THE PUN GENT SMELLS OF PUNS

“Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.” –Fred Allen, humorist

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As my wronged-suffering readers can tell you, I have been known to make them groan with the brilliance of my puns from time to time….but I’ll be the first to conceit that other puns are occasionally as fragrant as mine. Here are a few so fulgent, I no doubt would have composted them myself, if others hadn’t beaten me to the pun:

Why did the pencil smell so bad?
It was a number 2.

Have you heard the one about the flower that never bloomed?
It was a bud omen.

Patient to psychologist: “Doctor, doctor! I think I’m a wigwam, then I think I’m a tepee. I’m a wigwam, I’m a tepee. I’m a wigwam, I’m a tepee…”
“Relax,” says the shrink. “You’re just two tense.”

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

You may think that’s enough pun-ishment for one post, but try telling that to these thankful guys:

You’re welcome.