GO TO HELLISTAN
Yesterday, I commented on Rivergirl’s March 25 post titled “THINGS THAT FALL INTO THE WTH? CATEGORY”, which told of (among other things) a place known as the Door to Hell in Derweze, Turkmenistan. As I mentioned in that comment, I’ve actually gone to Hell (by car, by the way; not in a handbasket) — the town of Hell in Michiganistan, which may not be as hot as Hell in Turkmenistan, but is more convenient. I figure this is more than enough to qualify me as an authority on anystan’s Hell, hence this post.
When I say “more convenient,” I of course mean convenient to my followers here in the good old United Statesistan. If you live in Asiastan, you will undoubtedly be able to go to Hell more conveniently in Turkmenistan. On the other stan, if you live in Hindustan (aka The Republic of India), you’re stuckistan in Hindustan because India is in total lockdown due to the coronavirus (I would’ve said coronavirustan, but I understan that’s sickistan).
Anyway, the Hell I’ve been through in Michiganistan has an official website; rather than me give you the scoopistan, here’s the official poopistan straight from the horse’s mouth:
Now, if that doesn’t make you want to go to Hell, I don’t know what willistan. I happen to know a guy (his name is Stan) whose wife is a real clothes horse and looks hot in green, gray or white; he often takes her through Hell no matter what she’s wearing, even though….
I close with this thought: Where do people in Hell tell each other to go?
Francisco Bravo Cabrera, and 14 others are discussing. 
The Observation Post 
blindzanygirl 12:09 am on March 26, 2020 Permalink |
Oh god mistermuse. You had me in stitches there. One very brilliant post. How about stitchistan?
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mistermuse 12:54 am on March 26, 2020 Permalink |
Sorry I had you in stitches, Lorraine. I hope they dissolve without having to be removed by handistan. 😉
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renxkyoko 3:56 am on March 26, 2020 Permalink |
Is there really such a place in Michigan called Hell ? ? ? O-O
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mistermuse 9:44 am on March 26, 2020 Permalink |
Hell yes. Here’s proof:
https://www.google.com/search?q=hell+michigan&tbm=isch&source=univ&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiesazplLjoAhWCWM0KHaxwDzwQ7Al6BAgKEDw&biw=1280&bih=857
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obbverse 4:21 am on March 26, 2020 Permalink |
We do have a Styx near to us- too near perhaps?
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mistermuse 10:21 am on March 26, 2020 Permalink |
The only Styx I know of is the River Styx in Greece. I’m guessing the Styx near you is a creek out in the sticks, so you’re probably safe barring a flood of mythical proportions. 😉
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obbverse 5:19 pm on March 26, 2020 Permalink
Yep, it is a river, not too wide, but the journey over is quite soul destroying.
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calmkate 7:51 am on March 26, 2020 Permalink |
lol hilarious!
After many years in isolation I was crossing a city by public transport and needed a loo quickly. Couldn’t spot any so asked a couple … the guy said “go to hell”, I said “I just asked for a loo” and he repeated “go to hell” … well I thought that was a bit rude when they both burst into loud belly laughs. Seems a new pizza joint had opened called “Hell’s Kitchen” and they had good clean loos just two doors up from where I asked.
They patiently waited until I emerged, it was quite dark and a bit spooky, and apologised. Said he’d been waiting for years to say that to someone …
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mistermuse 11:37 am on March 26, 2020 Permalink |
That’s a loo-loo of a story, Kate! 😉
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calmkate 8:18 pm on March 26, 2020 Permalink
helluva decent thing to say MrM 🙂
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Eliza 8:06 am on March 26, 2020 Permalink |
Love the last thought. Still giggling… maybe they send each other to heaven.
Love, light, and glitter
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mistermuse 11:43 am on March 26, 2020 Permalink |
Well, since they’re already in Hell, I guess there’s no place else to go but up. 😉
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Eliza 11:54 am on March 26, 2020 Permalink
Always up 🙂
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Rivergirl 8:30 am on March 26, 2020 Permalink |
Go to Hell. Best tourist ad line ever!!
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mistermuse 11:53 am on March 26, 2020 Permalink |
If they have some rusty old tools in Hell, you’d better not tell hubby, or he’ll probably want to go there ASAP (and maybe take you with him, just for the Hell of it). 😉
P.S. That’s an “inside” joke — non-followers of Rivergirl’s blog will have to go there (rather than Hell) to get it.
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Rivergirl 1:57 pm on March 26, 2020 Permalink
It goes without saying, my hell will be filled with rusty tools!!
😳
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arekhill1 12:15 pm on March 26, 2020 Permalink |
Never been to Hell, Sr. Muse, but my critics assure me I will inevitably end up there. I’ll try and get a postcard out to you.
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mistermuse 2:46 pm on March 26, 2020 Permalink |
You don’t want to go to Hell, Ricardo. Just the thought of spending eternity there with Trump should be more than enough to motivate you to aim higher (even if you have to make a pit-stop in Purgatory on your way up).
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magickmermaid 1:07 pm on March 26, 2020 Permalink |
A postistan of immense laughistan! Great tune as well! I’m putting Hell, Michiganistan on my places to visit list. People in Hell probably tell others to go to Trumpistan. 😀
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mistermuse 3:03 pm on March 26, 2020 Permalink |
After Trump kicks the bucket, I expect he will try to make Hell great again by merging it with Trumpistan and naming it Hellistan. Thanks to the very prescient title of this post, you heard the name here first, mm.
P.S. On second thought, Trump loves the sound of his name too much not to call it Trumpistan….but it will definitely become more hellish after he gets there.
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annieasksyou 6:07 pm on March 26, 2020 Permalink |
Re: your last comment: trump can’t make hell any more hellish than he’s made things here.
This post was funistan, mistermuse, though I can’t quite figure out how the temperature in Hell, Michiganistan, could be 53 degrees. Deceptive PR to draw in more unsuspecting travelers on one-way trips?
Your post reminded me that when our older daughter was a Russian studies major in college, she spent a semester in Leningrad just before the coup. One of her cheery jaunts was to fly in a WWII turboprop plane to a mountain in Tajikistan (I may be misstanning which Stan), where she was the only woman watching a group of men play a traditional “polo” game on camels, armed with swords (the men, not the camels), with a goat as the winner’s prize.
Fortunately, she told us about this adventure well after returning home because I found it scary as hellistan.
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mistermuse 7:09 pm on March 26, 2020 Permalink |
Thanks for that interesting comment, Annie.
As for the 53 degree temp in Hell, I’d blame it on global warming, but that sounds pretty frigid for Hell. In any case, Hell has frozen over in the past, as you can see among the pix in the link which follows the post’s 3rd paragraph….istan.
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Elizabeth 3:59 pm on March 27, 2020 Permalink |
After you have visited Hell you can come to Satan’s Kingdom in Connecticut. It is located quite near to Devil’s Hopyard!
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mistermuse 6:21 pm on March 27, 2020 Permalink |
The name Devil’s Hopyard sounds vaguely familiar — I think I may have been there on one of my vacations trips East decades ago. In any case, we’re going through enough hell since Trump’s election to the Presidency, and with the corona virus right now….so I regret that I can’t accept your invitation, Elizabeth.
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Elizabeth 4:47 pm on March 28, 2020 Permalink
You are right that we are now all in Hell.
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eswini 5:50 pm on March 27, 2020 Permalink |
These days, the two hellish companions would probably just send each other to Coronastan 😦 Bitter laugh.
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masercot 10:07 am on March 29, 2020 Permalink |
People in Hell tell each other to go to Amarillo. Way worse than Hell…
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mistermuse 12:38 pm on March 29, 2020 Permalink |
Haven’t been to Amarillo, but I’ve been in Laredo in summer. It was truly…
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barkinginthedark 3:42 pm on April 1, 2020 Permalink |
Go to D.C.? continue…
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mistermuse 6:41 pm on April 2, 2020 Permalink |
Since Trump went to D.C., the whole country has gone to Hellistan. If we can survive 7 more months, we will realize as never before the meaning of Martin Luther King’s FREE AT LAST! FREE AT LAST! THANK GOD ALMIGHTY, WE’RE FREE AT LAST!
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JosieHolford 6:02 am on April 6, 2020 Permalink |
People in hell say: “Go to tRump’s America.”
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mistermuse 9:23 am on April 6, 2020 Permalink |
….and no doubt they’re also praying that tRump goes to heaven when he dies, as hell is unbearable enough without him making it more so.
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Francisco Bravo Cabrera 11:05 am on April 9, 2020 Permalink |
To New Jersey! Great sounds, love that New Orleans music…one of my favourite cities in the US…great post!
Cheers!
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mistermuse 12:37 pm on April 9, 2020 Permalink |
Thank you, Francisco. There’s nothing like New Orleans music to lift the spirit in dispirited times! New Orleans is one of my favorite cities as well (and BRAVO for San FRANCISCO too)! 😉
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Francisco Bravo Cabrera 12:39 pm on April 9, 2020 Permalink
Yes, you are absolutely right abut that! Music is a special remedy for the spirit that always works! Love New Orleans and been to San Francisco only once and I loved it, the architecture, the layout of the city and the gorgeous bay! Great city!
Greetings from my city,
Valencia, Spain,
Francisco
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mistermuse 12:44 pm on April 9, 2020 Permalink |
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Silver Screenings 4:59 pm on April 12, 2020 Permalink |
This song is another fab piece you’ve introduced me to. I listened to it twice in a row. Thanks!
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mistermuse 12:29 am on April 13, 2020 Permalink |
That song goes back to the Roaring 20s. Love it!
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