I COULDN’T HAVE SAID IT BETTER MYSELF

For the short-term-memory-challenged among my readers, who may not recall every word of the posts I’ve posted in recent weeks, please allow me to refresh your appalling lack of retentive capacity by re-printing the first sentence of my second-to-last post, to wit:

“First, I want to beg your forgiveness for forgetting to publish a post for you on July 2nd (I FORGOT DAY), for I forgot it was I FORGOT DAY….but even if I hadn’t forgotten it was I FORGOT DAY, I might have forgotten to forget what I forgot.”

I re-print said sentence because, as a model of clarity of composition, it stands as a shining example of a category of phraseology comparable to such other tenebrous testaments to plain speaking as Legalese, Academese, and (The Man on the) Lying Trumpese — the latter not to be confused with this venerable lyrical disquisition of circus fame:

And how, you may wonder, does my phraseologically grandiloquent limpidity compare with analogous sample specimens of the aforementioned Legalese, Academese, and Lying Trumpese? Ask, my disquisitive friends, and ye shall receive:

As stated heretofore, the defendant’s conduct created, caused, and resulted in serious bodily harm and massive injuries, to wit: a broken and mangled left leg, lacerations to the aforementioned leg, and several broken digits on the foot attached to said leg, in witness whereof was the spouse of the injured party.

While the required breadth of content coverage appears to have been the surprise in development of the knowledge or cognitive area, method was unquestionably the potential stumbling block of affective measurement.

In so far as manifestations of infestation by a picayunish faunal species were evident in the residential facilities provided by the agricultural laborers, an unwillingness to occupy, utilize, or in any manner inhabit the facilities was therefore demonstrated by the aforementioned laborers.

But the above paradigms of grandiloquent limpidity pale, of course, in comparison with such clown-simple, yet grandiosely eloquent, linguistics of Lying Trumpese as these:

Wow, highest poll numbers in the history of the Republican Party. That includes Honest Abe Lincoln and Ronald Reagan.

There has never been, ever before, an Administration that’s so open and transparent.

I have tremendous support from women.

Right. And mistermuse has tremendous support from Trump lovers.