As I’m sure you know, tomorrow (Oct. 22) is NATIONAL NUT DAY. I could make acorny joke about it, but the point is that NUTS are not only good, but good for you (with the nutable exception of our Make America Gross Again President). I suppose one could choke to death on a nut, which probablyΒ isn’t good for you — but that’s not the nut’s fault (is anything ever his fault?). In any case, with sincerest wishes for the good health of my readers — living or deceased — I’m here to say NUTS TO YOU. By George, just because I Got Plenty Of Nut Thing doesn’t mean I got no nuts, and so should you.Β  And so to you, I deadicate this post.

It is my honor to bring to you a selection of appropriately nutty songs, starting with a stomp which I’m certain will buoy yo spirits (not to mention yo mama’s). NOTE: Any resemblance between the NUT HOUSE STOMP song which is before us, and the WHITE HOUSE STUMP spin which is beneath us, is purely contemptible.

Next, I offer you a lovely bunch of coconuts. Any resemblance to supporters of Trump is purely considerable:

No National Nut Day celebration would be complete without the most beloved ballet in all of nutland. Let’s take a crack at it, shall we?

Oh, well — nut thing ventured, nut thing gained..