Vanity of vanities, all is vanity. –Ecclesiastes

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This headline on an article in this morning’s newspaper caught my eye:


According to the article, the Ohio Bureau of Motor Vehicles rejected 462 custom (aka vanity) license plate requests in 2020, “largely for profanity or sexually explicit phrases.” Among the requests doomed to go un-gently into that good night were F U COVID, FURONA, FK COVID, F 2020, F U BIDEN, FUK TRMP, and GOT2P. No doubt, a maximum of seven characters limited the number of ‘dirty’ vanity submissions seeking admission to the state’s clean plate club.

Now, tempting though it be to Follow Up the Foregoing Uncivil liberties with some Forbidden Umbrages of my own creation, my sense of good taste must prevail ere I offend the delicate sensibilities of my high class audience. But what’s that I hear….

Yes, Loudly Let the Trumpet Bray —
Such vanity is nothing but fool’s play.
Those Mother F***ers tried to win the day
Now the Other F***ers will have their say:

If it isn’t vanity, what is it that drives a man to make his son grow up just like his father? –Evan Esar (What say you, Trump et al?)

The highest form of vanity is love of fame. –George Sanayana

The only cure for vanity is laughter, and the only fault that’s laughable is vanity. –Henri Bergson

Vanity is becoming a nuisance. I can see why women give it up, eventually. But I’m not ready for that yet. –Margaret Atwood

Vanity is the quicksand of reason. –George Sand (pen name of Amatine Lucile Dupin)

My vanity is excessive: wherever I sit is the head of the table. –H. L. Mencken