GOOD-BY, JU-LY
I don’t know about the weather where you are, but one state north of me, in the town of Hell, Michigan, I hear July has been….
So, when it’s hotter than ‘ell in Hell, I say it’s time to say good-by to July, and good riddance. As I (would like to) tell my visiting in-laws, come back again when you can’t stay so long. Today, as July leaves, I leave you with some hot jokes to remember me by until my next post….and remember, don’t blame the muse-enger for the clinkers. Acting as a muse meant for amusement, mistermuse mooched most of ’em, thus no funny-back guarantees.
How hot is it?
So hot, the birds are using potholders to pull worms out of the ground.
How do you make holy water?
Boil the hell out of it.
What did one pig say to the other in a steamy pigpen?
I’m bacon.
How hot is it?
So hot, the chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.
What happened when Mr. White bought a loaf of bread at the store?
By the time he got home, White’s bread was toast.
How hot is it?
So hot, when I spilled ice water on my computer, it begged for more.
Somehow, I have a funny feeling it’s gonna be a while before my next post.
The Observation Post 
America On Coffee 1:46 am on July 31, 2019 Permalink |
August will be hotter.
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mistermuse 8:08 am on July 31, 2019 Permalink |
Maybe — maybe not-er.
If so — not by a lot-er.
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America On Coffee 11:09 am on July 31, 2019 Permalink
Do you think we’ll be smot-ter if it’s not hot-ter? If you cannot answer ask your dot-ter. 😁👍
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mistermuse 11:42 am on July 31, 2019 Permalink
I have two dot-ters, and they both say I should quit while I’m (not) ahead. 😦
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calmkate 2:49 am on July 31, 2019 Permalink |
hope not, I appreciate your puns … cold and wet here … get well soon!
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mistermuse 8:16 am on July 31, 2019 Permalink |
Thanks, but it was my computer that needed to get well — or would have, if I’d actually spilled ice water on it (though I did spill water on it once several years ago and had to buy a new one).
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calmkate 9:18 am on July 31, 2019 Permalink
I spilt some water on mine 18 months ago, then a whole mug of coffee … managed to dry it out both times! Works well now but the keys stick a bit 🙂
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equipsblog 9:19 am on July 31, 2019 Permalink
I spilled wine on my keyboard a few times. Some of the keys no longer worked as well, but I think the computer was happy.
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mistermuse 11:04 am on July 31, 2019 Permalink
Thanks for the comment, equipsblog, but I hope you didn’t give my computer any ideas, as I don’t have any wine (hopefully it’ll be satisfied with beer if it gives me any problems).
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obbverse 3:11 am on July 31, 2019 Permalink |
By-bye to July, Hi hot August nights?
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mistermuse 8:23 am on July 31, 2019 Permalink |
At least my July has been very dry, resulting in little grass growth and a minimum of lawn mowing, so it’s not all bad.
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Rivergirl 7:17 am on July 31, 2019 Permalink |
July was the hottest month Portland Maine has had since they started keeping records. Today will be utterly miserable, 90’s with high humidity. That’s not Maine summer! No climate change my *ss.
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mistermuse 8:32 am on July 31, 2019 Permalink |
If Trump had his way, as he would say (if he had any wit), the way to deal with climate change is to stop keeping records. So-called problem solved!
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masercot 9:15 am on July 31, 2019 Permalink |
So hot I saw a dog chasing a cat and they were both walking.
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mistermuse 11:18 am on July 31, 2019 Permalink |
I saw a similar chase here, but it was so hot, they had to paws to rest every few seconds.
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masercot 11:49 am on July 31, 2019 Permalink
Homes-pun humor!
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equipsblog 9:17 am on July 31, 2019 Permalink |
Great jokes and I had not heard of any of them before. Although in VA July is supposed to be hotter than August, you could not prove by the increased humidity.
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mistermuse 11:26 am on July 31, 2019 Permalink |
I must admit I mooched the first four jokes (and part of the fifth) off the internet, so of the six, I only deserve credit(?) for one and a half.
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arekhill1 11:37 am on July 31, 2019 Permalink |
It’s actually been cooler than the last two summers here in San Diego. Very comfortable. Sorry.
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mistermuse 11:49 am on July 31, 2019 Permalink |
Don’t tell Trump, Ricardo, or he’ll cite that as proof against global warming.
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equipsblog 11:37 am on July 31, 2019 Permalink |
Applaud your honesty.
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Elizabeth 4:42 pm on July 31, 2019 Permalink |
Loved the holy water one. Thanks.
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mistermuse 5:17 pm on July 31, 2019 Permalink |
Bless you, Elizabeth!
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Elizabeth 2:30 pm on August 2, 2019 Permalink
Good one!
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barkinginthedark 6:02 pm on August 9, 2019 Permalink |
oy! but continue…
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Ernest Hucks 1:58 am on November 13, 2020 Permalink |
Joe Biden has forgotten more about governing than Trump ever learned.
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