Here an Ad, there an Ad, everywhere an Ad….

Dear Mr. WordPress,

I’ve been meaning to let you know how much I appreciate your inserting ads all over my posts. Ads which used to appear only at the end of posts now show up between paragraphs, nicely interrupting the continuity and flow of my narrative. The effect of these discreet interdictions is akin to thoughtful telemarketers apologetically interrupting such optional diversions of mine as eating dinner or catching up on sleep late in the morning.

You see what I mean?

Now, I know you’re only trying to make a buck, and if you can’t do it by getting me to upgrade my free WordPress site to a paying one, you must make it with ads. But is it just a coincidence that my failure to take ADvantage of your recent UPGRADE IMPORTUNING coincides with inserting ads willy-nilly into MY POSTS like they’re less sacrosanct than the Holy Bible or Donald Trump tweets? You cut me to the quick, sir.

Well, sir, I know that, like trying to fight City Hall, I am almost certainly wasting my valueless time making this request, but if you could possibly see it in your heart of hearts to refrain from inserting ads in the middle of my posts, I would be eternally grateful. After all, ’tis the Christmas season, and you have all the space in the world at the end of my humble posts to place ads to your heart’s content.

God bless you, sir, and may you have a Merry Christmas and a Prosperous New Year!