America On Coffee 1:43 pm on August 7, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      Nice!

      Liked by 1 person

    • mlrover 5:43 pm on August 15, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      Yes, it’s the “love of money” not the dinero itself. Creepy, amoral and wordy Any Rand misquoted that Scripture passage to justify her weirdness. She had Frisco blabbing on for pages and pages about it in Atlas Shrugged. As if everyone at a party is going to stand around and listen to anyone that long. OK, the guy was supposed to be handsome and rich. Still no excuse to cram her twisted philosophy into melodramatic narrative. My poly sic sister called Rand a social monster. Gee, who does that remind me of…orange and has never read the constitution he vowed to protect.

      Liked by 1 person

      • mistermuse 6:33 pm on August 15, 2018 Permalink | Reply

        If Rand and Trump are alike (except that Trump couldn’t write a coherent thought, much less a novel), it’s a good thing only one of them is still alive.

        Liked by 1 person

  • mistermuse 5:07 am on June 4, 2014 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: Billy Crystal, , Dr. Ruth, old maids, PETA, Roquefort cheese, slow news day   

    SLOW MUSE DAY 

    In the journalism business, a slow news day is (as defined by Wiktionary.com) “a time when media organizations publish trivial stories due to lack of more substantial topics.” I know that Tabloids have no such problem, but your local paper probably has had to resort to the likes of these on occasion:

    http://www.buzzfeed.com/babymantis/15-reasons-it-must-have-been-a-slow-news-day (if it comes up Page Not Found, click where it says  “Search” – then click the blue “15 Reasons Why It Must Have Been A Slow News Day”)

    Not to be outdone by the Tabs or the locals, your trusty Muse has gone to untold investigative lengths, spared no expense and left no stone unturned to bring you the following June 4th happenings:

    Today is Old Maids Day.

    Giacomo Casanova died on this day in 1798.

    Roquefort Cheese was created in cave near Roquefort, France, in 1070.

    The weather forecast for today is what it is.

    Ruth Westheimer (Dr. Ruth), SEX therapist, was born on this day in 1928.

    Today is Hug Your Cat Day.

    Monkees awarded Emmy for outstanding comedy series on this day in 1967.

    PETA protests Emmy award for outstanding comedy series on this night in 1967.

    Billy Crystal and Janice Goldfinger wed June 4, 1970, celebrate Silver Anniversary June 4, 1995. 

    June 4 hedging-your-bets Horoscope: There are few times that you can recall being lost for words. Your sociability and warmth make you a valued friend.

    I had a few more, but I forget what I was going to say.

    Your Valued Friend,

    mistermuse

     
    • mistermuse 10:26 am on June 4, 2014 Permalink | Reply

      When I first posted this, I failed to provide full directions for getting to the link mentioned in the second paragraph – I have now done so (in parenthesis after the link).

      Like

    • Don Frankel 7:34 am on June 6, 2014 Permalink | Reply

      Muse I left a comment here or so I thought. It was funny but I forget what it was. Maybe it was so slow a news day that the comment took a break too.

      Like

    • mistermuse 8:12 am on June 6, 2014 Permalink | Reply

      Don, your lost comment ranks right up there with the hat in the tree found by the woman in the first of the “15 Reasons Why It Must Have Been A Slow News Day” – it’ll probably be found in the most unexpected place, and when it is, I hope it gets reported, because I’m sure it’s a lot funnier than this reply.

      Like

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