OLD SAYINGS FOR SALE
By the look of things, one of the worst transgressions one can commit these days is to own something that is “outdated.” The thing may be perfectly functional, but when the seductiveness of a shiny new model is insinuated in your head (regardless of whether it’s an improvement), chances are you’ll abjurus the old and covetus the new modus, lestus your status operandi turn corpus delicti.
With that in mind, let us sell out some of our old sayings (though they may retain continuing utility), because you certainly don’t want to be caught dead echoing words which put you in grave danger of being looked down on. Lucky for you, I have started the dirty work of updating enough outmoded sayings to teach you that old dogs can turn new tricks. If these don’t inspire you to take up where I leave off….
If you can’t stand the heat, sit down.
Malpractice makes perfidy.
Alimony is the loot of all evil.
Beauty is beholder deep and pound foolish
The.road to Hell is paved with good inventions (lies).
Familiarity breeds consequences
Better the devil you know than the devil you don’t know (except for Trump).
Jack of small tirades and Mistermuse of pun.
That last one can be taken with a grain of solvent.
masercot 10:57 am on February 25, 2021 Permalink |
Well, I’ve got crow on my face…
LikeLiked by 1 person
mistermuse 12:14 pm on February 25, 2021 Permalink |
You’re just jealous of that “Don’t Blame Me” clip with the face on its radio. 😉
LikeLike
Rivergirl 11:24 am on February 25, 2021 Permalink |
Ha! Well done.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Paulie 12:46 pm on February 25, 2021 Permalink |
Well done. Your irreverent repurposed old sayings brought to mind Ambrose Bierce’s Devil’s Dictionary.
LikeLiked by 1 person
mistermuse 1:55 pm on February 25, 2021 Permalink |
The devil, you say!
I see that Bierce defines aphorisms (old sayings) as “Predigested wisdom.” So that’s what I’ve regurgitated!
LikeLiked by 1 person
mistermuse 12:50 pm on February 25, 2021 Permalink |
Thanks, Rg, but that served to give me second thoughts about the “You can’t judge a cook…” saying, so I replaced it with “The road to Hell….” It may not be much better, but I’ll let it lie.
LikeLike
magickmermaid 1:14 pm on February 25, 2021 Permalink |
Punderful! Old Sayings 2.0; very apropos!
LikeLiked by 1 person
mistermuse 5:07 pm on February 25, 2021 Permalink |
My fav is #4, partly because it combines parts of 2 old sayings into one. I’m sure you know which two I mean, but if not, let me know and I’ll provide the answer at a very reasonable price. 😉
LikeLike
equipsblog 3:58 pm on February 25, 2021 Permalink |
These traverse the universe from fairly clever to punintended gag reflex.
LikeLiked by 1 person
mistermuse 5:14 pm on February 25, 2021 Permalink |
I was thinking of following up with more old sayings and song clips, but maybe you’ve suffered enough. Stay ‘tuned.’
LikeLike
Lynette d'Arty-Cross 4:05 pm on February 25, 2021 Permalink |
Don’t thump around the shrubbery! 😀
LikeLiked by 2 people
mistermuse 5:18 pm on February 25, 2021 Permalink |
That would indeed be “bush league,” Lynette. 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
Lynette d'Arty-Cross 6:45 pm on February 25, 2021 Permalink
Hahaha. 😀
LikeLike
Mr. Ohh's Sideways View 11:56 pm on February 26, 2021 Permalink |
Great song but I live my life from a thrift store and buy old cars. I can’t remember the last new thing i bought.
Great Puns
Laughter Can be habit forming
LikeLiked by 1 person
mistermuse 1:58 am on February 27, 2021 Permalink |
I buy my cars new, but keep them forever — still driving the one I bought new in ’94 (same thing with women — still living with the one I married in ’68).
LikeLike
annieasksyou 6:02 pm on February 28, 2021 Permalink |
My fav is the last, mm.
And to you I say: “May you live in interesting rhymes.”
LikeLiked by 1 person
mistermuse 7:41 pm on February 28, 2021 Permalink |
Changing “times” to “rhymes” in that reputed old Chinese curse
Is Ah, so much more for the better than the worse —
Which is not to say that my rhymes all carps disperse….
In fact, some (not you, of course) might say the reverse
LikeLike
bettiecarmack 2:39 am on March 6, 2021 Permalink |
Thank you for sharing
This article is so musical and full of out of the box thinking.
LikeLiked by 1 person
mistermuse 9:53 am on March 6, 2021 Permalink |
Thanks for your comment.
LikeLiked by 1 person